Give this tease a break
by livbishop
Summary: Set in Glee 5x19 "Old Dog New Tricks" episode. While playing Peter at the "Lexington Home for Retired Performers", Kurt spots a familiar pair of green eyes staring right at him. Soon enough, Kurt learns that Sebastian's grandmother is one of his favourite old ladies... and he has a hard time believing that Sebastian is the wonderful grandson he's been hearing all about for weeks.
1. Chapter 1

I don't own Glee!

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As Kurt stepped out onto the stage for the second act, he first laid eyes on his friends. He had spotted them earlier, and yet, only now he realised there was an important and friendly face missing: had Santana been not able to make it? Well, for all he knew, he could consider himself lucky that very-busy-with-June-Blaine and very-busy-with-Funny-Girl-Rachel were even there. Everybody seemed to be so busy these days that Kurt didn't know what to expect anymore. Hell, he was astonished to acknowledge Sam's presence on the crowd! _Wait_, also Mercedes! God, did he love those guys.

As a warm feeling started to fill up his chest, watching all these familiar faces, Kurt suddenly locked eyes with some random guy that was staring right back at him. He did not acknowledge those eyes right away. But _those_ eyes. Those green eyes. God, he could swear he had seen those eyes before. _Wait!_ That smirk. _That_ arrogant smirk. No, it couldn't be. Was it… even possible? Was that Sebastian Smythe's signature smirk?

"Ahem, my dear, my very dear Peter, will you grant me that wish?" the sweet old lady repeated for Kurt with pliant eyes. Then it hit him. It was _his_ turn to speak.

"Oh" Kurt freaked out for a second, remembering where he was and forcing himself to regain his composure. "But Wendy, my sweet Wendy, I'm no goody enchanting fairy" he pronounced with the sweetest of voices. The audience laughed, as he had predicted.

"Pete, don't be a tease, bud!" said the old man sitting across him, giving his best attitude yet. "You've been coming here for a while now, all braggin' about how you can fly… come on, man! What about some sharing, huh?"

"I ain't no _tease_, Christopher!" said Kurt, and he could swear he had heard a particular old familiar chuckle coming from certain place back on the audience… or maybe his mind was trying to play some cruel tricks on him. _Damn meerkat_, he thought anyway. "I'll show _you_!" Kurt continued, and while his voice and face was directed to the old man playing Christopher, his mind had yet some catching up to do. "Now, all you need to do is… believing!"

"Ohhh, believing?" the old gang replied at unison.

"Cut the crap!" a very pissed yet cheeky old lady told him, pointing an accusing finger at him "You better start giving us some realness, Pete-boy, or we're kicking you out, sweetheart".

"Okay! Okay! Jeez. Give this _tease_ a break!" then Kurt calmly stood up and began pacing the stage "It was no shit, Alice. Let's get real, honey… If only you gave your imagination a shot, you'd see what I'm talking about. It just takes some focus, that's all"

"Focus?" the cheeky lady insisted.

"Yeah, Alice, focus. Now, you gotta think, think really hard, and paint very vividly, in your mind, those dreams you long to achieve. I'm telling ya, imagination can do wonders" Kurt winked suggestively while lowering down his voice, but immediately regretted it as he could swear, again, he had heard that annoying chuckle. _Goddammit_, had he written a play full of innuendos? This time he couldn't help himself and took a quick glance back at where he had spotted Sebastian sitting earlier, just for a second. A second was all it took to see Sebastian staring right back, smirking widely and mindlessly. _That meerkat_.

The lights shifted and the first notes of "Lucky star" began to play. That put Kurt out of his second spacing out and shot him some good adrenaline. _Let's see who smirks now, meerkat. _He mentally slapped himself for thinking that, because this performance was _only his_ to enjoy, _only his_ to own. Well, _maybe_ Blaine's too. But God, did he adore this song! And he had put so much effort in the choreography… _Focus, Hummel, focus!_

/

"OH SWEET BARBRA, KURT! OH. MY. GOD!" a very loud and huggy Rachel Berry shouted so high that even the deafest old man in the nursing place stared right at her with disapproval. Kurt hugged her back with joy, though. Had he ever seen Rachel _that _excited for something that in no way involved her? He thought not.

"Even the part where my foot got stuck on the robe and I awkwardly kicked it out?" Kurt mumbled. Talk about perfectionism. Blaine put a warm arm around his shoulders, grinning like crazy, and Kurt immediately relaxed a little. "I'll take it as you guys liked it" Kurt conceded, smiling fondly.

"Well, if by _guys_ you mean shouty Streisand-wannabe here…" an unpleasantly familiar voice stated behind him. For a second, all Kurt could take notice in that harsh line of Sebastian was the unnerving proximity of his voice, barely brushing Kurt's ear, as if only for Kurt to hear it. It made him shiver. _Weird_. Kurt turned around to face him.

The Sebastian that stood there was _somehow_ very different from the Sebastian he had last seen on his proposal, almost one year ago. His hair was longer, for starters. And he was not wearing that old-fashioned Dalton blazer. Instead, his clothing skills seemed to have improved, and he was wearing an elegant cozy grey sweater with some dark Levi's. _Damn it_. Kurt tried hard to find a flaw to his outfit, but Sebastian wasn't worth of Kurt betraying his unconditional love for Levi's. Sebastian actually looked good. As in, more mature-like good. _Just an appreciation_, thought Kurt.

"Well, if it isn't my biggest fan here! Long time no see!" Kurt greeted him, sarcasm mode on. "My first main lead performance in New York – granted, on a nurse place" he added seeing the growing smirk on Sebastian's face "and you just happen to come by here…" Kurt couldn't fucking believe his luck. Like, did the Universe hate him or something? "Hey, what were the odds?" Kurt grinned nervously. _Calm down, Hummel_.

"Oh, but I _am_ your biggest fan, gayface" Sebastian faked pouted. "And quit the modesty – it's not a good colour on you… and I'm not buying it" Sebastian winked. He_ fucking _winked. _He hasn't changed for a bit_, thought Kurt.

"Hey, Bastian!" Blaine cheerfully greeted him, going as far as even putting an arm around him and going for a hug. _What the…?_

"Hey there, Blaine" Sebastian quickly broke it off. "Well, I see the misfits that grow together, stick together, huh? Lovely."

"Wow" replied Blaine, taken a little aback. "That was harsh even coming from you, Sebastian."

"No it wasn't, Blainey, I was just kidding" said Sebastian, rolling his eyes. And then he actually smiled. "God, I'm on the path of the righteous, okay? But you can't put in front of me such a family portrait and expect me to restrain myself… can you?" he added almost laughing. _Like you know about restraint_, thought Kurt. "_Give this tease a break_!" Sebastian mimicked Kurt and stared right at him, amusement playing in his eyes. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, though, that was… fun, Hummel" Sebastian said, hesitantly, as if one compliment coming from him would be completely out of place. _Yes, awkward_, thought Kurt.

"Ahem, thanks. I guess?" he replied, narrowing his eyes at Sebastian.

"I mean it, gayface, I read on the program that the adaptation was yours, right?" Sebastian asked, or more like demanded. His stare was intense, though his face remained playful.

"Yeah, that's right. I just… Well, I thought the play could use a new angle. The cast was… unconventional, after all" Kurt supplied. He didn't exactly know why, but there was no bitchiness on his remarks. _Have I lost it?_ He thought. And then added "Not that I'd expect your chipmunk brain to appreciate it" Kurt smirked, as it regaining his confidence. _That's more like it_, he beamed at himself.

"There we go!" Sebastian laughed. _What the…_? "I knew you still had some bitchy remarks left on you… You've missed spitting your venom on me, haven't you, Hummel?" for a second, the tough expression of Sebastian's eyes softened, and Kurt just stared, almost about to smile himself.

"Don't be mean, Bastian" Blaine interfered. "You can end anybody's patience; that's all" Blaine offered with a smile, as if to justify Kurt's malice.

"Ain't that the truth, Blainey…" Sebastian replied casually, shifting the weight on his feet, preparing himself to leave. "Well, it's been lovely to see yo-"

"What are you even doing here?" Kurt cut him. _Damn your curiousity, Hummel!_ He mentally slapped himself.

But Sebastian seemed to feel like playing innocent and fake-kindly suggested: "Here as in New York, or…?" he let the question unfinished, waiting for an exasperated Kurt to complete it.

"Here as in… whatever! Both!" he answered, annoyed, folding his arms. Sebastian smirked, amused.

"Well, I happen to live here, gayface. I go to NYU, for your information" he stated proudly, gaining a very confused glare from Sam, who had been witnessing the whole meeting with precaution, unsure of what to do. "As to why I'm here, as in your _off-off-off-off-Broadway_ debut" he even took his time to emphasize each _off_, gaining a furious glare from both Kurt and Rachel this time, "well, I happen to have grand-parents, you know? Edna over there is my grandma, a.k.a. the coolest actress you got in here, if you ask me" he answered while putting his arm around Blaine, in a confidant-like way, gaining the most uncomfortable look Blaine had ever managed to pull off. Kurt just rolled his eyes, getting used to the familiar Sebastian's show-offs in little time.

"And here I was thinking we might have lost you forever in your beloved France… can't help but wonder what went wrong there, meerkat. Didn't you want to attend college in Paris?" Kurt asked, completely satisfied with having his long time missed bitchiness back. _Well hello old friend_. Sebastian smiled back, but it wasn't a genuine smile, maybe a sad one? _Now you're imagining things, Hummel_.

"I'm touched you remember, Kurtie" arrogant smirk on. "Thinking about me that much?" Sebastian gave the final punch, his face getting closer to Kurt, as if to dare him to ask further. Kurt took the hint, and step back, annoyed by the proximity. _What's with this guy invading people's space?_ He thought.

"You wish" Kurt bit back, playfully exaggerating his disdain. He locked eyes with Sebastian for a moment, the information suddenly sinking in. Kurt's eyes went wide as if about to leave his face. "Edna is your grandmother" he stated, unable to content his surprise.

"Took you long enough" Sebastian said, amused.

"Mmh…" Kurt mumbled for a minute, unsure of his following words "She really makes a great Tinkerbell, doesn't she? She's a wonderful woman" Kurt said, fondly, not wanting to contain his fondness just because of Sebastian. Then thought it better and added: "So much talent… where did her heritage go?" he faked concerned.

"Ha ha, you've watched me perform more than once, Kurtie. No need to pretend here" Sebastian winked, _again_. They fell in an awkward silence, staring back at each other.

"Can't say I missed this" Blaine said, but he was so clearly amused that his smile gave it completely away. Sebastian took the chance to smile seductively at him. _Here we go again…_ Kurt thought, more with actual amusement than with the old bitterness he used to witness Sebastian's attempts at flirting with the ever oblivious Blaine. He didn't realised the change, though.

"Well, can't say I'm happy to see you again, Sebastian. But enough with the _hellos_. Can we leave now, _Kurt_?" Rachel asked him, which took Kurt by surprise. Wait, since when was _he_ the reason they were stuck on this awkward reunion?

"Why do you ask me?" Kurt hesitated, but took the hint and proceed to get rid of Sebastian, anyway. "Well, chipmunk, _pleasure_ to meet you again…" he said with as much irony as he could pull off and took the hand Sebastian offered him, granting each other an effusive hand-shake full of sarcasm, yet tight. _We're shaking hands now?_

"Same, Kurtie. Blainey. Barbra." He just looked at each of them, no hand-shaking involved, apparently. Then he stopped when his eyes laid on Mercedes and Sam, unsureness all over him for a second: "Blondie. Blackie" he offered, gaining some furious glares from the couple.

As Sebastian walked away, towards Edna –Kurt noticed–, the gang took their coats and exited the place, looking instantly relieved and starting an animated chat about how great the play had been, to which Kurt put little attention, as his mind still lingered back at the nursing place, reliving the few exchanges they had just shared with Sebastian Smythe.

It couldn't be possible... could it? Sebastian was Edna's grandson. _Wow_. For weeks, he had heard nothing but praises about her _handsome_ and _too smart for his own good_ granchild. From silly stories about his childhood, to truly endearning anecdotes from a grown-up Sebastian. _Bas_, she had called him. Even Kurt had grown fond of the little boy who had learnt with admiration everything his grandma had to offer about performing. _Makes sense,_ Kurt had to concede to himself. Sebastian was not a bad performer, despite his previous snarky comment on that ground. _He deserved it,_ he repeated himself, and yet some haunting feeling, terribly similar to guilt, crept up his chest. The Sebastian that Edna had described, and the one he got to knew back in highschool seemed like two completely different individuals, and yet... the more he thought about it, the more _clicks_ his brain made.

"Penny for your thoughts" Blaine asked him quietly, only for them to hear it, while a kind smile graced his lips. Kurt answered with one of his own.

"You really liked it?" he said, trying to cover for his mind spacing out like that. He was with his friends, _come on, Hummel!_ "I'm so happy you guys were there with me…" and Kurt meant it.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Kurt" said Blaine and hugged him. Kurt stayed in his arms for a little, taking comfort on his boyfriend warmth.

"Mmm… well, it's not like it was my Broadway debut" he broke it off and his brain was suddenly filled with _off-off-off-off…_ "But it was a wonderful experience, you know? If only, for the people I got to meet" he shrugged.

"Maybe I shouldn't say this, but Sebastian was right, Kurt" said Blaine, but noticing Kurt's confusion he rushed to add "I mean, the modesty part!" he explained. "Own your victories; that was a pretty clever take on the play, you know? Everybody loved it and… may I say how absolutely fabulous you managed to look in that harness?" Blaine stopped then, for emphasis. "Trust me, not everybody can pull off a performance like that in such an uncomfortable condition, but you did it gracefully!"

Kurt smiled and put an arm around his fiancé. _I was hoping to look hot, but… gracefully and fabulous will do_, he thought.

Little he knew he had indeed looked hot to a certain viewer in the audience.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you guys for your reviews! you're too kind :3

This is my first attempt ever at writing fanfiction... also at writing in English, so... well, let's see where this story goes... I hope I won't disappoint you!

P.S.: I don't own Glee! I wish.

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Later that night, the endorphins released by the thrill of the performance brought Blaine and Kurt closer.

"I really missed this" said Blaine, his hand slowly drawing circles on Kurt's shoulder.

Kurt thought about it. Since Blaine had moved out from the apartment, they hardly had intimacy time with each other. Sure, they always found time to _relieve _themselves one way or another, but _intimacy_, or just cuddling, like they were doing right now… well, it was a rare gift, given that they usually met at school or for dinner.

"Yeah… I know what you mean" Kurt agreed, then turned around on Blaine's arms to look right at him "I _really _miss it too" he conceded, and witnessed Blaine's eyes going wide with longing and hope "… we should, ahem, find more time for us, yeah" he quickly added, panic running all over him. He might miss Blaine's arms around him every now and then, but they were absolutely not ready to live together again.

Blaine's look turned sadder, and the boy simply sighed. "I know… June's gotten me so busy lately" he commented. "I'm gonna ask her to cut me some slack… my fiancé comes first" he smiled, quietly.

Kurt shook his head "No, Blaine, that's fine. That woman is being nothing but dedicated to you and your promising career. It's not a small deal, you know…" Kurt really struggled to find the right words. "And, even if that means seeing you less often than I'd like to… I must admit- well, that I'm really happy for you" he assured him.

"Thank you, Kurt" Blaine added, a genuine smile on his lips. "I know it hasn't been easy for you-"

"No, Blaine! That's what I'm trying to tell you… I'm really doing _fine_, I mean it" Kurt said. "Even before tonight… Okay, of course tonight's performance has everything to do with this thrill I'm feeling, but… Doing something on your own, or like you said - _owning your victories_, it feels _great_ and that's what you're doing too, making your own path towards… an even better self... and I like the new Blaine I'm seeing lately" Kurt encouraged him. He really wanted Blaine to keep up with his newly found own rhythm, instead of the clinginess he went through when they were living together.

"But it's… it's just this woman, Kurt," Blaine insisted. "I mean, I really appreciate what June's been doing for me, but I'd much rather walk that path beside you-"

"But you are!" Kurt cut him and sit up, exasperation asking to govern him. He took a deep breath. "Blaine, we… we are _together_ even if we're not taking every single step of the way by the hand… I just- I wish you understood that" Kurt said, a hint of anxiety playing on his throat.

Blaine looked taken aback and regretful "I know, I know, Kurt! I'm sorry, really, I am…" he moved his hand tentatively to reach Kurt's but then stopped midway, unsure. "I just… miss you, that's all, but I completely understand what you're saying" he nodded, trying to look as convincing as possible.

Kurt gulped down. _We could continue this conversation forever, and it wouldn't make any difference_, he thought. "I'm right here, Blaine… I'm right here" that's all he said, laying down again. "Let's just… have tonight, all right? Just cuddle me" he told his boyfriend.

/

Two hours went by, and Kurt was still wide awake. Blaine had dozed off long ago, so his arms were no longer around him, _oppressing him, _Kurt thought, and immediately felt bad about it. He needed some air, so he got up and went to the living room.

He walked towards the balcony, determined to make good use of that fantastic fire escape, but his eyes caught a glimpse of Blaine's laptop laying on top of the living room table. They had forgotten it there after watching some episodes of _Project Runway_ earlier. Without as much as giving it a thought, he grabbed it and finally opened it when reaching the staircase.

It was about to dawn, Kurt noticed, and the view distracted him for a moment. He contemplated the views, fascinated, taking appreciation of the big city below him, sleeping like a very big baby. It looked so harmless like that, compared to the way it looked during the day.

Then he remembered the laptop on his lap, and some weird resolution hit him. He looked at the windows left opened and clicked on Facebook. Blaine's account was logged in, and Kurt couldn't help himself. _I'm just curious_, he repeated himself, for reassurance.

He clicked on the browser and started to type _Sebast- _when three suggestions appeared: _Sebastian Abrams_, _Sebastian Smythe_, and_ Sebastian Waters._ All of them were Facebook-friends with Blaine. He looked at the second one and rolled his eyes. _Of course you're friends with him_, he thought amused.

He clicked on _Sebastian Smythe_ and his profile page appeared. He didn't know what the hell he was exactly looking for. It wasn't like Sebastian's profile page would help him make sense of Edna's grandson mystery, but still… Curiosity took the best of him.

/

"You don't look so good" Rachel commented to a sleepy Kurt who had just hit his hip against the kitchen table.

"Dammit" Kurt mumbled, rapidly caressing his aching hip. _That ridiculously low table_. "I swear to God, Rachel, as soon as you're getting rich, you're buying us a new table" he grumpily pointed a finger at her, and then added "a _higher_ one".

"Okay, that was a low blow, but I'll let it slip because you don't look like you caught much sleep last night, am I wrong?" Rachel asked, not exactly concerned, Kurt thought, but… _understanding_.

"Yeah… No comments, please" Kurt replied and casted her a smile, to thank her gesture.

"You're gonna have to talk about it eventually, Kurt" she sang-song, and Kurt rolled his eyes at her.

"Nothing to talk about, Rachel" he mimicked her singing tone.

"Whatever" Rachel mumbled while offering Kurt his fix of coffee.

"Thank you, sweetie" he said.

"You're welcome" she kissed his cheek "There's some coffee left for Blaine, okay? I'm going to the theatre now, so I won't be back until…" she started counting with her fingers but got irritated and stopped, looking exhausted. "See you tomorrow".

"Have a nice day, beautiful" he offered, feeling more at ease and less grumpy. The coffee was already starting to kick in.

He heard the door shut and looked around, expecting to see a newspaper somewhere close. He picked it up and spent a quiet and comforting half an hour in absolute silence. Kurt wasn't a morning talker, so he was more than happy to have breakfast alone. _Thank God_ _for Rachel's crazy schedules_, he thought. It was in moments of quiet like this, real early in the morning, when he imagined he was actually living on his own. He had the apartment for himself and it felt like a _victory_, and that victory he did like to own.

"Morning, Kurt!" a ridiculously awake Blaine greeted him, planting one kiss on Kurt's cheek. Kurt observed Blaine moving around the kitchen like he did just that every day, and he could feel his grumpiness rising again. For a while, Kurt had actually forgotten that he was _not alone_ on _his_ flat.

"Morning" he mumbled, trying to hide his irritation. If earlier he could easily dismiss Rachel's attempts at talking by the natural instinct of being still asleep, now there was nowhere to hide from the voice on the back of his mind asking: _What's wrong with me?_

/

Kurt had to wait a few days to gather some needed courage in order to go visit the sweet old people at the Lexington Home. It wasn't that he was scared of them, of course not. It was that he was scared of his own face giving him away when listening to Edna's stories about her family.

Curiously enough, Maggie and Edna had become some sort of second family to Kurt. He could never got tired of watching their brilliant storytelling. Even if they were only talking about their old cats, Kurt would be able to practically taste their skills. They were pure artists, and their lives could only be _performed_, more than _told_.

His favourite storyteller was Edna by far. While Maggie was more amusing and entertaining (she always talked like she was addressing a dedicated audience), Edna, on the other hand, looked you right in the eye and made you feel like there was no one else in that room she would prefer to tell that.

There was something, though, that both old ladies had in common: Maggie and Edna seemed to have developed a unique ability to look right through Kurt and know the state of his soul. And that's why Kurt was delaying the weekly visit he had promised them once the play was over. And those old people were feeling abandoned enough by their families. Kurt could not did the same.

"Pillsbury!" Maggie greeted him with enthusiasm. Kurt smiled back.

"Hey Maggs! How are you doing? Still high from the show, huh?" he asked sweetly. It took them less than five seconds to start laughing.

"Oh, you know me so well, Peter!" Maggie was looking gentler than Kurt had ever seen her, and he was pretty sure of the reason.

"Someone looks beaming today, am I wrong?" he winked. "Where is Edna?" he asked as soon as he realised the old lady was nowhere to be seen.

"Oh, don't get me started! The old crank's been even more insufferable with her infinite rants, dear God!" she moved her hands exaggeratedly. _Show time_, Kurt thought. "But… ah, I can't blame her, Kurt. She has one hell of a sweet pie for a grandchild… and _so_ handsome!" Kurt gulped down.

"Is he? How sweet" that's all he managed to say. It didn't matter because Maggie wasn't finished yet.

"… And the way he talks, Kurt, _oh my_. I can see Edna's doing there. You see? Maybe the old crank wasn't all lying about spending that much time with her grandchildren after all" she added in a sadder tone. Kurt stared at her. "What? Don't give me that look, Pillsbury! Who would have thought?!"

"I would have, Maggie. You could tell me you were Cleopatra in another life, for all I know, and I would believe you" Kurt joked and they both chuckled. But he could see her point. "You can't complain yourself, lady. I hear someone's daughter came to pay a visit, huh?" he asked, cheekily. He was quite proud of his well doing there.

Her face lightened like a blooming rose. "Isn't she the prettiest? She's so elegant, Pillsbury…" Maggie looked hesitant for a moment. Kurt waited. "Can I tell you something, Kurtie? I'm actually really glad that she didn't go and inherit all my ridiculous stardom ambition, you know? That she is pursuing a career on a non-public scene, see what I mean?" Kurt did, so he nodded, briefly enough for Maggie to continue her speech. "I mean it, Kurt. This business is so harsh… I hope times had changed, mostly for your sake, sweetheart" Maggie genuinely smiled and it melted Kurt's insides.

"I know you care, Maggie. Thank you" he went for a brief hug with the petite lady. "But you don't need to worry about me losing my mind over it, you know that, right? Broadway is a dream, but it's only one of the many dreams Kurt Hummel treasures" he grinned. And it was the truth. Kurt hadn't had no one to tell this earlier, since he hardly saw his friends lately, but he actually enjoyed writing the adaption of _Peter Pan_. As well as choosing the wardrobe, _mind you_.

"I'm really happy to hear that" Maggie beamed at him and pointed at a table so they could sit and have some tea together, as it was customary for them. "It's the exact same I was telling Edna and that gorgeous boy of hers the other day" _Gorgeous_, Kurt gulped down again.

"Sure" he added, since it appeared that Maggie always waited for confirmation to keep on talking.

"I was relieved to know that kid is also treasuring other dreams, as you put it" she said and snapped her fingers at the nurse. Kurt could swear Maggie thought they were at some café. He wanted to say something about her manners, since he was a waiter himself, but got distracted by the image of Sebastian being such a versatile person. Apart from sex and singing, what else could he be into?

The nurse started setting the table for their very own tea-party. She smiled at Kurt, acknowledging him. Kurt nodded and smiled back, as in saying _hello_.

"I'm not sure I follow" he told Maggie. "I mean, I know he attends NYU, but I figured he'd be on the Arts program or something" he said frankly.

"Oh no, nothing like that" Maggie assured him. "He wants to be a doctor".

Kurt had to control himself from choking on his tea. _Doctor Sebastian Fucking Smythe, are you kidding me?_ His throat made a weird cough-like sound instead, and Maggie stared at him.

"You okay, sweetie?" she asked.

"Yeah, ahem, I'm fine, don't worry." He stopped to breath. "Just didn't see that coming" he added nervously and suspected a blush coming. _Damn my cheeks_.

"Well neither did I!" she exclaimed. "I can see why you'd think that, Pillsbury, with all the grandiloquent speeches about _Bas being a natural_ and his _endless skills_" Maggie had the humour to mimic Edna here and Kurt realised she had missed his awkward almost-choking moment. Apparently, she just thought that he was as suspicious as her about the big reputation Edna had built around her _little Bas_. "He's a sweet good-looking boy, I'll give you that, but I bet the kid can't even sing" she chuckled cheekly.

Kurt considered for a moment to laugh along, but somehow it felt wrong. It would be like backing up that lie. If there was one thing Kurt respected, that was art, no matter whose. "I'm actually sorry to differ here, Maggs, but _Bas_ can really sing. And dance too" he assured her.

"How would you know, sweetheart?" Maggie asked, a mix of intrigue and confusion dancing in her eyes. "Did Edna show us a video of him? I think I would recall…" she mused, bringing up her index finger to hold the weight of her head on her chin.

"Oh, she didn't, so you wouldn't remember" he corrected himself. He didn't want to give away that he already knew _Bas_, but… _Wait_, why was he feeling like defending the meerkat's honour? A very long half minute passed with Kurt distracting himself from Maggie's stare by drinking some more tea. He looked up, willing to face the weight of those old eyes, but found no courage left on him and innocently asked: "You want some more tea, Maggs?"

"No, thank you, Kurt" she replied, eyes still not leaving Kurt's actions. When another silence followed, she insisted: "So?"

"Mmh?" Kurt mumbled, bringing up the cup to his mouth again to buy himself some time. "What is it, dear?" he asked, mindless.

"How would you know that little Bas can sing?" she repeated again, calmly, now only intrigue running free on her eyes. _Little Bas – gross_, he thought.

Kurt sighed. The lady was just too much. "Fine" Maggie smiled, pleased. "You nosy lady" he accused her sticking out his tongue. "I met him back in high school…" he stopped to think of what to say next, and quickly decided for the short version… for Edna's sake. "I was in my school choir, and so was him at his own school, and we competed against each other at Regionals" he commented. "Needless to say, my school choir won" he winked, amused, "but he was his choir soloist, and that much I envied, to be honest" Kurt gave a crooked smile.

"Was he good, then?" Maggie inquired, curiosity taking the best of her.

"Actually… yes, he was. Blaming their defeat on him wouldn't be fair. I would blame it on his choir style, though. Too old-fashioned and _way_ too focus on just one soloist, you know? The other talented kids just sway in the back, fake smiling, and working their ass out to be synchronised. Pretty boring" he stopped right there afraid of having said too much. Should he omit that he used to attend that school too?

"You seem to know his school choir dynamic well enough, Kurtie" Maggie observed.

"Well…" he gave in – what was the use of lying? Surely Edna would find out soon enough, if she hadn't already. "I attended that school for a while. But that was before Sebastian was even there" he assured her, "and, also, that's where I met my boyfriend" he added, full of joy.

"Your fiancé, you mean" a sudden voice offered, coming from behind. Kurt didn't need to turn around to know it was Sebastian's, but he did anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

I forgot: I don't own Glee! x)

Again, thank you for the reviews! I loved them! I'm quite intrigued myself to find out about who Sebastian Smythe really is ;)

* * *

"_Your fiancé, you mean" a sudden voice offered, coming from behind. Kurt didn't need to turn around to know it was Sebastian's, but he did anyway._

Kurt was about to bitch out hard on Sebastian, giving him something like _''I can still call him my boyfriend, dumbass'_ but stopped on his tracks when he regarded the boy in front of him. Maybe it was that Sebastian's voice hadn't changed on the slightest, or maybe that his Facebook page was still way too flooded with old photos from his Warblers' days (Kurt had noticed with annoyance the other night – but _what _was he expecting to see?). Whatever the reason, Kurt was expecting to see a teenage boy sporting the CW hair and the Dalton dark blue blazer, staring at Kurt with obvious repulsion on his eyes. Instead, he was presented with an attractive male whose looks were somehow smart but casual, whose hair looked nothing but sculpted by Michelangelo himself, and whose smile was cheeky, in a childish way. Repulsion was not something to be read either from Sebastian or Kurt.

"Yeah… that's right" Kurt could only say, feeling dumb enough. Then he wondered: _God_, why did he keep forgetting to update Blaine's status? "Thank you" Kurt said, minding his cup of tea and wishing the other boy wouldn't notice his blush.

"_Anytime_" Sebastian emphasized. "It's a memory hard to erase, you know?" Sebastian told Maggie, enjoying a private joke of his and offering her grandma a chair. He sat beside Kurt.

"What is it, sweetheart?" asked Maggie, trying to catch up with Sebastian's naturally malicious remarks.

"Kurt's proposal" Sebastian _fucking _replied, to Kurt's discomfort. Kurt had conveniently omitted Sebastian being involved in his proposal, _thank you very much_. Why would he mention that? As Kurt remained silent, and maybe a little tense, the boy added: "I've always been good friends with Kurt's fiancé, Blaine." _Ha! Y__ou wish_, Kurt thought, but took the chance to speak.

"Yeah, as I was telling you, _Maggie_" he decided to avoid Sebastian's intense stare, "I met my boyfrie- _fiancé_ in that school of theirs" he chuckled awkwardly, trying to regain some domain in the conversation.

"Oh, so you two _really _did know each other, then" Maggie smiled, a hint of curiosity sparkling on her eyes.

"No" Kurt stated.

"Yes-" said Sebastian simultaneously.

"Well, not _really_" Kurt looked at Sebastian with suspicion. "Like he said… he's friends with my soon-to-be-husband." _Wait, what? _What was that for? Kurt hated that expression! Then he noticed Edna looking at him with a gentle smile, and slowly felt himself relaxing. What was he so nervous about? It was _just_ Sebastian. And a woman who truly loved him, so Sebastian wouldn't go as far as to misbehave himself… or would he? He didn't count on Maggie being her impertinent self, though.

"You keep saying that, Pillsbury, but you behave like a friend even when you think you're not" added Maggie, no harshness in her voice. Just commenting. But _God_, _could she stop commenting!_

"How come?" asked Sebastian, playing the disinterested. _Just kill me already_, Kurt prayed to a God he didn't believe in.

"Kurtie here was defending your good name just a moment ago, you missed it by a minute, _Bas_" Maggie sounded so cheerful that Kurt felt real violent. _Defending the meerkat's good name, argh_.

"Is that so, _Kurtie_?" Sebastian mocked him, playfully moving his hand to touch Kurt's arm, to which Kurt responded widening his eyes in shock and putting his arm away discreetly.

"Don't flatter yourself, _Bas_" Kurt narrowed his eyes, trying hard to mentally wipe out that annoying smirk playing on Sebastian's face. "I merely confirmed that Edna's continuous praises about your skills aren't completely… unfounded – for _Edna_'s good name' sake, not yours."

"Jesus Christ… _not completely unfounded_" Sebastian repeated, incredulous. "I'm actually offended at that, Hummel" Sebastian said, almost unpleased.

"Why?" asked Kurt, a little surprised. Was Sebastian actually expecting Kurt to compliment him or what? "Your ego is spoiled enough so don't-" Kurt stopped as he locked eyes with Edna, suddenly remembering that he was not alone with Sebastian. _Ups. Very bad timing to make a reappearance, bitchiness_.

"My God, Hummel… You're losing it" Sebastian quickly followed, playing the disappointed. "I wasn't asking for a compliment, you misfit, but for your _actual_ opinion about my performing skills; which is far from good, I'm sure" he chuckled, staring at Kurt with disbelief.

Then Kurt realised. Sebastian was actually waiting for Kurt to slash him. To criticize him. Sebastian was waiting for bitchy-Kurt. _Oh wow_.

"Are you serious?" Kurt asked without thinking, but didn't wait for a reply "That was my actual opinion about your performing, Sebastian" Kurt stated. "If you insist, though, I can gladly express my poor opinion about your persona" Kurt tried to smirk but ended up giving a generous smile.

One thing not many people knew was that Kurt had really been struggling to keep his bitchiness at bay since junior year, and there was a reason: he _really_ didn't like his bitchy side. And it kind of saddened him that somebody would expect him to sharpen his claws like that. Even if that somebody was _Sebastian_. Was that what he wanted people to remember him for?

Both Edna and Maggie chuckled, amused, contemplating the exchange of sharp remarks between the two boys, being the audience for a change.

Sebastian opened his mouth to respond, but then no sound escaped it. Kurt could tell Sebastian didn't know how to proceed with the new and non-bitchy Kurt, and, to be honest, neither did himself. As far as Kurt could remember, he had always been hostile towards Sebastian out of instinct. He shivered at the realisation: back in high school, whenever he saw Sebastian's smirk, Kurt got defensive but rose and prepared for the fight. Now he just felt… uneasy. Like, _really_ uneasy.

"Well… I guess I must thank you, then" Sebastian _finally _said after what it felt like the longest pause in history ever. "Ahem-" Sebastian cleared his throat, "-thank you for defending my virtue, ladyface" Sebastian winked.

"Bastian!" Edna exclaimed with disapproval, slapping softly her grandchild's hand. "Where are your manners, sweetheart?" she rolled her eyes at him, then approached Kurt. "Don't mind his sharp tongue, Kurtie. There's a heart full of will and love, somewhere underneath the rudeness" she said fondly.

Now it was Kurt's turn to roll his eyes. He did that much but realised fastly that he was being cynical to Edna. _Damn meerkat, bringing up the worst in me_. "If you say so, Edna" he offered, then stood up. "Well, lady Mag, lady Ed" Kurt acknowledged them to say his goodbyes and turned to Sebastian, considering, and finally decided for: "Meerkat".

"Gayface" Sebastian answered right back grinning like a child who's finally been given a ball to play with.

"Thanks for the delightful meal, my dears" Kurt said happily, feeling at ease for the first time since Sebastian's arrival, "but I must leave you now, if I want to keep my job at the diner… well, _want_ is a strong word-"

"Damn right it is" Sebastian said suggestively. Kurt just rolled his eyes again. _Does he feel the pathological need to comment on every possible innuendo? _

"Bastian, manners!" Edna tried again, betrayed by her own smile. "Kurtie, Sebastian is gonna make it up to you" she stated with authority, making both Sebastian and Kurt narrow their eyes in disbelief. "_Bas_, be a dear and give Kurt a lift, won't you?" she demanded and pretended not to hear her grandchild's snort. "Kurt, Sebastian owns a car and won't mind giving you a ride."

"Oh, but I'd very much mind giving ladyface _a ride_, grandma…" he protested, amused. _Yes, it is pathological_, Kurt thought.

"It's perfectly fine, Edna. I wouldn't want to risk it and catch something…" Kurt rejected back, giving a crap about manners anymore.

Edna pretended not to notice. "Nonsense, dear. He is driving you and that's final" she stated. Kurt gulped down. Sebastian stood up casually, not nearly as annoyed as Kurt, and looked at him expectantly, as if giving Kurt a lift was everyday business.

" 'Kay then…" Kurt finally conceded, trying not to sound too suspicious.

Sebastian said his goodbyes and caught up with Kurt right at the front door of the nursing centre, grabbing the handle before Kurt could do so, and holding out the door for him.

"Thanks" Kurt mumbled awkwardly.

"Ladies first" Sebastian smiled.

/

Kurt followed Sebastian to a narrow alley, minding his own footsteps and trying not to get disturbed by the immaculate silence they had found themselves immersed in. They reached Sebastian's car, a pretty stunning black Volvo, and got in.

"What happened to you, Hummel?" Sebastian turned around on his seat and stared at Kurt, eyes scrutinising eyes. Kurt stared back at him, eyes wide and hands still trying to fasten his seatbelt. Sebastian frowned at the boy's obvious struggle and said: "Here, let me… it can get stuck sometimes-"

Sebastian tried to grab it but ended up placing his fingers around Kurt's when the boy wouldn't move his hands away. Kurt, of course, had been taken off guard by Sebastian's fast move. Sebastian looked up at Kurt, finding himself unable to move his own fingers now that they were awkwardly and unexpectedly brushing Kurt's. Then Kurt came back to his senses and snatched his own hands away. Sebastian resumed his fight with the seatbelt "… there".

Kurt witnessed the fight while trying to calm his very heavy breathing. Sebastian did have beautiful hands – not that Kurt had noticed, _not at all_. Then Kurt realised Sebastian's work was done but his hands remained still. "Thanks…" Kurt said coyly, but forced himself to look back at Sebastian, hoping the boy would react and do _something_, anything, to stop the awkwardness from becoming louder.

It worked, because Sebastian's eyes tingled and the boy rapidly placed his hands on the wheel. "You're welcome" he said, not looking at Kurt and starting the car.

Then Kurt remembered. "What do you mean 'what happened to me'?" he couldn't stop himself from asking. Sebastian smirked and looked more like himself again.

"I meant exactly that, Hummel" he simply replied, aware of the irritation that this answer would gain him from Kurt.

Kurt snorted, annoyed indeed. "Well, would you mind being a little more specific?"

Sebastian chuckled and Kurt's irritation only grew further "I swear to God, it'd appear as if you actually _enjoyed_ annoying me."

Sebastian casted him an amused smile, eyes not completely able to leave the road, since he was driving now. "Of course I do, gayface, what do you find so surprising?" Then headded: "This is how we work, _Betty_" Kurt made a disgusted face at the nickname, but Sebastian ignored it, "or, at least we used to" he commented.

"Wow, that's a very dysmorphic way of looking at it, Sebastian. May I remind you, it was _you_ who'd like to hit me with your snarkiest comment, and then I'd simply bite _back_ out of instinct and defence".

"Oh, come on!" Sebastian disagreed, "you enjoyed being hurtful just as much as I did!" he pushed, but he didn't actually look offended, just playful. "Just admit it, you'll feel better, Kurt" Sebastian said, patronizing him.

"_Kurt_" Kurt repeated "–wow, that must be a first".

"Well, that's your name, isn't it?" Sebastian asked, tone full of sarcasm.

"I think I'd prefer you to keep it up with the nicknames… you somehow manage to make my name sound dirty in that filthy mouth of yours" Kurt stormed out.

Sebastian rolled his eyes at him.

"And _enjoy_ is also a _strong_ word" Kurt continued, gaining a new smirk from Sebastian. "Oh, come on, would you stop it with the quest of hidden double meanings? You're not as funny as you think you are" he said, "in fact, you're just childish". Kurt folded his arms, feeling childish himself. _Stop it, Hummel_.

Sebastian laughed and that exasperated Kurt even more. "Well, I'll take it back, Kurtie. Seems like you didn't lose your superbitchy powers completely" Sebastian conceded, and Kurt felt slightly guilty again. "I was starting to be genuinely concerned, you know? So", a pause, "good to know" Sebastian tried to pull off a concerned look, but, as usual, ended up just chuckling.

"Oh, _that's_ what you meant before" Kurt realised, "that's why you keep expecting me to be harsh on you, isn't it?" Kurt's tone wasn't harsh this time, but regretful.

"Well, I'm just curious. You're… I don't know, you've changed" Sebastian commented, frankly.

"Of course I've changed. Everybody does change, you know? People grow up" Kurt looked taken aback. "Don't try to make it sound like it's a bad thing, because… well, it's not" he presented his case.

Sebastian rolled his eyes at him, again, looking tired. "I know that, gayface. But not necessarily every change is for the best".

Kurt actually stopped and wondered, then asked.

"What are you implying?" Kurt narrowed his eyes at him.

"You're boring now" Sebastian simply said. It didn't matter how many insults and nicknames Kurt had been thrown at all his life… being boring was the worst thing he could think of.

"_Boring_" he repeated, concern readable all over his eyes.

Sebastian chuckled. "Jeez, calm down. This is what I'm talking about! Two years ago, you would have dismissed every single one of my harsh comments by biting back twice as harsh." Sebastian's words had no malice; they boy was simply trying to speak his mind, and Kurt noticed that. "Now you just… believed _me_ and let my idiotic comment sink in." Sebastian noticed Kurt staring at him with attention, so he added: "That's not boring, that's just…"

"Weak" Kurt completed the sentence for him, looking away.

Sebastian looked regretful. "That's not what I was gonna say, Kurt. I don't think you're weak" he assured him. _Weird_. But that made Kurt look at him again. "I just think you're restraining yourself so much from letting this harsh side of you show, that it's– well, it just looks like it pains you" Sebastian laughed.

Kurt felt less uneasy now. He might be losing his mind, but for a moment there, he was pretty sure that Sebastian was trying to make him feel better.

But he had never thought it that way; like letting that harsh side of him go would somehow turn out to be bad for him. He decided that it simply made no sense, since his choice had actually been about being a better person. How could 'being a better person' actually... hurt him? Sure, it'd been hard sometimes to repress himself, but it didn't _pain_ him, _come on!_ Or did it?

"Ha" Kurt's mouth let slip. It was not a laugh, just an appreciation. "_Pains_ me…" Kurt rolled his eyes. "It's a choice, Sebastian, of course it doesn't pain me" Kurt stated like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So you choose to be this boring?" Sebastian faked concerned, but casted Kurt an amused smile.

"Are you actually disappointed?" Kurt asked ironically and chuckled. But he meant it – it seemed like Sebastian _wanted_ Kurt to be his old self. He wondered, amused: "You're saying you'd like me better otherwise?" it was out before Kurt could realised it. He had gone as far as actually being playful himself. And it felt… _good_.

"Touché, _princess_" Sebastian winked, and Kurt felt something inside him moving, really, really alive. He blamed it on the sour tea-biscuits. Sebastian changed the subject: "Okay, Fifth Avenue with…?"

Kurt suddenly felt like being ran over by a truck. "CRAP, we missed the street" Kurt panicked, then checked the time on his mobile phone. "_Goddammit_, meerkat, you distracted me!" he accused him, gaining a confused and defensive glare from Sebastian.

"Calm down, ladypants! Jeez. I know _I'm distracting_, babe, but don't take it out on me – I can't help my hotness" he said amused. Kurt slapped his shoulder.

"You idiot! If I'm as much as 10 minutes late, I'm not getting paid that first hour, you understand that?" he stopped himself from adding _rich boy_, and then wondered why. Sebastian obviously prefered him to be _himself_… but did Kurt prefer that too? _Being himself_. Kurt winced at the thought. Did that mean he wasn't usually himself?

Sebastian seemed to take in Kurt's anxiety, because he moved his right hand from the wheel and briefly squeezed Kurt's knee. "Relax" Kurt shivered, unable to stop that _merely physical_ reaction. "I'll talk to your boss, explain we had a car accident, whatever" he said, but Kurt still looked seriously anxious. "Or I'll grant you the biggest tip ever, okay? Just relax, you're freaking me out!"

"Oh, _you_ are the one freaking out here?" Kurt asked sarcastically. "Sweet Gaga, help me bare this cross" he looked up at the sky, dramatically.

"Ahem" Sebastian cleared his throat, faking disturbance. "I don't even know where to start…" he continued, "Gaga is still alive and… well, that was– you're just a weirdo" he laughed.

Kurt smiled a bit, amused. The streetlight went red.

"Drop me here. I'll walk - it's not that far" Kurt prepared himself to leave, looking for a way to open the damn door.

"Here, miss" Sebastian put an arm over Kurt's chest, reaching for the door handle and grabbing it. Sebastian's arm felt heavy on Kurt's chest, and Kurt felt his lungs being slightly oppressed at the _touch_, but said nothing.

"Well, it was lov-" Sebastian started, but some car's horn interrupted him. He opened his mouth again, but then heard the annoying noise again. He sighed, exasperated. "I fucking hate this city sometimes" he said harshly. "See you around, Hummel".

"Yeah, mmh… thanks for the ride" Kurt smiled coyly, and opened the door.

"_Anytime_" Sebastian smirked suggestively, just so Kurt could rolled his eyes at him.

"_Jerk_" Kurt said and slammed the door shut.

/

Kurt needed the walk. He knew the right thing to do was to dive into work 4 hours straight, so he couldn't grant his mind as much as a spair minute to go wandering off. He couldn't bring himself to do it, though.

_Wandering about Sebastian_, he thought... and grimaced. To be completely honest, Kurt had never given Sebastian a second thought when he had first met him two years ago. Truth was... Kurt used to think that he had the boy all figured out: more likely, just another rich boy whose parents ignored and therefore he took it out on being a _total bitch _and a manwhore. Kurt had never bothered to find out for real, though. He had just assumed the worst and taken it for sacred truth.

_That was two years ago_, he thought, trying not to hate himself over nothing. _I don't do that anymore... do I? _Then he remembered about Elliot Starchild. About the way he had intended to dismiss the talented boy that had actually turned out to be a real friend.

_Let's get real_, Kurt demanded himself. _Sebastian's poor actions spoke for himself back then_. There was no way to deny that, and Kurt wanted to be absolutely fair. And, for a minute, he sticked to that, feeling even silly for having thought any differently.

But then he saw _it_, right in front of him: this big, grey, old wall full of graffiti. Every day he'd walk right by this wall and simply look at it, rather than read any of the graffiti. Today Kurt noticed one of them, slightly bigger than the others, and more coherent... then he realised it was a quote:

"When you judge others, you do not define them, you define yourself" - Earl Nightingale.


	4. Chapter 4

Ups… So I ended up doing an angsty chapter. Sorry for that! Angst is not my thing, not at all. But I think, in this case, it was necessary. It's very unlikely to happen often, I promise :)

Again, thank you for reviewing ^^

Ps. I don't own glee! I wish.

* * *

Kurt was feeling a little frantic these days. The nursing centre had brought Sebastian back into his life – and, along with the former Warbler, some identity issues Kurt used to have under control had made a comeback too.

Sebastian had stated it: _"You've changed… You're boring now_". Sebastian's words had merely planted the seed, but Kurt could see it now: at first, he had been so sure of having changed for the better… Now he realised that, in his desperate and abnegated attempt to change some parts of himself, he had also been letting go of some others parts _unintentionally_. Needless to say, realising he hadn't been in control of which parts he was losing, was making Kurt a little anxious.

The worst part was feeling unable to share any of that with his friends, or even his fiancé. How would they react if they knew Kurt was going through an identity crisis because of something Sebastian had said? Just because of two random meetings! Oh, and here was the top of the cake: if Sebastian's words were having such an impact on Kurt, maybe that meant he had judged Sebastian prematurely back in the day.

A few days passed and this endless monologue was all Kurt could think of. So he made a resolution: the new and improved Kurt Hummel was done with assuming or guessing. Therefore he only had two options left: forget the hell about it, or find out for real.

One afternoon at Elliot's, the eclectic boy caught Kurt completely spaced out:

"… and you're not listening to a word I'm saying, huh?" Elliot asked him, more amused than upset.

Kurt simply heard the tone and guessed Elliot was asking for reassurance to continue on his rant about Freddie Mercury's last days. "Yeah, I know what you mean" he said, then kept on minding his own thoughts.

"Got ya!" Elliot accused him, and stood up laughing, walking to the kitchen.

"Oh… hey, wait! Where are you going?" Kurt stood up himself and started apologising. "I'm sorry Elliot, I did that again, didn't I?" he asked innocently, but looked full of regret. Elliot chuckled and patted his back.

"It's okay, Kurt. I'm just gonna grab a couple of beers… sounds like a plan to you?" Elliot asked kindly.

Kurt pondered it. While a beer might not be his go-to drink, it was still a drink, and _boy_, could he use a drink. "Well it does, kind sir" Kurt conceded.

Elliot made it back from the kitchen and passed Kurt a bottle. He hardly ever drank beer and, for a moment, Kurt didn't think he remembered what having the cold liquid going down his throat felt like. He took a sip and was surprised to feel _wonderful_. Wow, he didn't even remember beer making him feel _that _good.

It was probably a stupid association, but he had always linked beer with his dad and Finn, and sangria with Carole and himself. Then Kurt realised he was looking up, as if thinking there was a way his late step-brother could be watching him right now, either from "heaven" of from some odd spiritual dimension. He smiled and said:

"Cheers, buddy" and took a sip again, taking appreciation of the taste instead of making a disgusted face like he used to.

Elliot witnessed the toast but simply nodded and took a sip himself – he could tell Kurt was not toasting with him, so he let the boy have his moment.

"So… you wanna talk about it?" Elliot waited for a response, but seeing that Kurt's mouth remained still, he added: "Aren't things going better with Blaine?" Elliot asked, voice full of caution.

Kurt was surprised to hear this. "What-? No!" he answered, looking quite certain, but then remembered his opening night, and got tense. "I mean… Ah, I don't even know anymore, Elliot" he said frankly, then added, "I think we are stuck, but it might be just me" Kurt confessed.

"Meaning that… you don't think Blaine has realised it yet, or that it might be just you the one who's feeling stuck?" Elliot inquired. Kurt had to give it to him, the boy was perceptive.

"Ha" Kurt took the question in. "You're good, Elliot Starchild, you're good" Kurt admitted.

Elliot rolled his eyes at him. "Well, you'd think after all these months I might be starting to know you, right?" he smiled.

"I wouldn't think less" Kurt conceded, returning the smile. Then considered his next words "I don't know" Kurt said. "It might be both, you know? Blaine being on denial and me being… unable to do anything about it" Kurt felt incredibly sad, sadder than he had felt in weeks, actually. "Anyway, I don't think there's any use in discussing this, to be honest. That's not what I wanted to talk about, actually" Kurt quickly changed the subject, and he wasn't sure why: the truth was he had been distracted that afternoon because of _Sebastian_, not _Blaine_, but he also didn't want to talk about Blaine – like, at all. It was getting tiring, and old.

"Okay" Elliot said, unsure. "If you don't want to talk about Blaine right now, that's fine, Kurt" he assured him. "But please, do me a favour?" Elliot asked, looking concerned. "Talk to someone else. Don't bottle it up and avoid the issue… that'll be worse, trust me."

Kurt took notice of Elliot's concern and felt a little guilty. He took his advice and made a mental note to talk about Blaine eventually, no matter the effort.

"Noted" Kurt said, "I will". Then took another sip to help himself carry on. "Okay, so there's this" he paused, unsure, "_thing_ I've had on my mind lately, and it's been driving me a little nuts, really, it has been" he gulped down. "Okay, so I'm just gonna ask you…" Kurt was feeling quite vulnerable. "You think I'm too judgmental?" There, it was out. "Please, be honest" Kurt ended.

Elliot looked taken aback. "I mean…" he paused. "You did prejudge me quite fast, that's true…" Elliot mused. "But I can't conclude from my case that you're always like that… can I?"

Kurt could notice that the boy in front of him was trying to be gentle. He chuckled. "You can say it: I was a total bitch to you when you first auditioned for our band." They both laughed for a moment.

Kurt continued. "Actually, that's the thing, see… I'm realising just now that I'm _always_ like that, and it's just so…" Kurt felt exasperated. "Oh my, it's so freaking _exhausting_ to have _yet another _thing to add to the pile of stuff I have to work on, you know?" Kurt looked exhausted indeed. "It's not nice realising you're not who you think you are, or… worse, who you're trying to be, 'cause, right now?" Kurt took another sip. "… I'm not sure I even know who I am anymore" he ended the rant, and feared having said too much. _Where is this coming from? _Kurt wondered.

"Kurt, I'm not sure anybody ever knows who they are" Elliot explained, trying to soothe him. "That's like… a lifelong quest, so you can't let it hover you like that. It's pointless" Elliot said, but then tried not to be so cynical. "What I'm saying is that you need to slow down a bit, and take it easy. You don't know who you are and that's perfectly fine. I don't think we are nothing but what we desperately try to be".

"Wow…" Kurt mused. "That makes sense" he could feel himself relaxing a little.

Elliot continued. "And also-, well, about what I just said, I don't think that's a personal opinion of mine. I think that's just, like, universal" he smiled, "but I do believe – like, being totally subjective now, okay? That you need to redefine what 'working on yourself' implies" Elliot suggested.

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked, vulnerability creeping up his chest again.

"That I do like your perseverance, Kurt; this aim you have of constantly trying to be better? It's like – unreal" Elliot smiled, then continued. "But you need to remember that, well, life is also about accepting yourself for who you are… and your flaws are a part of it" Elliot said.

Kurt wondered. "You're saying I should not try to fight my flaws?" Kurt hesitated, realising this statement was in conflict with everything he had worked on for the last three years. He panicked a little at the thought.

"It's not a bad thing. Especially since your flaws have nothing to do with being a horrible person or a serial killer, you know?" Elliot chuckled. "Your flaws are just… so human, Kurt. Keep them. We can all be a little judgmental sometimes."

"When the hell did you get this wise? I'm at awe here!" Kurt smiled kindly, mesmerised by all the considerations he had to take in. He had been looking at the picture from the wrong angle all along! "Wow. I've been clueless, haven't I?" Kurt realised.

"No, you've just been blinded by your own good nature" Elliot chuckled.

"Well, maybe it's time for my instincts to show, then" Kurt said, thinking back about Sebastian's words the other day. Sebastian's way to put it had been somehow rougher, more direct and self-explanatory, but ultimately the boy had meant the same.

"May I ask what had you thinking about all of this? I mean, what triggered it?" Elliot's curiosity made an appearance.

_Not what, but who_, Kurt thought, surprised enough himself. "I came across an old acquaintance of mine" Kurt explained, "and I found him quite changed. So… either I rushed to judge him on the past, or he's changed so much that I'd even consider aliens abduction and subsequent brain transplant" Kurt joked.

"Could be both" Elliot offered, amused.

/

The rest of the week went by smoothly. After that conversation at Elliot's, something had clicked inside Kurt, and it was like a long time missed piece of him had been put back into place. At least, that's how it felt at first.

Then… life happened. And life had this tendency of putting everyone in his place, even if they didn't want to. Kurt remembered that quote about people being creatures of habit, and realised he had this habit of being obliging way too deepened on his skin.

Somehow, behaving any differently that he'd been doing for ages turned out to be extremely hard. It felt _wrong_, and Kurt was really saddened to realise how wrong _being himself_ felt.

The following week, the smoothness was nowhere to be seen. And all the _clicks_ on Kurt's brain had started to vanish.

"Blaine… you'd say I've changed?" Kurt asked out of nothing one Wednesday while they were having lunch on the NYADA facilities. He caught Blaine with a mouth full of ravioli staring at him confused. "I mean, over the years" Kurt added. "You'd say I'm different now from how I was when we first started dating?" Kurt explained.

Blaine swallowed his food. "Yeah. Absolutely" he simply answered, then went for another full spoon.

It disturbed Kurt. The calmed way his boyfriend had stated it. Kurt was not the same person he was when they first fell in love and that was… all right? No _biggie_?

"That doesn't unsettle you?" Kurt asked, astonished. How could Blaine keep on loving him if he wasn't the same?

"What?- No!" Blaine swallowed violently to give Kurt a reply and had to cough hard. "Whatever you're thinking, I didn't mean it that way" he rushed to add.

_Of course_, Kurt thought. _God forbid Blaine might say something unsettling_. "I know I've changed, Blaine" Kurt stated, looking away. How could Blaine stand it? Didn't Blaine miss the person he fell in love with? Kurt felt almost guilty for having deprived Blaine of that person for so long.

"Kurt" Blaine looked almost touched, and that made Kurt felt somehow patronised. "You've changed for the better" he said then, and Kurt widened his eyes in shock.

"What?" that wasn't what Kurt wanted to hear. Granted, he wasn't entirely sure of what he wanted to hear. But it wasn't _that_. That couldn't be right. How could Blaine say that?

"I mean it, Kurt. You're this wonderfully kind person now. A good friend to your friends, a good boyfriend to me" Blaine smiled, indulging. Kurt could tell his boyfriend thought _that_ was what Kurt wanted to hear.

Kurt couldn't bring himself to smile back. In fact, he very much wanted to cry. "You're saying this- _person _I am now, it's _better_… for the others?" he finally asked, hoping to have misunderstood his fiancé completely.

"Yeah" Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand. Kurt couldn't take it.

"But what about me? It doesn't matter if it's not better for me?" Kurt snapped, angry now.

"Why wouldn't it better for you, Kurt?" Blaine asked truly. He was obviously not following Kurt's thought process. "You're much nicer now, much gentler, much more… peaceful" Blaine kept telling him, but Kurt would not have it, so he cut Blaine.

"Unbelievable" Kurt stood up. "You realise what you're saying, Blaine?" Kurt demanded, but didn't wait for an answer. "You're saying, for starters, that you couldn't care less that I'm not the same person you fell in love with. What's more, that the person I originally was, somehow wasn't gentle enough, or good enough - nor for you, nor for my friends" Kurt gulped down violently, angry as he could feel some tears making his way down his cheeks. _Dammit, not now! I'm not trying to be a drama queen now!_ "But the _worst_ part is, that I don't matter. Not at all. What matters is how I behave towards you, or my friends." Kurt gathered his stuff. "Well, congratulations: you've turned me into a domesticated and obliging cat, isn't that just _great_?" he remarked with irony, and didn't grant his boyfriend a second to interrupt him.

Blaine was witnessing the whole storm out with terror, trying to grab Kurt hands every time the boy took them away. "I'm everything you wanted me to be right from the very moment we met at Dalton: less loud, less noticeable, less bitchy, less… Less _me_! – _I_ didn't changed, Blaine Anderson, _you_ changed me!" he screamed now, and he felt indeed like a drama queen. Thank God they were alone and no students were to be seen.

Blaine looked terrified of him, unable to make the slightest move or sound. Kurt immediately regretted his actions. Why had he taken it out on his fiancé? His lover, his partner? Kurt had blamed Blaine for everything that was wrong with him lately, for this identity crisis he was going through. That wasn't fair.

Kurt dropped his things and immediately went for a hug with Blaine, who was crying now. He didn't remember feeling more miserable in his life.

"I'm so sorry, Blaine. I'm so sorry" he sobbed, loud, desperate, trying to grab the smaller boy with all his strengths, a boy that felt smaller on his arms than he had ever felt. Kurt realised _he _had been the one to make Blaine feel that small.

Blaine felt overwhelmed by the whole scene, in a bad way, mostly, but he returned the hug anyway. "Shh, it's okay, Kurt" Blaine said and hugged him tight, with everything he had. "Just let it out" he said. And Kurt did just that.

/

"Some parts of it you meant, right?" Blaine asked Kurt with so much crudeness that Kurt felt unable to lie. Would lying make things better? They had come so far now…

After Kurt's big scene, the two boys had decided that a serious conversation was in order, so they were now at Kurt's apartment. It felt cathartic, but also… dangerous. Kurt didn't even know what he wanted to say – and kept fearing to make another dramatic speech again.

"Blaine, don't…" Kurt started, but then saw the look on his boyfriend's eyes. It said Blaine knew. There was no use to mislead him. "I guess" Kurt sighed.

"May I ask you…" Blaine was extremely serious, and that was making Kurt freak out. "How long have you felt this way? Like, I don't know, like I've turned you into… this person you dislike so much?" the boy asked with utter honesty.

Kurt felt miserable again. "I meant some parts of it, Blaine, but not that one" he said. But Kurt knew that wasn't enough, so he continued. "That was… so selfish of me, I'm sorry. I blamed you for every conscious choice of character I've made and… I'm the one in charge of myself. If I'm a mess… then there's no one else to blame but…" Kurt stopped, feeling a sob coming.

"Kurt… I'm not gonna take the blame for the decisions you regret, I agree with that" Blaine said. "But all these _changes_ you're talking about… I mean, maybe I was the one to plant the… maybe our relationship made you think you needed to change – ah, I don't even know" Blaine hold his head on his hands, looking down.

"Okay, if we're being completely honest… and I want us to be honest, because I don't want this conversation to _ever_ happen again" Kurt said, "then yes. I can't deny that. I always felt, from the start, like – if I wanted this relationship to work, I'd have to make some major changes" Kurt continued. "I think it all started back at the Warblers".

"Oh" Blaine brought his head up and stared at Kurt. "Kurt! All those tips and directions I gave you… they were only for performing!" Blaine looked terrified. "I- I never thought you'd take it personally".

Kurt took a deep breath. That sounded dishonest to him. But Blaine had the right to believe that. "I know you think you were simply talking about performing, but I was a teenager, Blaine" he paused. "It didn't feel that way… you must understand, well, that I was head over heels with you – like, so crazy" Kurt chuckled. "How could I not take it to heart? I wanted to impress you so bad" Kurt smiled, but Blaine's eyes were nothing but amused.

"You're… I don't think you realise, Kurt, but you keep using the past tense and it's freaking me out" Blaine eyes looked watery.

Kurt had not realised that, and he suddenly felt overwhelmed. He could not find it in him to try and console Blaine. Kurt was freaking out too.

"I mean… earlier, you also kept saying "when we fell in love" and… I don't get it. I still fall for you" Blaine explained. "I didn't know that feeling was in the past for you" Blaine added in a weak tone.

"I think you're reading too much into my words" Kurt said, but it didn't sound as certain as he had wanted it to sound.

"Yeah… I don't know about that" Blaine stood up. "God, I knew we were not doing well lately, you know? That I've been clingy, that you were having a hard time letting me into your life in New York… But _this_, Kurt, this is… This is not how two lovers should feel".

Kurt could not respond. He agreed with Blaine, but didn't have the guts to say it aloud. Blaine stared at him, looking for something on his eyes, but then grabbed his stuff and left.


	5. Chapter 5

Thank you for reading ^^ I don't own glee!

* * *

It'd been almost two weeks since Kurt's last visit to the Lexington Home, and four long days since he had last seen or spoken to Blaine.

Kurt could not say where they stood now, but… _Come on! Broken up? That sounds way too dramatic... right?_ He kept repeating himself.

On the fifth day of the silence treatment Kurt's anxiety was reaching its highest. Why he kept expecting Blaine to approach him, Kurt didn't know. He figured Blaine would come around – after all, it'd been Blaine the one to storm out the apartment.

Blaine's attendance to NYADA remained a mystery. Kurt had not come across him even once. Granted, they didn't have any common subject this semester. But come on! The boy had to eat, or use the bathroom… didn't he?

But even if Kurt had caught him between classes, he would've not known what to do. So, in a way, he was actually relieved.

On the sixth day, Kurt was making his way towards the nursing centre when he spotted Sebastian at the front door of Lexington. He approached Sebastian's back, but then realised the boy was on the phone.

"… I know, handsome, but I'm not in Manhattan right this moment" Sebastian said. Kurt knew he should walk away, not listen to people's private conversations and all that things… But somehow he was feeling unable to move his feet. "You know what? I don't think I like them so clingy" Sebastian said harshly, irritated. "Good. See you then" he hung up.

Sebastian turned around to see Kurt staring right at him, which made Kurt blushed hard.

"We're eavesdropping now" Sebastian observed, amused. That made Kurt snapped.

"God, you're so full of yourself. I simply got here right now" Kurt bit back, more annoyed at himself for his nosiness and blushing than at the other boy's remark.

"Sure, sure…" Sebastian dismissed Kurt like he was dealing with a little kid. "So Kurt, let me ask you something" Sebastian's smirk was on. "See, I know why I am here. But what is this weird fetish you have with old people?" Sebastian asked, faking intrigue.

"You asshole!" Kurt mind-slapped Sebastian, and casted him a bitchy glare. "I'm not a fetishist!" he protested. "These old people, as you like to call them, happen to be my friends." Kurt realised that wasn't helping. And blushed a little further. Sebastian was chuckling. "I mean, not like _my only _friends. You know I have more friends, so you know that's not wha-"

Sebastian was laughing. "Aren't you sweet. Well, go make some friends" Sebastian smirked, and turned around to leave, but then thought it better. "And for your information, Hummel, there's nothing wrong with being a fetishist" he stared at Kurt seriously, but amused, something only Sebastian managed to pull off in a single facial expression (Kurt had noticed this with jealousy… he wanted to be an actor, after all!). "It just depends on the fetish, of course" Sebastian smiled suggestively.

Kurt felt patronised. He suddenly remembered the time Sebastian ordered him a Shirley Temple on Scandals and got furious. He was not a prude. "Right, you'd know about that, right meerkat?" Kurt asked sarcastically. "I see some things do not change" he stated with malice, thinking about the phone call he'd just listened. "Go attend your booty call".

Sebastian kept smirking at Kurt, but took a step towards him. _Here we go again with the personal space issue_, Kurt thought. "Damn right I know" Sebastian stated, a little more serious now. "You're free to repress yourself and I'm free to do otherwise. Judge all you want" Sebastian smiled, but didn't look so kind or genuine this time. Then he turned around again and started walking.

That hit a nerve on Kurt. Judging. Sebastian. Again.

"Sebastian, wait!" Kurt shouted. "I didn't mean to judge you!" Kurt found himself saying before he could realised it. That made Sebastian cast him a confused look. Kurt approached him. "Really, I…" Kurt rubbed his own forehead. "God, Sebastian, you make it _so _hard for me to be nice to you…" he admitted, exhausted.

Sebastian regarded the other boy for a moment. "God, you're embarrassing, Hummel" he finally said, pretending to feel awkward. Kurt looked up, annoyed at first, but then realised Sebastian was joking. It helped, because Kurt relaxed a little, and found himself smiling.

"I know, right?" Kurt conceded. "But you can't be surprised" he joked himself. "After all, you've seen me perform in a harness pretending to be some cross between Madonna and Peter Pan. _Plus!_ Surrounded by elderly people" Kurt chuckled.

Sebastian laughed. "Well, I wouldn't exactly catalogue that as embarrassing" Sebastian faked doubting. "Mmh, maybe it'd fit better in the _hot_ stuff catalogue" Sebastian bluntly admitted, smirk never off.

Sebastian looked serious and that sent a chill down Kurt's spine. _Hot_. Sebastian thought Kurt looked _hot_ on the harness. Was he hallucinating?

"Oh! Good one" Kurt finally said, deciding Sebastian was still joking. He had to be. "I almost believed that" Kurt laughed.

Sebastian looked uncertain. "Wow, Hummel. Just… wow" Sebastian stopped himself from chuckling. "I mean – I knew you were restrained, but are you actually _that_ restrained that you didn't realise it was a compliment?" Sebastian asked, intrigued, and took yet another step closer.

Kurt's saliva got thick and stuck on his throat. He definitely didn't see that coming. "Oh" he simply repeated, and felt dumb enough. They stared at each other for a second, then Kurt regained himself. "Well, it's not every day that I got to hear a compliment from Sebastian Smythe himself" Kurt tried to crack a joke, awkwardly. "Can't blame me for that" he looked down. _God, what am I, five?_ Then forced himself to keep the eye contact.

Sebastian's eyes got dark with resolution, or so read Kurt. "I always speak up my mind, _Kurt_" the boy paused, getting slightly closer. "For the better, or for the worse…" Kurt gulped down, trying to get rid of that annoying nod on his throat. "… Therefore, if I see rudeness, I acknowledge it" Sebastian stopped, just to make sure he got Kurt's full attention. "And if I see hotness, I do just as much" Sebastian explained, getting dangerously closer now. Kurt could not bring himself to step back, though. "I'm not one to repress myself, but you already know that, don't you?" he asked in a rough low voice that was making Kurt blush again.

Kurt realised he wasn't breathing, and opened his mouth to catch some air. _What the hell is going on?_ He thought. He hadn't felt this arousal in a long time. Hell, he had never felt that arousal because of a voice.

Sebastian was staring right at him, expecting, but Kurt was speechless. He was feeling so nervous that he briefly feared a stroke coming. But Sebastian took a step back, eventually.

"If I say you looked hot on the harness, then you oughta believe me, _Kurt_" Sebastian actually smiled at him. And Kurt felt his insides exploding.

Why was he feeling that way? Had he never been told he was hot? Well, certainly not _that_ way. Sebastian managed to make himself sound unquestionable. It was… sexy, Kurt realised.

"Thank you" Kurt whispered so low that it was almost unnoticeable. He passed a hand through his hair, nervously, but forced himself to return the smile. Smiling at Sebastian made Kurt feel so awkward that he suddenly heard his whole body telling him to run away from there. "So, ahem, I'm just- I'm gonna… go inside" he cleared his throat and took a hold on the front door, to back up his decision.

"All right" Sebastian commented, taking another step back.

"Oh, you're not…? I mean" _Goddammit, Hummel, put your shit together!_ Kurt desperately demanded himself, "you're not coming along?" he managed to formulate.

"I'm leaving, actually" Sebastian's voice and eyes seemed to be normal again. "I just had lunch with my grandma" the boy explained.

"Oh" Kurt said for the fourth time that afternoon but tried not to make a big deal about it. Not right now, at least. "That's sweet" _Sweet? Damn it! _Kurt's nervousness was making him say stupid random things.

Sebastian chuckled. "_Sweet_, right" he rolled his eyes. "Well, you'll have to do without my sweetness" the boy winked, clearly joking. "And without my car."

"Get over yourself" _Finally_, Kurt breathed out, relieved. He was finally feeling at ease. He folded his arms for dramatic effect. "You're actually doing me a favour - you're a terrible driver, meerkat."

"_Ouch_, and here I was thinking we were over the nicknames phase now…" Sebastian smirked. "See you around, _Kurt_" Sebastian replied amused and this time left for good.

There was something wrong with Sebastian calling Kurt by his name. It unsettled him, somehow.

The whole afternoon Kurt had to pretend that he was paying attention to Edna and Maggie. Not that the old ladies would notice, since they talked non-stop, but that didn't make it better. At first, Kurt was actually thankful to have something different to think about for a change, since he had been torturing his brain with images of happier times with Blaine for the last few days. But then he kept realising it was _Sebastian_ he was thinking about, and had to make a huge effort not to freak out.

_I haven't got laid __for weeks_, Kurt thought. _That might be it_.

He would keep telling himself that for days.

/

On the ninth _freaking_ day of Blaine's silence treatment Kurt was losing it.

"You just don't disappear from your fiancé's life! You just don't!" he cried out exasperated to a very silent and freaked out Rachel and Santana. "We didn't break up! We didn't even finish the conversation! This is _insane_!" Kurt stormed out.

"It is" Santana whispered to Rachel, who giggled silently but stood up, then approached Kurt.

"Okay, Kurt, you need to calm down now" Rachel suggested. "I'm starting to be worried about you!" she cried out dramatically when Kurt did nothing but kept on pacing the living room.

"Jeez, you're both so damn dramatic" Santana snapped. The latina girl stood up too and went to grab her phone. "I'm ordering some pizza. You guys in?" she asked, casually.

Rachel looked at her astonished. "Santana!" she told her off. "How can you even think of food? Kurt's going through a crisis here!" the petite girl stated.

Santana rolled her eyes at Rachel and prepared to say something, but then Kurt cut her: "I'm actually a bit hungry, Rach" he said timidly. _Should I not feel hungry when I'm sad?_ He wondered if there was something wrong with him.

"Of course you are, lady Hummel. You've been bitching out non-stop for two hours" Santana actually explained to him.

"I have not done such thing!" Kurt exclaimed, exasperated.

Rachel back him up "Of course you haven't Kurt" she said reassuringly, casting Santana an _'Is there a sensitive bone in your body?' _look. "You've merely poured out your aching heart" Rachel continued and patted his back, making Kurt feel way too dramatic.

"I haven't-" but he couldn't find the strength to pretend. "I'm a drama queen" he realised and collapsed on the sofa. "What am I gonna do? I can't be like that if Blaine finally decides to talk to me again" Kurt told them.

"Finally, someone said it" Santana sighed, and her head got hit with a pillow. She found Rachel glaring at her. "Don't you ever get an eye-ache for that? Really, it looks _exhausting_" Santana emphasised with an attitude. Then looked at Kurt, whose mind seemed to be nowhere near the apartment.

"Kurt" Santana started. "I'm not saying the gnome doesn't have his reasons to ignore you, but enough with the mumbling around!" she exclaimed irritated. "Man up! Go talk to him. Stop waiting! _God_" she sighed again.

"Santana!" Rachel interfered. "Are you deaf? Kurt's said it a hundred times – he doesn't even know what to say to Blaine!"

"Okay, _at some point_ of the two hours speech I had to log off, manhands" Santana casted her a bitchy glare. "No offence, Hummel, but your rants are getting old."

"They are" Kurt agreed, then stood up, "and you're right. I need to man up."

"Or lady up, if you will" Santana winked.

"Whatever" Kurt wasn't in the mood. "I'll know what to say the second I see him" Kurt grabbed his coat and keys.

"Okay then… good luck" Rachel ran towards him and hugged him hard. "Listen to your heart, Kurt. Be brave and don't let anything distract you from your point. Not even his puppy eyes" she said, stroking his hand.

Kurt wondered out loud. "What? Rachel, It's not like I'm gonna dump him" he rolled his eyes.

"You're not?" asked Rachel and Santana simultaneously, then looked at each other with clear disgust. They preferred to disagree.

"What-?! No! What made you think that?" Kurt asked, outraged.

"Emm… you?" Santana asked cautiously. "Have you heard yourself for the last nine days? _God_" she said.

That put a stop to Kurt's nervousness. How come he had implied that? Why did the girls realise, but not him? Was he on denial about his relationship? He grabbed his phone and left, anyway.

/

Kurt phoned Blaine and they agreed to meet at their favourite diner. It was a little and cosy place they used to go when NYADA was too crowded or the Spotlight reminded Kurt too much of work.

They made the typical exchanges: _hello, how you've been, did you read that story on Broadwayworld-dotcom?_ And Kurt was surprised to see how easy it was to get back to normal between the two of them. It was peaceful and it felt like home.

"I've been thinking about the other day" Blaine suddenly said half an hour later, and Kurt knew the unspoken truce was over. "And… I realised that we only talked about how you're feeling" Blaine said. "I don't resent that, really, I think it was necessary. But now I also feel like I need to say how I'm feeling too. I mean, it's only fair, right?" Blaine said, no harshness on his voice or eyes, but sincerity.

Kurt took a long sip of his beer. Funnily enough, beer had suddenly become a recurrent whim of his. "All right. I'm listening" Kurt promised, feeling a little scared of what would come next.

"I think it's safe to say that I've failed to make you happy for a long time, Kurt" Blaine said, and Kurt opened up his mouth to cut him, but Blaine insisted. "But so have you" Blaine added quickly, to Kurt's surprise. Kurt let that sink in. "I'm not trying to hurt you, I'm just… stating the facts" the smaller boy explained. "I don't know how it happened, but we both failed to realise our relationship wasn't healthy."

"Wasn't" Kurt couldn't help but noticed the past tense, and mused it out loud.

"Please, let me finish" Blaine looked like he was doing a great effort to contain his pain, so Kurt decided to remain silent. "Apparently, ever since we first started dating, I made you believe I needed you to change for me. I assure you, Kurt, I've been oblivious to that" Blaine reached his hand over the table to take a hold on Kurt's. "But now, ever since I moved to New York, somehow, I ended up believing you wanted me to change too." Blaine seemed to be astonished. "I mean, how can that be healthy? We've turned into a couple that's done nothing but to try and change each other."

And there it was. The truth. Kurt knew it, and this time he needed to find the guts to agree. Otherwise, all the weight of realisation would lay upon Blaine, and that wasn't fair.

"I… I can't disagree with that" Kurt stated. He stared at Blaine. "I'm so sorry I've been pushing you to change since you came here, Blaine." Kurt looked down. "It's terrible" the boy rubbed his own forehead. "We should've merely accepted that we weren't working anymore."

"I know," Blaine agreed, and continued quickly, "so how about we grant each other some freedom?" Kurt knew what _freedom _meant, but tried to keep a calm face. "Freedom to be ourselves, for a change" Blaine smiled. "I don't want this to be any harder than it needs to be. You're my best friend, and I don't ever want to lose you."

"I don't want to lose you either" Kurt almost sobbed, but he felt like a big, heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

"Then we won't" Blaine smiled.

/

Kurt decided to walk home instead of taking the subway. He knew he was in for an hour of walk, but couldn't care less. He needed the hour in order to get tired, and he needed the air to get colder, so he could start to feel unwell.

_A little fall of rain would be appreciated too_, he thought and looked up, but the sky didn't look even remotely cloudy. _Damn my luck_, he thought bitterly.

He needed the walk home to buy himself some time to start sobbing and crying. Kurt knew he was close to start, but not a single tear threatened to run down his cheek. His eyes were dry and his head was clear. His chest was feeling light, and his lungs seemed to function just fine.

_God, what is wrong with me? Why am I not crying my failed engagement?_ He asked himself, dramatically. Blaine and he were no longer together! And this time, they both knew, it was for good! It was the end of an era! His first love. His first partner. His best friend.

Kurt sighed. He kept walking and reached a street he had always simply walked right by it yet regarded with curiosity. There were three gay bars and all of them were very loud and eye-catching. Blaine and he had often joked about trying those places some time, but they had never dared in the end. Maybe they were both scarred for life because of their night at Scandals.

Then he remembered about him. _Sebastian_. The boy he had conveniently been pushing out of his head lately. He had dedicated him the whole afternoon following their encounter and would not grant him any more time. What was wrong with him? Sebastian was the meerkat. The guy who used to try and steal his boyfriend! _Exboyfriend_, Kurt reminded himself.

_I need another beer_, Kurt thought, and got into the nearest bar without giving it a second thought.


	6. Chapter 6

Thank you for your reviews ^^ they're a happy reward :3

P.S. I don't own Glee.

* * *

Kurt put down his fourth bottle of beer and noticed he still couldn't shake that awful feeling of emptiness. Of disbelonging. He looked around the bar: _I don't fit in here_, he thought. _What am I doing in a bar, alone?_

But every time he asked himself that question, Kurt ended up realising he pretty much had nowhere to be alone with his thoughts. His loft was crowded, and it was 2 a.m. and the streets were a dangerous place to be on your own. At least, in a bar, he was safe… right? Although the awfully loud music was not helping his thinking. Actually, his thinking was getting increasingly depressing.

_I'm a depressed drunk_, he thought and pouted.

"What are you pouting about, fancy?" a random chubby guy asked him. Kurt felt instantly unpleased by the sight and was not sober enough to hide it.

"Mph" Kurt mumbled and turned around looking for the bartender. He better got himself busy before any other _dude_ could approach him.

"Can I buy you a drink, sweet cheeks?" Kurt heard a smooth voice coming from behind, and turned his back to see an attractive blond male, looking slightly younger than him and giving Kurt a pretty contagious smile.

"Well you may, kind sir" Kurt giggled stupidly. But he couldn't care less. "I'm only drinking beer tonight, though."

"Someone's avoiding hard to get loose, huh?" the blond guy asked. Kurt noticed the boy had sit beside him on a stool. Then Kurt realised he was sitting on a stool too. _Weird_, he thought. _I was dancing just a minute ago_.

"Huh, not even close" Kurt answered cheekily. And it was the truth. Kurt was obviously not worried about getting drunk. He very much intended to. "I just appreciate the fine taste of beer" Kurt explained, getting unintentionally closer to the guy, since the stool wasn't exactly steady. The guy didn't seem to mind.

The boy was laughing, Kurt realised, so he laughed along, although he didn't quite know why.

"You're funny, sweet pants" the boy commented.

"And you're not very creative" Kurt replied cockily. "Sweet cheeks? Sweet pants? Come on! I've heard 'em better, you know?" _Gayface, princess, ladyface…_ Kurt mentally listed, thinking briefly about Sebastian.

The guy didn't look offended, but amused. "How about you tell me your name and I don't have to keep making up stupid nicknames?" he smiled suggestively and came closer. But Kurt didn't have the slightest interest in letting the boy know his name.

"Nicknames are fun" Kurt sang-song, then moved aside, as in a retarded reflex for the other boy's advances. "Stick to 'sweet pants'; it's not that bad. My pants tend to be pretty fabulous" Kurt stated, but his interest had got lost on the bartender.

"Chill out, _sweet pants_, I already gave him the order" the boy commented, trying to gain back Kurt's attention. "So… don't you wanna know mine?" the _dummy_ asked.

Kurt snorted. "Sure" he said harshly, then observed the other boy getting a little confused. _Apparently I feel like being bitchy now… _"What's your name, blondie?" Kurt finally asked – he still wanted that free drink!

"It's Andy" the boy whispered on his ear, making Kurt shiver.

The orders came in and Andy grabbed them before Kurt could reach his beer.

"Oh, come on!" Kurt pouted again, not even noticing.

"Shh, we're taking this to the dance floor" the boy said, and used his other hand to grab Kurt by the arm. "_Nice._ You work out, don't you?" he asked, pleased.

Kurt's self-esteem was looking better. "I do, thank-you-very-much" he answered happily. It was nice to have someone notice these things. Kurt was only human, and needed the reward for his work-out hours. "Hey, where are we going?" Kurt asked when they had almost wandered the whole bar. And it was really crowded.

"Here" the guy stopped, taking Kurt to a large group of very good looking males. And they all looked his age. _Interesting_, Kurt thought, beaming. Andy continued: "These are my boys – hey, guys! This is… oh, wait, I still don't know your name-"

"Hummel" a voice coming from the group cut him. And it sent a chill through Kurt, who acknowledged the smooth voice.

"You have some very, very,_ very _badtiming, meerkat" Kurt said exasperated. Wasn't New York supposed to be like… huge?

"Well it's nice to see you too, gayface" Sebastian said, full of sarcasm, and approached Kurt.

"Wait, you guys know each other?" Andy asked, confused, looking between the two boys who had obviously forgotten he was there. "And that's your name, huh? Hummel" the boy concluded, satisfied.

"What?" Kurt asked, irritated. _Seriously, did I get pick up by the dumbest guy on Earth or what?_ "Really? Of all guesses? Would you say that's my name, blondie?" There it was again, the harshness. Kurt's drunk state kept making him oblivious to manners.

"Wow, claws out already, Kurt?" Sebastian smirked, although he sounded surprised. "Don't take it personally, Andy. I make him nervous" he remarked, maliciously.

"Ha. You wish" Kurt said and grabbed his beer from Andy's hand, tired of waiting.

"Oh, right, Kurt's your name" Andy looked embarrassed. "Hummel would be your surname, of course" he looked down, passing a hand through his hair. Kurt felt guilty. And he would have done something about it if Sebastian hadn't chose that moment to speak.

"You know that's beer, right, gayface? I mean, won't that be too strong for you?" said Sebastian taking a step closer towards Kurt and forcing Andy to move aside.

Kurt felt irritated by the proximity. "Has anybody told you that you have some serious personal-space issues?" Kurt bit back.

"Huh. I'm the one with issues, _right_" Sebastian rolled his eyes. "But, hey, look at that, my point exactly - you need to go back to the very cherry and _very_ _virgin_ Shirley Temples" Sebastian said and snatched Kurt's beer from his hand, not even finding resistance. It took Kurt five seconds, on his state, to realise it.

"Hey!" Kurt slapped Sebastian's hand. "Give it back, give it back" Kurt said and Sebastian raised his arm to keep the drink out of Kurt's reach. _I look like a little kid, dammit_, Kurt realised. "You know what? Fine. Have it for yourself. I know where the bar is" Kurt turned around and started walking furiously. _So much for a free drink_.

Then he felt a hand grasping his arm, tightly. And he gulped down, knowing it was Sebastian.

"Hey- Kurt" Sebastian's voice brushed his ear. The music sounded louder right there, so the boy had to shout a little. "I wasn't trying to mess with you" he said, honestly.

Kurt turned around, a little disturbed. "Then give me back my damn beer, Sebastian! I'm not in the mood for your games, jeez" Kurt said bitterly.

"I know, I know… you said something about _bad timing_, right? Let's get you some water" Sebastian grabbed Kurt's arm tighter and put a hand on the small of his back. Kurt felt uneasy.

"What- water?" he argued, but did nothing to shake Sebastian's hands. "Weren't you supposed to be like _fun _to party with? _Water_?" Kurt asked, feeling played.

"Oh _I am_, trust me" Sebastian winked but then stared at him seriously. Kurt tried to take a step back but Sebastian's hold was strong. "But I'm also smart enough to know that you've had enough _liquid-fun_ for tonight."

Then it hit Kurt. Sebastian was trying to be responsible. He couldn't help himself and laughed hard. "Are you kidding me, Sebastian?" Kurt could hardly articulate. "So what, are you babysitting me now?" he said amused.

"Someone has to, asshole" Sebastian said harshly and started making his way towards the exit, taking Kurt with him.

Kurt found himself outside before he could add something. It was cold, and there were no hands holding him anymore. He began to tumble.

"Wow, easy there, drunky" Sebastian's arms were firm and warm around his arms and back again.

"Mph, thank you" Kurt mumbled, and unconsciously leaned into the touch.

"Kurt-" Sebastian started, but couldn't continue when he felt Kurt's hand on his own.

"Thank you" Kurt said again, awkwardly caressing Sebastian's hand. It was brief, because he suddenly started feeling dizzy. Like _I could throw up any minute _dizzy. "I need to sit down" he stated and straightened up himself, looking incredibly pale while doing so.

"Over here" Sebastian directed him to a bench. "Okay, I'm gonna get you some water" Sebastian realised Kurt was not looking at him, but at the floor, with a very unpleasant expression all over his face. He grabbed Kurt's shoulders and steady him. "Keep your stare on that street lamp, don't look at the floor" Sebastian demanded him, with that commanding tone that Kurt was starting to find unquestionable.

"'Kay" Kurt said, finding himself pretty much unable to do anything other than Sebastian's commands.

"Good" the other boy said and finally left his hold on Kurt.

_I'm not drunk enough for this_, Kurt thought. He really wasn't. _Okay_, so he was feeling like hell right now, but that was just his stomach. He was not as _mentally_ drunk as he would be if he had been taking cocktails. Beer made his stomach incredibly twisted, but it didn't really affect his awareness. And he was feeling _too aware_ of Sebastian, more than he'd wanted to.

Next thing he knew, his shoulders were suddenly surrounded by a muscled arm holding him tight. Kurt looked to the side to find Sebastian offering him a bottle of water.

"Thanks" Kurt mumbled and took the bottle, feeling quite unsettled by the proximity. He didn't need a rerun of the arousal episode again.

"Drink it up" Sebastian ordered him, and Kurt felt a little exasperated. Could Sebastian stop giving him commands? But Kurt decided to do as he was told when he locked eyes with Sebastian, who looked actually concerned.

"Jeez, Sebastian, I'm not that bad" Kurt said and emptied down half the bottle. Sebastian chose to ignore him.

"Good, being thirsty is a good sign" Sebastian commented. "You feel nauseous or something?" he asked, moving an inch closer and looking right at Kurt, who was trying _really_ hard to remain oblivious to Sebastian's warmth and proximity.

"Not really, just a little… dizzy, I guess" Kurt explained, not knowing any more the cause for the sensitive state of his stomach. "But I'm pretty much sobered up now" he said, looking at him seriously, expecting Sebastian to take the hint and leave.

Sebastian rolled his eyes at him. "Sure."

"I mean it" Kurt said irritated, but reminded himself to be kinder. After all, some cruel and twisted turn of fate had brought Sebastian to be the one taking care of him tonight. "I think I just needed the water and… the fresh air" Sebastian's hold was still tight, and it was really not helping Kurt to think straight at all. Since when had Sebastian had this impact on him? "So thank you, you proceeded wisely" Kurt cleared his throat and tensed up.

"Kurt Hummel acknowledging my well doing, wow. I didn't think I'd live to see the day" Sebastian smirked like an idiot, gaining himself a playful punch on his ribs from Kurt. "Ouch, Kurt, this is how you thank me? You should show me some love, you know?" he said suggestively. But Sebastian was clearly joking. _I mean_… _he is, of course he is_, Kurt tried to convince himself.

"Some _love_?" Kurt rolled his eyes at him. "Please, you're tainting the word" Kurt giggled.

"So what?" Sebastian asked cheekily, and continued: "Love can be corrupted, babe," Sebastian winked, "and it can be fun that way."

Kurt noticed the _babe_, of course he did; he just chose to ignore it.

"I'm not really in the mood to discuss love with you, Sebastian." Kurt moved a bit further on the bench, suddenly remembering why he had gone to that bar in the first place. How could he forget it? He was supposed to be mourning his failed engagement!

Sebastian seemed to take in Kurt's suddenly tense state, because he released his hold on him a little and patted the other boy's knee.

"Hey" Sebastian's voice was kind, Kurt noticed. "Are you all right?" then he shook his head, annoyed. "I mean, of course you're not all right. You wouldn't be here if you were, am I wrong?"

Kurt was taken aback by the sincerity he sensed on Sebastian's tone. He turned around to look at him expecting to see a mocking expression, but he didn't. _Why do I keep expecting the worst from him?_ He wondered a little disappointed at himself. Sebastian had his poker face on but kept rubbing Kurt's knee, comforting him. Kurt was at awe for a second, then gulped down the upcoming nod on his throat.

"I guess" he finally conceded. "I… I don't even know what to say" he chuckled briefly, trying not to dwell on the overwhelming feeling of no longer being with Blaine. Sebastian kept silent, so he continued. "I mean, I... I can't even say it, _God._" Kurt threw down his head and hid it between his hands with clear despair. "Blaine and I are done. For good" he stated, unable to bring himself to look up at Sebastian.

The other boy's hand was still on his knee, and Kurt had a close view of it. He gulped down. _Was Sebastian pitying him?_ Then another thought came to his mind "Wow. This is the first time I say it out loud" he snapped his head from his hands and looked up at Sebastian, astonished. "I can't believe it".

Sebastian opened his mouth to say something, but no sound escaped it. He lifted his hand from Kurt's knee and placed it on Kurt's shoulder. "You wanna talk about it?" he asked, finally.

"Not really" Kurt gave him a sad smile. "Not yet, anyway" he added.

Sebastian nodded. "I'm no good with these things, Kurt…" he started, and Kurt stared at him confused. He really wasn't expecting Sebastian to give him a pep talk – Sebastian knew that, right? Kurt opened his mouth to interrupt him and make that clear, but Sebastian continued. "But here we are, right?" he asked Kurt, who nodded along, intrigued. "So, the way I see it, we have two options now: we can get you a cab, so you can go home and sleep it off, or…" Sebastian smirk was back, and Kurt was still processing the "_we_" pronoun Sebastian had employed.

"Or…?" Kurt asked, a mix between intrigue and fear dancing on his stomach.

"I believe we made this clear earlier, but… Like I said, I'm a lot of fun to party with" the boy said cheekily.

Kurt genuinely smiled at Sebastian for the first time… _ever?_ He wondered. "I'm pretty sure I'm choosing option number two, but… what would having _fun _imply exactly?" Kurt asked shyly.

"What would you want it to imply, princess?" Sebastian answered him slyly, and Kurt was quick to roll his eyes at him. He noticed his cheeks burning, though, at the nickname and attitude displayed by Sebastian, whose hand was now rubbing Kurt's back.

"Well, I…" Kurt took a long sip from his water and forced himself to look back at Sebastian, hoping his blush would diminish a little. "Ahem, I mean, I don't think we share the same notion of _fun._" _Does that sound harsh or malicious?_ Kurt wondered, and decided to be completely honest. "Okay, that was just stupid. What I mean is that, well, right now?" Kurt tried to put his vulnerability aside, "all the fun I need is to go eat some cheesecake. Any other day I might find going back into that bar to party hard really fun, but… maybe not right now. I've embarrassed myself enough tonight…" Kurt was babbling awkwardly and he knew it, so he was actually thankful to Sebastian for cutting him.

"Cheesecake is _so_ high school, gayfac_e_" Sebastian joked but casted him a knowing smile, standing up. "If you're about to indulge in some self-pity through food, then don't make it so obvious, jeez."

"You'd know about that, meerkat?" Kurt was actually intrigued. He couldn't quite picture Sebastian ice-cream binging while moping around for a heartbreak.

"I know about being at your lowest with style, dumbass. To keep it classy" Sebastian explained amused and offered Kurt a hand to help him get up from the bench.

"You can't just call me _dumbass_ and then offer me your hand like a gentleman, chipmunk" Kurt rolled his eyes but took Sebastian's offered hand. Sebastian chuckled and Kurt continued. "But, please, enlighten me. Why should I give a damn about keeping self-pity classy?" Kurt asked, a little irritated.

"Because I only offered you the option to have a _fun _time – not a _lame _one. So we're doing this my own _classy_ way, or we're not doing it at all" Sebastian simply said, smirking.

_Why would I even want to do this?_ Kurt wondered, but something inside him really _wanted_ to take up Sebastian's offer. "I give up" he sighed, but pointed an accusing finger at Sebastian. "But it better be good. _Nay_, delicious! _And _satisfying. _And _unhealthy. _And…_"

"Jesus Christ…" Sebastian murmured, while starting to walk.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for your reviews :3 you're too kind!

I've decided to go a little OC on this chapter. I realised I didn't know why Kurt stopped working at Vogue dot com and I had to come up with some reasonable explanation! x) glee's reason didn't satisfy me.

Hope you enjoy this, I don't own Glee!

* * *

"Has anybody told you that you're very touchy?" Kurt asked Sebastian, shaking the other boy's hand from his thigh for the third time since they had reached Sebastian's apartment.

_Sebastian's apartment_. That was the thing: how the hell they had ended up there was a recurrent question on Kurt's mind right now. He had been reluctant at first, but then Sebastian had pronounced the magic words: homemade _crème brûlée_. Of course, it wasn't Sebastian's. It was his mother's, who apparently came visit his son quite often, always bringing delicious gifts, Kurt had learned. And Sebastian hadn't tricked him: the pastry was delicious indeed.

The apartment wasn't too big if you compared it to life in Ohio. But it was definitely big enough for a single person living in New York. And Kurt would've been jealous of Sebastian if he hadn't been distracted by the tasty pastry and the good taste Sebastian seemed to have. Kurt had caught a glimpse of a couple of good novels on Sebastian's bookcase. An oak made bookcase. And it wasn't the only vintage furniture there. Not that Sebastian had precisely given Kurt a _tour_ of his apartment. He had merely introduced Kurt to his sofa.

Sebastian heard Kurt and rolled his eyes at him. "Actually, _no_, you prude. No one has ever complained when I touch them" Sebastian said suggestively.

"You know, I was wondering…" Kurt chose to ignore Sebastian's innuendo, "have you always wanted to be a doctor?" he asked. He had been curious about this since he first learned it from Maggie, truth to be told.

Sebastian casted him a surprised look. "Aw" he faked a sweet smile, "you wonder about me?" the boy inquired amused, getting closer.

Kurt sighed. "_God_, it takes patience with you" he bit back. "Maggie told me. She wouldn't shut up about you, actually" Kurt said, then thought it better than to feed Sebastian's ego. "I guess she wishes she had grandchildren too" Kurt commented. "So… have you?"

Sebastian didn't reply right away. Kurt noticed the boy shifting his weight on the sofa, changing his sitting position, as if he was suddenly uncomfortable. "I don't want to be a doctor" he said, finally.

Kurt looked at him, confused.

"I love Edna, but she has this annoying habit of blowing things out of proportion…" Sebastian explained, a little irritated.

"So you're not in Pre-med?" asked Kurt feeling intrigued. He had even stopped eating.

Sebastian regarded the boy in front of him for a second, as if deciding what to say next. "I am" he explained, "I just don't want to be a doctor. There are more options, you know?" he said abruptly, grasping a glass of water he had left on the table earlier.

"Oh, sure" Kurt answered, taken a little aback. "I bet 'being a doctor' is everybody's first guess when thinking about Medicine" Kurt commented.

"It is" Sebastian said. Then rubbed his forehead and changed his sitting position again. "Look, I'm not trying to be evasive. I'm just giving you the same answers I give myself on a daily basis" the boy explained.

Kurt meditated it. Sebastian was bluntly honest every time he spoke and it didn't cease to surprise him. "You feel conflicted about your program choice, right?" he asked sincerely. He was getting used to be frank and opened with Sebastian too, after all.

"You could say that, I guess" Sebastian smiled awkwardly. "It's not that I don't like it, though" he added, looking away. "It's just that… it's stupid to assume that an eighteen year-old would know what he wants to do with his life" Sebastian rolled his eyes. "It's this stupid system what conflicts me."

Kurt could relate to that. "Yeah… I guess it's a lot of pressure" he commented. "When I first came to New York I hadn't been accepted to NYADA yet." Sebastian looked at him confused. _Oh, right, why would he know I attend NYADA?_ Kurt realised. It's not like they were buddies who had kept in touch after high school. "I attend NYADA now" he explained. "For a while it was depressing, and I had to reapply on December and- but anyway" he interrupted himself, noticing he was deviating, "that's not what I was talking about. Before I was accepted to NYADA, I was an intern at Vogue dot com" he stated with way more pride that he had shown when talking about NYADA. Sebastian noticed that.

"I'm guessing those golden days are over" Sebastian said.

Kurt nodded. "Yep… it's a pity, that in order to make it to the school of my dreams, I had to let go of the job of my dreams" he added a little sad.

"But you work on a diner" Sebastian asked, even though he was stating it.

"Yeah, I do" Kurt agreed. "Vogue's hours conflicted with my classes and the diner didn't" he explained.

"Well, that sucks" Sebastian commented.

Kurt nodded. They fell in a comfortable silence.

Noticing that Sebastian wouldn't add anything else, Kurt thought that maybe this wasn't his favourite conversational topic, and decided not to push further.

"Mm" Kurt couldn't stop himself from moaning when taking another bite from the exquisite _tartelettes à la crème brûlée_. "_Damn you_, this is too good" Kurt mumbled with his mouth full.

"Told ya" Sebastian simply said, observing Kurt melting with the pastry. "So… shall we have dessert?" he asked, then approached Kurt and placed his hand, again, on the other boy's thigh. Kurt simply snatched it off.

"What do you mean _dessert_?" Kurt asked confused, swallowing down the last bite. "How do you call _this_?" he said pointing to his plate.

"I call it _foreplay_" Sebastian said, smirking. Kurt regarded the other boy. He had been too distracted by the food to notice Sebastian's look. Sebastian had a strange darkness on his eyes. Kurt read it as hunger, but not as the right kind of hunger.

"Oh, you wanna have some more _crème brûlée_?" Kurt asked innocently, hoping hard that would be it.

Sebastian took Kurt's plate from his hand and rested it on the table, brushing Kurt's hand for a moment. Kurt suddenly took in the scenario. He was in Sebastian Smythe's apartment, on a party night, and it was 4 in the morning. He had probably ruined Sebastian's chances to get laid tonight. But _he_, Kurt, was there, on Sebastian's sofa. Kurt gulped down. _Dear Gaga, is he so desperate that he would make a move on me? On the night of my break-up?_

"_Oh-wow_, don't you even think giving me _that_ look, Sebastian" Kurt moved aside to sit as far away as possible from the other boy. He was astonished.

Sebastian chuckled. "What look would _that _be, Kurt?" he caressed Kurt's thigh again.

"The _I'm gonna devour you_ look" Kurt looked down. "The look you used to give Blaine" he added.

Sebastian moved closer, and placed his hand on Kurt's chin to lift his head so the boy would lock eyes with him. "It's the look I give anybody I find hot" Sebastian explained.

"_Hot_?" Kurt repeated, nervously. _God, don't be a wreck, don't be a wreck_. "What do you mean _hot_? You don't find me hot, you think I have a gay face! That I dress and look like a girl!" Kurt almost cried out, trembling. He had to hide his shaking hands to stop them from giving him away. Did Sebastian think Kurt was in the mood for that? _Really?_

"Jesus, Kurt, where is that attitude I enjoy so much?" Sebastian asked, amused and irritated at the same time. "Stop it with the nervousness, I'm not trying to steal your virtue or anything" Sebastian said, then stopped, looking clearly disturbed by some realisation. "Because I'm not… right?" he asked, doubtful.

Kurt slapped Sebastian's arm. "My sexual life is none of your business, chipmunk." Sebastian smirked. Kurt just wished Sebastian didn't enjoy so much his bitchiness. Kurt'd prefer it to hurt him just a little bit. Just a bit. "But I'm not a virgin, if that's what unsettles you" Kurt answered with sarcasm.

"_Thank God_" Sebastian sighed, overreacting with amusement. "Not that I would mind being the one to introduce you to sex, though" he grinned.

"Would you stop it, you creep! Where is this coming from? Why are you even flirting with me?" Kurt asked, tired of guessing.

Sebastian wouldn't take it anymore. "You're exhausting, Hummel" he grabbed Kurt's arms tightly, forcing Kurt to keep the eye contact with him. "Listen to me, you idiot, I already said it: you changed. You've toned down your attitude, yeah, but you also look incredibly hotter than you used to. I'm only human, jeez, look at those arms" he lowered down his voice, which got rougher, hungrier, and made Kurt blushed hard.

Kurt felt disregarded and actually hurt. Sebastian knew he was _not _okay, that he had just broken up with Blaine, and yet the boy had the nerve to try and get into his pants? "You insensitive asshole" Kurt stood up, looking for his coat and cell phone. "You fooled me for a minute there, you know? I thought you were just trying to be nice, no ulterior motives" he was getting angrier every second. At Sebastian. At himself. "I'm so stupid" Kurt continued, raising his voice. "On the very night I got dumped by my fiancé" Kurt could feel some tears threatening to leave his eyes. _Dammit, not now! _It was outraging. All night waiting for tears to fall and they had to appear right when he was trying to make a point.

"Kurt!" Sebastian stood up too, clearly confused and concerned. "Hey! I didn't mean to… hey!" he grabbed Kurt's arm to stop him from moving. "Would you listen to me? Goddammit" Sebastian sighed when Kurt's flooded eyes locked with his own. "Calm down, Kurt" he whispered and rubbed Kurt's arm. "I'm an asshole. I was just doing what-, well, what I do best, you know?" Sebastian looked regretful. "Being inappropriate and trying to make things better with sex" he explained. "I was just offering some angry, fun, rebound sex in case you needed it, that's all." Sebastian raised a hand to rub his own forehead. "I… I don't know what else I could have to offer you."

Kurt was taken aback. Did Sebastian really think that little of himself? "Sebastian… what are you talking about? You've already made things better for me twice tonight" Kurt's soft side was instantly out. No one should sell himself that short and that cheap. "You dragged me out from that bar and gave me some comfort food." This time Kurt was the one to put his hands around Sebastian's arm, to which Sebastian responded looking uncertain. "You've been taking care of me since you noticed I was drunk and upset" Kurt smiled. "Give yourself some credit."

"Oh" Sebastian said after a couple of seconds. Kurt could tell Sebastian was not used to hear that kind of compliments. To have someone acknowledge something good about his character. To receive kindness.

"I'm not arguing that you might have your reasons to think that sex is your thing… but, hey, you might have some other things too" Kurt offered timidly.

They both stared at each other for a minute, unable to move. Kurt's hands were still holding Sebastian's arms, and at some point of his speech (Kurt had no idea when exactly) his thumbs had rebelled against his will and had started rubbing circles on the warmth of Sebastian's arm. Now that Kurt had noticed that, he really wanted them to stop, but he couldn't make them. It seemed like they had a life on its own.

Then Kurt saw it: a small smile appearing on Sebastian's lips – slowly, smoothly. And it looked genuine, and kind, and… _wow_, maybe he needed to stop imagining things, really. Kurt smiled back, though, and felt a huge wave of warmth putting his whole body at ease. The silence was pleasant, not awkward, and Kurt thought they both felt it that way.

Then Kurt witnessed Sebastian's face coming a little bit closer, stopping just a couple of inches away from Kurt's. It was so fast Kurt didn't have the time to process it and panic, because once he had Sebastian's warmth even closer, Kurt couldn't help but feeling like diving in. He didn't feel repulsion, or disgust. Sebastian was attractive, no one could deny that – much less Kurt, whose saliva was getting thicker and drier every second.

Sebastian's eyes were saying so much, and Kurt found himself thinking that it was a pity that he couldn't quite figure out what it was. They looked kind, but they also seemed to be demanding something. Then Kurt suddenly felt Sebastian moving forwards again, but this time the boy didn't stop until he captured Kurt's lips with his own on a gentle kiss. Sebastian's lips were merely caressing Kurt's, just as his hands had been doing all night. And Kurt felt comforted. But also surprised. Extremely surprised to melt with Sebastian that easily. It felt only natural. Only human.

_Does it take more explanation than this?_ Kurt found himself remembering those lines from _Funny Girl_ and shivered. He couldn't have broken the kiss even if he had wanted to. He felt as possessed by this man as Fanny had felt by Mr. Arnstein. _God, I'm spending way too much time with Rachel_, Kurt thought amused for a second. But his thoughts found their way back to the boy he was kissing. It wasn't even thoughts. Kurt was not even thinking anymore. He was only feeling. Feeling Sebastian's soft lips, and Sebastian himself, whose hand was now gently caressing Kurt's cheek.

The kiss lasted for a couple of minutes. Sebastian made no attempt to deepen it, nor to take things further. And neither did Kurt. They broke the kiss without notice. Then Sebastian rested his forehead on Kurt's, smoothly caressing Kurt's skin on that spot with his own.

"I know that was inappropriate," it was Sebastian the one to break the pleasant silence, with a relaxed voice, "but it just… I mean, I didn't plan on it. I swear, Kurt." He looked into Kurt's eyes searching for reassurance. "I took the hint. You didn't need me to comfort you with… _this_, and I did it anyway, _God_…why did I do that?" Sebastian took a step back and put some distance between him and Kurt.

"It takes two for a kiss like that to happen" Kurt commented, but didn't try to come closer to Sebastian. After all, Sebastian was right: Kurt wasn't looking for a rebound tonight. "I mean… I kissed you back" Kurt stared at Sebastian, calmed. He didn't want to deal with the many reasons why they shouldn't have kissed right now. He just wanted to keep feeling. He had already felt empty enough tonight. "It was nice. And it just happened" Kurt said.

Sebastian came closer tentatively and planted a kiss on Kurt's cheek. "Okay" he agreed.

"I should leave, though" Kurt explained, although he really didn't mean it. "I think we should call it a night and-…" Kurt couldn't find the right words to express how much he needed to be at home to deal with the emotional hangover he could sense coming. "And just leave it at that."

Sebastian nodded quickly. "Right- good call, yeah" he said frantically, and started gathering Kurt's stuff for him, "here."

Kurt took it and prepared himself to leave. Sebastian walked him to the door awkwardly.

_This couldn't get any more awkward_, Kurt thought, rubbing his own forehead and standing at the door frame of Sebastian's flat, unsure of what he was waiting for exactly to get the hell out of there.

"So…" Sebastian started, nervously.

"So…" Kurt said back, reality suddenly sinking in. _Oh my fucking Gaga, I just kissed the meerkat_.

Sebastian started laughing, bluntly, genuinely. Kurt looked at him confused. What did he find so funny?

"I mean, what the hell was that?" Sebastian babbled between laughs, pointing in the direction of his living room, where the weirdly intimate kiss scene had taken place.

Kurt found himself chuckling too, then openly laughing. "Oh my God" he agreed. _What the hell indeed_, Kurt thought amused.

They laughed for another minute, then became silent again.

Kurt smiled, overwhelmed. "See you around, meerkat" he said.

"See you around, gayface" Sebastian said back.

/

Kurt was sitting on his flat's fire escape, quietly contemplating the dawn. He would do it more often if he didn't normally care about getting up early and going to class. He couldn't bring himself to care right now, though. The emotional hangover had started, and even though it was tearless, it wasn't less exhausting.

Blaine and he had been together for three years, and they had both made a huge impact on each other's life. Kurt wasn't the person he was when he first visited Dalton anymore. But he was no longer bitter about it. Why would he? It's not like it would change anything. Besides, he had decided to change, and that thought granted him back some control on himself and his decisions.

He was tired of changing. Of purposely changing. Blaine was right: they needed some freedom, if only to take a break from the pushing they had inflicted on each other.

He might be feeling empty now. Aimless. But some deep, asleep, part of him felt slightly excited about it. It was Kurt's turn now to choose the aim.


	8. Chapter 8

I don't own glee! Thank you for your reviews :) they made my day

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Blaine hadn't lied when he promised they won't be losing each other. At first, Kurt thought it would be extremely awkward, or that every time he looked at Blaine, guilt would consume him. After all, his identity crisis had been the trigger. They'd still be together if that crisis hadn't showed him how unhealthy their relationship had turned out to be.

That wasn't the kind of guilt Kurt was feeling, though. The hunting guilt he was experiencing had nothing to do with being the one causing the break-up, but with feeling so incredibly relieved. Kurt had felt relieved the minute he walked out of that diner. And feeling relief was okay, of course – as long as that relief changed into pain eventually, into awful and unbearable pain.

But Kurt wasn't feeling any pain at all. Just guilt. Guilt for feeling okay. For not dropping a single tear.

Surprisingly, he wasn't feeling guilty in the slightest about Sebastian. In fact, he hadn't even felt the need to push Sebastian from his mind. Truth was, it wasn't an unpleasant memory – but a good one. Their kiss felt as natural as breathing, and Kurt was no longer one to fight his nature.

"Care to explain this?" Santana asked Kurt a few days later while having dinner, putting her laptop right in front of him. Kurt looked at her first, confused by the dead glare she was giving him. Then he read it, on the screen: _Kurt Hummel and Sebastian Smythe are now friends_. Kurt gulped down. _Damn Santana! _They had become Facebook friends some days ago – clearly, she had been doing some digging on Kurt's profile page to see it now.

"You're unbelievable, Santana!" Kurt said, annoyed. "You stalk me on the Internet now?" he asked, indignant.

"Stalk you?" Santana rolled her eyes at him. "God, are you dramatic, lady pants!" she sighed, acting offended. "I'm just doing my nightly watch on you two, weirdos" she defended.

"Your nightly wa-… you're insane" Rachel said, not even lifting her head from her plate of noodles.

Kurt gave Santana a bitchy glare, then remembered he needed a cover. A good one, because Santana kept looking at him and pointing at the screen, waiting for an explanation.

_Okay, Kurt, it's time for those acting lessons to pay off_, he encouraged himself – Santana was not an easy one to fool. "Well! _That_" Kurt shook his hand, doing a dismissal gesture. "Would you believe that? The chipmunk had the nerve to try and friend me" he snorted.

"Apparently he succeeded" Santana added quickly, not even close to go softer on Kurt.

"Well, you know the saying, Santana: keep your friends close, and your enemies closer." Kurt said the first thing that came to his mind, but he knew that wouldn't be good enough.

Santana narrowed her eyes at him, giving Kurt a suspicious look. "What are you not telling me? Spill, lady."

"Fine!" Kurt sighed. _Think quick, think real quick_. "I received his request just a few days after Blaine and I…" _Playing the break-up card, classy_, he told himself sarcastically, then quickly changed the subject. "Anyway, I saw Blaine and Sebastian were Facebook friends already and… it made me angry, okay?" Kurt said dramatically. "And I really needed the gossip distraction… so I just accepted him and… indulged on a healthy gossip-bitch out session."

"Oh" Rachel moved to sit beside Kurt quickly, "anything good? I could really use a distraction right now" she added with pleading eyes. _I woke up the beast_, Kurt thought amused. Then he remembered Santana was still standing there, laptop on hand and looking slightly less suspicious. He took advantage of Rachel's gossip nature and ignored the latina girl.

"Not really." He grabbed Santana's laptop and put it on his lap, gaining a _hey!_ from her owner. "May I show you, girls?" he asked.

Santana sighed, giving him a truce. "Go ahead" she said reluctantly, but sat beside Rachel to grant herself a good view of the screen. She wouldn't miss the chance to laugh at Sebastian, of course not.

Kurt had lied, though. He had been the one to friend Sebastian on Facebook. When a few days had passed since Kurt'd last seen the other boy, he realised he didn't have Sebastian's phone number. Friending him on Facebook was the less embarrassing thing to do.

Not that Kurt _needed_ a way to keep in touch with Sebastian – not at all, _come on_. He could simply use a distraction – like Rachel.

/

A week later, the feeling of relief was still more prominent than the feeling of heartbreak, and it was driving Kurt nuts. On a desperate attempt to battle the anxiety Kurt felt every time he was home alone, he chose Friday to go visit his old ladies. _Yes_, as sad as it might seem, he had nothing better to do on a Friday. And Kurt also hoped Sebastian did have a better plan – the boy would probably be out partying, so the chances to come across him at Lexington should be shorter. Kurt was mistaken, though.

Kurt knew they were meant to meet there eventually, but he had hoped it'd be later than sooner, come on! Why did they keep visiting the old ladies in the same _freaking_ days?

Seriously, karma was not being kind on him, because as soon as Kurt saw him, he realised his corporal reaction towards the other boy was changing. Sebastian was standing on the balcony with his grandma and his hair looked shorter – it suited him well, Kurt noticed. He was smiling to Edna, sweetly, with a soft expression on his eyes that Kurt was not used to see on him. Kurt found himself liking it.

/

"I'm beginning to think you've infiltrated someone on my inner circle to know exactly which days I come here" an irritated Kurt whispered on Sebastian's ear, so Maggie and Edna couldn't hear him. Not that their hearing was exactly sharp, but one could never be too cautious.

Sebastian casted him an annoyed look. "And I'm the one who's full of himself, _right_" Sebastian said, taken aback. He folded his arms and winced, looking like a neglected child. Kurt damned himself for finding it cute. _Cute? What's wrong with me?_

Kurt knew he wasn't exactly being kind, but _God_, could he care less. He rolled his eyes at Sebastian's remark, and drove back his attention to Maggie's endless speech about _Cats_.

Any other day Kurt could easily feel in the mood to appreciate Maggie's skills, or eloquence, but today he wasn't feeling it. His mind kept wandering towards _that_ awful night. Having Sebastian sat beside him wasn't helping either. Granted, so he didn't regret the _Sebastian's apartment part_ of the night. But that only reminded him that he was no longer engaged to Blaine, or dating him, and he hadn't informed the ladies yet.

"Kurtie, dear" Edna started to say with concern, cutting Maggie. She had clearly taken in Kurt's anxious and distant expression. Kurt gulped down. "Is there anything troubling your sweet mind?" she asked, giving him a knowing look.

Kurt gave her a bitter smile, then heard Sebastian coughing awkwardly. Kurt looked at him confused, then realised the other boy was telling his grandma to cut it with an intense look. Was Sebastian trying to help him? Kurt observed him and got warmer, and for a moment he even felt really grateful. Kurt smiled at him, but there was really no need to postpone the inevitable. The world would find out eventually about what a failure he was. _God, what a depressing thought_, Kurt thought, mentally slapping himself.

"It's okay, Sebastian" Kurt said, grabbing his cup of tea to grant himself some balance. "I'm… Well, ladies, Kurt Hummel is no longer engaged" he commented, lowering down his eyes, not wanting to see Maggie and Edna's reaction.

"Oh, dear, what happened?" Maggie was the first to talk.

Of course, Edna cut her. "Maggie, don't pressure the poor boy!" she said irritated, then continued. "Kurt, sweetheart, you don't have to tell us if you don't want to" she said sweetly.

Maggie sighed, exasperated. "Of course he doesn't have to, you cranky lady – but maybe he needs to, right?" she asked Kurt, pleading on her eyes.

Kurt really didn't need to go over the whole thing again, so he opted for doing something desperate. It was not rational, but he turned around on his seat to look again at Sebastian, hoping the boy would still intend to help him. Sebastian took the hint, but didn't spare Kurt a smirk.

"What Kurt needs is a drink" Sebastian stated, standing up. _I guess I walked right into that one_, Kurt thought.

"Yes" Kurt agreed, reluctantly. "Thanks, Sebastian" he said.

"Anytime" Sebastian said, looking amused. "So, I'm gonna take the poor kid out for a proper distraction" he explained to Edna and Maggie. "God knows his friends must have fed him with enough ice-cream to supply a country by now" Sebastian added, ignoring Kurt's presence.

The girl reference didn't help. _I'm regretting this already_, Kurt thought.

"'Cause that's what we ladies do" Kurt bit back, sarcastically. Then turned to Edna and Maggie, who still looked concerned, and kissed them goodbye. "See you ladies next week" he said. "I promise I'll be giving you something to chew, Maggie" he added, looking at the disappointed lady.

"You better, Pillsbury!" she said looking cheerier already.

The two boys went outside the building, and Kurt hoped that would put an end to things.

"Okay, so… thank you for that, meerkat" he said to Sebastian, trying to be polite.

"Don't mention it" Sebastian said, then added "my car is that way" while grabbing Kurt's forearm, noticing that Kurt had started to walk on the opposite direction.

Kurt turned around, confused. "I don't need a drive" he simply said, then realised he was being a little bit ungrateful and unkind to Sebastian today: "but thank you, anyway."

"A drive?" Sebastian asked him. "You mean you're leaving?" he took a step closer, narrowing his eyes at Kurt. _There it is_, Kurt thought. That demanding and unquestionable attitude Kurt found so… unsettling.

"Well, yes- I mean… you weren't serious about going for a drink, were you?" now Kurt was confused. Why would Sebastian want to waste another minute on a depressed Kurt?

Sebastian stared at him with curiosity. Kurt interrupted his train of thoughts. "You realise I'm not fun to be around right now, don't you?" Kurt questioned him. He'd better be honest. "I'm on a terrible mood, Sebastian – I'm not feeling like being kind, or friendly, or… anything good, I mean it" Kurt said harshly.

Sebastian chuckled. "Oh, I've noticed that much" he said, then put a _warm_ arm around Kurt's shoulders, casually. "That's precisely why you need that drink _and _someone fun to be around" he smirked.

Kurt demanded himself to ignore the proximity and instead regarded Sebastian, considering the proposition. "This is the second time you're being nice to me" Kurt told him. "I don't know what to make of that" he said, frankly.

"You could simply thank me" Sebastian chuckled again, directing them towards his car.

/

Sebastian picked a cool bar, to Kurt's surprise. Kurt expected the other boy to take him somewhere similar to Scandals, but that wasn't the case. It was an Irish pub, and since it was 4 p.m., they were the only customers in there.

Sebastian ordered two beers for them, from a brand Kurt had never heard of.

"Here's to welcome beer and farewell Shirley Temples from our lives" Sebastian said amused, raising his bottle.

"Cheers" Kurt answered, smiling at him sarcastically. He was not even in the mood to argue with him.

"Oh, come on!" Sebastian laughed. "You're not going to fight me?" Sebastian said, trying to incite Kurt.

"You're sick, Sebastian" Kurt said after a few seconds of consideration. "And I believe I've discovered what your fetish is" Kurt found himself giggling.

Sebastian chuckled, looking amused. "Really?" he asked incredulously, "and what would that be?"

"You have a thing for harshness" Kurt commented, taking a distracted sip from his beer.

"Won't you mean harnesses?" Sebastian suggested amused.

Kurt rolled his eyes at him. "Ha, you wish. You're not even the right kind of fetishist – you know, with objects, sex toys and stuff" Kurt explained coyly, "as much as it must pain you" he added.

"I wasn't aware there was a right kind of fetish – one that you'd grant your approval" Sebastian winked playfully. "But, please, do tell" he added. "I didn't take you for an erudite on the matter" Sebastian smirked.

Kurt slapped Sebastian's thigh mindlessly. "Well, maybe you don't deserve this erudite's insight" he joked.

"You're gonna have to do so much better than that if you want me to beg you" Sebastian said, then came closer to add "just saying" on Kurt's ear.

"_Beg me_? Oh, don't sweat it, meerkat, I couldn't be less interested" Kurt bit back giggling. _Oops, this beer is strong_, he noticed.

"So you keep saying, Kurtie – so you keep saying" Sebastian chuckled _attractively_, Kurt thought. _Dammit_.

"Anyway" Kurt decided to put an end to the flirting. _Flirting?_ He wondered briefly. "Your fetish is not an object, but an attitude" Kurt continued, "you like 'em bitchy" Kurt looked at him for dramatic effect, "that's why you keep trying to provoke me" he smiled pleased with himself. _Score_.

Sebastian regarded Kurt with curiosity. "Mmh" he hummed with amusement while taking a long ship from his beer. "I wonder how much thought and effort you put into that" then he looked at Kurt suggestively.

"You're insufferable" Kurt said, rolling his eyes, "and I have bad news for you, meerkat – I'm not that person anymore" he said, feeling bitter.

Sebastian witnessed Kurt going from cocky to sad and didn't know how to proceed.

Kurt sighed, trying to relax. "You were right, Sebastian" he said, "I've changed. So we both better start accepting that."

"I might be wrong, but you sound bitter" Sebastian commented, looking at him with a serious expression. Kurt observed him for a moment, then gave the boy a sad smile.

"I guess I miss some parts of it, you know?" Kurt conceded. "I miss the fierceness, I guess" he continued, while Sebastian played with the stick of his bottle, "the drive I used to have" he muttered.

"I don't think you've lost that" Sebastian said frankly, making Kurt shift a bit on his seat, awkwardly – he still didn't know what to make of Sebastian's kindness. "Okay, so maybe the fierceness is reaching some critic low levels" Sebastian chuckled, "but the drive? I believe I watched a _Peter Pan_ play only three weeks ago".

Sebastian was smiling at him. And it was becoming a regular thing, Kurt noted, giving him the goose bumps. The boy had a pretty smile when it was genuine – it was really bright. Really alive. Kurt smiled back, timidly.

"You should stop trying to make me feel better, _Bastian_" Kurt said, minding his bottle of beer. He didn't even notice the nickname he used.

"Is that what I'm doing?" Sebastian asked, voice full of disdain. Kurt looked at him, raising his eyebrow with annoyance but realised the other boy was joking.

"Yes" Kurt said, less tense. "You are, and it's not cute" he commented.

"Good, because I'm not trying to be cute" Sebastian said, then moved his hand to reach Kurt's knee and started rubbing it in circles. "You want a refill?" he asked gently.

But Sebastian didn't know Kurt's body was rejecting any sort of kindness it received.

"Sebastian, I told you - I don't want you to comfort me today" Kurt tried to explain calmly. He didn't want the help, because he needed to feel the little pain he could manage to feel.

But Kurt also didn't want to be rude to someone who was proving to mean well towards him lately. "I'm not okay right now and I don't intend to" Kurt's voice was getting weaker, so he cleared his throat. "I don't want to" Kurt admitted.

"Don't want to, or just don't want me to?" Sebastian asked, his hand suddenly stopping its movement on Kurt's knee.

Kurt looked at him, considering it. Was it selfish to let himself be comforted by Sebastian? It really didn't matter, though. "I don't want to feel better" Kurt simply whispered.

"Well, maybe I'm not the only one who has a thing for harshness, after all" Sebastian said lowering his voice too, and Kurt noticed a small smile gracing the other boy lips. Sebastian's lips were wet from the beer, and it was quite distracting.

Kurt casted him a knowing look. "Yeah… I don't think that's the case." Then he buried his head between his arms, folded over the bar. "You don't get it" he mumbled.

"Well, then stop complaining and make me get it" Sebastian said, a little exasperated. Kurt looked up, feeling insecure.

He regained himself and considered it. He hadn't shared this with anyone yet, and it was consuming him. But he couldn't just go telling people how _incredibly okay_ he felt without Blaine. How incredibly relieved he was. It meant he was not a nice person, and it wasn't something he needed people to know. At least _normal people_. Maybe _Sebastian_ didn't count, then. "Okay" Kurt decided. "I guess… I don't mind you judging me" he conceded.

Sebastian chuckled. "Okay" he said eventually.

Kurt hid his face between his hands – it was one thing to say it out loud, and another one to watch Sebastian's reaction. "I can't feel any pain, Sebastian." Finally. It was out. Kurt sighed, feeling lighter. "I mean, I-… I don't think I have it in me, to feel pain, or heartbreak, about me and Blaine, and I-"

Kurt stopped because there were two hands grabbing his own to unbury his face. He let Sebastian uncover him and came face to face with the boy. Way too closer for his comfort. But he knew Sebastian didn't share ordinary people' boundaries of personal space.

Sebastian was not talking, and that only encouraged Kurt to let it all out.

"I feel relieved. Can you fucking believe it? I can't stop feeling relieved" he said, angry. "Like, all the time" he lowered down his voice. "I want to feel sad, but I can't, Sebastian" he gulped down hardly. "And I just- I feel so bad that I can't. I've never felt this bad before. Ever" Kurt said honestly.

Sebastian bit hard his lower lip, containing what it looked like _a smile? _Kurt wondered.

"What-?!" Kurt snatched, annoyed. "Oh, you find it funny, you asshole?"

Sebastian chuckled briefly. "Don't kill me, jeez!" the boy said protecting himself for the several punches Kurt was trying to give him on the shoulders. "I'm sorry, but it's kind of ironic, don't you think?" he defended. "You're actually feeling bad because you can't feel bad, or so you say" Sebastian explained. "I mean… it makes no sense – you look like hell, that much I can assure you."

Kurt didn't say anything. He couldn't. Sebastian was _right?_ He wondered.

"I'm gonna need that refill" Kurt said rubbing his own forehead.


	9. Chapter 9

I don't own glee! Thanks for reading :)

* * *

And there they were again. Sebastian and Kurt, having fun together. Seriously, _who would have thought?_ They had been laughing for maybe an hour, or more, and Kurt couldn't say exactly at what: at nothing, at each other, at everything… Sometimes they even fell in comfortable silences. And _that _damn hand. _Sebastian's _damn hand. It wouldn't stop its rubbing on Kurt (his knee, his back, his shoulder). Sebastian was touchy indeed. Not that Kurt was surprised – but he'd never have imagined being the one Sebastian would touch. Even if it was innocent. Or friendly. _Friends?_ Was that what they were now, all of a sudden? _Friends?_

"You know, you've changed too" Kurt barely articulated while empting his third beer.

Sebastian shrugged. "People do that all the time, or so I've been told" he smirked.

Kurt giggled. Sebastian seemed to remember some stuff Kurt told him. He tried _hard_ not to like that.

"I guess they do" Kurt commented, playing the disinterested.

"And I guess sometimes they even do it on purpose, right?" Sebastian continued.

"Just like I choose to be this boring" Kurt gave him a sarcastic smile.

"Okay" Sebastian stood up, adopting a concerned, but amused, expression. "What do I have to do to make you believe I didn't mean that?" the boy asked, forcing Kurt to turn around on his seat to follow his movements.

Kurt smiled. "That's okay, Sebastian. I'm guessing if you found me boring, you wouldn't hang out with me, right?" he said, truly. Sebastian smiled back at him and took a step closer, placing his hands on both Kurt knees, making Kurt shiver. "… Or kiss me" Kurt let slip. It was out before he realised it. _Crap_, Kurt damned himself, and felt like fleeing, but Sebastian didn't look as freaked out as Kurt was. Maybe panic was not a feeling Sebastian could experiment.

"Yeah" Sebastian whispered after a few seconds, during which he didn't let go of Kurt eyes - not even to blink. "But, you know? Technically, like you said, it takes two to _share_ a kiss, just as it takes two to hang out _this_ often… So I'm thinking you have some calling here too."

Kurt wondered if that was Sebastian's way of making sure Kurt wanted this. Whatever _this_ was. Their _friendship_, understanding or… really, whatever this was.

"Fine" Kurt sighed exaggeratedly, amused. "I don't find you boring either" Kurt said with a smirk.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Kurt, grinning. "I told you, gayface. You're gonna have to do better than that to get into my pants" Sebastian whispered while nipping Kurt's nose with a playful bite.

That was it. That was all it took for Kurt to become a nervous mess with a difficult breathing. He was, in no way, used to this kind of flirting. It was so… rough. Vulnerable. Physical. Kurt couldn't help but feeling, once again, that it was only natural. _Does it take more explanation than this…?_

But feeling was one thing, and actually having the slightest clue of how to act on it, another. _Oh_ _God_, Sebastian seemed so comfortable around him. So comfortable with all the touchiness.

Kurt looked down, unsure of what to do. His body was asking him to stay, as if a reaction had happened between its flesh and Sebastian's on that bite, and there was no way to contain it. And his mind was telling him to get the hell out of there. And his heart… well, his heart seemed to remain lost in the battle.

"I do make you nervous, don't I?" Sebastian asked him, taking back his hands. Kurt suddenly felt cold on his knees, now that they weren't covered by Sebastian's warmth. _Dammit_, he mentally coursed. He was getting way too used to Sebastian's warmth.

"I just- don't…" Kurt sighed, looking up. He was no longer a teenager, for God's sake. "I told you" he said, staring right at Sebastian intensely. "I just don't know what to make of this."

Sebastian scratched his neck, thoughtful. "Neither do I" the boy said, uncertain.

Kurt regarded him. Sebastian was not smirking, nor joking. Maybe he was as clueless as Kurt was.

"You wanna catch some air?" Kurt asked, unable to contain the smile creeping up his chest towards his lips. Sebastian looked _cute_ when he was uncertain. Kurt bit his lip.

"Sure, go grab our coats, I got this" Sebastian stated cockily, while taking out his wallet. _Ever the gentleman. And ever the lady_, Kurt thought amused.

/

"But you gotta picture it! From my perspective!" Kurt shouted between laughs. This story didn't use to make him laugh – not at all. Mostly, it was a dark memory for him. "_The _love song, _the_ place, and _absolutely_ _everybody_ I know standing there, looking at me with excited eyes and desperately expecting me to say _yes_" Kurt explained, chuckling. "How the hell could I have a choice? It was a trap, that's what it was."

Sebastian laughed. "Yeah… okay, I guess I get it" he said smiling. Then he placed his hand on Kurt's nape, letting his fingers run there freely, but gently. "I would've helped you if you'd just said the word, you know" Sebastian winked.

Kurt snorted. "Oh, please" he said trying hard not to shiver at the touch. "I'm pretty sure you were gloating inside" Kurt smiled cheekily. "I bet you even felt grateful that you didn't succeed to get Blaine for yourself back in the day."

Sebastian laughed. "You got me. Your proposal was the very day he lost any sex-appeal he might have for me. So cheesy" Sebastian made a disapproving face. "I kind of didn't want to be there, though" he admitted, looking at Kurt.

"Then why did you?" Kurt asked, even if he knew Sebastian would continue anyway.

"You know how those Warblers are" Sebastian stated as if it was obvious. "They adore Blaine and would do anything to redeem themselves for last year's fraud."

"Oh, _that_" Kurt chuckled. "That was low, Sebastian" Kurt couldn't stop himself from saying. "I mean, I heard it wasn't your idea-" Kurt assured him, trying not to be hurtful. Since when did he care about being harsh on Sebastian? The boy liked it when Kurt was harsh.

"I know" Sebastian cut him. He didn't really look ashamed, though. The boy shrugged. "I didn't take the steroids, but I wouldn't judge those who did take 'em. They were under a lot of pressure" he said, understanding. Kurt was at awe for a second, because Sebastian's reasoning was actually kind of mature.

They fell in silence. "I feel like I don't know you at all" Kurt commented, when they reached a bench on Central Park.

Sebastian sat on the bench and looked up at him amused. "Are you surprised? We've never been friends, Kurt" he added, and Kurt knew the boy was just being honest, but somehow he didn't like that comment. Sebastian knew better than to make assumptions about Kurt because they had never been friends. Kurt had done nothing but to assume the worst of Sebastian ever since high school.

"I guess" Kurt conceded, sitting himself beside Sebastian. "We've known each other for a couple of years but… if I'm being honest, I've kind of made it a purpose of mine to stop judging you from who you used to be" Kurt said, offering him an awkward smile.

"But I'm the same person" Sebastian chuckled. "Even if I changed, I still did all those things" he said calmly. So calmly that Kurt wondered if the boy felt guilty at all.

"But you regret those, don't you?" Kurt asked Sebastian, narrowing his eyes at him.

Sebastian shrugged and scratched his neck, looking visibly uncomfortable. "What do you want me to say, Kurt?"

Kurt observed him confused. Why did he expect Sebastian to feel a certain way? Whatever Sebastian felt, it was his own business, not Kurt's. "I don't know" he sighed.

"Those mistakes are mine" Sebastian stated with a clear and calmed voice. "If I convinced myself they aren't mine anymore, then I wouldn't be the way I am now" he explained. "Maybe I'm not making any sense… but I like to own my flaws."

Kurt regarded Sebastian surprised, going instantly softer on him.

"That's actually very wise, meerkat" he rested his head on Sebastian's shoulder. "Funnily enough, I came to the same realisation just a few weeks ago."

"Well, I didn't just come up with that" Sebastian chuckled. "Growing up involves some thinking" he said, then his hand found its way back to Kurt – this time, Kurt's thigh.

"Sebastian…" Kurt started but had to stop because Sebastian's hand was now caressing him over the fabric of his trousers. He didn't shake Sebastian's hand away, though. "I can't- I can't really focus on a conversation if you behave like this" he sifted awkwardly on his seat.

"Like what?" Sebastian fake-asked innocently.

"Like your natural touchy self" Kurt mumbled, still not shaking the other boy's hand off him.

"Let's not talk, then" Sebastian said, taking his eyes from Kurt and looking forward, contemplating the night sky.

"Okay" Kurt said after a few seconds. He made himself comfortable on the bench and regarded the sky too.

Kurt let himself linger in the touch. Sebastian was caressing him and it felt _great_. His hand kept making soft draws on his thigh, which Kurt observed now and then distractedly. Kurt's cheek was pressed against Sebastian's shoulder, which granted him some access to Sebastian's neck and its smell. And Kurt was pleased to discover it didn't smell like cologne, but like Sebastian's body scent. _Sebastian's smell_. It was intoxicating, and Kurt couldn't stop breathing it.

Sebastian's arm was pressed against Kurt's, so freaking close to his skin it was torture. Kurt forgot about thinking and moved his arm to intertwine it with Sebastian's, grasping Sebastian's forearm with his hand. Kurt started rubbing it, unable to do anything else.

"You're so innocent, Kurt" Sebastian smiled at him, "it's killing me" he continued, finally removing his hand from Kurt's thigh. "But I like it" he added, noticing Kurt was looking at him sort of disappointed.

"You… do?" Kurt asked, astonished. Not in a million years he'd have hoped to hear something like that coming from Sebastian's mouth – aimed at him. Sure, the boy could make a thousand inappropriate comments, or flirt his way through anything, but the fondness Kurt sensed on his words – that was something else. And yes, Kurt was being cheesy, but he felt like a gang of badass butterflies were throwing a rave on his belly.

Kurt had to force himself to keep the eye contact. Every time he looked into Sebastian's eyes, it felt like he was waking up a sleeping beast. Kurt gulped, because _there it was_. _That hunger_, again, on Sebastian's eyes. Not the ordinary one. The physical one.

"Mm" Sebastian made, nodding slightly and rising a hand to caress Kurt's temples. "I do" he confirmed with words.

"I believe I got you wrong, then" Kurt said more for himself than for Sebastian.

"How come?" the boy asked.

"I thought you just _liked me_" Kurt stopped to make quotation marks here "when I'm bitchy." Kurt tried to say it casually, but his insides were killing him with nervousness.

Sebastian grinned, then put his arm around Kurt's shoulders and brought him closer, granting himself some access to Kurt's ear. "I enjoy our verbal fights" he whispered there, making Kurt shudder. "But I also enjoy your physical reactions to my proximity" he grinned cockily.

Kurt gulped down. This was too much for him. What was he even doing? He was letting himself be courted by Sebastian! _Oh my!_

"I'm not that easy" Kurt said, hiding himself behind a smirk mask. He didn't move a millimetre, though. One step at a time.

"I am" Sebastian said casually, caressing Kurt's arm.

"Why would you say that?" Kurt asked concerned. Why did Sebastian enjoy selling himself cheap?

"Because it's true, Kurt" Sebastian sighed. "I don't give these things a second thought. If I wanna do someone, I just do someone" he said roughly. "Everybody has a choice, and that's mine."

Kurt meditated that. There was a palpable strength coming from Sebastian's words. A possessiveness. As if the boy was kind of possessive of his own choices. Sebastian liked to own his flaws, and Sebastian also liked to own his sex choices. Was there anything wrong with that?

"You don't care that probably not everybody will get that?" Kurt struggled, trying to find the right words. "I mean, if people don't give it a second thought either… then they won't appreciate you properly, don't you think?" Kurt asked tentatively. He just wanted to understand Sebastian – the full picture. He was intrigued about the way Sebastian saw the world, truth to be told.

"I don't need everybody to appreciate me" Sebastian said. "Why would I?" he frowned.

"But do _you_?" it was out before Kurt could control it. "I mean, do you _appreciate_… yourself?" he added timidly.

Sebastian stared at him with uncertainty. "That's so vague" he sighed. "Does anybody?" Sebastian asked rhetorically. "I don't mistreat me, if that's what you're worried about."

"I'm not- I mean… I guess it conflicts me" Kurt's voice got a little piercing. He noticed that, and ordered himself not to be so damn sensitive. "I do get that you don't need everybody's approval – only your own" he started, calmly, "but sometimes I kind of think you sell yourself…"

"Cheap – you can say it, I won't be offended" Sebastian cut him, but instead of the bitter smile Kurt thought he'd see on the other boy's lips, there was a genuine one.

"But how couldn't you? You're not cheap, Sebastian!" Kurt's piercing voice was back. How did Kurt end up defending Sebastian's honour when the other boy clearly didn't give a fuck about it? "You're just confident, I think."

"Kurt, I'd care about my grandma thinking that little of me. About my mum, maybe. And only because I can't expect them to see things the way I see 'em" Sebastian explained, staring at him intensely. "But just- not about everybody, you know what I mean?" he asked Kurt, insecurely.

"I think so" Kurt put his head back on Sebastian's shoulder, biting his tongue from adding anything else. He didn't see things the way Sebastian did, but that was okay, he realised, because Sebastian didn't expect him either – _I mean -_ Kurt continued his inner monologue - Sebastian didn't care about what Kurt might think about him… _right?_

"But thank you, anyway" Sebastian stated, looking away.

"For what?" Kurt raised his head to look at him, but Sebastian wouldn't return it.

"For trying not to judge me, I guess" Sebastian said, awkwardly.

_Perhaps he cares after all_, Kurt wondered. "You're welcome" Kurt smiled.

/

The ride back home was silent. Sebastian kindly offered to drive Kurt to Bushwick. When Kurt noticed that somehow it was around 2:00 in the morning, he picked Sebastian up on the offer quickly.

None of the two boys had eaten since lunch – they had only drank beer, and Kurt's stomach was making loud noises. Thankfully those went unheard because of the _Metallica_ CD Sebastian had playing on his car.

When they reached Kurt's alley, they both remained still for a few seconds, not knowing what to do. An idea had been wandering in Kurt's brain for a few minutes, but maybe it was time to call it a night. He looked at Sebastian, wondering... And he made up his mind. Kurt grabbed his phone and started typing.

Sebastian simply observed him, quietly. Then he saw a smile appearing on Kurt's lips and the boy turning to look at him cheerily. "There's no one home" he said. "It's Friday night" he remembered.

"So?" Sebastian asked him confused.

Kurt smiled lively again. "So, you can come upstairs and try my _natillas_, come on!" he opened up the passenger' door and got out the car excitedly.

Sebastian chuckled and got out the car too, locking it. "You're sneaking me into your flat, huh?" the boy smirked. "Like some one night stand."

Kurt punched him softly on the sides. "You wish."

By the time they reached Kurt's floor, Sebastian wouldn't stop commenting on everything. "And don't get me started on the neighbourhood, gayface" he continued. "So tacky, couldn't you seriously do better?"

"God, I'm regretting this already" Kurt said while taking out his keys to enter his flat.

Sebastian chuckled. "I'm hoping your place would make up for all this."

"Oh, I assure you, it does" Kurt smiled and opened the door. "Make yourself comfortable" he said, while going to the fridge to take his dessert.

"Okay, points on the furniture and deco" Sebastian said, giving the flat a general look. "But the curtains… _really_?" he turned around to look at Kurt with a concerned expression. "Are your sex lives that poor that you don't even need some real privacy? Or do you just enjoy hearing each other moans at night?"

"Ew, you're disgusting, Sebastian" Kurt made a face. "We have ear plugs, or iPods, you know."

"If you say so" Sebastian's disapproval face was still on.

"Let's take this to my room" Kurt handed him over two bowls and directed the boy towards his room's curtain.

"No foreplay, huh?" Sebastian asked. "This is getting interesting."

"Shut up" Kurt rolled his eyes.

Once they were on Kurt's bedroom, Kurt realised he hadn't exactly planned on what to do next. He stood there awkwardly, observing Sebastian going all over his room, examining it.

"Hey, I didn't do that in your flat" Kurt protested.

"No one stopped you" Sebastian sang-song.

Kurt pouted briefly and decided to sit down on his bed. "You wanna watch a movie?" he asked, then damned himself. This was probably way too teenager-like for Sebastian. Why would the boy want to do that on a Friday night? He was probably still in time to get himself into a disco.

"Sure" Sebastian replied to Kurt's surprise, and sat beside him on the bed. He grabbed his bowl and tried the _natillas_. "Mm" he made, closing his eyes.

Kurt's ego would have made a victory dance if he hadn't been distracted by Sebastian's naturally suggestive expression. The boy licked his own lips, taking away any remaining drop from the dessert. Then Sebastian opened his eyes and found a blushing Kurt staring at him.

"It's good, gayface" Sebastian said, smirking pleased with Kurt's reaction.

"Oh" Kurt realised he was staring and decided to mind his own bowl. "I'm glad you like it" he smiled awkwardly.

Kurt got up to grab his laptop and put it on his lap. He started playing _Zoolander_ and gained a snort from Sebastian.

"Seriously, _Zoolander_?" the boy asked.

"What?" Kurt protested. "It's a great movie! It's really funny, haven't you seen it?" Kurt asked suspiciously.

"It looks so lame" Sebastian said, looking away in a childish way.

Kurt giggled. "Oh my, you're so gonna watch it _and_ love it" he made himself comfortable on the pillows, grabbing his bowl again. Sebastian observed him from his sitting position, and Kurt patted the place beside him to indicate the other boy that it was okay for him to lay down too.

They ate in silence and watched the movie. Kurt caught Sebastian covering his mouth a couple of times during the first 15 minutes of movie, and smirked pleased. After that, Sebastian forgot to cover it and laughed mindlessly.

Kurt fell asleep eventually. He hadn't planned on it, not really. His eyes popped opened when the music from the credits started playing, and discovered he was snuggled up to Sebastian, whose arms where intertwined with his own. Kurt closed his eyes again, unwilling to deal with any of that.


	10. Chapter 10

Again, thank you for the reviews ^^

P.S.: I don't own glee!

* * *

Kurt was a light sleeper. He had always been, ever since he was a kid. That's why he normally used ear plugs – he had a sharp, almost inhuman, hearing. He would wake up even by the sound of someone coughing on the kitchen. So how could he not hear Sebastian trying to sneak out on him?

At first, Kurt played along pretending to be asleep – mostly because he had no idea what to do. How the hell had he been so careless to fall asleep? Before starting the movie, Kurt had made it a mental point to keep his eyes wide open every moment. For starters, how awkward was the mere fact that he had invited Sebastian to stay over for a movie? And how awkward had it been that Sebastian agreed? Things could only get weirder if they fell asleep together.

_Dammit_, Kurt blamed his bad luck. Of course they did. They had even snuggled up to each other, for Christ's sake. And there was a limit! Not to mention that some of his roommates could've walked into his room and caught them in such a compromising position. _Oh Sweet Gaga!_

But Kurt woke up to the sound of Sebastian moving, and he didn't feel rested – therefore, they probably hadn't slept in that long. It felt like he had heard the credits playing only two minutes ago. Kurt opened up his eyes cautiously to give a quick glance to his wall watch. It was freaking 4 in the morning. He might fear facing the other boy, but fear wouldn't cloud his judgement: it was dark and cold outside!

"Hey" Kurt mumbled, keeping his voice down. Maybe the thing he feared the most was Santana's equally sharp Mexican eye. Sebastian was putting on his shoes, and didn't seem to hear him. Kurt sat himself, noticing Sebastian's back going rigid because of the movement. "Hey" Kurt repeated.

Sebastian turned around to face him. He looked as awkward as Kurt had imagined. "Hey" Sebastian said back.

"What are you doing?" Kurt whispered, rubbing his eyes and noticing he was probably not looking his best. He hated so much his bed hair…

Sebastian casted him a confused look, and Kurt mentally damned the other boy for not cooperating. "I mean… it's 4 in the morning, Sebastian. You don't have to leave" Kurt told him, unable to look up. Sebastian was still silent, making Kurt feel exasperated. That made Kurt regain some confidence to look up, sighing. "You can leave in the morning, when there's light and the streets aren't this bad…" Kurt suggested, coyly; then he realised he was probably scaring Sebastian. "I mean, not that this is a dangerous zone, or something, but… you can never be too cautious" he tried to joke.

Sebastian apparently didn't catch that, because the boy just observed Kurt with uncertainty while scratching his own head.

"Kurt, I have the-" Sebastian started.

"Oh, I made it look like I was suggesting it" Kurt smiled cockily now. "Pardon me, I'm still asleep" he continued. "You're staying" Kurt stated and laid back down. Sebastian's eyes went wide.

"Why?" the other boy asked, clearly surprised.

Kurt sighed again. Seriously, did he have to explain everything? Kurt really didn't want to keep talking. As much as Kurt did fear Bushwick streets this late at night, he was afraid that Sebastian would take it as if Kurt was actually asking him to spend the night on his bed. And that wasn't the case – no sir, Kurt was merely trying to assure Sebastian's safety. Or so he told himself. "It's really late, Sebastian" he murmured, gesturing dramatically to the window, "you, alone, on these streets – really, I don't think it's a good idea." Kurt looked at him, noticing the boy wouldn't move, and he worried now, for real, that Sebastian would actually leave and hit the streets. "Besides, Edna would kill me" he added desperately.

Sebastian rolled his eyes and smiled at him. "Fine." He laid down again, next to Kurt, and turned around to face him. "Are you really that concerned about my well-being, gayface?" Sebastian asked amused.

Kurt gulped down. Of course he was. Had he been living in Manhattan, it'd be a completely different story. Sebastian's attempt to call on a possible ulterior motive unsettled him, though. "I wanna sleep, meerkat" Kurt said, hoping that Sebastian would let it be.

"I sleep on my apartment" Sebastian argued, "not at one night stand's" he joked.

Kurt gave him a bitchy glare. "Wow, if this is what you call a one night stand, then I think you've been bragging way too much about your sex life" he giggled, pleased with himself for thinking of good remarks even on his asleep state. _Self-high-five_.

"The night is not over yet" Sebastian said suggestively, moving closer and placing one hand on Kurt's hip, scratching it with his fingers. _Thank God that's not bare skin_, Kurt thought, losing all the attitude and becoming a nervous mess under Sebastian's touch.

"_Bastian_" Kurt breathed out, noticing how dry his throat had gone.

"Tell me what you want" Sebastian demanded, firmly and gently at the same _freaking _time.

"I-I-" Kurt stammered, chills going down his spine as Sebastian's hand wouldn't stop moving. It was caressing his torso now. "This- this is" Kurt forced himself to become eloquent again, "this is not why I invited you over… you know that, right?" he asked timidly. Part of him needed Sebastian to know that Kurt didn't expect the other boy to comfort him this way. Kurt really didn't expect him to act a certain way anymore. He preferred it when Sebastian surprised him.

"What do you mean _this_?" Sebastian asked, his hand stopping its movements.

And here it was again. That feeling of cold any time Sebastian's body took distance with his own. "I mean I don't-" Kurt gulped down, "expect you to comfort me, or anything. You don't have to" he rushed to add. Suddenly, he felt ridiculous. It had sounded better on his head.

"Comfort you?" Sebastian asked full of something that Kurt read as uncertainty and disdain. He didn't like the last one. Sebastian sat himself slightly, putting more distance between him and Kurt. "Why the hell would I be trying to comfort you, Kurt?" the boy sounded taken aback.

"Oh" Kurt was surprised too. Could he no longer trust his instincts? Maybe no when it came to Sebastian. "I mean, the other night you said-"

"The other night I acted like the cheap ass I am until you told me I didn't have to" Sebastian cut him and finished the sentence for him. Kurt was surprised to see how honest Sebastian looked. "Is that what you think I'm doing here? Again?" Sebastian looked at Kurt intensely, trying to figure him out. Kurt felt kind of naked under that hard look he was being given. It kind of looked like Sebastian was hurt. "Is that how _this_ looks like?" the other boy asked.

"You're not-" Kurt gulped down. "You're not a cheap ass – Sebastian" Kurt lowered down his voice and stared at the sheets, unable to look at Sebastian right away. He wanted to say more, but the nod on his throat was back and he was feeling really stupid. Kurt felt like he had to do something though, so he grabbed Sebastian's hand, tentatively at first, then tightly. He stared at Sebastian and saw that the other boy didn't look completely comfortable yet.

"You didn't answer me" Sebastian stated coldly. "Is that how _this _looks like?" he repeated. Kurt shivered.

"I- don't know, Sebastian" Kurt admitted. "Can't I find hard to believe that you're just flirting with me?" Kurt bluntly said. "We used to disdain each other, after all" Kurt chuckled nervously.

Sebastian sighed, and Kurt was thankful to realise it wasn't an exasperated sigh, but an understanding one. The boy laid down again and got into the covers – and he did all that without letting go of Kurt's tight hold on his hand. Sebastian stayed still, looking at him while distractedly playing with Kurt's fingertips. "You've never wanted someone you disliked?" he asked.

Kurt made a confused face. "No?" he replied, rhetorically. "That doesn't make any sense. You can't like someone you dislike" Kurt explained Sebastian, although his voice wasn't as firm as he would've liked it to be.

"Who said anything about 'like'? I'm talking about _want_" Sebastian emphasised, getting slightly closer to Kurt and making him gasp. Kurt tried to cover for it by clearing his throat.

"Ahem, right" he nodded, thinking way too hard of something to say. Had he ever felt that way? Had he ever _wanted_ someone he disliked? And, above all, _for Christ's sake_, did Sebastian just say he _wanted _Kurt?

"You're thinking too much" Sebastian observed, smiling gently, yet aggressively – the kind of smile that made Kurt want to reconsider the whole way he'd been looking at the world so far. "Maybe that's why you're so tense" Sebastian commented, while rubbing both Kurt's arms softly. "… You want me to help with that?" Sebastian murmured on Kurt's ear, _accidentally_ brushing his nose with Kurt's lobe.

"How?" Kurt breathed out. _I should not have asked that, I should definitely not have asked that!_ Kurt wanted to take that _how_ back, but he noticed, terrified, that he couldn't. Apparently, his mouth had decided to go numb right now. And controlling his breathing was already a lot to deal with.

Sebastian didn't answer. Instead, he stared at Kurt for a moment, then at Kurt's neck, biting his lower lip slightly. Kurt observed Sebastian's pupils and read _that_ feeling again, unmistakable: _hunger_. Sebastian placed a hand on the front part of Kurt's neck, caressing it.

"_Damn _your skin... so pale, but firm" Sebastian's voice had reached its deepest roughness.

"Porcelain" Kurt said mindlessly. Then he realised his mouth had actually started working again. "Back in high school, they called me Porcelain." But his voice was so weak that Kurt decided to let Sebastian do the talking from now on. And, of course, Kurt blushed.

"Marble" Sebastian said instead. "Porcelain is weak – marble is… something else" the boy gave him a side smile while pressing his fingers tentatively along Kurt's neck. "Kurt?" Sebastian said, locking eyes with him.

"What?" asked Kurt. Sebastian took his own hand back, and Kurt couldn't help but wondering if he had done something wrong. _Okay_, Kurt tried to relax himself at the realisation that _he_, Kurt Hummel, _wanted_ Sebastian Smythe, a.k.a. the meerkat, to touch him. _Don't panic_.

"If we didn't know each other _already_ – I mean, if we knew each other _now_, for the first time…" Sebastian started, a little unsure. "Would you freak out this much at my touch? Or… is it just because this is me and- well, you don't like me?"

Kurt heard that, then processed it. He didn't know where to hide. Sebastian didn't look playful anymore. He didn't look vulnerable either. _God_, it was hard to read this boy.

"I-" Kurt started, but then realised he was about to give an evasive answer, and he didn't want to be a coward. Sebastian was always straight and honest with him, so why wouldn't he? "I guess I'm just… not used to this kind of _talk_, or _touch_, or whatever…" Kurt said, lowering his eyes. He didn't want to say too much either. "You feel somewhat of a stranger to me right now, Sebastian... Trust me, the years we've known each other for… it's like they counted for nothing- I-" he needed to stop again, to look at Sebastian's eyes. Kurt hoped the boy wouldn't take it the wrong way. "I think we _are_ knowing each other _now_, rather than _already._"

It looked like that was the right answer, because it made Sebastian smiled genuinely.

"I like that" he said.

"And I don't di-…" Kurt continued, unable to control himself, but regretted it the moment he opened his damn mouth. _Dammit_, didn't he know when to stop? His speech had been just fine.

"You don't…?" Sebastian asked, seeing as Kurt wouldn't continue.

"Oh, I just… I was just gonna say that I- well" Sebastian was observing him amused, and Kurt wished he had somewhere to hide rather than admitting this out loud, to Sebastian. But Kurt Hummel was not a coward! "I don't dislike you." _There_ – _it's not like it's a big deal_.

Sebastian chuckled. "Well, we're making some progress here" he joked. "From 'I don't find you boring' to 'I don't dislike you'" he smiled at Kurt. "Not bad."

Kurt blushed again. Here he was, trying not to be coward, and Sebastian had to make him feel like he was a baby instead. "Ha, ha, like you did any much better" he bit back, dignified.

"But I do" Sebastian said suggestively.

"Nah" Kurt could pick his battles, and this one he wouldn't lose "You just keep saying you find me hot, or whatever. That's so _not_ personal, meerkat" Kurt smiled pleased. "Personal is harder" he said, then thought that maybe, probably, he was better off not knowing what Sebastian thought about his persona. _Crap_, maybe he didn't want to hear it at all.

"I see" Sebastian whispered, while caressing distractedly Kurt's neck again. Kurt made a mental note to double the moisturizer dose in that particular spot. "Well, I think you overthink too much…" _here we go_, Kurt thought, "but somehow it does you good; I mean-". Sebastian's voice wasn't as firm as it was when complementing Kurt's physique. It seemed like Kurt had been right – _personal _was_ harder_. But Sebastian looked cute, so Kurt was unable to say anything mean about it. "You're a good person, Kurt" Sebastian said then, and Kurt tried hard not to freak out at this – Sebastian was clearly struggling to satisfy Kurt's whim on receiving a personal compliment, after all. It was awkward, though. "And could we please stop talking now?" Sebastian chuckled, trying to clear the air.

"Yes, please" Kurt sighed, relieved. "We're so awkward" he giggled.

Sebastian laughed briefly too, but regained himself just quickly. "Now… where were we?" he asked rhetorically. The boy came closer, unannounced, and started nipping on Kurt's neck.

Kurt gasped, taken aback. "Whoa, I could use a warning, you know meer- ahh… _Mm_" he had to stop using words because Sebastian's tongue was now caressing his neck too, and Sebastian had literally raised a hand to cover Kurt's mouth tightly, in a 'stop talking now' way. Well, not really covering it… more like pressing his fingers on Kurt's lips. Feeling 'em.

Sebastian started licking his neck, taking little bites here and there, moving freely around Kurt's throat and chin. Kurt was too shocked to do something at first. But after a few seconds, he began to feel more comfortable and pleased with Sebastian's breathing and warmth on him, so he relaxed, and started to enjoy it. _A lot_.

Sebastian's skilled tongue and lips were soft and rough at the same time, just like Sebastian's looks at him sometimes. Kurt raised a hand to feel Sebastian's head, and ran his fingers gently through the other boy's hair. It was soft, and Kurt couldn't help but grabbing it. Then he accidentally touched the back of Sebastian's ear, gaining a small moan from him. That little sound sent a chill all over Kurt's body, and Kurt knew he _needed_ to hear it again – and again, and _again_.

Not giving it a second thought, Kurt grabbed Sebastian's head and moved it aggressively to grant himself some access to said boy's ear. Sebastian casted him a surprised yet pleased look, to which Kurt did not reply. He had better things to do, like minding Sebastian's earlobe with his own tongue. Kurt gently started massaging the back, the front and every single spot of bare skin he found on Sebastian's ear, making Sebastian moan lowly and deeply. Now it was Kurt who covered the other boy's mouth.

"Shh" Kurt whispered, afraid someone might hear them. "If they hear us, the fun will be over" Kurt said, timidly. He didn't want to look desperate, but he also didn't want the fun to end, duh. And before he could realise, he was saying it out loud: "And I don't want it to be over…" then he heard himself and felt unable to continue his job on Sebastian's ear. Instead, Kurt rubbed his forehead against Sebastian's chest, freaked out by the realisation of how much _he _wanted Sebastian right now.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Sebastian asked, noticing Kurt's was hidden on his own chest. Sebastian breathed in with the weight of Kurt's head above his lungs, but didn't mind it. "Why did you stop? I'll be quiet, come on" Sebastian added fast, grabbing Kurt's arm with want.

Kurt sighed, feeling conflicted. If they kept it up that way… it wouldn't be too long before they crossed the line. The line between _despising_ each other and _relieving_ each other. It was kind of a lot to handle. "What would you say I stopped, Sebastian?" Kurt murmured, still unwilling to raise his head. Besides, now that his head was hidden and covered with Sebastian's chest, the scent was kind of hard to leave. "God, you smell _so_ good."

Sebastian chuckled. "The fun – that's what you stopped, you _tease_" Sebastian said, introducing his own fingers on Kurt's hair, caressing him gently until he reached the other boy's neck and dug Kurt's head up completely.

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Kurt asked straight ahead. He had locked eyes with Sebastian and the words had simply escaped his mouth.

Sebastian regarded him thoughtfully, running his finger along Kurt's lips. "Why wouldn't it be?" Sebastian asked. Kurt couldn't stop looking into his eyes – they were sparkling with lust, and it was hypnotic. It made Kurt desperately _want _to give in. To satisfy Sebastian. To please him. _Oh, I'm screwed_, Kurt thought.

"I want you" Sebastian continued, fiercely. Kurt gulped down repeatedly. Sebastian's voice was aggressive. "It's illogical, unpredicted, and fucking nuts" Sebastian gave him a side smile and bit on Kurt's nose – a spot he seemed to enjoy. "But I fucking want you right now, and you need to stop repressing yourself." Sebastian stated this last bit seriously, staring at Kurt so closely that the boy didn't know what to make of himself. Kurt remained hypnotised.

"I'll only say it once, so be a good boy and listen closely" Sebastian's face was only millimetres away from Kurt's, and Kurt was having a hard time not to moan or breath awkwardly, because he was laying on top of Sebastian, body heat on body heat, muscle pressed against muscle. "Tell me, are you gonna be good, Kurt?" Kurt shivered, feeling a rush of heat invading every nerve of his body, sending chills down his spine and right into his crotch. Kurt felt a tickle there, and hoped he wasn't getting hard. But Sebastian shifted a little below him, making things one thousand times worse. He nodded, to please Sebastian. _I'm screwed indeed_.

"Good. Now – I don't waste my time on convincing people to fuck me – either they want to, or they don't – no hard feelings" Sebastian continued, never leaving his hold on Kurt or unlocking his eyes. The boy freed one of his hands to caress Kurt's cheek. "I don't know if you're afraid of free, consented sex, or if you've simply never enjoyed it" he explained, gently, "but if that's the case… I can take care of that… if you let me" Sebastian kissed his cheek and Kurt did nothing but observed him at a loss for words. Sebastian's smooth voice made everything all right, somehow. And Kurt found himself just wanting Sebastian to keep talking. He was so distracted by the sound Sebastian's voice that it took him three seconds to realise Sebastian had actually just kissed him on the cheek.

"You just have to let me, Kurt, you just have to consent… and I'll take care of _this_ for you…" Sebastian said while moving down his hand to take a tight hold on Kurt's hard crotch. "… Do you want me to?"

"Fuck" Kurt mumbled against Sebastian's chest. His head had ended up there again, somehow. He breathed with difficulty while Sebastian's hand started massaging his groin. "_Bas, _God" Kurt moaned lowly, mouthing the other boy's shirt mindlessly.

"Tell me you want this" Sebastian demanded him. Kurt popped out his head, attracted by the roughness of Sebastian's voice, but also nervous as hell that the boy might mean it.

"What?" Kurt barely articulated, while Sebastian's hold got only firmer on his groin. Kurt moaned again, gasping. He was unable to look at Sebastian's eyes – he felt so freaking vulnerable it was almost embarrassing.

"_Kurt_" Sebastian repeated, grabbing Kurt's chin with his free hand and forcing Kurt to look at him. _Fuck_, even his name sounded sexier on Sebastian's voice. "Tell me you want this, or I'll never touch you again" the boy said fiercely. Kurt saw it again: the possessiveness Sebastian seemed to experience with the choices he made. Kurt wanted to feel that way too, so he looked into Sebastian's eyes, feeding on them, wanting to mimic his resolution.

"_Bas_" Kurt managed to start, and Sebastian was smirking already, pleased. "I want you to touch me" Kurt bit his lip, to stop himself from taking it back. "Please" Kurt even managed to say.

"It wasn't that hard, was it?" Sebastian smirked amused, moving his hand to undo Kurt's belt. Kurt nodded, still nervous as hell. He took a couple of deep breaths, to calm himself down. Sebastian seemed to notice, because his hands went still and he brought his eyes up to meet Kurt's again. "Hey" the boy said, with a voice Kurt did not recognised at first. It was Sebastian's ordinary, not-sexual, voice – and it was gentle. Kurt observed him confused. "I just wanted to make sure we both wanted this" Sebastian explained, placing his hands on Kurt's shoulders and rolling themselves softly so he ended up on top of Kurt now.

"I know" Kurt said, voice still unsettled. Sebastian was suddenly everywhere, surrounding him with his warmth body. Kurt relaxed a little, feeling twistedly protected by him.

"You don't have to be so nervous, then" Sebastian said, with a concerned expression. He inhaled Kurt's scent at some spot between the crook of Kurt's neck and Kurt's chin, placing soft kisses on both. "Sex can make me… rougher, sometimes – but that doesn't mean I won't treat you right" the boy said truly, making Kurt tremble for a whole different reason than he had been shivering before: Sebastian's sweetness was even more overwhelming than his suggestive talk.

"You were right" Kurt conceded, trying to take them back to the aggressive foreplay. He rather dealt with Sebastian's touches than with Sebastian's cuteness. "You _do_ make me nervous" he finished, looking away shyly.

Sebastian smiled, genuinely, and Kurt damned himself, because he wanted the arrogant, fully sexual smirk back. "Don't be" Sebastian whispered, coming closer to Kurt and capturing his lips tenderly. _Fuck this_, Kurt thought, giving in to Sebastian's gentle side.


	11. Chapter 11

Thank you so much for your reviews :) Really, you're all very kind. Specially, vulcansalute! :3

This has been the hardest chapter to write so far. Kurt's mind is way too complex to fit on a chapter x)

Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.

Ps. I don't own glee! I wish.

* * *

For a while, they simply kissed. Sebastian's hands were no longer trying to undo Kurt's belt – they had found a hold on Kurt's hips, squeezing slightly every now and then, and drawing circles with its fingers. It was a movement that seemed to put Kurt at ease, and combined with the insatiable kisses they were sharing, Kurt was floating on cloud nine.

It wasn't like the sweet kiss they had shared for the first time at Sebastian's apartment. It was less tentative and more knowing. Kurt had the same sensation, though: he felt, once again, like he was melting with Sebastian.

Kurt's mental process had become messy – suddenly it worked through _impressionist_ (he liked to think) images of warmth colours and sensations. It was so intense Kurt felt like he was somehow high. _Okay_ - not that he had been high before, but he was sure the feeling had to be quite similar.

Sometimes they stopped to catch some air, but Sebastian never granted him a break from the eye-contact duel his eyes were giving Kurt's. Not that Kurt would dare to complain.

"You look calmer now" Sebastian commented, on one of those breaks. And it was true. Kurt no longer felt like a nervous mess – he was starting to feel quite comfortable around Sebastian's touchiness. Kurt smiled at Sebastian quietly, mindlessly running a hand through Sebastian's hair. It was kind of an addictive hair. Kurt was so amazed by it that he didn't notice Sebastian had removed one hand from his hip. But he found out soon enough when he felt, again, Sebastian's hand grasping at his crotch.

It was shocking at first, because Kurt wasn't even sure he was _that _hard any more. And both boys were wearing trousers – so it wasn't exactly comfortable.

Of course, that didn't prevent his body to react at the friction. Sebastian was moving slowly on top of him, working Kurt's lower parts with one of his hands only. And it was good. Not the ideal scenario for Kurt, who usually would find action over the clothes sort of tacky and highly anti-hygienic, but it was _good_.

Then Kurt's breathing became more unsteady again, and he realised it felt more than _good_. Sebastian stared at him, biting his lower lip hard, with an expression of _want_ Kurt had never seen on anyone before. It made his whole body tremble, and it was the most powerful turn on Kurt had ever seen or felt. He had Sebastian's breath on his neck, and Kurt was quite intoxicated on the other boy's scent by now.

Sebastian picked up on Kurt's reaction to him. He mouthed Kurt's throat with wet, aggressive kisses and whispered on his ear: "Come for me, Kurt", putting said boy on the edge of orgasm. Then the boy resumed his licking on Kurt's upper chest, leaving sore skin at his pass. Kurt knew Sebastian had marked him – but he couldn't bring himself to care right this moment.

Hell, Kurt had never had action over the clothes! It was hot, and it was about enjoying the anticipation; creating it, deepening it. It made him feel like a teenager, full of hormones, and it felt _awesome_. Kurt felt like he was finally catching up with his inner teen, and it made him felt _alive_. So _alive_. Sebastian made him feel _wonderfully_ alive.

"_Bas_" Kurt moaned, while mouthing Sebastian's neck – taking a hold on it, rather than licking it. "I want you too, Bas" he whispered hoarsely on Sebastian's ear. Sebastian looked at him, ecstatic, so seriously it was kind of frightening. Then he moved so fast Kurt had no time to react – the boy grabbed both Kurt's wrists and placed them above Kurt's head, immobilising him.

Then Sebastian attacked his mouth. All tenderness was gone. They were kissing passionately, aggressively and urgently. Like it was now or never. Kurt felt a rush of euphoria creeping up his whole body, slowly, from the tip of his toes to his chest, and, for a moment, he thought his chest would explode, unable to contain it. His whole body went still, full of warm energy.

"Keep going" Sebastian demanded him, noticing Kurt's body wasn't moving anymore. Kurt hadn't even noticed it, but Sebastian's warm breath on his neck reminded him that the energy needed to be worked. Kurt ordered his body to regain itself, and let Sebastian guide their bodies together, which led to have their bodies engaged on a synchronised, heated dance. Kurt wouldn't hold on any much longer.

They both came silently, comfortably. Sebastian's body rested still on top of Kurt's, and that was okay – Kurt found himself _feeling_, rather than thinking. The few intimate moments he had shared with Sebastian seemed to have this impact on him: it changed the whole inner working of his mind. It erased sentences or phrases. It was a serene chaos, and Kurt felt like embracing it. And yes, he was still pretty high. But Sebastian felt _awesome_ on top of him.

"Kurt?" Sebastian's voice found a way out of his sore throat. It was hoarse. Kurt couldn't find his voice just yet, so he simply hummed.

Sebastian turned his head, shifting the weight on his neck so he could decompress his throat. "Can I fall asleep?" Kurt turned his head to meet Sebastian's, and the boy rushed to clear out: "I mean – how long do I have until your roommates wake up?"

Kurt looked at his wall watch and froze. It was six in the morning. Rachel would get up at eight. "Dammit" he mumbled. He didn't want to kick Sebastian out. Kurt was pretty sure neither of them were able to move a single muscle of their bodies just yet. "About two hours" Kurt said, casting Sebastian an apologetic smile.

Sebastian sighed dramatically, amused. Then he moved quickly and rolled over himself to lay down beside Kurt, liberating said boy from his weight. "It's okay. I told you I didn't crash at one night stand's" he smirked.

Kurt knew it was a joke. That Sebastian was simply being Sebastian. But he didn't like that commentary either way. Was that what Kurt was? A one night stand? Another booty call? But most of all, why did it felt wrong? _What was I expecting? _He thought.

"You think too loud, babe" Sebastian told him, cockily. Kurt frowned, a little annoyed that he was no longer safe in the intimacy of his thoughts. Sebastian was too perceptive. "That was a joke, you know" the boy explained, placing a hand on the small of Kurt's back and rubbing the spot.

Kurt turned around on the bed to face Sebastian, accidentally shaking Sebastian's hand away in the process. "What was it?" he asked. Kurt was slowly leaving the hypnotic, high trance, and doubts were starting to gather all around his mind. The emotional hangover was coming.

"The one-night-stand thing" Sebastian explained, taking his hand away.

Kurt rubbed his own forehead. He knew Sebastian was trying to be gentle. _Okay_, so _maybe_ this hadn't been a one night stand, but there was no way to know that right now. Right now, it did look a lot like a one night stand. And Kurt didn't like it. Mostly, because he didn't know what to think of himself.

"You know… I don't normally do one night stands" Kurt said, after taking a long, deep breath to grant himself some courage. "I-… The aftermaths can really give me a bad headache" he tried to joke, but felt awkward instead.

Sebastian didn't laugh. He kept staring at Kurt, attentive.

Kurt observed him and sighed. It was weird; sharing this with Sebastian was weird. But not because this was Sebastian, the meerkat – but because this was Sebastian, the boy he was finding himself conflicted for. And that was the thing with Sebastian. Sebastian would probably never be his best friend, but right now, somehow, the boy and his ever blunt honesty made him an enigmatic mix between a friend and a lover. Kurt knew the boy staring at him right that moment was the friend. Could he talk to him about the lover? Would Sebastian understand him? _Oh my_, would Sebastian mock him?

Apparently, Sebastian couldn't find it in himself not to touch him – his hand had found its way back to Kurt's back. He was not suggestively caressing it, though. This time it was for reassurance. Kurt found these little gestures quite cute. _Dammit_.

"I think I have intimacy issues" Kurt lamented out loud, unable to hide it. "I just- I think intimacy can be confusing, right?" he asked Sebastian, hoping the boy would get it.

But Sebastian simply gave him a side smile and said: "Care to elaborate?"

Kurt snorted, biting the inside of his mouth as if he could get some words from there. "Intimacy is easier when shared with… a boyfriend, a partner, or, you know, someone you have intense feelings for" Kurt explained. "Because then you know where it's coming from, and it's not confusing, is it?" Kurt asked Sebastian, whose expression was thoughtful now.

Then it hit Kurt that _maybe_ that was not the kind of intimacy Sebastian was used to share. Who was he trying to fool? 'Maybe' was an understatement.

"I think intimacy is not restricted to lovers" Sebastian said, finally, when he realised Kurt wouldn't add anything else. "And it can be very different with every particular person" he raised a hand to combed Kurt's hair with his fingers. "There's not always intimacy on one night stands – it really depends on the person, I guess, or the timing."

Kurt wondered, feeling dumb enough, if maybe he had been feeling way too much. Kurt thought that Sebastian and him were sharing intimacy. But maybe they weren't sharing it. Maybe they weren't and he was not even aware.

"I never thought there was intimacy in those scenarios, to be honest" Kurt admitted timidly, playing with his own fingers and trying not to get too lost on Sebastian's soft touch. Sometimes he had a hard time telling the other boy they had very different ways to look at things. "I mean, how do you detach yourself from that? Intimacy comes with… feelings, I think – emotions of some kind – and one night stands are not about that."

"Sometimes those emotions are as brief as the encounter itself" Sebastian supplied.

Kurt looked away, trying hard not to feel hurt. That was a really cold way to look at it. Sure, it was an enjoyable one – no emotions, no emotional hangover. And Kurt wasn't exactly a romantic but… he appreciated emotions. Those were not disposable for him. Were they so for Sebastian?

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt knew he was being too curious, but he couldn't care less. This was Sebastian, and the boy would simply tell him to fuck off if he didn't want to answer – _no hard feelings_. Sebastian nodded, intrigued, and Kurt continued. "Have you ever had intimacy with… someone you loved?" _Okay_, so this was a not-so-subtle way of asking if Sebastian had ever been in love before, but _whatever_. Something kept telling Kurt that maybe that was the reason why Sebastian could stay detached from everything. But maybe that was too restrictive.

Sebastian chuckled, knowingly. "I'm not sure I've ever loved someone" he said, but it didn't sound bitter, or cocky – it sounded real. "I'm not even sure everybody shares the same notion of what love is, or should be."

"I never thought of it as a notion" Kurt frowned. "I mean, it's a feeling" he explained. There was something about the confidence Sebastian showed when stating those things that made Kurt want to sit, at least, two metres away from the boy – to hide from him. Instead, he was practically on Sebastian's arms, and he felt exposed, because he didn't trust his body around Sebastian. Kurt kept fearing his own body would betray him and manifest how much Sebastian made him revaluate his beliefs. _What a crazy thought_.

Sebastian smiled, considering Kurt's last words. "Notions can define our feelings, Kurt."

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked quickly. He was intrigued, but he was also sort of disappointed that the conversation had gotten so abstract – so impersonal. He had dared to show Sebastian how he was feeling and Sebastian was talking about _notions_ now?

"We're educated about everything" Sebastian continued, unaffected. "It's just culture. Some of our notions, or feelings, don't even exist on other cultures" the boy stated coldly. Kurt observed him, not sure if Sebastian's coldness amazed him this moment, or repelled him. "I mean, have you never experienced that feeling of disappointment when you try something that _absolutely_ everybody described as fucking _spectacular_ and then… it just wasn't?" Sebastian asked rhetorically. "You never feel like that? Like people oversell some stuff?" he now asked Kurt. Kurt didn't answer, though. He kept staring at Sebastian instead. "And they're good at selling it because they believe it – beliefs, notions, it's the same thing" Sebastian finished his rant. Then the boy seemed to remember he had a body, and used his hands again to caress Kurt's arms. "I choose experience every time – it feels more real."

Kurt thought about it. He had experienced it. Love. Hadn't it been as good as he thought it would be? He thought it had. At least, for a while. It didn't last long, but it lasted long enough to claim itself as existent.

But he was taking everything to the same ground: feelings, emotions, love. Sebastian was talking in a general way, right?

Kurt wanted to ask the other boy if he had felt something during their encounter. _"Sometimes those emotions are as brief as the encounter itself"_. And, in that case, whether the feeling had dissolved itself with the last moan Sebastian exhaled when reaching the climax, or not. But Kurt would never dare to ask such thing.

"I'm guessing that was not what you wanted to hear" Sebastian chuckled. His detachment was starting to be annoying. The boy actually chuckled. Kurt wished time would run faster – he didn't want to kick Sebastian out, but he needed some time to be alone and digest all of that. But then Sebastian surprised him, as usual.

Sebastian's face came closer and found its way back to Kurt's cheek, rubbing his own nose against it: "Hey, don't take me too seriously." Suddenly Sebastian's warm breath was all Kurt could feel. The boy was smiling kindly, overwhelming Kurt. Then, when Kurt thought Sebastian couldn't get any more irresistible, the boy planted a bite on Kurt's nose, playfully.

Kurt felt his skin going extra sensitive all over his cheeks, nose and neck. _Dammit, I must be blushing_, he coursed internally. If Sebastian noticed that, the boy decided not to mock him.

"That's just the way I see it. I can be wrong." Sebastian continued, while snuggling up to Kurt and covering Kurt's torso with a warm arm. Kurt didn't really know how to feel now: _Do one-night-stands cuddle?_

He felt Sebastian's eyes fixed on him, waiting for Kurt's to return the look and confirm everything was okay.

"It's okay" Kurt commented, avoiding Sebastian's eyes. "You're just being honest" he added, smiling awkwardly.

"Would you prefer me not to?" Sebastian asked him, voice a little uncertain. These were the kind of moments that tumbled down all Kurt's defences and walls. Moments when Sebastian put aside his cocky self just to make sure Kurt was okay. It was quite unsettling, but it tended to make Kurt go softer instantly.

"No" Kurt said truly, a genuine smile slowly gracing his lips. "Honesty is your thing. I find it quite enviable, actually" and suddenly his own hand was on Sebastian's hair, stroking it.

"My thing" Sebastian repeated, amused. "One of my things, you mean. Besides sex" the boy clarified.

Kurt rolled his eyes at him "Yes, Sebastian. Besides sex" he chuckled.

"Well, next time, I'm gonna need you to grant me full access to your marble, sculptural skin" Sebastian whispered while grabbing Kurt's ass tightly, fiercely. "And I'm gonna need to be louder" the boy added suggestively.

"Oh" Kurt couldn't help feeling surprised at the mention – nay, confirmation, of a 'next time'. And, of course, having his delicate ass squeezed was not helping him to articulate much more than that. "Your place, then" Kurt barely whispered, then closed his eyes.

"Good" Sebastian said smirking. Then Kurt felt cold all of a sudden. He opened his eyes and saw Sebastian getting up and putting on his shoes. The boy was leaving.

"I'll walk you to the door" Kurt mumbled, sitting himself on the bed, but then a pair of strong arms were holding him still.

"That's okay, sweet cheeks" Sebastian said, then bit Kurt's lower lip playfully. "See you" the boy added, leaving Kurt's room, and the apartment. And Kurt.

/

Kurt wished he was not an over-thinker. But he was. And being alone and cold now on his bed was not helping. He had failed to express himself as clearly as Sebastian succeeded to do every time.

To say that he, Kurt Hummel, didn't normally do one-night-stands was an understatement. He didn't do them, period. That didn't mean he didn't want to, though.

He was feeling conflicted, that was all. Intimacy came with feelings, or at least that's how Kurt wanted it to be. And he wanted to have intimacy with Sebastian – had it been another random guy, Kurt might have enjoyed the idea of no strings attached. But Sebastian was not a random guy.

Also, Kurt didn't want to have feelings for him. Not right now, at least. Not only he had just ended a three year relationship, but also he had just experienced how cold Sebastian could be when talking about feelings. Or explaining that he didn't quite believe in them, to be more specific.

Then Kurt realised he'd been so focused on Sebastian's cold rant that he had forgotten something. _"That was a joke"_ Sebastian had said.

Sebastian had told him that Kurt was not a one night stand, and he hadn't even realised it! What was he, then?

Whatever the case, Kurt knew he was stepping into unknown territory. Could he keep meeting Sebastian and remained detached from their encounters? It was a stupid question to ask himself, though. Mostly, because he was already feeling attached.

Sebastian amazed him. He couldn't say this out loud, but the boy did. He might be somewhat cold when trying to get personal, but the boy had shown him he had a lot of warmth to offer. _He just shows it when getting physical_, Kurt thought. But it wasn't just about that.

If Kurt thought about it, Sebastian's commentary on Kurt's change had been the trigger to Kurt's identity crisis. Therefore, the trigger for the break-up. And Kurt kept putting attention to the things Sebastian told him. Kurt liked the way he spoke up his mind, or the way he didn't justify himself for his actions. Because it made Kurt _wonder_. Sebastian challenged him. He just had to decide whether the challenge was worth the risk.

The risk that any of what Kurt might feel, might not be mutual.


	12. Chapter 12

This chapter got completely out of hands... it's freakingly long! But anyway... I hope you guys like it ^^

I love your reviews! :3

P.S.: I don't own Glee! I wish.

* * *

"**I've realised I don't have your phone number." **

Sebastian sent Kurt this private message on Facebook four days after their night together, surprising him. Truth to be told, Kurt hadn't told anyone yet about the _weird thing_ the two boys had going on. Mostly, because he was not even sure what this thing was, and also, because he was an emotional mess these days.

Blaine was still on his mind. The former lover no longer held a prominent place on Kurt's thoughts, but the heartache was still there, somehow. Granted, Kurt was having a hard time feeling that heartache, but their love had indeed left a mark on him. And there were only so many emotions a guy could handle.

However, Kurt couldn't help but smile when he read Sebastian's PM. Dared he admit it? Kurt wanted to meet Sebastian again. He knew it was not a clever thing to do, not when he could get so easily conflicted about his own emotions. But he _really_ wanted to.

Kurt re-read the message. _Short and to the point_, he thought amused.

"**Well hello meerkat, how you've been, I've been fine, nice of you to ask me…"**

"_Sebastian Smythe is writing…" _Kurt read.

"**Your phone number ;)"**

Kurt rolled his eyes at the screen. Then sighed and typed in his number.

His phone started to ring.

"You know, I've always wondered how you spelt 'meerkat'" Kurt heard Sebastian's voice at the end of the line, arrogant. "For a while I even thought that you made up the word" the boy chuckled.

"It never occurred to you to look it up?" Kurt asked sarcastically.

"No, really – I thought you made up the word" Sebastian insisted, amused.

Kurt sighed exasperated. "I don't just make up words!" he defended.

Sebastian seemed pleased at Kurt's exasperation. "Now I know that, sweet cheeks" said the boy, suggestively.

"I don't like that nickname" Kurt argued playfully. "Whatever happened to gayface? I've kind of grown fond of it" he pouted, even if Sebastian could not see him.

"I knew you loved it" Sebastian joked, making his voice sound lower, and deeper. Kurt gulped down, avoiding hard to feel the arousal that voice usually made him feel.

"Anyway" Kurt decided to change the subject, blushing noticeably. _Thank God_ they were on the phone. "What do you want, _Sebastian_?" Kurt emphasised. Had Sebastian phoned him to chit chat?

"Mmh, you wanna know what I've noticed?" the boy didn't wait for Kurt's response. "You only call me '_Bas'_ in bed." Sebastian's tone kept going lower, and Kurt's arousal kept growing. "It's kind of hot" Sebastian added, his voice going impossibly deeper.

"I- do?" Kurt mumbled, awkwardly.

"Mhm" Sebastian made, agreeing. "I think I'll use that to know when you're turned on" he continued.

_Dear Lord, are we dirty talking?_ Kurt wondered, frantically. He had never dirty talked before. "Oh" he made, unsure of what to say. "Okay" he added nervously, trying to keep his breathing steady.

"_Damn_, Kurt - it's so easy to make you nervous" Sebastian said, but the boy wasn't laughing at Kurt. He actually sounded affected. And Kurt wondered if the arousal he was feeling could be mutual. That encouraged him to talk.

"Not everybody makes me this nervous" Kurt complimented Sebastian, feeling awkwardly tempted to play along. "But it's quite… different – refreshing even" he tentatively added. "I like it" Kurt let slip.

"Yeah?" Sebastian whispered. "What else do you like?" he demanded.

Kurt swallowed hard the nod on his throat. "I like it when you talk to me" he said, then bit his own fist and closed his eyes, unbearably embarrassed by his incapability to deny Sebastian anything.

"You like it when I tell you how much I want you?" Sebastian added quickly, not missing a single beat.

"Yeah, well-" Kurt had meant more than that. "Not just when you- talk to me suggestively – which I _do_ like, but… also- when you just… talk" _Oh God, how awkward I am?_ He mentally slapped himself.

"When I just… _talk_?" Sebastian asked, confused by Kurt's response.

"Yeah- I mean…" _Oh, crap_. "You- your voice when-…" _I'm losing it_.

"You like my voice?" Sebastian cut him, trying to figure him out.

"Yeah" Kurt rushed to add, feeling thankful. _That's less embarrassing than I like it when you talk to me about stuff_, he thought. And also, it wasn't untrue. "I like your voice" he giggled awkwardly.

Sebastian made a warm sound, like he had just breathed out. Maybe it made no sense, but Kurt thought that was the sound of Sebastian's smiles. "Okay" Sebastian said, amused.

Then they fell in silence. That unsettled Kurt, who couldn't tell if the silence was pleasant or not.

He sighed. "I suck at dirty talking, don't I?" Kurt wondered out loud, mostly to break the silence.

Sebastian chuckled. "Nah, you're just sweet, gayface. There's nothing wrong with that."

Kurt wondered if Sebastian really meant that. He doubted 'being sweet' could count as 'appropriate' for dirty talking.

"I like it" Sebastian added, and Kurt saw all his doubts disappear – he even imagined those as balloons, being punctured by Sebastian's words.

_You're just sweet… I like it_. Kurt felt a warm smile climbing up his lungs. Then, up his throat. And then, making a triumphal exit through his lips. "When am I seeing you?" he asked, unwilling to deal with how little he cared anymore about his doubts and insecurities towards Sebastian. For once in a long time, Kurt was feeling accepted just the way he was. And that was all that mattered.

"How about this afternoon?" Sebastian suggested.

"I have a double shift at the diner" Kurt lamented. _Dammit_.

"When you're done, then" the other boy said. "I can pick you up and grab a bite there. I'm actually quite curious about the place" Sebastian chuckled. Kurt freaked out a bit but recovered himself fast enough.

"Oh – that could work" Kurt answered, somewhat nervously. _That could so not work_, he thought. Santana would be there. And his co-workers. But mostly, _Santana_ would be there. Then why the hell did he agree? Kurt panicked. "Although, you know- it's school night" he said, feeling stupid enough. They weren't in high school anymore.

Sebastian laughed. "So what?"

"Oh. Nothing- I just, well, I wake up really early in the mornings" Kurt tried to disguise.

"Kurt, we don't have to meet tonight" the boy chuckled, like he knew this wasn't a good idea for Kurt, somehow. _Damn his perception_, Kurt mentally coursed. "Text me whenever you want, okay?" Sebastian added, patiently.

"But I want to meet tonight…" Kurt said, lowly. He knew he wasn't making any sense for Sebastian. _Okay, just say it_. "Look, it's just that- Sebastian… do you remember Santana?" Kurt asked, tentatively.

"Oh" Sebastian said, then went mute.

"You do" Kurt deduced. "I know it's silly, but she works with me at the diner, and… well, she's also one of my roommates… _and_ my life would be _so much_ easier if I could avoid her instigating interrogatories" Kurt cut his rant short, wondering if he sounded childish.

"Right" Sebastian added after a few seconds, understanding. "She's not my biggest fan, if I recall correctly. I guess it wouldn't be a good idea" the boy commented sadly. _Sadly?_ Was Kurt losing it… or did Sebastian sound disappointed?

Kurt noticed he wasn't really explaining himself too well, but the mere image of Santana going full of accusations on him made him wanna call off their plans. So he really didn't have much of a choice. "So, anyway, can I meet you at your place?"

"My place?" Sebastian asked, sounding confused. "I mean- sure, if you want to" Sebastian said, but he didn't seem as certain as he usually did.

"Oh, I just thought- Where else could we meet?" Kurt asked, also feeling uncertain.

Sebastian chuckled. "I don't know… a bar?" the boy suggested ironically.

Then it hit Kurt. He had assumed Sebastian would want to go somewhere they could get physical. But why? Seriously, why did he keep assuming things? He actually slapped his own forehead. _Fix this, you idiot_.

"Sure! Right- a bar would be great" Kurt commented cheerily. Maybe too cheerily. _Okay, don't overdo it_. "The Irish pub was awesome, by the way. Thank you for that" he added timidly.

"I'm glad you liked it" said Sebastian, truly.

They fell in silence, again, although this time was kind of pleasant. Kurt's mind wandered back to the Irish pub, and he found himself smiling.

"Kurt?" Sebastian suddenly asked. Kurt startled, remembering they were on the phone.

"Yeah?" Kurt said quickly.

"I like your voice too" Sebastian said calmly, unexpectedly. Kurt's eyes went wide with shock, and he felt extremely grateful for the invention of telephones. Otherwise, he'd had to control his reactions right now.

Since Sebastian could not see him, he tumbled into his bed, unable to move a single muscle. He was petrified. "You do?"

"I do" Sebastian stated, like it was no big deal. "Especially when you whisper things like 'I want you' on my ear. You know how hot that was? I cannot take that image from my mind" Sebastian's voice sounded aroused, again.

Kurt remembered the scene. He had been unable to think of anything else during those four days. Something had woken up inside him when having his body so tightly pressed against Sebastian's. Sebastian's neck was quite the eighth wonder.

"I'd do it again. As many times as you wanted me to." Kurt had no idea what possessed him to say that. But his whole mind was floating far away from there. His mind was on Sebastian's bed right now, to be more specific. _God, what's happening to me? _

"_Damn, Kurt_, you have no idea what you're doing to me" Sebastian said hoarsely, more affected than ever. Kurt almost felt bad – but then he realised that maybe Sebastian was affected in a _good _way. Kurt wasn't entirely sure of that, though.

"Something good, I hope?" Kurt asked timidly.

Sebastian breathed out, making that sound again that Kurt read as the sound of Sebastian's smiles. "Yes. Something good, trust me" the other boy chuckled.

Kurt smiled like an idiot. "I'm glad, then" he said, mouth full.

Then Kurt had the craziest idea. Maybe it was the hormones – maybe it was Sebastian's intoxicating confidence, but he wanted to take Sebastian up on the offer of picking him up at the diner.

"You know what? Screw Santana. Meet me at the diner" he said before he could regret it.

There was a silence. "… You're sure about that?" Sebastian asked him. "Really, we can meet somewhere else."

"I am" Kurt assured him, although he had no idea where all his certainty was coming from. He only knew he just hadn't in himself to turn down Sebastian's offer on anything right now. Because he didn't want to, mostly. "You're gonna hate the place. It'll be fun" Kurt joked.

Sebastian laughed. "All right, then" he paused, then breathed out (_smiled_, Kurt imagined). "See you later, gayface."

"See you, meerkat" Kurt said.

/

Okay, so maybe that hadn't been Kurt's finest idea. Kurt felt freaking nervous during the whole first shift, unable to really focus at work. More than once his boss asked him if everything was okay with him, and more than twice he found Santana eyeing him suspiciously.

On their second break, Santana grasped Kurt's arm and took him outside, not even giving him a warning.

"Spill" she demanded Kurt, whose face had gone pale. He was screwed and he knew it.

Except that he wasn't, because he was also feeling very proud of himself. He was making his own choices rather than trying to please everybody.

"I'm meeting Sebastian here in half an hour" Kurt stated, suddenly experiencing a strength he didn't know he had in himself.

"I knew it!" Santana screamed. "I knew there was something odd about that!" she accused Kurt, while pointing to her forehead, where it was supposed to be placed her third Mexican eye.

Kurt rolled his eyes at her. "Whatever. Are you done?" he asked coldly.

"Wow. Who would have guessed, the lady grew a pair" Santana remarked maliciously. Kurt narrowed his eyes at her, annoyed, then turned around to leave, but the girl wouldn't let him. "All right, all right, Kurt" she insisted. "Tell me, why are you doing this?"

"What?" Kurt asked confused. _What am I doing, exactly? _He wondered – Santana didn't know that much about Sebastian and him.

"I can only think of two options" the girl continued, as if she hadn't heard Kurt, "either the horse-teeth slut drugged you, or – and I really hope it's not this one – you're doing this to get back at Blaine, which is so not cool, Hummel. Trust me, I'd be all for giving the dwarf a taste of his-"

"Santana!" Kurt cut her. He had heard enough non-sense. "You're absolutely wrong! _God_, you could not be any more wrong" Kurt sighed. Explaining this would be harder than he had imagined. "First of all, you don't even know what I'm doing" he protested.

"Oh, but I do, Kurt. This has 'cheap sex' written all over the place" she moved her hand exaggeratedly on a gesture full of attitude.

That hit a nerve on Kurt. He would not have it. "Okay, second: you're gonna need to be nicer when he's here" Kurt demanded her, eyeing the girl furiously. Santana was taken aback by the bitchy glare Kurt was giving her. "And third: Sebastian is not cheap" he stated this last bit fiercely. "You may go mind your own business now" Kurt said, trying to calm himself down.

_Wow_. Not even four weeks ago, Kurt would have agreed and laughed along when hearing that Sebastian was cheap. Santana's reaction was actually quite understandable. But that didn't mean it was justified – Kurt had learnt. Now, he knew better than to judge Sebastian. Now, he found himself defending the boy from those who made the same mistake. But how could he explain that to Santana?

Santana regarded him at awe. "What the actual _hell_, lady pants? Do you actually _like_ the little slut?" she asked, perplexed.

Kurt didn't know where to hide. He hadn't dared to ask that question to himself yet. _Do I?_ "Not now, Santana" he pleaded, feeling suddenly really uncomfortable. Kurt was starting to realise that it had been some very intense weeks, and maybe he was not granting himself enough time to deal with all of it.

But he wouldn't regret having Sebastian over at the diner. At least, not when the boy would be there any minute. Right now, he would ignore Santana and all the questions that needed to be answered – not to her, but to himself.

/

About twenty minutes later, Kurt spotted a pair of green eyes and a bright smile looking right back at him. The minute he saw Sebastian entering the diner, Kurt remembered why he had felt that rush of confidence when telling the boy to come over. Kurt just wanted to see him. As simple as that. And he felt instantly warmer.

Kurt approached the boy cheerfully. "Hey" Kurt greeted him, grinning.

"Hey yourself" Sebastian said back, playful. "You were right" Sebastian commented, casting him an apologetic look, then he came closer to whisper something on Kurt's ear while placing his hand on Kurt's forearm: "I hate the place already." Sebastian chuckled and took a step back. "It's so tacky" he joked.

Kurt laughed along. "I told you!" He agreed. "You want a table? Or you wanna wait for me at the bar? It'll be fifteen minutes top, I promise" Kurt assured him.

"The bar sounds fine" said the other boy.

Kurt walked Sebastian to the bar and passed him a menu: "I'll give you a minute" he chuckled nervously. Kurt turned around to attend another table, but came across Santana mid-way there. The girl simply raised an eye-brow at him, challenging him to stop her. Then Kurt saw her approaching Sebastian.

"Kiddo, those eggs are getting cold!" a cheeky old man shook Kurt out of his trance. Then Kurt watched his own hand, noticed the trays and realised he had yet some work to do.

_Sebastian can take her_, Kurt thought. It was very unlikely that Sebastian would need his help, right? He hurried to deliver the food on the trays, though, almost tripping with his own feet twice.

When he was done, Kurt found Sebastian alone. No sign of Santana whatsoever. He frowned, looking around, expecting to find her hidden somewhere. Sebastian turned around and caught Kurt's detective-like expression.

"What are you doing?" the boy asked amused.

"Nothing!" Kurt startled. "You wanna order?" he offered instead.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him, in disbelief. But Kurt showed him his best poker face. "Santana took my order" Sebastian said.

Kurt's poker face fell. "She what?!" he asked Sebastian with an unpleasantly piercing tone.

Sebastian chuckled. "She took my order" he repeated, slower.

Kurt didn't get it. "Oh" he made while rubbing his own forehead. "Okay" he smiled awkwardly. "Was she her usual lovely self?"

"Yep" Sebastian answered sarcastically, but didn't return the look. He looked really interested in the menu all of a sudden. Kurt found it suspicious.

"Mmh" Kurt made, nodding. "I'm sure she was" he played along.

"Fifteen minutes, you said?" Sebastian asked him, playing the disinterested.

"I hope so" Kurt offered with less confidence than Sebastian apparently wanted to see.

"Do me a favour?" Sebastian asked again, still focused on the menu. "Keep an eye on my food? While she's there… in the kitchen?" he looked at Kurt then, face full of terror.

"_Oh dear Gaga_, what did she say to you?!" Kurt asked, panicking now.

Then Sebastian laughed, openly. "I'm messing with you, Kurt."

Kurt slapped Sebastian's shoulder, outraged, but relaxed a bit. He was sure Santana had said something harsh to Sebastian, though. If she hadn't yet, she would do it eventually. "She gave you a hard time, then?" Kurt asked again, more seriously.

"Don't sweat" Sebastian dismissed Kurt's concern. "I can take care of myself. Though I'm flattered you're worried" the boy added and winked.

"You'd be worried too if you knew her as I do…" Kurt murmured. "Well… see you in a bit" he promised.

Kurt hurried to the kitchen, knowing that Santana wouldn't be shy about how she attacked the other boy.

"So… what will it be?" Kurt asked, cautiously pacing the kitchen. "Spit on his food… or his drink?"

Santana snorted. "Please" she rolled her eyes. "The slut is not worth losing my job, Hummel."

"Okay, stop calling him that" Kurt pointed an accusing finger at her, "and tell me what the hell you did – or are about to do" he asked suspiciously, looking around the kitchen.

"Nothing, nothing" Santana said calmly, moving her hand in a way that looked like she was impersonating Mother Theresa. "I simply gave him a friendly reminder."

_Sweet Gaga_, Kurt gulped down. "Which was…?"

But Santana ignored him. She approached Kurt and gently patted his back, making him feel patronised. "Leave that to Auntie Snixx."

/

The longest fifteen minutes of Kurt's life went by tensely. He was getting orders all the time, so he could barely keep an eye on Sebastian. _This wasn't a good idea_, he found himself thinking every time he saw Santana near the other boy. But then he would lock eyes with Sebastian, who would smile at him warmly, and… then Kurt would forget what he was so scared about.

When he finally exited the bathroom wearing a decent outfit, Sebastian was taking out his wallet.

"No, no, no" Kurt rushed to stop him, grabbing Sebastian's hand. "I already took care of this. My treat" he said cheerily.

"Thanks, sweet cheeks" Sebastian said. "Shall we go, then?" he asked, getting up.

"Please" Kurt added frantically, directing them to exit the place. "And I told you I don't like 'sweet cheeks'!" Kurt protested.

Sebastian simply smirked, placing his arm around Kurt's shoulders to grant himself better access to Kurt's neck and ear. "That's what you always say at first…" Sebastian whispered, amused.

Kurt blushed, because he knew it was true. He had ended up liking some things Sebastian did that he used to disdain. Or the boy himself. _Did I just admit that I like the meerkat?_ He wondered, freaked out.

"You're gonna tell me what Santana did to you?" Kurt asked, forcing a must needed change of subject.

"Jeez – relax, Kurt" Sebastian said while squeezing Kurt's arm. "She didn't threaten my life or anything" he joked.

Kurt rolled his eyes, although he liked how Sebastian's hand felt on his arm. "That's not what I'm worried about… she can be incredibly harsh when she wants to" Kurt admitted, giving the boy an apologetic smile.

Sebastian smiled, looking noticeably amused. "And I can't?" he asked.

Kurt regarded him for a moment. _Right_, he had somehow forgotten how harsh Sebastian could be. Maybe it was Santana that he needed to be worried about.

"Were you…?" Kurt asked, shocked. "Harsh on her?" he added, when he noticed Sebastian looked confused.

"Would you be upset if I was?" Sebastian asked him, contemplating him seriously. Kurt felt like Sebastian was testing him.

The thing he liked the most about Sebastian is how accepted the boy made him feel. Kurt could be himself all the time. Wouldn't it be unfair to deny Sebastian the freedom to be himself too? And most of all, wouldn't that spoil whatever they had?

Kurt bit his lip. He knew Sebastian could see he had doubts. So he chose to be honest. "I wouldn't love it" he admitted. "But that'd be your call, not mine" he added, staring at Sebastian with resolution.

Sebastian observed him with an unreadable expression. So Kurt tried to clear the tense air. "_Anyway_" he cleared his throat and smiled nervously, "I don't really know why I was so worried – after all, Santana and you are not that different" Kurt joked.

"I'm sure I'm not gonna like this, but why is that?" Sebastian asked, regaining his usual arrogant expression.

Kurt giggled. "I actually meant it in a good way, idiot." He mindlessly put his hand on the small of Sebastian' back, feeling calmer. Kurt didn't usually give public shows of affection – he really had to feel very comfortable to do so, or unaware of himself. "She surprised me too. For the better" he added.

Then Kurt saw it again. Those brief moments when Sebastian didn't know what to do, or say, after receiving a compliment. And suddenly Kurt was very aware of his own words and actions again.

Kurt awkwardly took his hand back, and used it to comb his own hair instead, to disguise the gesture. "I mean – there's more to both of you than the harshness" Kurt added frantically. "She's a really good friend" he nodded nervously, to confirm it. "And… well- you're- not bad either" Kurt giggled nervously.

Sebastian gave him a side smile, then his expression got a little serious. "Kurt, I never-" he started, but it seemed like he was having a hard time finding the right words. He looked at Kurt, no signs of a smirk, a smile or suggestive faces of any kind. Just _Sebastian_. "I never apologised properly for how I mistreated you in high school" Sebastian finally said. Kurt widened his eyes.

"Oh- Sebastian, you don't have to-" Kurt started, but Sebastian cut him.

"But I do" Sebastian insisted, looking noticeably uncomfortable. "I was an asshole" he chuckled briefly, even though he didn't look amused. He looked nervous. "The other night, when you said we were starting to know each other now… I realised – we can't just do that. It's like you overlooked the fact that I never apologised to you" Sebastian explained, astonished. "I also judged you prematurely back in the day, Kurt" he said, staring right at him. "I'm sorry for that."

Kurt didn't even know what to say. He was puzzled. The boy in front of him was definitely not the boy he met in high school. He realised, little by little, that Sebastian's current self was making up so fast for his old one, that soon enough Kurt wouldn't even remember he used to disdain Sebastian. The speed of the whole process overwhelmed him. But mostly, Sebastian's generous smile overwhelmed him.

Kurt's thumbs were rubbing Sebastian's forearms before he could stop them. "It wasn't that bad" Kurt smiled kindly, while comforting Sebastian with his own hands. "But I appreciate it. Though I had already forgiven you" he assured Sebastian, shyly.

Sebastian gave Kurt one of his brightest smiles. One of those Kurt thought that could lighten up the dark. _Dear Gaga, what's happening?_

/

"Why are we doing this, again?" Kurt asked Sebastian, while sitting reluctantly on the suspiciously sticky red seat. They were in some old cinema which was only used to play erotic movies now. Yes, that was right. _Erotic _movies.

Sebastian looked at Kurt excitedly and run a hand over said boy's neck, feeling it. "I told you – it's gonna be fun" he smirked.

"Oh Sweet Gaga, why did I even listen to you?" Kurt whispered frantically, getting more uncomfortable any second. If the room wasn't tacky and filthy enough, it was more crowded every minute, and the guys entering it did not look good at all. Most of them came by themselves, and there were only two other couples, sat strategically at the back of the room. _Real couples_, Kurt corrected himself, _not 'other couples'_.

"Kurt…" Sebastian whispered, caressing gently Kurt's thigh. "I promise you, I'm gonna make this good, _okay_?" he asked this last bit on Kurt's ear, making the boy shiver. Kurt did not want to know what Sebastian meant. He simply gulped down and nodded nervously. "Good. You just need to trust me" Sebastian added, then bit Kurt's chin.

"Hey!" Kurt whispered, looking everywhere to see if there was any pervert watching them. "Don't give them any extra material, Sebastian" Kurt told him off.

Sebastian chuckled. "Our raw is empty, Kurt. And these seats are high enough to hide what we're doing" he explained on a calmed tone, pressing a little further his fingers on Kurt's thigh.

Kurt was shocked. "You're not suggesting what I think you're suggesting, right?" Kurt looked at him astonished, terrified even. "Please, Sebastian" he squeezed the other boy's hand, "tell me this is not why you brought me here" he pleaded.

Kurt felt incredibly uncomfortable with the whole situation. He would not share his private, sexual life with strangers. _No freaking way_.

Sebastian took in Kurt's anxiety and looked a little astonished himself. "I wouldn't force you to do anything you didn't want to, Kurt" he said sincerely. But he didn't deny he was suggesting that – Kurt realised. Maybe Sebastian was a little bit of an exhibitionist. "And no, that's not why I brought you here" Sebastian continued.

"Then why did you?" Kurt rushed to ask.

Sebastian sighed, running a hand through his own hair. "Have you ever watched… 'Taxi Driver'?" he asked Kurt.

Kurt shook his head as to say 'no'. Sebastian squeezed his knee. "Okay. Well, there's this scene, when Robert De Niro brings his hot date to the movies… and it's a movie theatre just like this one" he chuckled.

"You mean… _adult themed_?" Kurt supplied.

"Exactly" Sebastian agreed, staring at him like an excited little kid. "Of course, she's very reluctant. Just like you. And also, it's their first date. They barely know each other" Sebastian kept explaining, like it was the funniest thing ever. Kurt couldn't hide his face of displeasure. "So when the movie starts and she can't take it anymore, she leaves the room, outraged" Sebastian chuckled, lowly.

"I really can't understand you right now" Kurt said, unsure of whether to laugh or not. "Oh" he made then, startling. He even shifted his weight nervously on his seat. "Is that what you expect me to do?" he asked, a little anxious. _Oh my, is this a trap?_

"What?- No!" Sebastian looked really amused. He took Kurt's hand to stop Kurt from getting up. "I was actually kind of hoping that you would stay and watch the movie with me" the boy added, somewhat nervously.

Kurt casted him a confused look. "Then why did you tell me that? If not to scare me away…" he murmured the last part, and sat himself properly again.

"Well, I…" Sebastian stared at Kurt at a loss for words. "I really don't know" he chuckled. "I guess I just… I've always wanted to do the same, you know? I mean, how awkward is to bring someone here, right?" he actually asked Kurt, almost laughing, as if Kurt was not that _someone_ he had brought there. Kurt was puzzled. He didn't even know what to say. "But the craziest part is, the guy didn't even know what he had done wrong. He actually thought that bringing his date here was the greatest idea ever" Sebastian explained, and this time he couldn't suppress a laugh.

"He _what_?" Kurt asked rhetorically, astonished.

"That's right" Sebastian nodded, amused. "So who was the victim there, huh? No one told the poor guy what a terrible idea that was."

"Sebastian" Kurt tried to keep a serious face, even though he wanted to slap the boy in front of him. "What did you actually learn from that story?"

"The girl couldn't see he was a misfit, Kurt" Sebastian stated, looking amazed indeed by the story. "She thought the guy took her for an easy woman" Sebastian looked at Kurt expectantly, but Kurt hadn't still quite got it. "I've always fantasied about coming here and succeeding to make someone stay and appreciate the movie" he turned around to look forward, to the screen. "The guy just liked these movies, that's all."

Kurt observed him. Sebastian was being serious – he simply enjoyed the idea of watching the movie and putting himself on _the poor guy_'s shoes. Kurt thought this was the most bizarre decision he had ever made, but something about Sebastian's excitement made him wanna play along.

"Okay. Let's watch it" Kurt whispered, squeezing Sebastian's knee. Sebastian turned around to face him again, grinning like an idiot. "But no touching above the thigh, meerkat" Kurt threatened him. There was a limit.


	13. Chapter 13

As usual, thank you for reading and your reviews :)

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

P.S.: I don't own Glee.

* * *

The movie wasn't so bad. And, much to Kurt's surprise, they were actually watching it. Sebastian's hand never left Kurt's thigh, though. The boy didn't try to break Kurt's rule of 'no touching above the thigh', and it also didn't seem like he wanted to. It actually looked like Sebastian appreciated the movie – there were moments when Kurt even forgot it was an erotic one, to be honest. Both boys were quite attentive to the screen.

Truth to be told… Kurt wasn't exactly hating the movie either. Granted, there was a lot of sex involved, but it wasn't as awkward as Kurt thought it would be. He couldn't exactly say why: maybe, because Sebastian and he had already been _sort of_ intimate. Or maybe, because the movie was actually good. And the sex… well, the sex scenes were also artistic.

It wasn't tacky, or exaggerated… it even seemed like the argument needed them. The movie needed to be rough, and physical – and erotic. It seemed only natural. Just like Sebastian's hand on his thigh – or Sebastian's lips on his own.

Sometimes _life_ needed to get physical, and that was… okay – Kurt was learning.

"Oh my God…" Sebastian mumbled while rubbing his own forehead with incredulity.

Kurt looked at him confused.

"You're so embarrassing I don't even know what to do with you!" the boy said while chuckling, raising a hand to catch one tear that had escaped Kurt's eye.

Kurt felt Sebastian's hand against his _wet_ cheek and froze. He hadn't even realised he was crying.

"Oh" Kurt made, feeling embarrassed indeed. "Oh my…" he added, hiding his own face on his hands.

Then he felt Sebastian's hand stroking his hair affectionately. He was still chuckling, but it was kind of a sweet gesture. Kurt opened an eye shyly and regarded Sebastian carefully. The boy's attention was on the screen.

Kurt sighed, relieved. "I can't believe I'm crying over an erotic movie" he mumbled, casting Sebastian an awkward smile.

"Oh, I'm pretty sure you cry over _all kind_ of movies all the time" Sebastian bit back cheekily.

"I do" Kurt admitted, uncovering his face and allowing himself to laugh at the situation. He was empathising with the protagonist a little too much, but he could not help it. His emotions could not tell the difference between that movie and an ordinary one. "It's quite an artistic movie" he commented.

Sebastian regarded him with curiosity and excitement. "It is, right?" he asked, clearly pleased at himself. The boy actually looked like a nerd. He was wearing a beautiful pair of black glasses that suited him _adorably_ – Kurt had found himself noticing.

Kurt smiled at him and nodded, then turned his attention to the movie again, willing to dive in it just as intensely as he had been doing before.

"I can't wait to try some of those" Sebastian whispered on Kurt's ear, then pointed his head towards the screen for visual help, where a love-making scene was taking place. Kurt shivered. Sebastian had just infested his head with way too many vivid images of a very suggestive Sebastian. Kurt gave him a quick look and realised that adorably-nerdy-Sebastian was gone. He only saw smirking-sexual-Sebastian sitting there.

Kurt gulped and felt his thigh burning in the spot where Sebastian's hand was resting. He shook Sebastian's hand almost unconsciously, out of nervousness.

"That's okay, gayface. We have all night." Sebastian whispered again.

/

But did Kurt want to try 'some of those'? He still was quite uncertain about how to act on the _huge_ attraction he felt towards Sebastian. Even if he could appreciate the idea of mindless sex, or 'having a fuckbuddy', he did not believe in that. Kurt had never pictured himself as someone who could enjoy that. But what if he was wrong?

On the other hand, had he not been engaged only two weeks ago, he might even consider letting himself feel or fall for someone new. But he was not ready for that either.

_Dear Gaga_, which other option did he have, then? He spent the whole ride to Sebastian's apartment studying the situation like a crazy person. He _wanted_, like _really_ wanted, to go to that apartment. But could he be so careless about the aftermaths?

The two boys got off the car and Sebastian grabbed Kurt's ass casually. "Mm, this must be the unofficial eighth wonder" the boy said, sounding affected.

They entered the elevator and Kurt turned around to face him. "I'm pretty sure that'd be your neck" he commented somewhat shyly, but not as shyly as he would've felt only a week before. _I'm making some progress_, Kurt thought with irony.

Sebastian walked predatorily towards him, cornering Kurt against the mirror of the elevator.

"Really?" Sebastian asked, roughly, placing his hands on both Kurt's sides. Kurt felt instantly warmer with Sebastian's hands on him, and already tempted to go _there_. But it wasn't so simple. Unfortunately, _he _wasn't so simple.

Kurt couldn't bring himself to speak his mind just yet, though, so he'd just nod and cast Sebastian a cheeky smile for now.

Sebastian bit Kurt's nose, then placed a wet kiss on the sore spot. "Or your nose" he suggested, amused.

Kurt shook his head to disagree, and giggled mindlessly. "Nope. It's your neck" he insisted. And Sebastian's neck was so damn _close_. _God_, that smell. Those freakingly perfect freckles – they were everywhere.

Sebastian threw his head backwards, to grant Kurt a better access to said place. "You can have it" the boy told him seriously, then locked eyes with Kurt to confirm it. Kurt looked at those emerald eyes and tried to read 'em. There was something there, but he wasn't entirely sure what. It annoyed him – his disability to read Sebastian's looks most of the time. This time, though, Kurt thought it was trust, and he was taken aback by the sincerity of it. Did Sebastian trust him? Should he not? Should he trust Sebastian?

"Stop thinking" Sebastian demanded him, grasping one of Kurt's hands to caress it with his own thumb.

Kurt nodded, feeling as if, somehow, Sebastian knew exactly what his inner struggle was exactly about.

Then Kurt did just as told – he stopped thinking, and two seconds later he was grabbing Sebastian by the shoulders to bring him closer and kiss him. With want. With urgency. With everything he had.

It was like recharging his batteries. The second he had his mouth on Sebastian's, Kurt felt immediately revived. And Sebastian was quite responsive too. The boy brought Kurt impossibly closer and pressed his body against Kurt's passionately. Kurt let slip a moan. Sebastian bit Kurt's lower lip.

"We're almost there" the boy whispered on Kurt's ear, then nibbled the earlobe thoroughly.

Kurt let him. And, for a brief moment, he felt like letting Sebastian do with him whatever the boy wanted. But they reached Sebastian's floor and the elevator doors opened abruptly, putting Kurt out of his trance and granting him a few seconds to realise what was about to happen.

Sebastian put some distance between them, taking out his keys and exiting the elevator. The boy turned around to check on Kurt, casting him a genuine smile. Kurt followed him, though his mind was slowly exiting the mood. The arousal was decreasing and the doubts were rising.

By the time they reached Sebastian's apartment door, Kurt was frozen. Sebastian unlocked the door and came in, holding it opened for Kurt to pass. Kurt looked at him and coursed himself for not seeing this one coming: he was not ready for this. And he only had the absolute certainty that he wasn't now that they were about to enter the apartment. _I'm a tease_, he thought sadly, rubbing his own forehead with exasperation.

"Kurt… there's a number of times I can tell you to stop thinking" Sebastian said, and Kurt noticed he was about to end Sebastian's patience.

"I know" Kurt sighed. "I really don't know what's wrong with me, though" he commented, frustrated. "I really wanted this" he said, feeling more honest than he had in a while.

Sebastian stared at him, with a serious expression that made Kurt both wanna take back all his words and run the hell out of there. The boy took a step closer, closing the door behind him and examining Kurt intensely. "_This_?" Sebastian asked rhetorically, with that tone Kurt found unquestionable. "I don't think you have the slightest clue what _this_ could be, gayface" and for a moment Kurt thought he was having a déjà vu.

The boy in front of him sounded harsh but not playful. And he was looking predatorily at him. It was like having an encounter with the old Sebastian – the harshness he used to show Kurt, but the look he used to give Blaine. It was confusing. Had Kurt pissed him off somehow?

Sebastian took yet another step towards Kurt, trapping him against the hall wall. Kurt didn't quite know whether to feel turned on or scared. Was this what Sebastian meant when he said that sex could make him rough? Or was the boy simply gonna kick him out of there? Kurt really couldn't tell.

"Sebastian?" Kurt asked, insecurely. He gulped and took a deep breath, trying to regain himself.

"Let me be clear. The other night – that was simply an appetizer" Sebastian stated, staring right at him with resolution. Then he brushed his nose against Kurt's ear smoothly to add right there: "Tonight, though… _this_" Sebastian emphasised, running a hand all the way up from Kurt's thigh to Kurt's ass cheek. "I'm not gonna stop 'til I reduce you to a bunch of nerves and moans. I'm gonna make you come so hard you'll even forget how to think and the only words you'll manage to articulate will be _Bas_ and _please_" then the boy bit Kurt's earlobe and brought his eyes to meet Kurt's again.

Kurt was no longer thinking. His whole brain was filled with whispers of _Bas _and _please_. He could picture himself already saying those words. _Dammit_, he wanted to say 'em. And mostly, he wanted Sebastian to keep his word. _Scratch that_, he wanted _Sebastian. _Period. More than ever. More than he had ever wanted anything or anyone before.

Kurt placed his hands timidly over Sebastian's chest, running his fingers around the spot and capturing Sebastian's shirt collar. He tried to raise his eyes to meet Sebastian's, but had to stop midway, somewhere around Sebastian's jawbone. It was so inviting, and there was this little, almost invisible freckle that Kurt could swear it was talking right to him. He wanted to bite that skin spot and dive into an exhaustive exam of the area. He wanted to study Sebastian's skin thoroughly. Relentlessly.

Then Kurt felt Sebastian's hand grabbing his chin to get his attention. Apparently, he had spent more than a few seconds mesmerised by Sebastian's freckle and all that freckle implied. Kurt locked eyes with Sebastian, who looked expectant.

"Kurt, babe… Am I coming on too strong?" the boy asked, regarding Kurt intensely – Kurt almost felt like Sebastian was studying him. He gulped.

Kurt shook his head quietly, gathering some courage. "I'm still trying to get used to…" he paused, letting go of Sebastian's shirt collar to caress Sebastian's neck instead "you."

Sebastian rested his head on Kurt's shoulder and inhaled hard. Kurt felt the spot getting warmer. It felt really _nice_. Then Sebastian run his nose all the way up Kurt's neck, stopping when reaching the cheek to place a wet, full of want, kiss. "I want you to feel comfortable around me."

Somehow, Sebastian's gentle, sweet side was out again, at display. And it was a side of him that overwhelmed Kurt even more than the aggressiveness the boy displayed when getting physical. It was kind of an _irresistible_ mix. _Dammit_. Kurt kept caressing Sebastian's neck, feeling the place and creating his own anticipation.

"I'm getting there" Kurt nodded, nervously, wishing more than ever to sound convincing enough. He hated that his own doubts and insecurities could have this impact on Sebastian, making the boy slow down his natural, fearless speed.

Sebastian's lips moved imperceptibly to the side, showing what it looked like a _shy_ smile. _Shy?_ Kurt meditated it, but before he could give it a second thought those lips were on his own, kissing him gently for a few seconds. When the kiss was over, Sebastian took Kurt's hand on a tight hold, bringing the boy back to the door.

Sebastian took out his keys again, but this time he looked at Kurt before unlocking the door, needing some confirmation – or so Kurt thought. Kurt nodded briefly, casting Sebastian a furtive smile, but the boy didn't proceed to unlock the door.

"Kurt" the boy started, regaining his usual confidence and tone. Kurt felt immediately at ease. "I want you to come in, but – pressure's off, okay?" Sebastian told Kurt, kindly. "I just want you to come in" he promised.

Kurt regarded Sebastian somewhat confused. Did that mean Sebastian wasn't inviting him over to… _do it_?

Sebastian sighed when he noticed Kurt looked lost. "Meaning it'll be a blast if I get to do _you_, but if not, it'll be just as fun. I promise" Sebastian explained impatiently. And Kurt realised the boy was not entirely comfortable showing that sweet side of himself that often.

Kurt smiled, unable to find Sebastian anything but _cute_ right that moment. "You say the sweetest things, meerkat" Kurt joked, trying to get on Sebastian's nerves.

"And you are a _tease_" Sebastian bit back, unlocking the door.

/

Sebastian had style – no matter how hard Kurt tried to think otherwise in the past, he could no longer be on denial. His whole apartment was insanely classy. It was quite obvious that the boy had not put as much time or care as Kurt had into decorating his own, but maybe that was precisely what made the apartment so… _effortless_.

Last time Kurt was there, they merely stayed in the living room. This time though, apparently Sebastian felt like showing him around. It was crazy – there were books everywhere: the kitchen, the bedroom… even the bathroom! The boy could not have any more books. Most of them were written on English, but there was more than a few written in French. Kurt envied that.

"I thought it was so unfair" Kurt chuckled. "I thought: 'This rich kid, of mediocre taste and awful manners, had the chance to go to Paris and I didn't' " he continued "I was convinced you could not appreciate visiting the land of Baudelaire, or Mallarmé" Kurt said, then took a sip from the glass of wine Sebastian had offered him. The boy even had wine. _Come on! _Kurt was in heaven. "I was wrong, though."

"I can read and fuck, yeah" Sebastian joked. "I'm not sure why you thought those things were incompatible, but let me assure you" the boy leant towards Kurt, cheekily "they _so_ aren't."

Then Sebastian smirked, arrogantly. And Kurt found himself inevitably attracted to that arrogant smirk. Sebastian had no little reasons to be fond of himself. _Who would have thought?_

"It's a rare thing, though" the boy commented casually, going back to his former sitting position on the sofa, and putting his hand back on Kurt's thigh – his favourite spot. "To have a good random fuck with an educated guy."

Kurt gulped. He felt both repelled and compelled to Sebastian's sex life. "You're a keeper – point taken" Kurt bit back playfully. Sebastian's ego having a reason to be was one thing, and Kurt feeding it was another.

Sebastian slapped Kurt's thigh and regarded Kurt with a challenging expression. "Are we playful tonight?" he asked.

Kurt giggled, feeling a little tipsy because of the wine. "Guilty" he said cheerily, throwing his head backwards to rest it on the couch and keep the eye contact with Sebastian. He liked it. Sometimes Kurt even imagined they had unspoken duels of holding the stare.

Sebastian chuckled at Kurt honest response. "Kurt… Do you know _Enivrez-vous*_?" the boy asked, coming closer.

Kurt shook his head and regarded Sebastian with curiosity, suddenly taking in Sebastian's position on the sofa: the other boy's thigh was now touching his. And, of course, the other boy's hand was still on his thigh. Kurt's saliva got thick, so he took another sip.

Then Sebastian placed his other hand on Kurt's chest, playing with the buttons of his shirt. His eyes never left Kurt's. "_Il faut être toujours ivre. Tout est là: c'est l'unique question._ – Baudelaire. Does it ring a bell?" he asked Kurt.

When Kurt witnessed Sebastian's soft lips reciting those verses he literally forgot about the world. Sebastian had been right all along. There was nothing wrong with being a fetishist. Kurt had found his fetish, and it was Sebastian speaking French. Nay – reciting French. _I'm so screwed_, Kurt thought.

Then he noticed Sebastian had asked him something and shook his head again. Even if Kurt had known the poem, he would've not deprived himself of the absolutely erotic spectacle that was hearing those verses on Sebastian's _sinful_ lips. _Ups_, Kurt thought. _I'm losing it_.

Sebastian took Kurt's response as an invitation to carry on. "_Pour ne pas sentir l'horrible fardeau du Temps qui brise vos épaules et vous penche vers la terre, il faut vous enivrer sans trêve._" The boy came yet a little closer, his breath now caressing Kurt's lips.

Kurt shivered. "_Mais de quoi? __De vin, de poésie, ou de vertu, à votre guise. __Mais enivrez-vous._" Sebastian raised his thumb to rest it on Kurt's lower lip, pressing it. Kurt remained mesmerised.

"_Et si quelquefois, sur les marches d'un palais, sur l'herbe verte d'un fossé, dans la solitude morne de votre chambre, vous vous réveillez, l'ivresse déjà diminuée ou disparue_," Sebastian paused briefly, closing his eyes and looking visibly pleased. Now it was Kurt's hand that was touching Sebastian's collarbone. Kurt didn't realise it until he saw his own hand there. He would've taken it back, but Sebastian's reaction to it was too good to stop it.

Sebastian continued, opening his eyes again. _Hunger_, Kurt read, as he had read some other times before. "_… demandez au vent, à la vague, à l'étoile, à l'oiseau, à l'horloge, à tout ce qui fuit, à tout ce qui gémit, à tout ce qui roule, à tout ce qui chante, à tout ce qui parle, demandez quelle heure il est_ – you want me to stop?" Sebastian suddenly asked Kurt, moving his thumb all over Kurt's lips.

Kurt shook his head, alarmed. _Dear Gaga, don't you dare!_ "No!" he said excitedly, making Sebastian's thumb slip. Then he heard himself. "I mean – I like it" Kurt nodded, nervously, taking his hand away.

Sebastian smiled at him, clearly pleased at himself. "I'm almost finished" he assured the other boy: "_Et le vent, la vague, l'étoile, l'oiseau, l'horloge, vous répondront: 'Il est l'heure de s'enivrer!_' "

Sebastian's thumb found its way back to Kurt's lower lip. "_Pour n'être pas les esclaves martyrisés du Temps, enivrez-vous; enivrez-vous sans cesse! De vin, de poésie ou de vertu, à votre guise._" Sebastian finished, judging by the way he lowered down his tone. Kurt smiled, genuinely. Not only Kurt found Sebastian's fondness of French poetry incredibly hot – but Kurt also appreciated poetry itself.

"That was amazing" Kurt admitted out loud, mindlessly – but this time the movement of his lips didn't shake Sebastian's thumb away, and he ended up somehow awkwardly biting it. "Sorry" Kurt rushed to say, moving his head back.

"Don't be" Sebastian said, smiling back at him, placing now his hand on Kurt's hipbone, scratching it. "Your French must be good if you understood that, gayface" he said somewhat cockily.

"It's decent – I guess" Kurt replied insecurely. His French could not compare to _that_. He was now feeling incredibly grateful for all his movie marathons of French movies, though.

Sebastian pressed his fingers a little tighter on Kurt's skin. "More than decent, I'd say" the boy insisted with incredulity. "Who's not giving himself enough credit now?" Sebastian asked.

Kurt regarded Sebastian with curiosity, but also gratitude. "You're right, _Bas_" he said mindlessly.

But that 'Bas' didn't go unnoticed by Sebastian, who was instantly smirking. The boy took Kurt's glass from his hand and rested it on the table. Kurt had a weird feeling of déjà-vu.

"Mm, you _really_ liked my French, didn't you?" Sebastian asked cockily, his body incredibly close to Kurt's now. Kurt could not feel anything else.

Kurt nodded and smiled, unable to pronounce a single word. Sebastian's hand was now moving a little higher on his thigh, reaching dangerous territory. But Kurt would not shake it away.

Then Sebastian started to take Kurt's shirt out of his trousers. "I just want to see you, is that okay?" Sebastian asked him, liberating Kurt's shirt fully.

Kurt then felt Sebastian's hand exploring the skin under his own shirt, feeling his belly. Kurt shivered. "Yeah" he confirmed Sebastian, although the boy hadn't waited for confirmation to carry on.

But apparently that 'yeah' was what Sebastian needed to start undoing the buttons of Kurt's shirt. Kurt gulped. He was not exactly insecure about his skin, or body. But Sebastian studying it was a lot to handle.

When Sebastian was done with the buttons, Kurt brought his eyes back to meet the other boy's. He had been somewhat busy witnessing Sebastian's skilled fingers on his shirt. But they locked eyes, and Kurt realised Sebastian was waiting for permission to carry on. The boy wouldn't do anything Kurt didn't want him to. And that relaxed Kurt.

"It's okay" Kurt said, smiling shyly. "I'd like to see you too, though" he suddenly thought out loud. Kurt was dying to confirm his suspicion that Sebastian's freckles were everywhere.

Sebastian smirked and sat a little straighter. "Have at it" he said, pointing to his own shirt collar. Kurt sat straighter too and came close tentatively, placing his hands on that collar. He looked at Sebastian, excitedly. Sebastian stroke Kurt's hair.

"Come on, babe" the boy said reassuringly. Kurt waited no more and started unbuttoning Sebastian's shirt.

Kurt felt somewhat awkward while doing so – he was too aware of everything, and he doubted his fingers would look as sexy as Sebastian's had. He tried to shake that thought away, though.

"You look so hot right now, Kurt" Sebastian said then, making Kurt froze at the third button, unable to move. Maybe he looked sexy after all. "Don't you dare stop" Sebastian demanded him, chuckling.

Kurt gave him a knowing smile and carried on. Once he reached the lowest button, Sebastian got ahead of him and take his shirt off completely, leaving his upper half at full display. _This is a miracle of Mother Nature_, Kurt found himself thinking with admiration. Sebastian's arms were not from this planet, and those abs… _Damn, those abs_. Kurt didn't know where to look. Sebastian's skin was mesmerising.

"You like what you see?" Sebastian joked, taking in Kurt's amazed state. Kurt suppressed a smile biting the inside of his mouth, but failed.

"I really do" Kurt admitted, bringing up a hand to caress Sebastian's torso. Sebastian closed his eyes and Kurt couldn't help but kissing those clavicles. And that neck. And those biceps. And _those _abs. Kurt placed a soft kiss on every spot, inhaling Sebastian's scent while doing so. "You have a ve-very beautiful body" Kurt stuttered.

Sebastian opened his eyes and regarded Kurt tenderly. Or maybe Kurt was starting to get high on Sebastian's scent – but he thought he saw tenderness. Then the other boy grabbed Kurt's collar and get rid of Kurt's shirt, leaving Kurt in the exact same position – uncovered. Kurt felt suddenly cold and shivered perceptibly. Sebastian brought his hands to rub Kurt's arms and warm him. "Better?" Sebastian asked.

"Thank you" Kurt nodded, smiling coyly.

"Anytime" the other boy replied, then removed one hand from Kurt's arm to caress Kurt's chest. "Marble" he stated seriously, looking also amazed by what he saw. Kurt did not expect that reaction, and blushed, hoping the dim lighting would hide it.

Sebastian didn't stop there, and continued feeling Kurt's body with attention. Like a scientist would study a foreign creature. He removed his other hand, then placed it on Kurt's left nipple, stroking it. Kurt gulped hard, breathing with difficulty.

"Lay down" Sebastian demanded him, and Kurt didn't think it twice – he laid down on the couch, never leaving Sebastian's hungry eyes.

Sebastian was looking at him with want. Kurt's perspective, from below, made him feel somewhat overwhelmed. He _needed_ Sebastian's body contact soon or he would freak out – Kurt was feeling incredibly vulnerable.

Fortunately, Sebastian placed his hands on both sides of Kurt's head, and flexed his arms to be on top of Kurt without resting all his weight on him – not that Kurt would have minded that. The boy observed Kurt, smiling suggestively at him, and Kurt found it contagious – he smiled too, although it might be because of the nervousness he was feeling.

"Mm" Sebastian made, amused. "What am I gonna do with you, Kurt?" Sebastian asked rhetorically, while caressing Kurt's cheek with his thumb. Kurt realised he was blushing, again, and mentally damned himself. "I want to hear you moan again" Sebastian whispered on his ear, and Kurt's immediate reaction was to place his hands on Sebastian's back, pressing his fingers tightly.

Sebastian run a hand all the way down, from Kurt's neck to Kurt's belly, stopping when reaching Kurt's belt. His fingers rested there, playing with Kurt's waistband.

Kurt breathed out excitedly, and it hit him: he would not stop this. No matter how many doubts he might have about being intimate with Sebastian – he would not stop it.

"_Bas_" Kurt whispered, raising a hand to caress Sebastian's jawbone.

"Tell me" Sebastian rushed to reply. "Tell me what you want, Kurt – anything" the boy said, with so much sincerity on his eyes that Kurt was taken aback by Sebastian's generosity – if you could call it that. _Of course you can_, he corrected himself.

"I want everything you said earlier on the hall" Kurt said, stroking Sebastian's hair. "I want _this._" Kurt stared at him with resolution. This time, he would not back out. But Sebastian didn't look so certain. _I've given him reasons to doubt me_, Kurt thought. "I promise – I'm not teasing you this time." Kurt smiled shyly, placing a wet kiss on Sebastian's shoulder.

Sebastian breathed out, obviously affected by Kurt's proximity. Then the boy locked eyes with Kurt. "Not just this time, Kurt" he said. "I want a free pass to your skin" Sebastian's head went down and Kurt felt the other boy's tongue tracing a line all the way from his neck to his right nipple "… 'cause I'm gonna need more than one night to do to you all the things I have in mind." Kurt moaned lowly – Sebastian's tongue left his right nipple and went for the left one, giving small bites all over the area.

Kurt gasped: "Okay" although he was not even sure what he was agreeing to. Kurt had merely processed the words _more than one night_ and his whole body was already trembling. _Yes_, he also needed _more than one night_ with this man.

Sebastian's full weight was now on Kurt's, as the boy needed to free his hands in order to grab and caress Kurt's body. Kurt was slowly getting loose too – he brought his hands to the small of Sebastian's back and tentatively played with Sebastian's waistband, pressing his fingers timidly under it, but never going all the way down.

Sebastian's tongue and mouth kept covering Kurt's torso, while his hands undid Kurt's belt. Two seconds later, Kurt's trousers and shoes were on the floor. And, as if Sebastian could somehow feel when Kurt was feeling vulnerable, the boy took off his own trousers and shoes too.

They laid down against each other again, and Kurt felt Sebastian's erection pressed against his own. He took a deep breath, trying to catch up with the speed of the situation. Sebastian looked at him, hesitantly, and kissed the crook of Kurt's neck, while rubbing circles with his thumb on Kurt's hip. "Remember: pressure's off" he whispered.

Kurt felt calmer, although the situation did look a lot like they were about to have sex. But he didn't feel pressured. And he hoped Sebastian wouldn't think he felt that way. So Kurt grabbed the other boy's cheek to make sure he'd listen to him: "Hey, it's okay – I'm not feeling pressured" Kurt assured him "I feel _really_… good" he said, feeling awkward enough.

Sebastian regarded him with urge. "I wanna turn that _good_ into a _fucking awesome_" he stated with fierceness, introducing his hand under Kurt's briefs and grabbing Kurt's cock tightly.

Kurt moaned and hid his face on Sebastian's chest. But Sebastian wouldn't let him. The boy dug out Kurt's head and forced Kurt to look at him. "Don't hide, Kurt – I wanna see you get messy" Sebastian whispered roughly, sending a chill down Kurt's spine.

Kurt locked eyes with Sebastian, reluctantly, and once he did, he realised it wasn't so awkward. Actually, it wasn't awkward at all. It was kind of hot – to watch each other reactions to the touch. There was some kind of trust to it. It was a way to tell Sebastian with his eyes that he trusted him enough to see him like this, and vice versa.

Sebastian took Kurt's boxers off, leaving Kurt's lower parts at display. Kurt gulped, insecurely, but soon enough Sebastian's reaction took all his doubts away. The boy gave him a look full of lust and brought both hands to grab Kurt's ass fiercely. The possessiveness and hunger Kurt saw on the other boy's eyes made him feel _wanted_. More wanted than he had ever felt.

That gave Kurt some courage, and he felt immediately tempted to do the same with Sebastian's boxers. He moved his hands tentatively to grab Sebastian's waistband, but got shy when he got there. _Dammit, Hummel, stop thinking!_ He ordered himself, sighing. Then he felt Sebastian's hands on his own, and looked up to meet his gaze. There was a genuine smile there, encouraging him.

Sebastian guided Kurt's fingers to take a hold on the waistband and put the boxers all the way down Sebastian thighs, leaving bare skin at its pass. Kurt helped Sebastian get rid completely of the boxers, then couldn't help but observe Sebastian's hard penis. _Oh my_, Kurt thought, overwhelmed.

Their hands remained held, and suddenly their fingers were intertwined. Sebastian brought both pairs of hands up, placing them above Kurt's head, immobilising him. But the boy wasn't using pressure. Actually, it was a tender hold. Kurt could get his own hands back if he wanted – he just didn't. Somehow, he felt safe that way.

Their bodies started caressing each other. Kurt felt Sebastian's lips coming closer and closed his eyes to receive them. He wanted to concentrate on the taste and consistence of those lips. Sebastian kissed him wetly, messily, and soon enough his tongue was asking for permission to enter Kurt's mouth. Kurt let him.

Sebastian's warmth was everywhere around Kurt, and said boy found himself feeling like there was no other place he'd prefer to be. Also, their lower parts had sort of engaged on a heated dance of greetings and rubs – and that was making Kurt lose his mind.

His breathing had become panting, and his moans had mixed with Sebastian's on their mouths. They were not even kissing anymore, just biting each other lips urgently. The hold in their hands was impossibly tighter now – it almost hurt.

Kurt knew he was close to come, but he didn't want the contact to end. Nothing Kurt had worn before felt as wonderful as Sebastian's body pressed against his. So Kurt tried to hold on, struggling between the need to release and the need to keep feeling that way.

Kurt observed Sebastian's heated face and realised the boy was also close. Then Kurt remembered he had promised to do something. They were both trembling now, so Kurt thought it was now or never. _Be brave, Hummel_.

"_Bas_" he whispered, patting Sebastian's neck with his nose. Sebastian rushed to look at him, attentive, and placed a kiss on Kurt's chin. Kurt freed his hands and took a hold on Sebastian's neck, granting himself some access to whisper on his ear: "I really want you, Bas."

Kurt felt Sebastian moan loudly and deeply on his shoulder, making both boys come almost at the same time.

Kurt didn't know how, but his arms had ended up embracing Sebastian. Both boys were breathing hard against each other, Kurt's head thrown backwards and Sebastian's on Kurt's shoulder.

And here it was. The kind of moments Kurt had no clue how to feel. Was cuddling appropriate for fuckbuddies? Was that what they were now? Should he move? Should he not?

All those questions slipped away when Sebastian's mouth started to work his way up Kurt's neck, slowly and tiredly, but finally reaching Kurt's lips. It was a kiss shared between two persons that obviously felt comfortable around each other. And it lingered.

* * *

*Here's a link to the poem _Enivrez-vous_ by Charles Baudelaire, translated to English: 2012/03/29/poetry-enivrez-vous-baudelaire-original-with-translation/

(search that on Google and it should be the first result ;) )


	14. Chapter 14

Thank you for reading and your reviews! I'm really glad you guys liked so much last chapter.

Let's see how things go now... ^^

P.S. I don't own Glee! I wish.

* * *

When several minutes passed and they were doing nothing but remained still, body against body, on the same exact position, Kurt started to feel uncomfortable. They were no longer kissing, nor caressing each other – they were simply _together_, and Kurt didn't know what to make of that. Not that Sebastian's body didn't feel great anymore on top of his own – it was his haunting thoughts and doubts what troubled him.

Sebastian looked pleased with the situation, though, but Kurt's insecurity made him wonder if maybe the other boy was too polite to kick him out. Sebastian didn't strike him as someone who would spend more time than necessary with '_a good random fuck_', so… what were they doing, then?

When Kurt couldn't take it anymore – it probably hadn't been more than ten minutes – he got up abruptly and started looking for his clothes. Sebastian casted him a confused look, grabbing Kurt's forearm to stop him.

"Kurt" the boy stated, with that implacable tone only Sebastian could pull off. Kurt had no choice but to turn around and face him. The worst part was… he was still naked! _Oh dear Gaga… let me at least get dressed_, Kurt thought.

Kurt met Sebastian's eyes, which looked displeased. "Where do you think you're going?" the boy asked, and Kurt knew there was no valid answer.

"Um-" Kurt made, feeling really stupid. Sebastian raised an eyebrow. "I was just- going to go and- you know" Kurt almost whispered, pointing to the door clumsily.

Sebastian looked astonished. "Why?" he asked, then rushed to add "I mean- do you want to?" Sebastian said hesitantly.

And Kurt realised he wasn't the only one feeling vulnerable. Maybe Sebastian was as clueless as he was about the whole situation – maybe not. But one thing was for sure: Sebastian didn't want him to go. Kurt smiled, relieved.

"Not really" Kurt admitted, chuckling awkwardly, then run a hand through his hair nervously.

Sebastian's expression got softer. The boy sighed, amused. "Let's go to the room" he said, getting up and throwing Kurt his boxers. "To cover your shame" Sebastian snorted, smiling.

Kurt caught the boxers and put 'em on. He followed Sebastian to his room, protesting: "I don't mind being naked, meerkat! I just… prefer being dressed" he stopped when he reached the door, since Sebastian was changing into some clean underwear.

"Sure" Sebastian said sarcastically, getting under the covers, then observed Kurt, who was still standing under the doorframe. "Well, come here, _sweet cheeks_" Sebastian shook his hand, calling Kurt over.

Kurt approached the bed timidly and got under the covers too. Sebastian observed him with amusement. "Make yourself comfortable" the boy said, placing some pillows behind his head. Kurt mimicked him and tried to relax. They had never slept together on purpose. The time they fell asleep while watching a movie didn't count for Kurt – he hadn't intended to, and he doubted Sebastian had.

Sebastian laid an arm over Kurt shoulders, bringing him closer. "You have an amazing body, Kurt" he whispered.

Kurt blushed. "Oh- thank you" he answered, feeling somewhat overwhelmed by Sebastian's proximity. The other boy had placed one hand on his thigh, as usual, and he was caressing it calmly.

"So, what do you want to do?" asked Sebastian, rubbing his nose against Kurt's neck. "You up for a second ride, babe?" the boy asked suggestively.

Kurt froze. He was still trying to regain himself from earlier! "N-now?" he stuttered, nervously. His body went rigid.

Sebastian probably noticed it, because the boy stopped caressing him. Kurt turned to look at him, but then he felt Sebastian's arms around his torso. Two seconds later, Kurt's head was placed on Sebastian's shoulder and Kurt's upper body was over Sebastian's. Sebastian had embraced Kurt with his hands and was now caressing Kurt's torso.

It was a different perspective – not having Sebastian's eyes locked with his, but now Kurt had Sebastian's arms around him, and he could feel the boy just as attentive. And it made him feel safe. _Safe?_ Kurt wondered.

"Next time, then" Sebastian said, casually. Kurt smiled, grateful, and relaxed at the touch. As weird as it might seem, he wanted to thank Sebastian for the patience the boy was showing him. Unable to stop himself, Kurt turned his head to the side, looking for Sebastian's neck, and placed a lingering kiss there once he found it.

Once Kurt broke the kiss, he caught a glimpse of themselves on a wall mirror placed right beside Sebastian's closet. What Kurt saw shocked him. They looked pretty much like a couple. Then Kurt remembered that, according to Sebastian, there was also intimacy on 'free, consented sex'. So maybe they just looked like two guys who had just _relieved_ each other. Nothing else. Kurt struggled to come to that conclusion, though.

"You okay?" Sebastian asked, then Kurt realised his body had gone rigid – again.

"Yeah" Kurt added quickly, while ordering his body to stop it.

He wanted, more than anything, to enjoy the moment – but something kept telling Kurt that _this_, what they were doing now, was a little bit different than the intimacy they had shared before on the sofa. _This _felt different, and yet, just as natural.

"Actually, no" Kurt said, bringing his hands to rub his own eyes. He sighed. He needed to ask Sebastian or he would not be able to enjoy any of _this _at all – whatever _this _was.

Sebastian said nothing, waiting for Kurt to explain himself. "Sebastian" Kurt started, retreating his upper body from Sebastian's and lying beside him instead. He needed to lock eyes with the other boy, but something about the movement, about losing body contact, made him feel cold. So Kurt turned to the side and rested a hand on Sebastian's chest, timidly caressing it. "Is _this_- normal for you?" _There, I said it_, Kurt thought, breathing out with relief.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at Kurt. "What do you mean?" he asked, sincerely.

Kurt bit his lip. _Dammit_ – now he had to explain himself. "I mean… _this_" Kurt lifted his hand, looked at Sebastian, then rested it again on the other boy's chest, to keep touching him. "The touching, the cuddling… is it?" _Oh my Gaga, why won't you stop talking!_ Kurt damned himself. A really small, annoying part of him knew he was doing the right thing – for himself. But he also knew he was making things awkward – and there was a huge chance he'd regret it. "I'm just trying to be honest – because I'm really confused right now" Kurt continued, lowering down his tone. "This is not how I pictured one night stands" _Now – that's how you screw things up, you idiot!_ Kurt sighed.

Kurt expected Sebastian to panic and get up screaming 'I don't do relationships, Kurt – get out!' or something equally dramatic. Or to laugh at him. Anything. But the boy remained still, quiet – and he even kept the visual contact. Which was making Kurt incredibly uncomfortable after what he'd just said, to be honest. Kurt's hand even left Sebastian's chest.

Finally, Sebastian opened his mouth. "Kurt" he started, "why would _this_ be a one night stand?" Sebastian asked, with that blunt honesty he always managed to transmit. Kurt envied that about him.

Kurt rubbed his forehead. "Look – I'm not saying that I'm looking for something more than that" he gulped, "I'm really not. I- I don't think I'm ready after all the… Blaine drama" Kurt explained. "I'm not looking for anything, really" he said, honestly.

"Neither am I" Sebastian agreed, shrugging.

"Good" Kurt nodded, not exactly feeling relieved – but he doubted anything would put him at ease right now. He frowned. "You didn't answer me, though" the doubt was like an itch Kurt scratched desperately, never finding relief. "Is this… normal- for you?" he repeated, slowlier and way more insecure than before.

Sebastian shifted his lying position on the bed, and directed his eyes at the ceiling now. Kurt observed him. Sebastian didn't look as comfortable as he used to. _Maybe I'm pushing this too hard_, Kurt regretted. "_God_- forget what I just said, _please_" Kurt lamented, rubbing his eyes again. What was he doing? He was about to spoil whatever he had with Sebastian!

Kurt sensed Sebastian shifting his position on the bed again, then felt the other boy's hand on his thigh, patting it. "No, it's okay" Sebastian assured him. Kurt looked at him, with incredulity. Sebastian chuckled. "Jeez, Kurt, relax" the boy said. "You've only had one, very long relationship and you're confused – I get it. It's not a crime" Kurt smiled at him, relieved.

"When did you become so understanding?" Kurt asked, trying to hide his amazement behind a chuckle.

"Hey" Sebastian protested, amused, narrowing his eyes at Kurt. "May I remind you – _we're starting to know each other now_?" he mimicked Kurt, with a cheesy tone. "Your words, not mine" Sebastian smirked. Kurt blushed hard.

"You idiot" Kurt bit back, turning his back on Sebastian to avoid looking at the boy. He felt like a little kid.

Sebastian chuckled and approached Kurt's back, putting his arms around Kurt's, trapping him. He bit Kurt's neck. "I'm messing with you, gayface" Sebastian said, playfully.

"Oh, I know" Kurt said somewhat resented, but felt immediately better the moment Sebastian's body was pressed against his own. _This cannot be good_, Kurt feared, thinking about the soothing effect the other boy seemed to have on him.

Sebastian kissed him on the spot he'd just bitten. "To answer to your question" the boy said, changing abruptly the subject. Kurt tried to turn around, to face him, but it was pointless. Sebastian's body was trapping his. "I don't always behave like this with- uh, you know… the guys I hook up with" Sebastian admitted. Kurt noticed the confident tone was gone, and he wondered if maybe Sebastian had trapped him on purpose, to avoid Kurt's gaze while opening up to him. "But also- it's not like there's a standard attitude I adopt with my hook ups. Me or anybody, really" he continued, regaining himself. "Sometimes a guy brings out a part of you that other people just… don't – sometimes it's just about sex. It's unpredictable. And I like it that way" Sebastian stated.

And it sounded quite logical. Kurt couldn't argue that. He actually understood Sebastian's perspective. Except that _the guy_ was now _him_, Kurt Hummel – gayface, sweet cheeks. _Right_.

"That… makes sense" Kurt admitted. But he knew things weren't so logical or simple. Life wasn't. "But I wanna be honest with you too. There might come a moment when… things just won't be logical or reasonable for me anymore."

Sebastian caught Kurt's hands and held them tight with his own, using the hold to embrace Kurt. "Okay" the boy agreed.

"Right now I'm okay, though" Kurt rushed to assure Sebastian. He _wanted _to be okay. "I just… I can't speak for my future self" Kurt giggled, awkwardly. "He might get clingy, and I know you don't like 'em clingy" he tried to joke, but Kurt wasn't sure that was one of his finest comments. _Scratch that_. He _knew_ it wasn't.

Sebastian chuckled, though. "I get it, Kurt. You're looking out for yourself – I respect that."

Now Kurt _really_ sighed with relief. He had spoken up his doubts, and they had sort of come to a deal. And Sebastian had really listened to him. He smiled. Sebastian was quite a good listener. But then he realised. Why did it had to be _him_ the one who might get clingy? Why was Sebastian not looking out for himself? Somehow, that didn't seem right. Did that make Kurt weak, or something? He didn't like that thought.

"And, you know- the same goes both ways" Kurt added, tentatively. "I mean- if things get… complicated- for you" he stopped, uncertain "in a _future_, I mean" Kurt emphasised, "then- well." Kurt knew there was a big chance Sebastian would burst out laughing at the mere thought of him, Sebastian Smythe, having troubles to separate intimacy and feelings. But Kurt risked it. Out of pride, probably.

But the boy didn't laugh at him. He actually got kind of serious. "Kurt, how hypothetically are we talking now? Are you really talking about some hypothetic future? Because, if that's the case, then I think you're getting ahead of yourself, and it's useless" Sebastian said, turning Kurt around to face him. _Now you wanna look me in the eye_, Kurt thought bitterly. "I just wanna know- how do you feel _now_?" the boy added, staring at him attentively.

And Kurt felt again, for the second time that night, like there was just no right or valid answer to that. How was he feeling? Was he really talking about 'a future self'? He was full of doubts already, _for God's sake_.

Kurt avoided Sebastian's eyes, tiredly. "Sebastian I-" he sighed, sitting up. "I'm not sure I can separate intimacy and feelings. I've never had to do that before." Kurt admitted, feeling incredibly vulnerable while saying it, but also incredibly relieved once it was out.

Sebastian sat on the bed too, and searched for Kurt's cheek with his hand. He caressed it. "Who says you have to?" the boy asked. Kurt looked at him, astonished.

"What?" Kurt asked, incredulous.

Sebastian took back his hand, and run it nervously through his own hair. "I'm just saying- you should always be free to feel whatever you're feeling. It just- comes with some risks, I guess" the boy said, and his eyes turned somewhat colder.

"Some risks?" Kurt asked, not really sure if he wanted to know the answer, judging by Sebastian's tone.

"I'm also free to feel anything, Kurt" the boy said, fiercely. "And that might not be the same you're feeling. That's just how things work." Sebastian said, looking away.

Sebastian's cold, logical way to speak his mind didn't cease to shock Kurt. Was this cold guy the same person that'd been holding Kurt tightly only two minutes ago? How could Sebastian seem and feel so different now?

Kurt sighed. He knew Sebastian was right. Either he, Kurt, wanted to take the risk or he didn't.

"Can I ask you something?" Kurt said, feeling like he had nothing to lose now. Sebastian looked at him again, coldly, and nodded. "Does it come with- some risks for you too?" Kurt asked, but it felt weird to formulate the question with the same cold, bold words Sebastian had used. Those weren't Kurt's. "I mean- do you ever feel like you're taking a risk?" Kurt reformulated it.

Kurt wasn't even interested in knowing if he, Kurt, implied a risk for Sebastian. Kurt was really talking in a general way – he wanted to know if Sebastian was always this cold.

Sebastian observed him with an unreadable expression for a couple of seconds. It seemed like the boy had forgotten he had just been asked something.

"It's very rare" Sebastian said, finally, with an unaffected tone and face. And Kurt knew Sebastian was being honest – so he had no right to feel disappointed at that. Although Kurt could do without the cold look Sebastian was giving him, truth to be told.

Kurt looked away, and nodded, bitting his lip. "Okay."

They fell in an uncomfortable silence. They were still sitting, frozen-like, uncertain as to how to proceed now.

"I respect whatever you feel, though" Sebastian said then, and Kurt's stomach made a triple jump. The tone was softer again, almost tentative. Kurt locked eyes with him and realised the coldness was gone.

Kurt nodded again, and laid down, just to keep himself busy. "Well- like I said, I'm just confused" he smiled awkwardly, hoping really hard for that to be temporary.

"You'll figure it out" Sebastian said casually – as if Kurt was confused about wearing a blue shirt or a white one. The boy laid down too, beside Kurt, but didn't touch him.

Kurt felt cold without the body contact. He sighed and turned to the side to observe Sebastian.

"Okay, meerkat" that caught Sebastian's attention. "I'll feel whatever I need to feel, but you'll keep being your natural touchy self" Kurt joked, hoping the other boy would take the hint.

Sebastian smirked maliciously and grasped Kurt's hips. "I thought you found me too touchy?" the boy asked cheekily. And just like that, the awkwardness was gone. Sebastian's playful side was out again. Kurt smiled at him.

"Mm" Kurt made, pretending to be considering it. "Not anymore" he said, biting his lip and remembering how attractive he found Sebastian – who was quickly on top of him, by the way.

Sebastian observed him excitedly. "Dammit, Kurt; if you _really_ don't want a second round, then you better behave, babe" he said, amused.

Kurt giggled. "Okay, okay" he kissed Sebastian's cheek. "Let's sleep" he said, turning his back on Sebastian so the boy could embrace him with his arms again.

"Good night, Kurt" the boy said, kissing Kurt back on the cheek.

"Night, meerkat" Kurt whispered, squeezing Sebastian's hand.

/

Kurt decided it would be better for him not to see or talk to Sebastian for a few days. There was a decission he needed to make, and Sebastian's physical proximity would not help him to think straight _at all_. Luckily, or not so luckily, it didn't look like the other boy would be an inconvenience. Sebastian didn't text him or called him during the following days either.

_Maybe he's waiting for me to do it_, Kurt kept thinking, and avoiding to think.

Surprisingly enough, Santana had not brought up the subject, nor she had told anyone. Kurt kept waiting for something terrible to happen to him - but it just didn't. Everything was so freaking normal he was feeling completely out of place. He needed someone to talk to, and yet, he couldn't bring himself to open up. Mostly, because he didn't even know where to begin with. How could he justify any of the things he was doing or feeling to someone else, if he could not explain 'em to himself?

And he was feeling so much. _That night_ had been so much. How could he deny it? He had felt something. It hadn't been just sex for him. The tenderness Sebastian showed him had been overwhelming for Kurt. But so had been the coldness. Sebastian's coldness was the risk Kurt had to decide if it was worth taking.

One week later, Kurt found himself watching _Funny_ _Girl_ with Rachel in their living room, with a bowl of cookies and a box of tissues.

"_We were heading for something you couldn't have known how to handle_" said Nick Arnstein.

"_What makes you think I do now?_" asked Fanny.

"_If you don't... it's time you learned_" Nick Arnstein replied.

Kurt gulped. _But the difference is he ended up loving her! _He argued with himself. Also, he didn't want Sebastian to love him. He just... oh, who did he want to fool? He had no clue what he wanted.

"Rachel, I'm screwed" Kurt said out loud, unable to contain himself any longer.

Rachel casted him a confused look, pausing the movie. "What?" she asked, tiredly. She looked exhausted, actually. And sad.

"We shouldn't be watching this, Rach" Kurt sighed.

"This is how I work, Kurt" Rachel said, yawning. "I'm too tired to practise, so... this is the second better option" she explained quietly.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "It's a Friday night, for God's sake. What are we doing, feeling this miserable?" Kurt lamented, dramatically.

"You want a cookie?" Rachel offered him. Kurt snorted, but took it. "What do you mean, you're 'screwed'?" the girl asked. She obviously hadn't forgotten what had caused the interruption.

Kurt observed her. If he told her they had paused the movie over nothing, she would get pissed.

"I'm... seeing someone" he said nervously, covering his face.

Rachel jumped to his couch. "Oh my God, Kurt" she said excitedly. She didn't look a bit tired anymore. "Who is he? Do I know him? Does he attend NYADA? Oh my God, it's not Adam, is it?" she ranted.

Kurt cut her. "Oh dear Gaga- no!" he stopped her, frantically. Rachel had a way to make him anxious. "Stop it! You don't know him" he tried to assure her.

"Oh" she pouted. "Show me a pic?" she asked, pointing towards Kurt's phone.

"Oh, we're not Facebook friends or anything" Kurt lied. "I just met him" he added, to make it sound more convincing. Rachel nodded, disappointed.

"Do you like him?" she asked, and Kurt turned to look at her outraged.

"Oh no, not at all!" he argued, making Rachel look even more confused.

"Then why are you seeing him?" she asked.

_Okay, I'm not making any sense_, Kurt realised. "I guess I- don't really" he struggled to find the right words "know if I like him" Kurt gulped. "I sort of hated him- at first" Kurt told her, his mind wandering back to their senior year in high school.

"Whoa, lucky you!" Rachel slapped Kurt's shoulder playfully. "It's a _I hate that I love you_ kind of relationship" she sang-song, childishly.

Kurt corrected her. "No, no, no- Rach, definitely not love. I told you- I just met him" he repeated, and wondered if that was entirely true. He was starting to know Sebastian now, but he hadn't just met him. _Anyway, _Kurt cut himself.

"Is he hot?" Rachel asked him, adopting an interrogatory tone. Kurt rolled his eyes at her but played along.

"You could- say that" he nodded, timidly.

"Uhu!" she giggled. "Cute?"

"Sometimes" Kurt answered rapidly.

"A good kisser?"

"Yeah" Kurt grinned like an idiot.

"Uhu!" Rachel made again. "How far did you go?" she inquired.

"Rach!" Kurt shushed her, even though they were alone.

Rachel giggled, pointing an accusing finger at Kurt. "Oh! You _so_ got physical with him!" she laughed now.

Kurt punched her playfully, trying to contain a chuckle. "Shut up!" he shushed her again.

"Oh! And he's _good_, isn't he?" she asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes at Kurt, but still amused. "Those are the best - the thin line between hate and love, Kurt! The tension! Oh, I'm so jealous!" she sighed, laughing, and lied down on the couch.

Kurt giggled too. "You may be right" he admitted. Sebastian and he had a pretty tense dynamic. For the better, and for the worse.

"Oh, you know what we should do?" she got up, excitedly, and it looked like she had just injected herself with a litre of coffee. "We're gonna watch _Pride and prejudice_!"

Kurt bursted out laughing - really hard. "Oh, Rach, you're so naive" he sighed, trying to contain his laughter.

"Why do you say that, Kurt?" she asked, with puppy eyes. "Don't be so-" she looked at him with disdain "negative, ugh!" she protested, pouting again.

"I think I told you that I'm screwed" Kurt commented, catching Rachel's attention. "He- doesn't do relationships" Kurt observed his own hands, trying to maintain a poker face. "Not that I'd want that right now, right? I mean, it's too soon" he smiled awkwardly.

Then he realised Rachel was giving him a pity look. "Hey, don't pity me! I'm okay with this!" he protested.

"I thought you said you were screwed" Rachel argued, going back to her sofa.

Kurt damned himself. "Oh- that" he sighed. They fell in silence, observing the frozen image on the screen. It was Fanny's, pondering Nick's words.

"I think it'd take the _risk_" Rachel said, still looking at Fanny. Kurt shivered at her choice of words. "But I might be biased, since I've been playing Fanny for so long" she explained, with that tone she employed whenever she dramatically empathized with Fanny.

"Mm" Kurt made. "I think I could empathize with her, too" he commented distractedly.

Rachel turned around and gave him a shocking look. "That bad?" she asked, widening her eyes.

Kurt realised what he had just said. "The attraction- you know" he giggled awkwardly.

Rachel looked at him suspiciously, but she was smiling. "Oh, I envy you" she said.


	15. Chapter 15

Thanks again for reading and reviewing ^^ you always make my day!

P.s. I don't own Glee.

* * *

Not seeing Sebastian, or Blaine, or any potential romantic interest really, was doing Kurt good. When it'd been more than a week and a half since he last saw or heard from Sebastian, he realised the other boy probably expected him to make a move: if Kurt called him, it'd mean he had decided whether to take the risk or not. It was either that, or that Sebastian was ignoring him, and the latter Kurt could not stand.

Two weeks went on, and, during that time, Kurt did anything but pondering the decision. He focused on his classes and started searching a fashion internship for the summer. Having the ropes of his life back had made him realise the things he had been missing, and a connection with the fashion world was one of those.

Another Friday night came along, and he found himself on the couch again, watching some reality TV-show with Rachel. Santana had a late shift at the diner, so when the girl went back home, she found the following scene: Kurt was laying on the larger couch, laptop on his belly and bowl of chicken wigs on his hand. Rachel laid on the floor, working out.

"For Christ's sake, you two are the most boring people I've ever known!" Santana screamed dramatically, after observing them for a couple of seconds. They hadn't even noticed the other girl had arrived.

Kurt pouted at her, then timidly offered her some food. Santana rolled her eyes at him. "And what the hell are you doing, Berry?"

"What does it look like?" Rachel replied somewhat exasperated, breathing with difficulty.

"She does that now every time the clock strikes half hour" Kurt explained distractedly, taking back his rejected wings and going back to eat 'em.

"You what?! Why?!" Santana stared at Rachel with disdain, "You know what? I don't even wanna know" she rushed to say, and grabbed the remote control to turn off the TV.

"Hey!" Rachel and Kurt protested in unison.

"This situation can't go on like this forever" Santana said, folding her arms and placing herself in front of the TV.

Rachel and Kurt exchanged confused looks. Santana sighed.

"Okay, you" she looked at Rachel, "you're gonna have a shower, then borrow a killing dress from my- Oh, wait, for a second there I took you for a normal girl – I'll pick up the dress for you" she made a face, and turned to look at Kurt, "and you're gonna throw that disgusting bowl away and put on something sexy – 'cause if you don't, I'm gonna pick it up for you too" she smirked maliciously.

Kurt sighed, annoyed. "What for?" he protested. "Why can't I watch TV wearing my PJs?"

Santana snorted. "We're going out, ladies" she stated brightly, then went straight to her room.

Rachel got up making faces. "Santana! I don't wanna go out! I'm freaking tired!" she lamented, but the other girl had already picked up something and threw it to Rachel's face.

"You're wearing that. Now, shower" she demanded, seriously, taking Rachel aback. The petit girl gulped and nodded, entering the bathroom.

"And you" Santana pointed a finger at Kurt. "Last warning: get up, throw that away and get dressed. Or I will go into your room and I'll put _these_ hands" she showed Kurt her hands, waving her fingers "all over your clothes – and God knows what they might have touched tonight."

It worked, because Kurt got up quickly, alarmed. "Okay, okay, don't you dare!" the boy warned her.

/

"What does it always have to be a gay bar?" Rachel protested when they entered the chosen place. It was a really cheap and tacky gay bar. But it looked like people were _really_ having fun – Kurt noticed. There were guys making out everywhere and girls slow dancing against each other suggestively on every corner. And they looked their age.

"Easy: two gays, one straight. You do the maths" Santana said, laying an arm around Rachel. "But look at the bright side, Berry: this will prepare you to deal with all those gay husbands we all know you'll end up marrying obliviously" she snorted. And Kurt couldn't help but giggled quietly too, remembering that fateful night Rachel and Blaine kissed.

Rachel shook Santana's arm and gave both of them a furious glare. Then went to the bar, raging.

"You're mean" Kurt chuckled.

"That'll knock some sense into her" Santana smirked, pleased.

Kurt rolled his eyes and went to the bar too, determined to order himself a beer. Once he got there, he remembered about the Irish beer he tried with Sebastian, and ordered that particular brand.

Two beers later, he was dancing on the dance floor with the two girls animatedly, having a blast, when he felt two strong hands grabbing his hips. Kurt turned around, outraged, to find an attractive blond male smiling at him. But Kurt shook the other guy's hands anyway.

"Not interested, sorry" Kurt smiled awkwardly at him, gaining two shocking looks from Santana and Rachel.

They guy apologised and left, and Rachel approached Kurt full of determination. "Kurt!" she protested, "Why did you send him away? He was so handsome" the girl screamed.

But Santana spoke before Kurt could react. "Well, because lady Hummel here is already getting some" she winked at him, and Kurt shot her the most furious glare he could pull off.

Rachel smiled excitedly. "Oh, you know too?" she asked Santana.

"Damn right I know" she smirked maliciously. Kurt face fell, and cut them abruptly.

"Okay girls, my life is not that interesting" he giggled awkwardly. "Santana, why don't we go find you some little-brained, hot blonde- you know, just like you like 'em?" he bit back, grabbing Santana's arm and trying to direct them towards the bar, but the girl wouldn't let him.

"I'm done with blondes" she stated with disdain. "I think I'm gonna try some arrogant, slutty, badass brunette – it's working well enough for you, isn't it Kurt?" Santana narrowed her eyes at him. Kurt glared at her again.

"What? Do you know him?" Rachel asked Santana, upset. "And I don't?" she asked Kurt. "How is that fair, Kurt? I'm your best friend!" she screamed, annoyingly.

Kurt opened up his mouth to protest but Santana was faster. "Oh, but you know him too, Rach" she said, faking enthusiasm. "Remember Sebastian, the criminal slut?" Santana asked Rachel, but her eyes were on Kurt.

Rachel's eyes went wide with shock. "No way" she said, after a few seconds, turning to the side to look at Kurt.

Kurt stared at his feet, frozen, then raised his eyes to meet the judging looks both girls were giving him. He gulped, feeling vulnerable, and turned around to leave the bar.

/

Kurt stared at his cell phone, fighting the urge to text Sebastian. He couldn't exactly say why, but something about people finally finding out about Sebastian and him when it'd been two weeks since they last met, seemed quite ridiculous. It almost seemed like a lie.

Granted, he hadn't made up his mind yet, or even tried to, but if people were to judge him, then they better had a reason, right? Then he felt someone sitting beside him, on the sidewalk, and judging by the size, it had to be Rachel.

"Hey" she said, grabbing Kurt's hand. "Are you okay, Kurt?" she asked, kindly, and Kurt turned around to hug her.

"Not really" he whispered, once they broke the hug. "I haven't even met Sebastian for two weeks" he said, sighing. "Santana doesn't really know what she's talking about."

"How did she find out, anyway?" Rachel asked him.

Kurt bit his lip. "I didn't exactly… hide it" he admitted, then covered his face with his hands. "Sebastian wanted to come visit me at the diner, to pick me up and… I didn't stop him" he mumbled the last part.

Rachel chuckled. "Oh, Kurt – what a terrible idea."

"Oh, I know" he giggled. "But he's so persuasive, Rach- Oh, dear Gaga. I told you I was screwed."

"Well, never in a million years I would've imagined this, but-" she smiled, amused.

"Trust me – me neither" Kurt breathed out, relaxing. They locked eyes for a few seconds and burst out laughing.

Rachel patted Kurt's back. "I need to ask, Kurt" she said, giving him an anxious look. "Did he change? Is he nicer now? Really, because I'm trying to imagine a plausible scenario where you could find Sebastian worth your time, and attention, but I also saw him the night of your play – I was there too, and he didn't look any different!" she ranted.

Kurt sighed, knowing he had this one coming. "I-" he started, trying to make up his mind "I'd say he did- change, but… Well, we really didn't get to know him back in high school" he protested.

But Rachel didn't look any less shocked. "What?" she asked rhetorically. "He almost blinded your boyfriend, Kurt!" she said frantically.

"Ex-boyfriend" Kurt bit back, somewhat annoyed. "Look, I don't expect you to understand it, Rachel. Maybe he changed – maybe he never was that bad – I don't know!" he stated, visibly anxious.

Rachel looked away, biting her lip. Kurt knew she was restraining herself from saying anything she might regret later. _That's some progress_, he thought amused.

"Okay" Rachel said finally. "I can't say I've never overlooked people's misbehaviour towards me" she said, bitterly.

"He treats me well, Rach" Kurt assured her. "We actually enjoy arguing and being harsh on each other, but it's not like that all the time" he said, unable to contain a smile.

Rachel regarded him with curiosity. "Mm" she made. "_I hate that I love you_ kind of thing" she said quietly.

"Oh, shut up" Kurt punched her shoulder playfully. Rachel giggled and got up.

"Well, have fun then" she said, smiling timidly.

Kurt casted her a confused look. "I'm not meeting him tonight" he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Why not?" Rachel asked. "You clearly want to" she said cheekily.

"What?" Kurt asked dramatically. "Where did you get that?"

"Oh, come on!" Rachel sighed. "_I haven't even met Sebastian for two weeks_" she mimicked him, giggling. Kurt's jaw fell.

"You, young lady, you are so…" Kurt started, pointing an accusing finger at her, but put it down, sighing "… right" he conceded. They both laughed.

"Well?" she asked, when she saw that Kurt remained still. "Call him, then!" she insisted, impatient.

Kurt chuckled, finding Rachel's enthusiasm contagious. "Okay, jeez" he said, standing up.

Rachel kissed him on the cheek and whispered "Go, Fanny!" giggling.

Kurt rolled his eyes and waited until she was gone to take out his phone again. He looked for Sebastian's number and bit his lip. _Okay_, he encouraged himself.

"Sweet cheeks" Sebastian's _seductive_ voice greeted him. Kurt gulped.

"Hey, meerkat" he managed to articulate, shaking his nervousness away.

"How are you doing, marble?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm good" Kurt said somewhat lively. Dared he admit it? He had missed talking to Sebastian. "Thank you for asking, kind sir" he added, livelier. Sebastian chuckled. "What about you?" he asked tentatively now.

"Sunshine and rainbows" Sebastian said, sarcastically.

"Good for you" Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

A few seconds passed. Kurt took a deep breath, gathering some courage.

"So… you wanna meet?" Kurt asked, finally.

"Hu. Am I your booty call, Hummel?" Sebastian joked.

"Yep" Kurt answered cockily, and heard Sebastian's chuckle.

"Mm" Sebastian made, amused. "What did you do to my nervous and sweet gayface?" the boy asked, faking to be concerned. Kurt's heart skipped a beat to the sound of _my_.

"Oh, he'll make an appearance once you're near me – fear not" Kurt admitted awkwardly. Sebastian breathed out, making that noise Kurt knew it was a smile. He smiled too.

"Good. I look forward to that" Sebastian said with a deep, rough tone. Kurt blushed.

"And _that_ will be…?" Kurt asked, tentatively.

"I'm exiting a bar now" Sebastian said, and for the loss of noise Kurt could tell it was true. "Not far from my apartment, actually" he suggested.

"Oh" Kurt made, nervously. "Could we… grab a drink first? I kind of- feel like dancing…" he said honestly. Before Santana exposed him to Rachel, he truly was enjoying himself.

"Mm, and I feel like watching you dance" Sebastian said, his voice getting more and more suggestive. Oh, Kurt was affected already. _Dammit_.

"But you'll dance with me… right?" Kurt asked nervously. Something about dancing _for_ Sebastian, instead of _with_ him, seemed almost pornographic.

Sebastian chuckled briefly. "Sure thing, babe" he said. "How far are you from your diner?" he asked. "I'm three blocks away."

"Um-" Kurt started walking fast. He was about twenty minutes away. "Not far… if I hurry" he admitted.

"I'll meet you there" Sebastian said, hanging up.

/

Sebastian took Kurt to a huge disco. Most people were older than them, but the place was amazing. Not only people dressed quite fashionably, but they actually looked like models. Or important business men and women. It was the kind of place that made you feel important. The kind of place Kurt imagined Isabelle Wright would go to.

And Sebastian seemed to know his way around the place just fine. The boy fitted right in. He was constantly greeting people, and, most to Kurt's surprise, he introduced them to Kurt.

More than once, Kurt thought he caught a glimpse of a couple of fashion designers, and he was beyond excited. Even the alcohol was fancy: Sebastian ordered something he had never heard of, but it tasted _awesome_. Not the usual word Kurt would employ – he found it too simple – but he was starting to get tipsy. And _awesome_ seemed quite the right word for everything he was feeling:

Sebastian's hands exercising a tight hold on his hips from behind, constantly caressing and rubbing them. Sebastian's mouth on his ear, constantly biting and licking his earlobe. Sebastian's breath all over his neck, constantly making him shiver.

Kurt even closed his eyes twice, unable to stop his head from leaning against Sebastian's shoulder and granting the boy full access to whatever he wanted to take from Kurt.

And Kurt hadn't lied when he said he wanted to dance. He was dancing indeed, and surprisingly, so was Sebastian. Not that Kurt hadn't seen Sebastian dance before, but he didn't use to enjoy it so much.

"God, I've missed this skin" Sebastian whispered on his ear, biting playfully Kurt's neck.

Kurt turned around to face him, grinning like a little kid. He put his arms around Sebastian's shoulders, resting his hands on the other boy's neck. "And I've missed this neck" he bit his own lip.

Kurt looked into Sebastian's eyes and studied them – well, he did his best, considering his tipsy state, but he thought he saw joy. Then he acted impulsively and pressed his lips against Sebastian's, and started kissing the boy like crazy.

Sebastian grabbed Kurt's back and took them to a dark corner, where he returned the kiss properly. With teeth, with want, with excitement. Kurt couldn't help but introduced his hands under Sebastian's shirt, to caress _those_ abs. He was panting by now.

Sebastian's lips left Kurt's and the boy started placing kisses all over Kurt's neck, chin and face, and stopped when reaching Kurt's nose, where he took his time to bite it, kiss it and, mostly, to play with it.

"Bas?" Kurt whispered, scratching Sebastian's lower back.

"Tell me, babe" Sebastian said, stopping to lock eyes with Kurt. They stared at each other for a few seconds, both boys trying to breathe steadily again.

"I just- I think you should know that I-… well, that I'm-" Kurt gulped, nervously. "I think-"

Sebastian came closer and placed a kiss on Kurt's cheek. "Relax."

Kurt took a deep breath, then smiled nervously, looking away. "Look, I've wanted to call you sooner, but-" Kurt bit his lip, struggling "I'm tired of being confused, you know? And you must be _exhausted_" Kurt giggled, trying to joke. But Sebastian didn't find it funny; the boy kept attentively looking at him and had his hands on both sides of Kurt's hips. "Anyway… I didn't want to call you until I was somewhat sure, that I- could handle… _this._"

Sebastian looked surprised. "Are you?" he asked, incredulous.

Kurt locked eyes with him. "Well" he started, grasping the collar of Sebastian's shirt timidly and looking away. "I've realised I'm never gonna be sure of that and… that I've been waiting in vain" Kurt was surprised to hear himself. Alcohol had made him talk, even when he had no idea what he felt or wanted to say. And yet, somehow, he had managed to describe it perfectly. He smiled.

"So… maybe-" Kurt played with the collar "maybe I should stop waiting, and start learning" he stated, simultaneously reaching that conclusion. "Yeah, maybe it's time I learn… how to handle this" he brought his eyes again to meet Sebastian's and smiled cheekily, proud of his "decision".

Sebastian smiled back at him, cockily. Kurt might be losing it, but he thought Sebastian looked also proud of him. The boy brought Kurt closer with his hands.

"Meaning that… this is not the last I'm seeing of you, right?"

Kurt regarded him, surprised. "Why would it be so?"

"Well- you're acting so spontaneous and loose tonight... I thought maybe it was the thrill of the last time" Sebastian explained, shaking his head as if he had just said some nonsense.

Kurt meditated it. Yeah, he was feeling sort of freer tonight. But it might be about finally having people to talk about what he was going through. Talking to Rachel had been healing for him. She was her best friend. And she had encouraged him to take some risks.

"I feel looser" Kurt conceded, smiling. "You have that effect on me" he whispered on Sebastian's ear. _Ups, those drinks are working_.

"Kurt" Sebastian's reaction was to smirk and to trap him against the wall. "Don't tease" Sebastian warned him, grabbing Kurt's ass cheeks.

"I'm not!" Kurt protested, though his face showed anything but disgust. "I just meant that I like how you make me feel, Bas" he breathed out with difficulty, since Sebastian's body was now pressed against his.

Sebastian stared at him, raising an eyebrow as if he was studying Kurt. Sebastian's expression was full of want – fierce, merciless want. Kurt trembled.

"And I want much more than tonight" Kurt let slip. It was hard to hide from that implacable look.

For a moment, Kurt feared he had said too much. The alcohol and Sebastian's gaze seemed to have the effect of a powerful _veritaserum _on him. But then Sebastian's reaction put him at ease. The boy smiled, pleased, and attacked Kurt's lips.

They made out roughly against the wall, and Kurt didn't even remember they were in a public place. Once he had Sebastian, it was hard to even acknowledge any other living or non-living thing around him.

When their mouths could no longer stand the speed, they broke it, granting his lungs a break too.

"We have time, then" Sebastian smiled, caressing his cheek. "How about we order something and dance some more?" he suggested.

Kurt nodded, because his mouth was too dry to pronounce a single word.

/

Two drinks later, Kurt was starting to feel clumsy. He had almost fallen twice, and he kept tripping with his own feet. Sebastian couldn't stop laughing at him, although he was always there to grab him and avoid the fall.

"I'd say we've drunk enough, wouldn't you?" Sebastian asked him, while Kurt kept twirling around him, shaking his shoulders.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at him and showed Sebastian his ear. The noise was too loud. "What?"

Sebastian grabbed him by the waist and said loud enough: "Wanna catch some air?" he asked Kurt.

Kurt nodded and smiled, and turned to walk towards what he thought was the exit. Sebastian grabbed his wrist, chuckling. "This way."

They were not far from Central Perk, so they decided to buy a couple of hot dogs and sit on a bench once they got there.

"I'd like to see you perform again" Kurt told Sebastian, out of the blue. He was chewing distractedly, and didn't realise what he'd just said until he found Sebastian's eyes scrutinising his. "Don't give me that look, meerkat" Kurt coughed, almost choking. Sebastian patted his back, gently. "Thanks" Kurt said.

"Anytime" Sebastian replied, but his hand didn't leave Kurt's back once Kurt looked visibly better. He continue caressing the spot. "So… why is that?" Sebastian asked, somewhat intrigued.

Kurt bit his lip, considering it. "Well, to be completely honest… I'm afraid I paid you little attention when you performed at Regionals" Kurt admitted, smiling coyly. "Enough to bitterly witness that you were good, but not enough to actually remember _you_" Kurt explained, "you know?"

Sebastian 'mmh' him, smiling. "I resent that, gayface" he said, but he looked anything but resented. They both chuckled. "I do remember you" Sebastian told him, and Kurt couldn't help but narrowing his eyes at him.

"Really?" Kurt asked, incredulously.

"Hey, don't give me that look either!" Sebastian protested, coming closer. Suddenly his breath was so close to Kurt's cheek that the situation had instantly become intimate. "You _actually_ looked at me during that 'Michael' number at Regionals, and went for the spotlight to show me how strong your hips game was" Sebastian smirked, grabbing both sides of Kurt's hips playfully. He left his hands there and Kurt showed no interest in shaking them off.

Kurt blushed instead, his mind wandering back towards that number and remembering what on Earth brought him to do such thing. "Oh" he made, shifting on his seat, "I guess I saw you looking at Blaine and- I remember you were even on your feet, clapping, and you looked so... cheery" Kurt described, "it annoyed me _so_ much" he giggled.

"Then you started moving that gracious pelvis of yours" Sebastian's hand got dangerously close to said place, "and I couldn't help but thinking: '_Damn,_" Sebastian bit his lower lip, "_that's hot_'" he smirked.

"You thought I was hot?" Kurt asked, perplexed.

Sebastian sighed, amused. "Kurt, I believe maybe that was not your intention, but you _asked _for my attention" the boy explained, "you caught me eye-fucking Blaine, and reacted giving me your best game."

Kurt's eyes went wide.

"I guessed it was your way to say: 'hey, try to beat this'" Sebastian joked, "but it was a pretty erotic way to express it" his hand was now caressing Kurt's thigh, "and you can't blame me if later that night… that image kept popping out in my head… teasing me" Sebastian said with a deep, sultry voice.

Kurt's cheeks were burning. Then Kurt realised he was biting his lower lip so hard it could start bleeding any moment. Sebastian's free hand reached his lips, and used the thumb to liberate Kurt's lower lip from the pressure.

"Sebastian…" Kurt needed to ask, his mind entering a trance where all he could hear or feel was Sebastian's smooth voice. "Are you serious?" he asked timidly. Kurt could have sworn Sebastian found him repulsive during high school.

Sebastian nodded, giving Kurt an arrogant side smile, and moving his hand from Kurt's lips to grab Kurt's neck and whisper on his ear: "It was jerking material for quite a while, actually."

Kurt shivered perceptibly, and had to close his eyes to let that sink it.

"And here I was wondering when my shy gayface would come out to play" Sebastian said, his hand now underneath Kurt's shirt, calmly feeling the skin.

Kurt opened his eyes and met Sebastian's. Sebastian smiled cheekily and came forwards to kiss him aggressively. Kurt broke it, nervously. "Hey, we're on a public place" Kurt complained.

Sebastian chuckled against his neck. "You didn't seem to care about that earlier."

Kurt rolled his eyes, liberating himself from Sebastian. "That's because you cloud my judgement" Kurt admitted, containing a smile. He sat properly on the bench and looked up, resting his head on Sebastian's shoulder. Sebastian gave up and faced the sky too. "It's about to dawn" Kurt commented, after a minute or two.

"Mmh" Sebastian agreed, distractedly. Then he looked at Kurt. "I joined NYU Theatre Club at the beginning of this semester" he said casually.

Kurt lifted his head and squeezed Sebastian's knee. "That's great" he said, excitedly.

"Is it?" Sebastian asked him raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah" Kurt nodded, cheerily. "It's important to keep in touch with your inner artist" he said, and now it was him the one caressing Sebastian's thigh.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, but smiled at him. "You would say that" he joked.

"Of course I would" Kurt played along, resting his head again on Sebastian's shoulder. "So… will I get to see you?" he asked, tentatively.

"Not really" Sebastian replied, gaining a confused look from Kurt. Sebastian regarded him with curiosity. "I'm sorry to disappoint you, babe" Sebastian joked, "but you're a week late."

Kurt opened his mouth with disbelief. "That sucks" he bit his lip. "Why didn't you say anything?" Kurt protested.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him. "I don't know" he said hesitantly. "It never came up, I guess" he shrugged.

Kurt sighed, regarding the boy in front of him. Sebastian had no trouble in letting him know what his jerking material was, but God forbid Kurt knew some actual, real stuff about his life. "Well- let me know next time" Kurt asked him, sincerely. "How did it go?"

Sebastian didn't answer immediately – he looked too busy studying Kurt. Kurt gulped, taken aback by Sebastian's scrutinising eyes. "The play, I mean – did it go well?" Kurt asked tentatively, again.

Sebastian nodded, relaxing. "It could've been worse, I guess" he said somewhat insecurely.

Kurt smiled at him. "What was your role?"

Sebastian returned the smile. "I played Charley, in _Death of a Salesman_ – you know the play?" he asked Kurt.

"Of course" Kurt answered, brightly. "One of my favourites, actually."

"Oh, thank God you didn't see us perform, then" the boy chuckled.

Kurt shook his head in disbelief, rolling his eyes. "I just find weird that Edna wouldn't brag about it" Kurt joked, but then it hit him. Who said Edna wasn't as oblivious as he was? "Because you did tell her, right?" Kurt asked Sebastian, seriously now.

Sebastian looked away. "Kurt, I didn't tell anyone really" he admitted, like it was no big deal.

Kurt felt exasperated at Sebastian's poor communication skills, but tried not to show it. "Sebastian… that's not fair" he said.

Sebastian locked eyes with him. "Kurt, it was a stupid, freshmen play" the boy rolled his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, jeez."

"But it was _your_ play" Kurt protested. "People who care about you wouldn't find it stupid at all – they'd actually like to see you" he explained, then he bit his tongue, to stop himself from being any more embarrassing. He knew by now that Sebastian didn't like being pushed.

Sebastian looked uncomfortable, and Kurt tried hard not to panic. "Anyway…" Kurt gulped, nervously. "I'm sure you made a great Charley" he smiled somewhat awkwardly. Sebastian sighed and gave him a knowing smile.

"Thanks, sweet cheeks" Sebastian whispered, grabbing Kurt by the shoulder and coming close to plant a kiss on Kurt's cheek.

"Anytime" Kurt mumbled, not expecting at all to be greeted by Sebastian's sweetness right that moment.


	16. Chapter 16

Again, thanks for reading and reviewing ^^ it's what keeps this going!

P.s. I don't own glee!

* * *

In case they hadn't partied enough, once they reached Sebastian's, said boy brought out some wine, and they kept drinking until sunrise.

It was not for everybody – the intense dynamic Sebastian and Kurt entered every time they met. It amazed Kurt, how fast they could turn any slightly suggestive comment into an excuse to make out wildly.

They were laying on Sebastian's bed now, fully clothed. And yes, they made out every now and then, but, mostly, they were simply laying down, kind of wasted and exhausted from all that dancing and drinking. The alcohol still echoed throughout Kurt's movements and reactions. He didn't feel mentally drunk – only his perception was slightly slowed down. But apparently his body disagreed.

Kurt didn't mind going all the way with Sebastian, though – actually, it was Sebastian who kept breaking it off every time things got too intense.

Kurt decided to show the other boy some determination, so he clumsily climbed on top of him, abruptly, and started undoing Sebastian's buttons. Sebastian grabbed his hands and stopped him, though.

Kurt felt incredibly embarrassed. "Oh- sorry" he mumbled, climbing down and straightening his own shirt. He looked away, biting his lip, but Sebastian sat himself too and grabbed Kurt's cheek to meet his eyes.

"Don't be, Kurt" Sebastian said, and he looked honest. Kurt gave him a confused look. "I just think we're both too drunk and horny" Sebastian explained, casually.

"What's wrong with that?" Kurt asked, a little irritated. They were not teenagers anymore.

"What's wrong" Sebastian stated somewhat fiercely, "it's that I'm gonna want to be fully aware and energised when I witness how you come undone under me."

Kurt tried to look away, to hide how that affected him, but Sebastian's hold on his cheek was firm. "If a cheap, ordinary fuck is what you want, then you're wasting both our times" Sebastian's tone was deep now, "but I don't think that's what you want, do you?" he demanded.

"You know I don't" Kurt responded, somewhat shyly.

"Then don't ask for something you don't want, Kurt" Sebastian said, softer now, "you won't enjoy it, and neither will I" he came closer and brushed his nose against the corner of Kurt's lip. "Let me give you what you do want – and that, I can assure you, will be _memorable_" he said, "jerking material" Sebastian even joked.

Kurt locked eyes with him, breathing uneasily, and felt the urge to trust Sebastian. He nodded. "You're right. I was just- trying to be determined" Kurt admitted, giving Sebastian a small smile.

"And I _love_ that" Sebastian whispered on his ear, then brought up his hand to stroke Kurt's hair. "But I don't want you to regret it later" he added, after a few seconds.

Kurt frowned, more surprised than upset. He saw it on Sebastian's eyes: insecurity. Kurt could have asked him a million things, to make Sebastian explain himself further. But his body instinctive reaction was to put his arms around Sebastian and tell him: "I wouldn't regret that." Kurt tried to pull off his most convincing voice ever. He just hoped it'd sound as persuasive as Sebastian's.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him, somewhat uncertain. Kurt moved his hands tentatively, to caress Sebastian's clavicles. "I wanna be fully aware of you too" Kurt said, before he could regret it. "That much I agree" Kurt assured him, "but I think this is the first time we're drunk together, so… you should know by now that I also want you when I'm sober" Kurt lowered down his voice a bit, ordering his eyes to meet Sebastian's.

"I know you do" Sebastian granted him, smiling brightly, and the boy couldn't stop himself from biting Kurt's ear. "But I also know you don't just go fucking people around, Kurt."

"Sebastian, you're not just _people_" Kurt sighed, because he had just discovered yet another ground where they didn't share the same perspective: "And I– I don't go touching people around either – that feels as intimate for me as… doing it." Sometimes even the way Sebastian looked at him felt intimate. Kurt wouldn't say that out loud, though.

"Oh" Sebastian made, realising what Kurt meant now. "Okay," he conceded, "I guess I didn't… see it that way" Sebastian gave him a side smile. "We can go for it, then…" he said suggestively, attacking Kurt's ear.

"I still think you were right about being fully aware, though…" Kurt rushed to add, smiling awkwardly. "I mean- I liked that" Kurt admitted.

Sebastian chuckled. "I brought that upon myself" he joked, accepting defeat.

"Yep," Kurt smiled cheekily, "your bad."

They laid down again, face up. "I envy that" Sebastian said casually while Kurt stroked his hair, mindlessly.

"What do you mean?" Kurt asked him, not sure he was following Sebastian's train of thoughts.

"That you find simply touching to be intimate" the boy explained, turning his head to rest it on the crook of Kurt's neck. His breath felt warm on Kurt's skin.

Kurt's hand went momentarily still at those words, but he carried on the second he felt Sebastian's breath on him. "It might be my lack of experience" Kurt wondered. "Maybe it's a beginner thing" he joked.

Sebastian snorted. "I don't know about that" he said. "Intimacy has never felt too genuine for me, even when I started messing around" Sebastian confessed. "Touching is usually taken for granted" he said then, staring right at Kurt.

Kurt gulped. "I don't think I like that" he admitted.

Sebastian smiled at him, knowingly. "I know – that's why I envy you" he repeated, "I don't care that much, really".

Kurt's hand went still again as his body froze, filled with a haunting doubt. Did Kurt's touch feel genuine for Sebastian? Sebastian looked at him again, expectantly.

"What's on your mind?" Sebastian asked him. Kurt felt too tired and slow to come up with a good cover.

"I was wondering-" Kurt swallowed down the nod on his throat, "if- maybe my touch… doesn't feel too genuine either?" Kurt asked rhetorically, even though he knew that was quite personal. "You don't have to answer" Kurt assured him, "you asked me, and that's simply what I was wondering."

"It does" Sebastian simply answered, scratching Kurt's chest.

Kurt relaxed, smiling briefly, and his hand started working again. It stopped eventually, when they both fell silently asleep.

/

Kurt woke up indecently early. That's just how hangover liked to pay him back, besides some unbearable stomach ache.

A few minutes went by during which he could barely manage to blink. He swallowed down repeatedly, trying to gather some new, non-sticky saliva on his mouth. And that's all the work he assigned himself for a while.

Then, when he got cramp twice on his belly, Kurt started to feel fully and painfully awake. He proceeded to mentally swear not to ever drink again, and finally decided to study the situation, which was his body trapped under Sebastian's.

_Boy_, Sebastian did really not share common people boundaries of personal space. It was one thing to cuddle when falling asleep, and a whole other to crash your 'bed buddy' with your weight.

It felt warm, though. And really, if it wasn't because Kurt's lungs felt somewhat compressed, Kurt would even appreciate the intimacy of the situation. But right that moment, all Kurt could think of was that he'd been awake for almost an hour and still had no idea how to act on anything.

In order to liberate himself and get up, he'd have to wake Sebastian up, and that didn't seem too nice. Plus, dared he admit it, he was sort of dreading the confrontation. Meaning that he felt an awkward moment coming. How would they proceed now? Would they have breakfast together? Would Sebastian politely kick him out? Kurt was not mentally or physically ready to make such decisions, so even if his whole body ached, he would not move underneath Sebastian.

At least, that's what he thought at first. Half an hour later, he _really_ needed to use the bathroom.

Kurt bit hard his lip, and slowly turned his head to observe Sebastian's condition. The boy looked severely asleep, yeah, but he also looked… different. So calm and vulnerable that Kurt's heart skipped a beat. The boy laying there represented a facet to Sebastian that Kurt had never seen before.

Kurt smiled unconsciously, then decided that, no matter how much it pained him to disturb Sebastian's calm and mystique state, he'd take the risk. His bladder was complaining too loudly now.

He started moving inch by inch to the edge of the bed, although that was not a large distance. That granted him some air, but his body was still pretty much trapped. Then he decided to keep moving to the feet of the bed, pleased at himself for his brilliant idea. But the moment he moved down, he took one of Sebastian's legs with him, waking him up. _Dammit_.

Sebastian opened an eye and observed him, not looking very happy.

Kurt gulped. "Hey… I really need to go to the bathroom" he smiled awkwardly.

Sebastian gave him a side smile and closed his eye again. Then the boy nodded. But he didn't move. Kurt sighed, feeling really sorry for his bladder.

He grabbed Sebastian's legs and lift them to put them away. Then he pushed Sebastian's torso away too. "Sorry" he mumbled.

Kurt reached the bathroom, incredibly relieved. Once he took care of his bladder, it was time to study his hair and face situation. Well, his face demanded some particular products he knew Sebastian wouldn't have, so he simply washed it and let it breathe. His hair… oh, his hair was a disaster. It looked like he had bangs all over again. And he had sworn off bangs a long time ago. But adding more product would make it look even dirtier. Would it be too much, to take a shower?

He was considering that when Sebastian entered the bathroom too, and went straight for the WC. _Well, now we're peeing buddies_, Kurt thought very uncomfortably.

"Oh wait, I'll give you some space" Kurt told him and went for the door.

"That's okay" Sebastian assured him, still half asleep. "You wanna take a shower?" the boy asked him.

"Yeah," Kurt said brightly, "thank you, my body really needs it" he added.

"No problem" Sebastian said. Then he took of his boxers and threw 'em into a basket.

"Oh" Kurt made, suddenly realising he would not be alone in the shower. He took a few discrete breaths, ordering himself to calm down.

Sebastian passed by him and got in the shower, pressing several water taps. Of course, his shower had to be fancy.

Kurt didn't grant himself more time to regret it. He took off his boxers too and got into the shower. Sebastian grabbed his hand and brought him where the water was falling. "Come here."

Kurt smiled shyly and let the water fall all over his hair and shoulders. Sebastian pressed him against the wall momentarily when he reached his hand to turn on yet another tap. Now the water fell all over both their bodies. It was warm and it felt great. "Mm" Kurt made, unconsciously.

The space felt almost sacred. It was a very clean, very white and very spacious shower. And both boys remained silent, taking in the water. Kurt even closed his eyes.

Then he felt Sebastian moving and a few seconds' later two soapy hands rubbing his back. His eyes popped up open. Sebastian's fingers were not simply covering his skin with soap, but they were also kind of massaging it. It felt amazing, but it seemed like a lot of work. Kurt observed him, thankful. And widened his eyes with shock momentarily when Sebastian's hand gently caressed his ass.

Then it was his hair's turn, and he felt Sebastian's fingers stroking it tenderly. He had to close his eyes again for a few seconds. When he opened them again, he met Sebastian's, who looked still kind of sleepy. Kurt couldn't contain a small smile and brought his hands to Sebastian's face, reaching Sebastian's eyes to close them. Then Kurt soaped his hands too, and decided to return the favour.

Somewhere around Sebastian's pelvis, the boy should feel slightly more awake, because he grabbed Kurt's waist and placed him against the wall, this time to kiss him. Lazily at first, but more knowingly as time went by. And his mouth kept going down, wet and open, placing kisses all over Kurt's neck, chest and belly.

After kissing his belly, Kurt thought Sebastian would come up again, but the boy stayed down there, caressing Kurt's pelvis. Kurt looked down, and met Sebastian's hungry eyes. "Bas?"

"I'm gonna make you feel good" the boy said, then Kurt suddenly felt Sebastian's mouth on his erection, and gasped abruptly.

Sebastian took a firm hold on Kurt's hips, immobilising him. And Kurt witnessed, overwhelmed, the spectacle of having Sebastian down there. They even locked eyes every now and then, and Kurt couldn't have talked even if he had wanted. He doubted he could articulate a single word near Sebastian ever again. It was too early in the morning for him to process something like that. And it was so intimate. His mind went blank.

Kurt grasped Sebastian's hair to warn him that he was about to come, but the boy didn't seem to get it – in fact, when Kurt gave it a second thought, it was a gesture easy to misunderstand. It might look like Kurt felt more aroused. So he had to force himself to use his mouth. "Bas, hey, I'm uh-" he breathed out, panting, "I'm gonna come." Sebastian showed no signs to want to let go of his dick. "Bas" Kurt repeated, "I'm so close, really" he warned him again, patting Sebastian's shoulders with his hands. Kurt wouldn't be able to contain it any much longer.

But Sebastian would be finished when he was finished. So the boy kept licking Kurt's lower parts a little longer before letting go of 'em. When he did, Kurt almost instantly came, hiding his head on Sebastian's chest and breathing with difficulty against it. He remained still, frozen actually, unable to move or to even exist for a long couple of minutes.

Sebastian held him and placed a kiss on the top of his head, and before Kurt could realise it, the boy was, once again, soaping him and cleaning Kurt's lower parts.

"O- Thanks" Kurt breathed out, tiredly.

"Anytime" Sebastian replied, smiling cockily. The vulnerability and calm that came with sleepy-Sebastian were gone. There was a smirk instead. Not that Kurt didn't like it just as much.

Kurt smiled shyly, and placed himself where the water fell again. Sebastian did the same.

"You hungry?" Sebastian asked, after a few minutes.

Kurt turned his head to look at him, sort of surprised. "Yeah" Kurt said, thankful. "I really am" he admitted.

Sebastian gave him a small smile and got out the shower, looking for two towels. Kurt observed him, at awe. Maybe it was that Kurt was used to work as a team in bed – meaning that he and Blaine would _both_ find relief whenever they were intimate, and wouldn't stop until they were both satisfied. But he sort of thought that it was his turn now to return Sebastian the _favour_. Apparently not, though. Sebastian was quite selfless in bed, Kurt was learning. And it was overwhelming. Sebastian was overwhelming.

Kurt decided he would make breakfast, though. That had felt way too amazing to not thank Sebastian someway.

/

Kurt was fully dressed and fed now, looking for his cell phone to leave Sebastian's apartment.

"Here, gayface" Sebastian was behind him, with said object on his hand. Kurt took it, his hand lingering a second more than intended on top of Sebastian's. He smiled briefly and walked towards the door. Sebastian followed him and opened the door for him.

"So" Kurt said, standing under the doorframe, "can we not wait two weeks to meet again?" he suggested, scratching his head nervously.

Sebastian chuckled. "Deal" he smirked.

They locked eyes for a few seconds, none of them knowing what to do or say. Then Kurt realised if they remained like that any much longer, he'd blush. So he acted impulsively and kissed Sebastian's cheek. "See you, Bas."

Sebastian's smirk fell. He gave Kurt a brief, yet genuine, small smile. "See you, babe."

/

Kurt felt like taking a walk. Besides, he was in absolutely no hurry to go home. This time, he would not get away with keeping it for himself. This time Rachel and Santana would have no mercy with him. Had it been another boy and not Sebastian, _the criminal slut_, Kurt would be dying to tell them everything, though.

Kurt knew that was not a good sign. To be dying to tell his friends _how much_ he liked Sebastian. _Oh_, he was even more screwed than before.

How could he get Sebastian so wrong back in the day? Kurt had decided that no one could have changed that much. In fact, there were still a lot of things about Sebastian that remained intact. His sarcasm, his harshness… only that now Kurt appreciated 'em, and also, that now Kurt had discovered some other _new_ things too: his sweetness when the boy realised he was coming on too strong on Kurt, and his selflessness when they were together. Kurt was already finding himself eager to be more giving with the boy. So far, it felt like Sebastian had been slowing down his rhythm because of him. And that Kurt appreciated, but he also wanted to know what it felt like to catch up with Sebastian fearless speed.

Some other new aspects Kurt was having a hard time dealing with. Like how hard it was to really get to know Sebastian. The boy could be so honest, and yet so uncommunicative. Kurt only feared Sebastian would not grant him the access to that part of him. That their relationship might get stuck on the physical level.

/

Not that the physical level wasn't working fine for Kurt. For almost five hours, all he could think of was the scene in the shower. Sebastian's determination when it came to sex was unbearably hot. And Kurt craved for the promise that Sebastian had made of a very _memorable_ intimate time coming.

Even though he was alone at home (none of the girls were there when he arrived), Kurt was trying to discretely put these thoughts away – they might come any minute – when his cell phone buzzed.

**From Sebastian S. (07:43 p.m.): When will you let me have you, marble?**

Kurt gulped, feeling an arousal already coming. He typed back quickly.

**To Sebastian S. (07:45 p.m.): I fear you already have me, meerkat.**

Kurt pressed 'send', blushing furiously when he realised how unnecessarily honest that was. _Too late_, he damned himself.

The most painful five minutes of his life went by. Kurt bit his nails nervously waiting for Sebastian to mock him harshly.

**From Sebastian S. (07:50 p.m.): You're sweet, sweet cheeks. But I had a little more provocative idea in mind. Wanna hear it?**

Kurt's cheeks burnt even further. Thankfully, Sebastian had chosen to let his 'sweetness' be. Kurt felt relieved, but also, somehow… more unsettled. Something about Sebastian not mocking how cheesy he'd just been, didn't seem quite right.

**To Sebastian S. (07:53 p.m.): I think you're gonna tell me even if I don't want to... But I do want to ;)**

**From Sebastian S. (07:59 p.m.): I would, but only for your own good. Sometimes you need a little push ;P**

**To Sebastian S. (08:02 p.m.): I can't disagree. So… you're gonna tell me?**

**From Sebastian S. (08:04 p.m.): So you're admitting you like it when I push you?**

**To Sebastian S. (08:06 p.m.): I'm starting to think you were bragging. **

**From Sebastian S. (08:07 p.m.): You wish. Prepare to blush hard, babe.**

Kurt swallowed down and took the quick decision to go to his room. He got under the covers.

**From Sebastian S. (08:10 p.m.): By 'have you', I meant I want to have you underneath me. Sweaty, panting, trembling and moaning my name. I want to have you opened and eager to receive me inside you. And I wanna eat you, all of you, making you feel more aware of me that you've ever been. I want to have you all for myself. I want to have every inch of you. I'm selfish like that. **

Kurt put the covers over his head and went for the feet of the bed, bringing a pillow with him to build some sort of shelter. He didn't feel safe enough having his blushing face at open air, where any potential roomie coming back to the flat could see it.

**To Sebastian S. (08:15 p.m.): Damn you, meerkat, what are you doing to me? I want all that. Exactly and precisely. **

Kurt bit his lip and pressed 'send', then cuddled around the pillow, trying to get over _everything_.

**From Sebastian S. (08:17 p.m.): I know you do, babe. And I wanna make it real good for you. Will you let me satisfy you?**

**To Sebastian S. (08:19 p.m.): Yes**

Kurt simply said, unbearably turned on. _Oh God_, he was hard from a couple of texts. His mind wandered back towards the shower scene from that morning, and, before he could change his mind, he started typing again.

**To Sebastian S. (08:21 p.m.): I will, but I'd like to take care of your needs too, Bas **

**From Sebastian S. (08:25 p.m.): Worry not, sweet gayface. I'm sure you'll make a wonderful job ;)**

**To Sebastian S. (08:28 p.m.): :) I like that. I'm gonna leave you now before my "situation" gets worse, if you know what I mean. **

**From Sebastian S. (08:30 p.m.): Hahaha you could always come over**

Kurt's heart stuttered. Twice, on the same day? Kurt knew he still had to drive himself carefully around Sebastian. One too daring move and he'd start falling for the boy. If he hadn't started yet. _Right_.

**To Sebastian S. (08:32 p.m.): Tempting :P But it's a PJs&movie kind of night. Boring, I know. I'm too lazy to move right now.**

Kurt pressed 'send'. When a few minutes passed and he got no reply, he deduced the conversation was over. He got up lively, and decided to cook something fancy to himself while he pondered what to watch. It would be that kind of night, but he was facing it way much better than he had last night. Now he actually looked forward to it.

He was completely focused on his lasagne recipe, when he heard a buzz coming from the table. His cell phone' screen was enlightened. He grabbed it. New text message.

**From Sebastian S. (08:45 p.m.): I could come over, then.**


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks everybody for reading ^^ and reviewing too!

Now, this is the cheesiest chapter ever. But I did warn on the description that it'd be a story of romance and friendship so... It was about time! hehe

I hope you enjoy the chapter!

Ps. I don't own Glee. I just wish I could work there.

* * *

_From Sebastian S. (08:45 p.m.): I could come over, then._

Kurt shivered. Okay, how could he not want Sebastian to come over? After all, both Santana and Rachel knew about them now. Besides, none of them were on the apartment. That didn't mean they wouldn't come back soon, though...

_Ugh_. Who was he trying to fool? It was not the girls that Kurt feared. It was himself. He had a limited amount of restraint and energy to keep his feelings and emotions at bay around Sebastian. Kurt might have acted brave and determined last night, but he doubted he had it in him to be like that two days on a row without getting conflicted.

So he decided he'd be honest. Well, sort of.

**To Sebastian S. (08:58 p.m.): Okay, your texts were suggestive, but I really meant I'm having a lazy night. No funny business allowed. If you accept my terms though, I gladly invite you to come over :P**

_Done_, he thought while pressing 'send'. Kurt was quite certain Sebastian would not be interested if there was no guarantee of _funny business_. And Kurt was really feeling in the mood for a lazy night. So there was no harm.

**From Sebastian S. (09:03 p.m.): Ha! I'll try to control myself. See you in 30''**

Kurt's eyes went wide with shock when he read the text. Okay, so that hadn't really worked.

_Now I've seen everything_, Kurt thought. Did Sebastian really want to spend his Saturday night like that? Or was he secretly hoping they'd have sex? Either way, Kurt had no choice now but to let him come over.

He sighed, and started typing back.

**To Sebastian S. (09:07 p.m.): You better bring some of your mom's pastries then!**

If Kurt was to suffer, then he'd prefer to do it with a happy stomach.

/

"How can you not like Julie? What kind of musical theatre geek you are?" Kurt asked, dramatically shocked, with his mouth full of lasagne.

"I'm none!" Sebastian protested, rolling his eyes, and he dug his fork on Kurt's plate. "I joined the Warblers because I liked performing, and the theatre club looked so _lame_" he said, swallowing down.

Kurt observed him exasperated. "For the third time, Sebastian – there's more lasagne on the kitchen table." But Sebastian ignored him and stole food from his plate again.

The boy continued, pretending not to hear Kurt. "Plus, I didn't say I didn't like her. I'm just indifferent to the woman" Sebastian shrugged casually. Kurt's jaw fell open – he felt almost offended. "Oh, you're so dramatic" Sebastian joked, "all I said was that I didn't like _The Sound of Music_."

"Shh!" Kurt made, coming forwards and covering Sebastian's mouth with his own hands, playfully. "I told you – every time someone says that, a kitten dies" he giggled.

Kurt locked eyes with Sebastian for a moment, and he had the feeling that whatever the thought invading Sebastian's mind right now, it couldn't be a good idea. Kurt uncovered Sebastian's mouth and the boy gave him a cheeky, malicious smile. Kurt moved back on the couch but it was too late. Sebastian trapped his hands and immobilised him.

"Hey!" Kurt complained, though he was still giggling. Sebastian placed himself on top of Kurt, forcing him to lay his back down on the coach.

"Now," Sebastian smirked – Kurt observed him intrigued, "which movie we're _not_ gonna watch tonight?" he demanded, and Kurt tried to move his legs, to kick him or else, but Sebastian's body blocked him.

"Oh, you little tyrant!" Kurt complained, shaking his upper body. Sebastian bit his lip, amused, and started tickling Kurt's sides. Kurt laughed hard, uncontrollably. "Oh, stop it" Kurt begged, his cheeks hurting from the laughter, "please, Sebastian, I can get very aggressive when I'm tickled – I'm warning you!"

"I'd like to see that" Sebastian argued sarcastically, and kept attacking Kurt's sides.

"I'm serious! I can't control it! S_tooop_!" Kurt's voice reached its highest tone. Then, as Kurt had announced, he started losing control of his actions. He moved and shook trying to liberate himself in vain. Then, he used the only part of his body he still could control in order to defend himself: his mouth. Kurt bit everything he had at reach: Sebastian's shoulder, shirt, head… anything. It was a defence mechanism Kurt had unconsciously developed when he was a child.

"Ahh, you bit me!" Sebastian complained, and lifted his hand to rub his head, with a painful expression. It liberated Kurt in the process.

Kurt sat himself and started apologising, regaining a steady breathing. "Oh, Sebastian, I'm so, so sorry!" he brought up his hand to caress Sebastian's head. "I tried to warn you!" Kurt protested.

"You actually _bit_ me" Sebastian repeated, looking shocked, but at the same time, somewhat amused, "everywhere". Then Kurt witnessed Sebastian's eyes getting darker. "You were so out of control" the boy chuckled, biting his lip, "it was kind of hot" he added, staring right at Kurt.

Kurt blushed. "Ho-hot?" he stuttered, feeling dumb. "But I hurt you, didn't I?" he asked, coming closer to study Sebastian's head, still caressing it.

Sebastian gave him a side smile, shaking his head on a dismissal gesture, and brought his hands to Kurt's lips, putting them aside to study his teeth. Kurt felt weirdly observed.

"Bite me again" Sebastian suddenly demanded, with that unquestionable tone.

Kurt was taken aback by the sudden roughness. "What?!" he asked, freaking out.

Sebastian pressed his thumb on Kurt's lower lip and his expression got serious, demanding. "Bite me" he repeated, looking right at Kurt's eyes. Challenging him.

Kurt widened his eyes, perplexed. Sebastian turned his head to the side, offering Kurt his neck. "Come on," Sebastian said, his hands now caressing both Kurt's thighs reassuringly, "I know you have a thing for my neck" he added, calmly.

Kurt did nothing. He just observed the boy in front of him, wondering if this was a normal behaviour or Sebastian was kidding him.

"Bite it" Sebastian commanded now, somewhat harshly.

That made Kurt react. He instantly came closer, compelled by Sebastian's fierceness. Kurt touched the skin, feeling it… and he gently bit it.

"Harder" Sebastian demanded him immediately.

Kurt breathed out, not sure if he was excited or scared. He came closer again and bit Sebastian's neck, slightly harder this time. Before Sebastian could tell him off again, Kurt unconsciously bit another spot a little higher, and added some extra pressure on the bite.

Sebastian breathed out somewhat louder, which Kurt took as a good sign. He continued biting Sebastian's neck, never too hard though. Sebastian's hold on his thighs became tighter.

A few seconds later the bites turned into kisses – Kurt really couldn't tell when or how. He kissed every spot around Sebastian's neck, chin, ears and clavicles. _God_, he was starting to get obsessed with those clavicles too. Sebastian grabbed Kurt's back and laid themselves down. Two seconds later, Kurt realised he was on top of Sebastian now.

_Sweet Gaga_, how had they ended up like this? Kurt meant it when he said he didn't want any 'funny business' tonight! But having Sebastian underneath him was so… compelling. The boy kept looking at him, vulnerable and expecting, and Kurt didn't want him to feel rejected.

So instead, he came down and kissed Sebastian's lips tenderly, for a few seconds. Suddenly the rush and the heat were gone.

Sebastian broke the kiss and brought his hand to caress Kurt's face. "What's wrong?"

Kurt observed him, unsure. "I don't know" he said honestly, then brushed his nose against Sebastian's. "I suddenly remembered the text I sent you" Kurt admitted.

Sebastian expression turned thoughtful, but the boy kept feeling Kurt's face with his hand, distractedly. Kurt closed his eyes unconsciously. "We can stop if you want" Sebastian said then.

Kurt opened his eyes again. "Oh-" he made, somewhat relieved. "Would that be okay?" he asked tentatively.

Sebastian's eyes were smiling. "Sure. I told you I could control myself, didn't I?" the boy said, giving Kurt a cheeky smile.

Kurt kissed him again, briefly, because he startled at the sound of a slam of the door. He got up abruptly, nervously, to find Rachel dropping his coat on the kitchen table and carrying what it looked like an endless amount of bags.

She turned her head towards the living room and found a visibly panicked Kurt staring at her. "Oh, hey! I didn't see you ther-" she stopped when Sebastian got up too. "Oh. Hey" she said, somewhat perplexed.

"Hi, Rachel" Sebastian said, casually. Kurt observed him at awe. How did he do it? Did nothing ever make him nervous? "You need some help with that?" Sebastian asked her, and before Rachel could even open her mouth to say something, the boy was already there picking up some bags from the floor.

It took Kurt a couple of seconds to react, but he hurried to help Rachel too.

"Well, thank you" she said cheerily. "How you've been, Sebastian?" she politely asked. If there was one thing Rachel Berry was, that was polite. Even to her mortal enemy. _Don't be dramatic, Hummel_, Kurt thought.

"I'm fine, thanks. Can't complain myself." Sebastian answered politely too. Okay, so that wasn't awkward. Not at all. "What about you? I've been told you landed _Funny Girl_, right?"

Rachel stared at him suspiciously for a few seconds, but answered with a smile anyway. "That's right. I'll only be doing shows for three more weeks, though" she commented, and started unpacking her bags, full of vegetables and healthy food.

Kurt witnessed the whole exchanged mutely. "Oh, how's so?" Sebastian asked, and he managed to look genuinely interested, although Kurt knew he wasn't.

Rachel loved having a chance to talk about herself a little further, so she took it. "I need to move forward" she said, giving Sebastian a face full of determination. "I've been casted to do a TV pilot" she added brightly.

"That's fantastic" Sebastian told her, overdoing it a little with the excitement. Someone who had just known him could take his expression as excitement, but Kurt did know him by now and he knew that was an act. Rachel wouldn't tell the difference, though, so...

"Exactly" she nodded, proudly. "Thank you" she said animatedly. Kurt took the chance to cut in.

"Okay, then. We'll be on my room, Rach" he said, grasping Sebastian by the arm to leave the kitchen/living room.

"Oh" Rachel made, disappointed. "Well, it's been great to see you, Sebastian" she waved her hand cheerily.

_God, you're even weaker than I am_, Kurt thought while scrutinising Rachel. At least it took him more than two encounters to get along with Sebastian.

Sebastian returned the hand gesture. "It's been great to see you too, _Rach_" the boy mimicked Kurt, amused.

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Mmh" Kurt made, narrowing his eyes at Sebastian once he closed the curtains. "That was nice" Kurt commented, testing the waters.

Sebastian chuckled, then he came closer to Kurt and rested his hands on Kurt's waist. "You know I can be nice when I want to" he grinned cockily.

Kurt couldn't help but feeling instantly better by the warm proximity. _Dammit_. He brought up his hands to rub Sebastian's arms and gave him a knowing smile. _Nope – I'm weaker_.

"Wanna lay down on the bed?" Sebastian whispered on his ear, rubbing his nose against it.

Kurt shivered. "Yeah- that sounds… good" he managed to say.

Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hand and sat on the bed. "I think there's something we should discuss first, don't you think?" Sebastian asked him, somewhat seriously.

Kurt's stomach made a twist. "Is there?" Kurt mumbled, sitting beside Sebastian cautiously. His heart started beating faster.

Then Sebastian chuckled, squeezing Kurt's knee. "I mean, I've made clear I'm not watching _The Sound of Music_. What else do you have?" he asked, amused.

Kurt sighed, exasperated. "You scared me" he protested, slapping Sebastian's shoulder and getting up.

Sebastian laughed. "You're such a worrier."

Kurt brought him a box full of DVDs. "This will be easier if you just pick the movie" he said, giving up.

/

Sebastian's sense of irony brought them to watch _Taxi Driver_, a movie Kurt was not even aware he owned – in fact, he was quite certain the only reason it was on his box was because the cover looked incredibly similar to the cover of an old French movie he did own but it wasn't in the box. His father should be really confused.

So they were in Kurt's bed now, laptop in the nightstand and pastries somewhere near their bellies, all snuggled up in a blanket. Sebastian was holding Kurt from behind, one hand stroking his hair and the other simply playing with the fabric of Kurt's T-shirt. Kurt didn't have much access to Sebastian's body from his position, so he grabbed one of Sebastian's legs and put it over his, intertwining them. He stroked Sebastian's knee distractedly.

The movie theatre scene came up and they found each other quietly chuckling, knowingly. "You conveniently omitted 'the poor guy' was actually some sort of mental case, Bastian" Kurt whispered about half an hour later, freaked out.

Sebastian snorted. "I doubted that would help me present my case" he argued, hiding his nose on Kurt's hair.

"Indeed" Kurt replied distractedly. Then a very violent scene came up and he unconsciously reacted squeezing Sebastian's knee a little too tightly. The boy winced. "Sorry" Kurt mumbled, unsettled. Things were not looking good for Robert de Niro.

Blood. Kurt squeezed Sebastian's knee again. "Sorry" he quickly said again, and decided it would be better if he removed his hand from the spot. Sebastian said nothing, but put his arm around Kurt's, caressing it gently. Comforting Kurt.

Kurt realised what Sebastian was doing, and he was about to turn around to observe the boy when he heard a gunshot coming from the laptop. "Oh, dear" he mumbled, trembling.

Sebastian chuckled. "Jeez, it's just a gunshot, Kurt" he said, but kept on caressing Kurt's arm. His breath was now falling right into Kurt's cheek, and, for a moment, it was all Kurt could perceive.

Another gunshot made Kurt pay attention to the movie again. Kurt's hand found its way to Sebastian's free arm, and grabbed the forearm tightly.

"Are you really scared?" Sebastian asked him, intrigued.

Kurt shook his head. "No. I'm just no good with violence" Kurt told him, nervously. And it was the truth. Sometimes, he could not even handle action movies, which used to be a bummer for Blaine. Okay, why would he think about Blaine right now? He shook the thought away.

"Duly noted" Sebastian said, grabbing the hand Kurt had rested on his forearm and intertwining his fingers with Kurt's.

Kurt shivered. Here it was again: the sweetness. Sebastian comforting him. Kurt hadn't felt this good, this warmly and genuinely good, in a while. It wasn't only about Sebastian's proximity. It was about the attitude he was showing Kurt now. Cuddling wasn't about physical contact, but about intimacy. Non-sexual intimacy. The kind of intimacy that used to confuse him.

This time, though, it didn't. In fact, it acted like a trigger, because as soon as the credits appeared, Kurt turned around to face Sebastian, who had just started talking: "So... What did you thin-" and grabbed his T-shirt to bring the boy closer and kiss him, interrupting him. Kurt knew he was falling hard for Sebastian, but every inch of his mind and body wanted to feel close to him right now. So he had little choice.

Sebastian was quite responsive, but it wasn't an aggressive kiss. The boy moved to rest on top of Kurt and Kurt felt like Sebastian was covering him, instead of trapping him, like many other times.

Kurt covered Sebastian's back with his hands, and with every touch he gave Sebastian, Kurt felt like he was giving a little ounce of his energy away.

Sebastian's hands were under Kurt's PJ, warming up his torso with its touch. The boy never went too low, or too high. It felt like Sebastian was simply making contact with him.

And, for quite a while, they did nothing else than that. They simply held each other and kissed. Kurt felt full of life and wished, with everything he had, that Sebastian was feeling the same.

"I'm really glad you came over" Kurt whispered on his neck, while he inhaled and placed little kisses all over it.

Sebastian kissed the top of Kurt's head. "Me too" the boy conceded, with the less tense tone Kurt had ever heard him. Sebastian sounded so calm, so relaxed, that Kurt wondered if they were both indeed feeling high.

Kurt's thrust his hands under Sebastian's arms and hugged him, placing his head on Sebastian's chest. It was warm and welcoming. Sebastian returned the hug and Kurt felt the other boy's hands on the small of his back. The tips of Sebastian's fingers were slightly touching his waistband.

Kurt's inner voice had gone mute, so he heard no mental warning when he said: "I wanna get to know you better, Bas." It was probably the high talking, but that didn't mean it was untrue. It took Kurt a second to process what he had just said and panic. He hoped he hadn't killed the mood.

"What do you want to know?" Sebastian answered, still calm, which lifted a weight from Kurt's lungs.

"I don't know" Kurt admitted, slowly peeking out his head from Sebastian's chest. "The simple things" Kurt thought out loud, "who's your best friend, what annoys you… I don't even know if you have any brothers, I think."

"I don't" Sebastian replied, now playing with Kurt's waistband. But it wasn't in a suggestive way. "Only child" he continued.

Kurt nodded. "Me too."

Thankfully, Sebastian didn't ignore the rest of his questions. "My best friend lives in France. Anton – he's called. And I see him once or twice a year."

Kurt couldn't help but feel bad for them. It had to be hard not having your best friend around. He hoped Sebastian had some other good friends who lived closer.

"And I guess intolerance annoys me. Disrespect. That sort of things" Sebastian said casually, looking right at Kurt. "What about you? Is Berry your best friend?"

Kurt felt incredibly surprised by how not awkward this was feeling. He smiled. "I think so" he nodded, "Blaine too, but… we've been distant lately – for obvious reasons" he chuckled nervously.

"You'll fix it eventually" Sebastian said, to Kurt's surprise. "You guys probably just need to meet, and sing about it, and then-" Kurt punched him on the ribs playfully. Sebastian laughed.

"Idiot" Kurt said, but he found himself also giggling. He observed Sebastian for a few seconds, who looked sort of… _joyful_. "Can I ask you something?"

"You don't have to ask permission" Sebastian said, giving him a small smile.

"Right" Kurt felt slightly embarrassed. "But this might be a weird question, and I really don't know why I'm asking it-"

"Just ask, Kurt" Sebastian said, grabbing his hands playfully, before Kurt could cover his face with them.

"Okay" Kurt bit his lip. "So… what did you like about Blaine?"

Sebastian gave him an actual surprised look. _There_, Kurt thought. _First time I see you surprised_.

"It is a weird question" Sebastian admitted, scratching his chin. "Is there a catch?"

Kurt snorted, amused. "Not really. I was just… curious, I guess" Kurt said, and he hoped that was good enough, because he really didn't know where that question was coming from.

Sebastian looked away, thoughtfully. "I mean… besides the fact that he's hot, right?" he asked Kurt, and Kurt rolled his eyes at him.

"I was assuming you found him attractive, yes" Kurt said, containing a smile.

But Sebastian grinned cheekily and Kurt couldn't help but grinning briefly too. "The talent, then" Sebastian said, determined. "Talent is a huge turn-on for me."

Kurt smiled at Sebastian's straightforwardness, then considered it. "Yeah, he's really talented."

"I didn't pay much attention to anything else, really" Sebastian shrugged. "I just found him talented and hot."

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "But you- liked him, didn't you?" Kurt asked, confused.

Sebastian shrugged again, chuckling this time. "I had like _three_ coffees with the guy, Kurt. And I don't even remember what we talked about in any of them" Sebastian explained, smiling cheekily.

Kurt's jaw threatened to fall open with disbelief, but he regained himself fast enough. "Really? Wow" Kurt said, shocked. "I mean – he claimed you were a nice guy once he got to know you" Kurt shook his head, disappointedly. Blaine could be too innocent.

"Oh" Sebastian made, surprised again. "How nice of him" he joked, "but I don't think we got to know each other. Plus, I was kind of a jerk to him too" he admitted.

"Yeah, don't swear" Kurt said, remembering the slushie incident.

"I mean I really was a jerk to him – in general" Sebastian explained, and he even looked amused, "I made it very obvious that I was flirting with him, even though I knew you existed and all" he chuckled, "really, how is that being a nice guy?"

"You find it really amusing, don't you?" Kurt asked him, more surprised than upset. Sebastian had no problem claiming to be a cheap ass or a jerk, and it didn't cease to unsettle Kurt.

Sebastian bit Kurt's nose. "Don't be mad at me" he whispered, still grinning. "We're knowing each other now, remember?"

"Well at least I know you remember what I talk about" Kurt said sarcastically, but smiled back at him.

Sebastian nodded, cockily. "You can't complain, huh – I paid a lot more attention to you, gayface" he bit Kurt's nose again.

This time Kurt shivered. "Paid?" He casted Sebastian a confused look, noticing the past tense.

The boy nodded again. "Yep, you laughed at my teeth – that was not nice" Sebastian protested, pretending to be somewhat hurt. Kurt thought he had never seen Sebastian as playful as he was acting now.

Kurt contained a laughter. "Oh, did I hurt your feelings?" he asked, pretending to be concerned.

Sebastian rubbed his nose against Kurt's neck to make way for his mouth. He nibbled the spot. "You did, and I think you like my teeth now, don't you?" he asked, and continued nibbling Kurt's neck.

Kurt contained a moan, and nodded instead. "Yeah" he breathed out, and put his arms around Sebastian. "There's not an inch of you I'd mock now" he bluntly admitted, surprising himself.

Sebastian dug out his head from Kurt's neck and stared at him for a few seconds. "There's not?" he asked, seriously.

Kurt damned himself. _Could I be any cheesier?_ But it was too late to take it back. He smiled awkwardly at Sebastian, then bit his lip.

Sebastian smiled tentatively, then placed a kiss on Kurt's chest. "That's… sweet", he rested his chin there, and kept looking right at Kurt's eyes.

Kurt sighed. "That was cheesy. You can say it" he joked.

Sebastian chuckled. "Nah. Cheesy would be asking me what I like about you. So you're good" he joked.

_What I like about you_ echoed in Kurt's head. _I like_, present tense. Why he was surprised, he didn't know. It was obvious Sebastian had to like him. So why did his stomach feel so funny?

"And narcissistic" Kurt added, playing along.

They fell in a pleasant silence, during which Sebastian moved to lay beside him, instead of on top of him. The boy rescued his cell phone from his pocket.

"I think I should get going" Sebastian said, after a few minutes.

Kurt turned his head to look at him. "Why?" he asked, taken aback.

Sebastian showed him the hour. "It's late" he shrugged.

Kurt didn't know what to say. "Oh". Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him. "I just thought you'd sleep here" Kurt smiled nervously.

Sebastian folded his arm on the bed for balance. He scratched his head with the other hand, thoughtfully. "Do you want me to?" he asked, somewhat insecurely.

Kurt smiled at him with curiosity. "Yes?" he asked rhetorically, surprised. It wasn't the first time they slept together. What was that about?

Sebastian chuckled. "Don't look at me like that. It's _your_ lazy night, I thought you might wanna sleep alone" he explained, "you know? Maybe wait until I'm gone to gossip about me with Rachel – that sort of _cheesy_ things you like to do" he joked.

Kurt sat on the bed and punched his arm. Then he put the blanket aside, preparing himself to get up. "I'll give you something more comfortable to sleep with."

"Don't bother" Sebastian cut him "You know I sleep in my underwear" the boy simply said, starting to undress himself. Kurt couldn't help but observed him. Sebastian stopped. "Oh, you wanna do it?" he asked suggestively, approaching Kurt.

Kurt rolled his eyes. Then thought it better. "Yes" came out of his mouth, and before he could regret it, Kurt grabbed Sebastian's shirt and pull it off, gaining a smirk from the boy.

Then he opened Sebastian's jeans button and pulled down the zipper. Once he got there, he felt stuck. He raised his eyes to meet Sebastian's and saw the boy observing his hands, while biting his lip. Kurt blushed, but grabbed Sebastian's jeans and put them all the way down.

Then, without previous notice, Sebastian put his hands under Kurt's shirt and caressed the skin all the way up, dragging the shirt with the movement. It felt incredibly intimate. They locked eyes then. Without leaving Kurt's eyes, Sebastian pulled down his trousers.

They got under the covers, so silently that all they could hear were each other's unsteady breaths. Kurt felt weirdly compelled to kiss Sebastian's shoulder… so he leaned in and kissed the spot, his lips lingering there a few seconds. Then he rested his hand there, feeling the skin.

Suddenly, Sebastian sighed noticeably, and Kurt couldn't avoid getting a little tense, worried he might have done something wrong.

"You have a very intense way of looking at me, you know that?" Sebastian said while raising a hand to feel Kurt's cheek.

_No way_, Kurt thought. "It's you who has an intense stare" Kurt defended himself. "I just try to keep up" he joked.

"I assure you" Sebastian said confidently, his hand now reaching Kurt's neck, "I've never been looked like that. I'd remember" he whispered the last part, and they were observing each other's eyes so closely that Kurt felt both eager to melt with him and to hide.

"Neither have I" Kurt whispered too, hoping it sounded sincere.

Sebastian came closer and held him tight, feeling every inch of Kurt's neck with his mouth. Kurt could have not put into words how that hold felt even if he had wanted to. It wasn't the first time Sebastian was touching him and yet, somehow, that's how it felt.

"Kurt" Sebastian whispered, somewhat pliantly, "let me have you." He kept kissing Kurt with haste.

Kurt returned the hold and the kisses just as dedicatedly, and nodded unconsciously. "You can" he whispered, "why are you asking me?" Kurt smiled, looking at him.

Sebastian captured Kurt's lips with his own hastily, urgently, and it felt rushed, even. Suddenly Kurt realised it didn't feel like they were kissing and touching for the first time, but for the last one. He broke the kiss, worried. Something felt odd. "Now it's me who feels like this is the last I'm seeing of you. But it's not, is it?" he had to ask.

Sebastian's touch felt so eager that it was scaring him. _The thrill of the last time_, Sebastian had explained Kurt only last night, though it felt like a while ago.

Sebastian rested his forehead against Kurt's neck, breathing with difficulty. The boy froze, stopping his touch and his kisses. Kurt felt Sebastian's body going rigid over him. It no longer felt like he was covering Kurt.

"It's not" Sebastian said against Kurt's skin. But Kurt couldn't see his face, and somehow it didn't sound honest to him. He started feeling uneasy.

"I don't believe you" Kurt said, trying not to panic. "It's just- that you feel somewhat anxious, I don't know" Kurt struggled to explain, and brought his hands to Sebastian's back, caressing the place to calm him. Something told him he needed to calm Sebastian.

Sebastian said nothing, and continued hidden on Kurt's neck, rigid. Kurt didn't know what to do, other than to hold him and wait until the boy felt _better_.

A few minutes passed and Kurt kept stroking Sebastian's back and hair. He even kissed the top of Sebastian's head, reassuringly, although he was probably quite freaked out too. Sebastian was always so firm, so collected, that it was shocking to see him that… vulnerable. Like earlier that morning, when Kurt watched him sleep.

Slowly, Sebastian's weight started feeling more comfortable and lighter over Kurt. Sebastian's muscles got looser and his body temperature felt warmer again. Kurt kept holding him, though.

"You're feeling better?" Kurt asked eventually with a quiet tone. It wouldn't surprise him if Sebastian had fallen asleep.

Sebastian unburied his head from Kurt's chest gradually, until it was completely out and the boy was finally looking at him again. Kurt gave him a tentative smile.

"I don't know what happened to me" Sebastian said, after a few seconds. "I'm sorry, I-" the boy stopped, visibly stuck, and Kurt took the chance to interrupt him.

"Oh, don't apologise" Kurt assured him, "really… it's okay" he smiled again, awkwardly this time.

Sebastian snorted, slowly regaining himself. "No, it's not" he said, rubbing his eyes, and he sounded somewhat annoyed. "I was about to fuck you and leave, Kurt" he stated, staring right at Kurt now, with a dark, sad expression. "I really don't know what happened" he said again, more frustrated this time. "I got overwhelmed, somehow" the boy admitted, and Kurt could tell he was struggling with his words and emotions. "It was confusing."

Kurt felt overwhelmed too. He wished he could say 'I know what you mean' or something equally comforting. But he really didn't know what Sebastian meant. He just knew Sebastian looked like an emotional turmoil had just shaken him up fiercely. What kind of emotions, though, he couldn't say. And he doubted Sebastian could.

But Sebastian's words did not count for nothing. Nor did his actions. Kurt was feeling shaken up too.

"What was it?" Kurt couldn't help but asked him. Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him. "I mean, what was confusing?" he repeated, insecurely. "Did I- make you feel uncomfortable, somehow?" the words came out slowly, encouraged by his doubts.

"What-? No!" Sebastian assured him, looking surprised. He finally recovered himself enough to touch Kurt again. It was just his cheek, but it put everything at ease for Kurt. "Of course not, Kurt. I feel great with you" Sebastian stated, having his fierce honesty back. But maybe that was way too honest, because both Kurt and he widened his eyes a little at those words.

Kurt wanted to say something. To break the tension. Now. But his mind went blank and all he could manage was a nervous, awkward smile. Sebastian looked away, visibly uncomfortable, and Kurt realised he was just being stupid. The boy had just opened up to him and he was reacting like it was awkward. That was not right. So Kurt literally forced himself to behave better.

"I feel great with you too" Kurt whispered back, before he could change his mind. "And, you know what? Whenever I've got confused, you've been helpful and kind to me" Kurt continued, more confidently, "and I think I might know why it got confusing for you now" he said, his mind suddenly buzzing with a weird thought.

Sebastian casted him an intrigued look and smiled. "Why?" he asked.

Kurt bit his lip, gathering some courage. "Sometimes I get the feeling that- you might- not- be really used to receive…" he gulped, fearing he was going too far, "kindness."

Sebastian looked puzzled; amused, but puzzled. "Why would you think that?" he asked.

Kurt felt somewhat discouraged, but carried on anyway. "I've seen it" he simply said. Sebastian's smile fell, and he just looked attentively at Kurt now. "When I say you're not a cheap ass, or a jerk. When I defend you, mostly" Kurt chuckled, nervously. "You give me the same look you're giving me right now, of incredulity" he moved his hand slowly, needing to make contact with Sebastian again, "and I just figured… maybe if I behaved bitchier with you, like I used to" Kurt made a face, remembering their sharp exchanges with amusement, "then it might feel more normal for you. Less confusing. But I'm sweeter now" he added, joking, "what can I do?"

Sebastian simply observed him, thoughtfully. "You are" he said, after a few seconds. "You can pull it off, though… somehow" he joked, clearly eager to change the subject. Kurt couldn't blame him. Things had gotten incredibly personal all of a sudden.

They both chuckled quietly, too aware of everything. Sebastian was still on top of him, but now it didn't feel just natural, because he was not touching Kurt. And it felt awful, Kurt discovered, having Sebastian around him but being deprived of his touchiness.

"Hey" Kurt said, taking a hold on Sebastian's shoulder, "if I'd ask you to do something – could you just- do it? No questions asked?" Kurt asked him, hit by a desperate resolution.

Sebastian nodded. "Seems fair" he said, and Kurt rolled his eyes at him for what those words implied: that Sebastian had to make it up to him for his freaked-out moment.

"Kiss me a little?" Kurt asked him timidly, giving him a side smile. "Touch me – _innocently_" Kurt emphasised, seeing the smirk that had graced Sebastian's lips, "until we fall asleep? I'm kind of tired, aren't you?"

Sebastian gave him a knowing smile and rolled his eyes. "Okay – but don't get too used to this" he said playfully, liberating Kurt from his weight and lying beside him now, to cuddle him from behind. Sebastian started placing little kisses all over Kurt's neck and cheek, more sensually than Kurt had asked, but he wouldn't complain now. He had Sebastian _covering _him again and that was all that mattered.


	18. Chapter 18

As usual, thanks for reading/reviewing :) really, it helps a lot, and cheers me up too!

Now... this chapter might be some sort of interlude - but the story needed it. I hope you enjoy it, anyway!

P.s. I'm afraid I don't own glee.

* * *

"So… how you've been?" Kurt asked Blaine, once they were given a table at _their_ diner.

Kurt had been the one to ask Blaine out on a 'friendly' date. It'd been more than a month since their last meeting, in the same place. This time, though, the situation was way less tense, thankfully. And it wasn't like they hadn't seen each other since then. The gang still had their sacred Monday dinners.

But they hadn't really _talked _to each other. So, in a way, this was still awkward. Plus, Kurt intended to tell Blaine about Sebastian before the boy heard from someone else. Kurt figured since the bomb was out already, it was only a matter of time before Blaine heard about it.

"Good, I guess" Blaine replied, giving Kurt a small smile. "Can't wait to go back to Ohio, though. I'm really looking forward to spend the summer at home, you know? I've missed it" Blaine commented, while eyeing the menu.

Kurt observed him and ignored the menu. He was quite sure they both would order the same high-fat yummy pasta they always ordered. "I get it" he said, thinking about his dad. "I miss it too but… I've been thinking about it, and I might spend the summer here."

Blaine put down the menu and gave him a surprised look. "Really? What about your dad? And Carole?" he asked, and it was an understandable reply. Kurt feared his decision was selfish, but right now he just wasn't feeling it. There was not an inner part of him telling him to go back home. He needed to stay.

"I'm hoping they'll be understanding…" Kurt smiled awkwardly. "I really don't feel like going home right now. I applied for some summer internships on Vogue and other fashion magazines and… well, I'm just waiting for them to get back at me. I think that's what I need now" he explained Blaine, who smiled with dreamy eyes at him, making Kurt's stomach twirl. Kurt smiled back at him.

"I think that's great" Blaine encouraged him. "If that's what you need, then you should do just that" he told Kurt.

Kurt couldn't help but holding Blaine's hand, on the table. "I've missed talking to you, Blaine" Kurt let slip. After all, it was like meeting an old friend.

Blaine squeezed his hand back. "Me too."

/

"It was hilarious!" Kurt exclaimed, laughing hard. "I can see that now, though" he conceded. They were taking a path down memory lane and Rachel Berry's fugitive fling could not be overlooked.

"Oh, shut up!" Blaine shouted, covering his face. "It was just weird – I can see _that_ now!" he laughed. "Not that she was a bad kisser…" Blaine said jokingly. "Speaking of weird crushes, I ran into Sebastian the other day" Blaine said, all of a sudden.

Well, maybe not that _all of a sudden_, but Kurt froze anyway. All his muscles tensed up and he had to remember himself to keep breathing.

Kurt giggled, nervously. "Did you?" he asked rhetorically, wondering how or when that happened. And, above all, if Sebastian was kind enough not to say anything about them.

"I did. And he acted so strangely" Blaine made a face. "I don't know. I had never seen him that nervous" Blaine chuckled, taking a sip from his glass of wine.

Kurt bit his lip hard and felt his stomach making twirls again. Repeatedly. He even felt nauseous.

"Hey, are you okay?" Blaine asked him, visibly concerned. "You suddenly got all pale, Kurt" the boy continued, examining their plates of foods. "You think it was the food?" he asked, making a disgusted face. "I mean, it's not the most luxury place ever, but it never gave us food poisoning-"

"It's not the food" Kurt cut him, unable to bottle it up any longer. If he didn't tell Blaine right this moment, he wouldn't be able to keep it together anymore. "It's Sebastian" Kurt started. Blaine casted him a confused yet amused look. "Oh God" Kurt breathed out, trying hardly not to hyperventilate. He grabbed the table and took a deep breath. "We- kind of… have something- going on" it was the most accurate way to put it. What the hell did they exactly have? What were they? This was not the time to panic over those questions.

Blaine widened his eyes in shock. Two seconds later, it was now him the one who looked pale.

"Oh God" Kurt repeated, observing Blaine, who seemed to be frozen. The boy didn't even blink. His mouth was slightly open and his hand still held a glass of wine in the air. "Blaine?" Kurt asked, snapping his fingers discretely to put the boy out of the trance. He put the glass down, just in case.

Finally, Blaine breathed out loudly, like his body had suddenly remembered it needed oxygen. "What does that even mean?" he asked, looking at Kurt, full of confusion and something that looked incredibly similar to disdain.

Kurt gulped. "It means we… became friends like… two months ago. I mean, he kept visiting his grandma at Lexington and I- I don't even know how it happened, but… I just wanted you to hear it from me. It's nothing serious, though" Kurt rushed to add. That was all Blaine needed to know. And, judging by his reaction, it was enough.

"Nothing serious?" Blaine asked rhetorically, then covered his eyes with his hand and rubbed 'em. "Oh my God, Kurt…" his tone was full of reluctance, "why? How could you fall for that?" he asked then, directly, staring right at him.

This was, by far, the most judging reaction Kurt had been given till date. Maybe it was only fair that it was Blaine's. But that didn't mean it didn't hurt.

"Excuse me?" Kurt asked, unable to hide his hurt. "Fall for what, exactly?"

Blaine didn't even acknowledge his question. "I mean, I get that you probably got lonely. So did I. But Sebastian? Really? It's not even about how there's history there, and how he hurt both of us, but about the fact that you took the easy, cheap way to get over us, and it's not right, Kurt" Blaine said harshly. "What were you even thinking?"

Kurt went mute. He was busy trying to process all those hurtful words. A tear fell over his cheek, making him feel wet and hopeless. _Goddammit, not now_. He took a deep breath and forced himself to stare right at Blaine.

"You don't know him. Nothing about him, or about what we have, is easy, or cheap. You shouldn't judge what you don't know, Blaine. It's cruel" he ranted, somewhat frantically.

"Cruel?" Blaine asked, sarcastically. "How come you're the victim here? Don't make me state the obvious, for Christ's sake. I was merely talking about the path you're taking to get over us – don't even get me started on the means" he said, rolling his eyes.

Kurt shook his head with disbelief. Every word he heard it was incredibly more hurtful than the word before. How longer could he take it?

"I know this must be hurtful for you" Kurt admitted, being this the only department where he'd give in. "And I'm sorry for that. But I'm here, telling you this, and I'm not dismissing my responsibilities" he stated out loud fiercely, clenching his fists. "I didn't get with him to get over you. It just happened. And that's all I have to say to you." He stood up, gathering his things and leaving some bills on the table.

Blaine observed him perplexed for a few seconds, then stood up too and went after him.

Kurt exited the diner but couldn't take any step further without confronting Blaine again.

"I can't do this right now, Blaine" Kurt said, his cheek wet again. He really needed to get out of there as soon as possible.

"Kurt!" Blaine grabbed his arm, forcing Kurt to look at him. "I didn't mean to hurt you, I really didn't, but I feel hurt too!" he added, honestly.

Kurt rubbed his eyes, trying to contain his tears. He sighed. "I just told you that I'm sorry for that. There's nothing else I can do" Kurt explained, desperately.

Blaine let go of his arm then, looking away with a sad expression. "You keep saying that. You're just sorry for me, but not for what you're doing" he said slowly, reaching that conclusion simultaneously.

Kurt trembled. That seemed uncomplicated to him. But judging by how Blaine had talked about 'the means', it sure had to be complicated for him.

"Blaine… you used to claim he was a good guy deep down inside. I've gotten to know him better – and you were right." Okay, so maybe that was not the best idea: using Blaine's words against him. But Kurt was also appealing to Blaine's good, fair judgement. If he once thought that way, he should be able to do it again.

Blaine frowned, visibly upset. "That was before the slushie incident. Don't play like that, Kurt."

Kurt sighed. "Okay. But that doesn't make it any less true. I believe he's a nice guy, and I forgave him for what he did to us" he stated.

Blaine looked shocked again. "Do you actually like him?" he asked, making a disapproving face.

"That was unnecessary" Kurt whispered, hurt by the look Blaine was giving him. "And yes. That's what I'm trying to say. I do" Kurt said, but he had no more energy left on him to keep arguing and sticking to what he felt. So he ended up looking at his feet, hiding from Blaine's judging eyes.

"Wow" Blaine gasped, with irony.

Kurt eyed him, full of hurt. He turned around and left.

/

Kurt would like to say that the encounter with Blaine did not affect the way he felt about Sebastian. And it didn't. But it surely undermined the way he felt about himself, therefore undermining all his emotions.

As soon as he left the diner, and Blaine, he started feeling all the heartbreak he'd been unable to feel since they broke up. Suddenly he realised things had been going way too well and he'd been way too naïve. He had fallen for the illusion that he, Kurt Hummel, could for once feel good about himself. And yes, those were negative, ridicule thoughts. But his brain seemed unable to stop producing them.

"Get this, lady – if you don't show up today, Gunther will fire you" Santana shouted at him one morning, while Kurt laid on his bed hidden under the covers. "And for God's sake, Hummel – it's summer already, throw that duvet away!" the girl screamed, exasperated.

Kurt made a grumpy noise and snuggled up further. "I don't care" he breathed out, and turned around to carry on sleeping.

Then he felt incredibly cold as two hands pull the duvet away. "I'm taking this with me where you can never find it again" Santana informed him, and she left his room.

Kurt felt annoyed, but he was too tired to even complain, not to speak about getting up and stopping Santana from throwing his wonderful duvet away. He simply got under the sheets.

"Unbelievable" the girl said, sighing. Then she approached the bed again and this time she took Kurt's creepy pillow with her. "You don't even deserve Bruce anymore."

That made Kurt react. "Oh, don't you dare taking Bruce away from me. He's all I have left" Kurt mumbled, getting up and willing to fight Santana.

"What about slutty Smythe?" she asked, maliciously, and threw 'Bruce' into the living room. Kurt eyed her with resentment and went after his pillow.

"Look, you're up now" she said, faking to be surprised. "See, now you just have to shower and go make sure you don't lose the job I got you" she added, harshly.

"I hate that job" Kurt argued, tiredly, "I couldn't care less about that job" he bit back, while taking back his pillow.

"Oh, excuse me, Mr. I'm-too-good-for-that-shit – it's way much cooler to keep asking your dad for money – I forgot" Santana told him, and the girl looked like she was about to lose her patience.

Kurt looked at her for a brief moment. Then at 'Bruce'. Then he decided to pick it up and throw it at her. Then he got into the bathroom.

/

"_What about slutty Smythe?"_

Kurt had been ignoring him – that was what. It wasn't that he didn't want to see Sebastian, it was that he didn't want to see anybody, mostly. But, of course, it also had to be with the fact that people seemed to have assumed that the only reason he was 'seeing' Sebastian was because it was an 'easy, cheap' way to get over Blaine.

That was not how Kurt felt, not really. But he had started to doubt his feelings, and that was not good. He feared everything had happened a little too soon and a little too fast. Not that Sebastian and he were officially a 'thing'. But it felt fast anyway.

Later that afternoon, when he got home from the diner, Kurt found an unusually cheery Rachel working out in the living room. Unusually, because ever since her Funny-Girl-screwed-up, she had been flying low. But now she was singing and dancing to the TV, doing a very complicated routine.

Kurt sat down on the couch and observed her, tiredly. "Where did you get all that energy from?"

Rachel smiled brightly at him. "You went to work today!" she exclaimed, taking in Kurt's outfit. "Good for you" she gasped, trying to keep up with her exercises.

Kurt 'mmh' her, then laid down. Rachel pressed 'pause' on her video. "No, hey, no, Kurt – you've made such an effort! Don't lay down again!" she grabbed Kurt's arms and got a very reluctant Kurt up. "Come on, let's have dinner and talk about it" she encouraged him.

Kurt made a face. "Talk about it? Oh no, dear. I'm not in the mood" he said, going into his room.

"But you're never in the mood!" Rachel protested, following him. "Really, how can I help you get back to your awesomeness If you don't even talk to me!" she pouted.

Kurt changed into his PJs, ignoring her. "There's no point in talking about it. None of you support what I've done, anyway, so…" he mumbled.

"Hey, that's not fair" Rachel said, folding her arms in front of him. "I encouraged you to call Sebastian that night. And I made no commentaries, nor did I complain when you had him over last week. I'd say that looks a lot like support" she protested, more seriously now.

"Oh, come on, Rachel. You've been biting your tongue and I appreciated it. But I don't care anymore, so you can't give it a rest" he said bitterly, walking right by her.

Rachel followed him to the kitchen, raging. "Excuse me?!" she screamed. "Kurt, do you honestly think I'd bite my tongue and let you do something I consider dangerous or stupid? If you think that, you're delusional" she said, gesturing dramatically.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at her, somewhat surprised. "You didn't think what I was doing was stupid?" he asked her, staring right at her to study her expressions. He'd know if Rachel was lying to him.

"Why, Kurt? Why would I think that? You looked… happy" she explained, struggling with her choice of words.

Kurt's defences fell off. He sat on a stall. "I did feel somewhat happy, although it was brief" he admitted, sighing.

Rachel approached him and rested a hand on his shoulder. "You know what we should do?" she asked him, with exciting eyes.

Kurt eyed her suspiciously. "Don't say 'girls night out', please" he begged her.

"No, silly" she giggled. "It's Wednesday" she argued, and Kurt 'oh' her – he really needed to wake up from his funky state. "We should do Margaritas, right?" she suggested, like it was the most obvious thing to do right now.

Kurt rolled his eyes at her but got up and gathered the ingredients. He could use a drink.

/

Three Margaritas later…

"… and I didn't plan on it, I swear to God! You know how much I used to disdain Sebastian, don't you?" Kurt asked her, needing some confirmation and reassurance. "I mean, come on! Do people think that was easy? Let me tell you: I have no idea how it happened, but it wasn't easy. I struggled. I still struggle. Being around Sebastian, Rach… is a constant struggle" he confessed, grabbing Rachel's hand tightly and staring at her. A deep, tired sigh followed that. Kurt felt exhausted.

"Why? What do you struggle about?" Rachel asked, giving him the look she used to give the TV when she was seriously hooked up on a TV show.

"Oh, everything" Kurt sighed again, taking a long sip from his cup. "First it was how much he annoyed me, you know? He's always messing with me, trying to irritate me… and it reminded me of his old self. But then… I kind of started to like it" he made a cheeky, amused face. "Oh, I started liking our verbal fights a little too much, Rach – because there's a very thin line between harshness and flirting, I'm telling you!" he said animatedly. Oh, and he haven't felt this animated in a while. "And he said some smart stuff. Really – some very smart stuff. And it got me thinking: 'hey, maybe I didn't know him that well'. I thought I did, I was determined to judge him forever for what he did to us on high school… and the minute I stopped judging him, he became a real person in front of my eyes" _Ups, I'm drinking too much_, Kurt thought, hearing himself. "God-… -dammit, and that's the other reason I'm struggling. My damn, annoying, irritating cheesiness. I'm so emotional" he lamented, laying down on the couch.

Rachel grabbed hers and Kurt's cup and got up. "I'm doing another round" she informed him.

"Oh my God, Rachel, don't! I've drunk enough!" Kurt giggled.

"Listen to me, Kurt Hummel! This" she pointed to the big, pink jar were she was fixing the drinks, "_this_ is why you're talking to me. Communicating with me. And you've been so incommunicative lately! You didn't even give me, or anyone, the chance to listen to you!"

"Oh, Rach, how could I? If I was so fast to judge Sebastian, how could you not? It was pointless" Kurt simply said, trying to sit himself straight. Laying down had not been a good idea – his belly was complaining now.

"Well, as you can see now – it is not" she said proudly. "I've been perfectly able to understand you, haven't I? And you know who's giving you the hardest time with this whole thing, right?" she asked him.

Kurt shrugged. "Blaine?" he asked, tentatively.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Okay, he wasn't exactly understanding when you told him – but you can't blame him" she stated, pointing an accusing spoon to him. "I was gonna say 'you'. No one is judging you more than yourself. Not even Blaine."

"Oh, I was perfectly okay until I filled all of you in – big mistake, by the way" he snorted.

"No, you weren't" she pointed out. "You even told me you were screwed, Kurt – come on" she said, going back to the couch with two full cups.

"At least I didn't doubt the authenticity of what I was feeling" Kurt breathed out, after taking a sip. "Now, I don't even know" he admitted.

"That's bullshit" Rachel said, straightforward. Kurt looked at her at awe.

"Rachel Barbra Berry, did you just course?" he asked, amused.

"I did – big deal" she said giggling.

Suddenly they heard a crack on the door and Santana peeked her head into the apartment. She locked eyes with them and made a face. "Dear Lord, don't you ever leave the apartment?" she asked, rolling her eyes.

Kurt and Rachel looked at each other and started laughing stupidly.

Santana entered the apartment, followed by a visibly drunk Brittany. "Hey, guys!" she said, cheerily.

"Brittany!" both Rachel and Kurt screamed, brightly. "Come sit with us!"

"I can't. Santana says if I sit down, I'll fall asleep and someone will try to steal me" the blond girl commented with a sad tone. Kurt and Rachel shared a confused look, but shrugged.

"Come on, Brit, let's get you a yummy glass of water" Santana said, dragging her to the kitchen table.

"Oh, I want some of what's inside this yummy jar" Brittany said, her face almost entirely inside the pink jar.

"What's that?" Santana asked, eyeing her roommates suspiciously. "Is that… are you guys drinking?" she asked, shocked. "Without me?" she added then, angrily.

Kurt and Rachel gulped down, somewhat scared. A pissed off Santana was a lot to deal with. "We did some… Margaritas" Rachel added, tentatively.

"You guys did Mexican drinks without Santana? That's kind of racist" Brittany said, telling them off.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Don't be so dramatic, Santana. Just pour yourself a cup and join us" he said, animatedly.

"Yeah, and we could play 'spin the bottle'!" Brittany suggested, capturing Santana waist with her hands.

"Oh, Brit – we don't have to play that to kiss each other" Santana told her, giving her girlfriend a sweet peck on the lips.

"Booooo, we're not in the mood for love tonight!" Rachel told them, throwing them a pillow.

"No – _you _have decided you're not in the mood for love anymore, Berry" Santana bit back somewhat harshly. But Rachel took a sip and let it be. Kurt looked at her surprised. That had been kind of mean.

"Santana – not now" he said, making a face. "Let's have some liquid fun tonight!" he added excitedly, suddenly feeling in the mood for a little home party.

"Fine, ladies" Santana sighed, amused. "But help me keep an eye on Brittany. Don't let her drink anything else" she said, grabbing her girlfriend's arm to stop her from falling down.

/

One hour and a half later, Brittany was placidly sleeping in the couch, while the other three had decided to make their own karaoke-Margaritas party.

"_Crap_" Rachel shouted from the kitchen. "We're running out of Tequila!" she cried.

"No!" Kurt cried along, dramatically. "That's so not cool" he pouted to Santana.

"What do you expect me to do, Hummel?" she winced at him. "I'm not your girlfriend, God help me" she joked.

Kurt slapped her arm. "I expect you to work your _Snixxy _magic and make some Tequila magically appear" he bubbled, clumsily.

Santana laughed anyway. "Okay, okay – let me see what I can do…" she said, taking out her cell phone, then she eyed Rachel for a second. "Huh" she made, distractedly. "Two birds with one stone…" she whispered.

"Mmh?" Kurt made, not following her.

Santana grinned at him, pleased with herself. "I'm gonna call Sam – I'll tell him to come by and bring some more _liquid magic fun_" she said out loud, getting up distractedly but eyeing Rachel.

Rachel made eye contact with her momentarily but nervously looked away, making herself busy with some plates in the kitchen.

"What was that about?" Kurt asked Santana, narrowing his eyes at her.

"I know what I'm doing, Hummel" she grinned maliciously. "Let's help Berry out" she whispered.

Kurt casted her a confused face and followed her to her bedroom. "This is Sam Evans we're talking about," Kurt said, perplexed "is it not?"

Santana nodded, and started typing on her cell phone. "That's right. Those two have had some tension going on for quite a while, actually" she told him.

"Oh, dear" Kurt sighed, desperate. Santana raised an eyebrow at him. "You've definitely lost your mind. I knew the day was coming, but _oh_, you're still so young!" he joked.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't tell me you haven't seen it, Kurt" she protested.

Kurt made a doubting face. "I gue- Gee, I don't know!" he sighed, sitting down on the bed. "I mean, he was dating Mercedes until, what? Last week?" he said, feeling bad for his friend. Had Santana conveniently forgotten Mercedes?

"Okay – you know I respect Mercedes. But I don't see that going anywhere, to be honest. Besides, all I'm doing here is… creating some opportunities, that's all" she said casually, getting up. "Something both Berry and Sam are too scared to do. But I've seen how they look at each other, come on! You can't fool auntie Snixx" the girl said, exiting the room.

"So, Sam is coming over" she announced to Rachel, who was now sitting on the couch and fixing Brittany's hair, who had just woken up again.

Rachel nodded, way too neutrally to be true. Kurt narrowed his eyes at her, realising now, for the first time, that every time someone talked about Sam, the girl put on her 'poker face'.

"Now" Santana said, pleased with Rachel's reaction, "where were we?" she asked rhetorically, scratching her chin. "Oh, yes" she eyed Kurt now. Kurt gulped. _Dammit_, of course it was his turn now. He should have seen this one coming. "Where's slutty Smythe tonight?" the girl asked.

"Who's that?" Brittany asked, confused.

"Sebastian Warbler Smythe, Brit – you need to catch up" Santana told her, patting her back. "Kurt's new beau" she added.

"Oh, I think he's hot" Brittany told him sweetly. The three of them looked at her surprised. "Good choice, Kurt" Brit congratulated him, and Kurt simply chuckled, feeling a little warmer again. This was the first time someone had reacted nicely to the news.

"Thank you, Brittany" he said brightly.

"Yeah, don't be so happy" Santana cut him, "where is he tonight?" she asked again.

Kurt eyed her, upset. "Why do you care?" he asked back, somewhat harshly.

Rachel squeezed his knee. "Relax, Kurt" the petite girl said, trying to break the tension.

"Listen to Berry, Kurt. I'm just asking you a question. Don't be rude" Santana winked, irritating him further more.

Kurt sighed. "I don't know where he is. Why would I?" he asked, rhetorically. "You know we're not dating" he said, annoyed.

"Why not? Does he gel his hair too? Do they force people in Dalton to gel their hair?" Brittany asked him, her eyes big as the moon.

Kurt contained a laughter. "No, Brittany. They don't" he told her. "We're simply not dating because… because" he said, feeling sort of dumb.

Santana smiled maliciously, getting under his skin. "Okay, stop looking at me like that, Santana. Why don't you just ask me what you want to know and then give me a break?" Kurt ranted, tiredly.

"Fine" the girl said, dropping her cup on the table. "What are you doing, Kurt?" she bluntly asked. Kurt raised an eyebrow at her.

"What do you mean 'what are you doing'?" he asked, confused.

"It's too soon" she explained, exasperated. "And it'd be totally okay if it was just about the sex, because it's never too soon for that, but we all know it's not about that. You like him, and you still have feelings for Blaine. You're falling for Sebastian, and this is not the kind of guy you're used to handle. Not even closely" she ranted.

Kurt widened his eyes a little, taken aback by the honesty of those words. Before the girl started talking, he was quite sure Santana wouldn't say anything remotely logical, but he had guessed wrong. She had spoken up Kurt's mind, somehow.

"I'm just saying… keep some perspective" she added, gentler this time. She grabbed her cup again, which Kurt took as a sign that she had ended her rant.

"Oh… you're finished?" Kurt asked her, perplexed.

Santana narrowed her eyes at him. "Why?"

Kurt contained a bitter smile. "Wait, no 'Sebastian is cheap' or 'you're being a slut too'?" Kurt suggested, astonished. "Plus, how do you know what kind of guy is Sebastian?" he further asked.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Don't give me the 'you don't know him' crap. Hey, I'm not judging him for being a slut. I'm just stating it" she said, placing a hand on her heart, like she was the most honest person in the world. "What? I can be a slut too. I own the word, actually" she said amused. "It's just a word people use to name the things they're too scared to do" the girl said proudly.

Kurt smiled this time, genuinely – finally remembering why he was friends with Santana in the first place.

"And I honestly think you could use some of that. You're too limited by all the cheesy bullshit the hobbit has been feeding you during the last three years" Santana said harshly. "But you have to be careful if you're into him. Sebastian might not get what that cheesy bullshit is about."

"You really think I'm into him?" Kurt asked her expectantly, more interested about that particular aspect than any other thing in her accurate speech.

Santana frowned. "Yes?" she asked, rhetorically.

"But you think I still have some feelings for Blaine" Kurt continued, indirectly asking again.

Santana sighed. "Why do you need me to repeat this?" she asked now, slightly irritated.

"Well, because I'm not so sure about that. I mean – I was. I was really convinced I liked Sebastian. I think I like Sebastian. But then I had dinner with Blaine, and he… undermined everything I feel. And now I'm doubting everything" Kurt explained, frustrated, finishing what had to be his sixth cup.

"How did you feel about Blaine, when you met him the other night?" Rachel asked Kurt.

Kurt turned around to face her, taken aback. "Oh – I hadn't really thought about that" he said honestly, scratching his neck.

"Well. Then I guess what you feel about him can't be too strong anymore" Santana snorted.

Kurt sighed, relieved. That had to be right. All he could think of was whether he had genuine feelings for Sebastian or not. Lately, he hadn't thought about Blaine like that. At all.

Suddenly the door slammed open and Sam appeared, carrying two brown bags. Brittany got up excitedly.

"Sam Evans!" she greeted him, going for a hug.

/

Two hours later, the apartment was strangely crowded. Kurt knew most of the people, but how they had ended up there, he had no clue. He suspected it was Santana's doing. His Margaritas night with Rachel had suddenly become a party. And he was having a great time dancing in his living room.

He was about to take a selfie with a friend from the diner when he realised he didn't have his cell phone with him. He found it on his bed, and as soon as he saw it, he remembered a text message from Sebastian he had ignored two days ago.

It had been just one text. But he had not heard from Sebastian since then. Now that his mind was sort of clearer, Kurt decided that he had to make things right. What if Sebastian thought that Kurt had lost interest? _No, Sir, we can't have that_, Kurt thought, animatedly. Then he impulsively phoned the other boy. Not even checking the hour.

"Kurt?" Kurt heard from the other extreme of the line. Sebastian's voice sounded kind of… sleepy?

"Hey, Bastian!" Kurt greeted him animatedly. "Did I wake you up?" he asked, but as soon as he exited his room, the noise was too loud to hear anything. "Oh, wait- I can't here you! Wait, I'll go outside" he told Sebastian, "hang on!" Kurt insisted.

He reached the fire escape and sat out there, closing the window behind him. It felt amazing, breathing fresh air.

"Hey" he repeated, after taking a few deep breaths.

"Hey" Sebastian repeated, chuckling.

"God – that was so loud" Kurt said, sighing. "So – were you sleeping?" Kurt asked, a little more conscious this time. Thankfully, his alcohol level on blood had diminished with all the fries he had eaten.

"Well, it's five in the morning, and I have class tomorrow, so… yeah" Sebastian said, amused. But he didn't sound upset, Kurt noted grateful.

"Ups" Kurt made, regretful "sorry for that" he apologised. "We've been drinking for hours. I lost track of time" he confessed, slowly feeling more aware of everything.

"Lucky you" Sebastian told him. "I have a test tomorrow."

"Oh, crap" Kurt breathed out, alarmed. "Oh, I'm sorry, Sebastian. You shouldn't have picked up! I'll let you sleep" he ranted, awkwardly.

"Hey, it's okay" the boy said, chuckling lazily. He sounded sleepy indeed. "It's at midday – don't worry" he assured Kurt.

Kurt smiled, relieved. "Oh, thank God" he said, "or Gaga" he added, shaking his head. "Anyway, this won't take long, I promise" he rushed to say. _Better make it quick_. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry I didn't reply to your text the other day, Bas" he said, honestly.

"Kurt, that could wait, don't you think?" Sebastian snorted, amused.

Kurt chuckled too. "No, listen. I was a mess that day and I've continued to be a mess until four hours ago, approximately" he explained, nervously.

"O-kay" Sebastian said, slowly.

"Yeah… and _why_ I was a mess can wait. That'd take long" Kurt added. "So I just- I was gonna invite you to come over, to make it up to you, but… it'll have to wait, right?" he said, chuckling.

"I fear so" Sebastian replied, with a calm, gentle tone. "But I appreciate it" he assured Kurt, and he sounded like he was smiling – this was the kind of thing Kurt could proudly tell.

"Okay, then" Kurt said, forcing his mouth to stop smiling so he could use it to speak instead. "Good luck tomorrow, Bas. And again, I'm sorry I woke you. I just… missed you in here, you know?" he said, all of a sudden. _Damn alcohol_.

Sebastian's breathing sounded warm. "You're sweet, Kurt" Sebastian said, smiling. Or not, but he sounded nice, so whatever. Kurt smiled too. "You're having fun, then?" the boy asked.

"Yeah" Kurt replied, cheerily. "Just… Margaritas and friends" he giggled. "A good combination."

"Mmh" Sebastian made, with that silken voice of his. "Didn't know you could prepare those things."

"Oh – I am _great _at making those things" Kurt lied, just to play along. "You definitely have to try 'em."

"Sounds like a plan" Sebastian said warmly. God, his sleepy tone was the most addictive sound Kurt had ever heard. More than his suggestive tone, and that was saying something.

"Definitely" Kurt replied brightly.

They fell in a comfortable silence, and Kurt took the chance to observe the beautiful surroundings.

"It's dawning" Kurt commented, casually. "And the sky is spectacular, by the way" he smiled, "but I should let you sleep."

"Nah" Sebastian said, yawning. "I was gonna get up in an hour, to go over my notes and stuff, so… don't worry" the boy breathed out.

"Oh, you're sure?" Kurt asked, insecurely. "I mean… it's a whole hour" he said, feeling bad for waking Sebastian up.

"Yeah – plus, it's nicer waking up like this" Sebastian added kindly. "So – you could keep talking to me, and make the whole waking-up process… smoother."

Kurt needed two seconds to process that. "O-kay" he said slowly, feeling suddenly very self-aware. "It's stupid, but I don't know what to talk about now" he chuckled, nervously. Giving Sebastian a smooth awakening was a huge responsibility.

Sebastian's breath felt so warm even through the telephone… "You were saying something about a spectacular dawning?"

"Oh" Kurt made, observing the sky again. "It is" he said, cheerily. He made the mental resolution to make his voice sound as pleasant as possible, so he took a deep breath. "I'm sitting in the fire escape, and the views are… incredible, Bas" Kurt started. "You know my neighbourhood sucks, but you can see some skyscrapers in the distance. The city, waking up. Or going to sleep" Kurt chuckled. "A matter of perspective... And the streets are frozen-like. Calmer. It looks so peaceful with this lightning that it doesn't even look like New York" Kurt joked.

"Mmh" Sebastian made, pleasantly. "I'd like to see that" he whispered, "from your fire escape."

"Sounds like a plan" Kurt giggled, feeling kind of silly for repeating Sebastian's words, but also brave. He wanted to make plans with Sebastian. As many as possible.

"Yeah" Sebastian chuckled, after a few seconds – during which Kurt's heart stopped, needless to say. "What else? Tell me why you're there" Sebastian suggested, calmly.

"I guess it's- my favourite spot in the apartment" Kurt said, while he simultaneously pondered it. "It's a good place to relax, and think" he offered. "To be alone. But in a nice way- because you're not actually alone – you know what I mean?"

"I'm not sure, babe" Sebastian said, and that velvet _babe_ sounded just like heaven to Kurt.

"Well, if I turn my head to the left, then I can see Santana dancing in the living room" Kurt chuckled affectionately, observing her. "And if I turn it to the right, or look straight forward, then it looks like I'm sitting here on my own, and there's no one else, so… it's a good balance" Kurt explained.

Kurt heard Sebastian's warm breath again, smiling. "Keep talking" Sebastian said.

Kurt gulped. He couldn't help but feeling awkward – talking nonsense like his fire escape. "Really?" Kurt asked, somewhat unsure.

"Yeah" Sebastian said, sounding slightly more awake. "I like it" he added, encouragingly.

_Say no more_, Kurt thought, smiling. "Sometimes I come here to read, or draw. It gives you the illusion that you could be somewhere else – and that helps, somehow."

"I didn't know you drew" Sebastian said, making Kurt startle. He hadn't even noticed he had said that. _Crap_. Thankfully, Sebastian didn't make a big deal of it. "Though I can totally picture you" the boy added.

"Oh, it's not exactly drawings, I mean… it's sketching. Fashion sketching, mostly" he admitted, awkwardly. "… And you can laugh at me now" Kurt chuckled nervously, feeling weirdly timid. He remembered very vividly Sebastian's comments about his clothing' choices.

"Why would I?" Sebastian asked, amused. "To you I'm only nice, gayface. I promise" he added then, like it was the most natural thing to say.

Kurt's whole body felt instantly warmer. "I like that" Kurt let slip. "I mean – not that I don't like you when you're harsh, because I do-" Kurt explained clumsily.

"You like me when I'm harsh?" Sebastian asked, somewhat perplexed, though his morning, sleepy-self state made him sound less shocked.

Kurt run a hand through his hair, nervously. "I do" he confessed. "I've learnt to… appreciate it" he said, then hid his face in his hands, terribly embarrassed. "… and tell me you're awake enough now, please – so I can just shut up" Kurt said, chuckling nervously.

"I won't prolong your suffering" Sebastian joked, pleased with the situation. "Though I was quite enjoying it…" the boy added, lowering his voice.

"Of course you were, idiot" Kurt said playfully.

"Don't be like that, babe" Sebastian argued, with a sultry, provocative tone. "I meant I was enjoying hearing you talk."

"Okay – that's your 'hello I'm awake enough to devour you' voice, so I'd say my work here is done" Kurt joked, chuckling.

"You got me" Sebastian snorted, amused. "Any chance you might be up for working for that voice too?" he teased.

Kurt blushed. "Sebastian!" he protested, feeling aroused. "I'm gonna go to sleep now, bye" Kurt said frantically.

"We'll have to work on your dirty talking eventually" Sebastian joked, "stop fighting it" he chuckled.

"I'm hanging up on you now…" Kurt warned him.

Sebastian sighed. "My blushing gayface… Okay. Thank you for that, anyway" he smiled, warmly. "Have a blast."

"Oh- you're- you're welcome" Kurt replied while digesting that _my_. "Good luck later."

"Thanks" Sebastian added, his tone calmer again. "See you, Kurt" he added, before hanging up.

/

Kurt took a few minutes for himself before going back into his living room. He felt like all the pain and hurt from the last days was finally healing, replaced by Sebastian's warmth.

Eventually, he came back, and found a much less crowded living room – thankfully, because he was starting to feel tired. Sam was still there, though, and he had one arm around Rachel, whose head rested on the boy's chest. They were both asleep, half way laying on the couch. Kurt observed them for a moment, remembering Santana's words. It certainly looked like they both felt comfortable around each other. He grabbed a blanket and covered them.

Then Kurt politely kicked out some random guys he didn't even know from the kitchen and got into his room. Thankfully, it remained immaculate.


	19. Chapter 19

A big thank you to all of you who read or review ^^ I'm really glad you're enjoying this :) I know I am - I particularly enjoyed writing this chapter, and I am currently enjoying writing the next one.

P.s. I don't own Glee!

P.s.2: I didn't have time to go over the spelling/grammatical mistakes. Sorry u.u

* * *

Friday found Kurt still trying to overcome last Wednesday' hangover. Thursday had got him feeling so physically painful that when Friday came along and he was still alive, he felt incredibly grateful.

It'd been an emotionally intense week, but Kurt had never felt so victorious. Victorious, because he had found the guts to be open and honest with Blaine. Victorious, because Isabelle Wright had phoned him with some great news: there was a vacancy at Vogue, and she would love to have him back for the summer. Victorious, because he had phoned his dad to fill him in the Vogue news and Burt had reacted quite understanding – they'd schedule some visits on the weekends along the summer. But victorious, above all, because he had received two texts from Sebastian:

**From Sebastian S. (4:08 p.m.): You're officially cool enough to be invited to my party tonight. +1 top**

**From Sebastian S. (4:11 p.m.): Relax, that was the standard text I sent everyone. You get to have a +2 ;)**

Kurt read the texts and laughed. He didn't know when he had begun to find Sebastian's silliness funny, but now it made him smile every time.

**To Sebastian S. (4:20 p.m.): I'll be lucky enough if I can find a single person who's up for that… :P**

**From Sebastian S. (4:22 p.m.): :(**

**From Sebastian S. (4:22 p.m.): Idiot**

**To Sebastian S. (4:24 p.m.): I was kidding meerkat! But now that I'm thinking it over… it actually might be hard to find someone :S**

**From Sebastian S. (4:25 p.m.): *SIGH repeatedly* Give me Berry's number**

_Oh, there's no need for that_, Kurt thought nervously.

**To Sebastian S. (4:26 p.m.): Kidding again. I'll be there dummy :) **

**From Sebastian S. (4:27 p.m.): I'm not. You need a +2 so Berry can get a safe lift home, gayface. I wouldn't trust my friends… **

**To Sebastian S. (4:29 p.m.): Oh, 'cause I'm a lady and I can't protect her from bad men – right. Very funny ¬¬ we'll get home just fine by ourselves, asshole**

**From Sebastian S. (4:31 p.m.): No, because you're sleeping over and she isn't, jerk**

"Oh" Kurt made somewhat loudly, gaining a confused look from Rachel, who was cooking in the kitchen. "Party at Sebastian's tonight… you're invited" Kurt said while casting her an awkward smile.

**To Sebastian S. (4:33 p.m.): Well, look at that, I'm the dummy after all… Okay, I'll bring a +2. Time?**

"What?" Rachel asked reluctantly. _Yep, that's gonna take some convincing… _Kurt thought.

**From Sebastian S. (4:35 p.m.): Don't worry, miss: I like them dummy ;) Around 8 would be nice. Wear the black, tight jeans.**

Kurt giggled quietly. Rachel looked at him again.

"Yeah – um, Sebastian's throwing a party… and he'd like you to come" Kurt smiled again, even more awkwardly than before. Rachel snorted. "Oh, come on! We'll bring someone else, okay?" Kurt stood up and approached the kitchen table. "Please?" he pouted.

"Why? If we bring someone else just so I can be entertained, then why do I have to go in the first place?" she asked, more upset than confused.

Kurt contained a laughter. Yeah – Rachel might need an official invitation.

"Oh, no, no, no – that was just an idea. We should bring some more people, you know? It'll be fun: Manhattan" he made a dramatic gesture with his hands, to create the mood, "we should take advantage of that" he lied. "Look, he asked me for your phone number" Kurt searched that one text and showed it to her. "The 'sighs' are directed to me, ignore that" he added, realising that's how the text started. _Ups_.

Rachel narrowed her eyes at him. "Kurt, who would want to go to Sebastian's party?" she asked, honestly. And she had a point.

Kurt scratched his head. "Someone who… doesn't know him?" he chuckled.

**From Sebastian S. (4:39 p.m.): I'm serious. I won't let you in unless you're wearing those ;)**

Kurt giggled again.

"Oh, God - if that's what awaits me tonight..." she said, rolling her eyes at Kurt's stupidly cheery expression. "I'm not going" she said and went to her bedroom, raging.

**To Sebastian S. (4:41 p.m.): Copy that. You might have to formally invite Rachel after all… **

/

"I still don't know why I agreed to this" Rachel whispered with a harsh tone on Kurt's ear, making Kurt jumped.

"Well, maybe" he started, while they reached the drugstore where they had agreed to meet Sam, "and this is just a thought – but _maybe_ you did want to go out tonight? To have some fun with me, your best friend? And… Sam?" Kurt suggested, casually.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "Unbelievable" she snorted. "You know, Santana is not remotely subtle – I mean, she doesn't even try… but you're not better, Kurt" she accused him, looking everywhere around her to make sure that Sam hadn't arrived yet.

"Relax" Kurt chuckled, amused. "We're here early so I could ponder the perfect alcohol choice for tonight."

Rachel made a face. "Ugh, seriously?" she asked, perplexed. "I think I'm still recovering from the other night" she said, rubbing her belly. Then Kurt caught a glimpse of a tall, model-like guy entering the store.

"Hey" Sam greeted them, then observed Rachel's hand, on her belly. "You okay, Rach?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

Kurt couldn't help but _aww_ him – not out loud, though.

"Yes" she said frantically, giving an unnatural Rachel Berry's grin. "I'm fine, I'm just… not ready to drink again. My stomach is still aching from the other night" she commented.

"Oh" Sam made, understanding. "Neither am I – I mean, I'll probably go with beer tonight, you know? Smooth" he explained, even making a hand gesture. Both Kurt and Rachel observed him mutely. "Yeah, so… I'll go grab them" he said, before going to the back of the store.

"Oh, wait" Kurt said while catching up with him. "I think I'll go with beer too" he said, satisfied. That was definitely a good choice. Not that Kurt was too worried, _or nervous_, about what he should bring, or how he should proceed once they reached Sebastian's. _Nope_.

"I'll wait for you outside" Rachel muttered, reluctantly.

On the way towards Sebastian's, Kurt couldn't help but observe his two friends. It was weird, because he had never deliberately paid attention to their reactions towards each other, but once he started, he couldn't stop. Suddenly, Kurt found himself wondering how he couldn't see this earlier. He knew Sam, and he knew Rachel separately, but the two of them together was simply quite different. Both acted shier, kinder even. Like they had no clue what they were doing around each other and had to extreme the caution, since they were not able to pull back either. Kurt could relate to that.

Sebastian's apartment was insanely crowded. Apparently it was some sort of farewell party, since most of the attendants were NYU students and had recently finished their exams, included Sebastian himself. How Sebastian had found the time to even study was quite the mystery to Kurt.

Speaking of whom, the host was MIA. There were people hanging out on the hallway, on the bathroom, the living room… and the door was wide open. Still no sign of Sebastian. They didn't know anyone, but no one seemed to notice – or maybe those college boys and girls were not in the mood to ask questions. Everybody looked quite tipsy.

Sam looked animated. "College party" he screamed, carrying his pack of beers inside the apartment. Kurt and Rachel followed him. The blond boy was the kind of person who could find his way around anywhere.

They took a residence in the kitchen, where apparently the talkative people were. Everyone just naturally included them in their group conversations, casting them curious looks when they said they were NYADA students.

"NYADA? What does that stand for?" a cheery red hair girl asked Kurt.

"Oh, it's the New York Academy of Dramatic Arts" Kurt recited, nervously. "We're majoring in musical theatre" he explained.

"Well, not me" Sam interfered. "I'm a model" he stated, grinning casually. Rachel casted him a small smile.

"Wow – that's so cool" the red hair said. "Hey, guys! These people are not pre-Med!" she screamed, and suddenly there were a bunch of widened eyes studying them.

Kurt giggled nervously. "What? Are you all guys pre-Med?" he asked tentatively, feeling suddenly out of place.

"Most of us, yeah" a tall, blond boy answered. His face looked familiar to Kurt, but he couldn't quite say why. "Hey, Kurt" the boy greeted him.

"Oh – hi" Kurt greeted him back, trying hard not to look surprised.

"You don't remember me, do you?" the boy chuckled, but he gave Kurt a kind smile, instead of a bitter one.

Kurt bit his lip. "You actually look familiar, but I- can't place you" Kurt told him, scratching his head. Rachel and Sam shared a suspicious look.

"I'm Andy – Sebastian's friend. We met at Loud 4, remember?" he said, moving to stand right beside Kurt.

"Oh" Kurt made, remembering. "Yeah, of course I remember you" he said nervously. _Oh, boy_. "Sorry – I was quite a mess that night" he apologised, embarrassed, his mind wandering back to the infamous night Blaine and he broke up. Kurt could remember with clarity not being his nicest to this particular boy.

"Don't mention it" Andy said, patting Kurt's back. And Kurt suddenly remembered _how_ they met. _Flirting_, that was how.

Kurt giggled nervously again. "So you know Sebastian from class?" Kurt asked him, trying to make small conversation.

"Sort of" the blond guy smiled. And he had quite a beautiful smile. "We're also in Theatre Club together" he explained.

"Oh" Kurt made, sadly. "It's a pity that I missed your performance. I would've loved to see it" he said truly.

Andy smiled at him again. "Well, you'll be there next time, right?" he said. _Boy_, was he handsome.

Kurt smiled genuinely. "Sure. If Sebastian doesn't forget to mention it – that is" he chuckled.

"Give me your phone number and I'll keep you posted" Andy told him, taking out his cell phone.

_That was fast_, Kurt thought, then locked eyes with Rachel, who was raising an eyebrow at him. Kurt mimicked her gesture and shrugged. What? Could he not pick up random guys' numbers?

"Here" Andy said, passing Kurt his cell phone so Kurt could type in his number.

Kurt did it without as much as giving it a second thought. Giving his number was harmless. Plus, Andy would make sure he knew about Sebastian's upcoming performances. That was the_ real deal_. "Hey, do you know where Sebastian is?" Kurt asked Andy. He'd been at his place for almost half an hour and still no sign of the boy.

"He took off to buy more booze" Andy commented. Kurt had to stop himself from wincing at the word 'booze'. He simply didn't like it. But he gave Andy a thankful smile anyway. "He should be here any moment. Or maybe he is already. Probably on the balcony – _Seb_ doesn't like crowds" Andy told him. Kurt didn't know what he found more confusing: the piece of information, or the nickname.

"Then why does he throw a party?" Kurt couldn't help but asking.

Andy shrugged, giving Kurt a blissful, ignorant smile. The guy was sweet, but not the sharpest.

"O-kay" Kurt said slowly. "I'm gonna check the balcony then, see if I can find him" he informed Andy, who looked kind of disappointed. Like a kicked puppy. "These are my good friends Rachel and Sam" Kurt said while pointing at them. "Guys – this is Andy" he smiled awkwardly, then dismissed himself.

Thankfully, Kurt knew his way around Sebastian's too, so he was quite sure the balcony was the little terrace the boy had in his bedroom, and not the one on his living room. It was quite a rich boy's apartment, indeed.

As guessed, Sebastian stood there talking on the phone, with a sour expression.

"Tell him I did, okay? That's all he cares about, anyway" the boy said, with the harsh tone Kurt had not heard him use in a while.

Kurt startled, realising he was eavesdropping on Sebastian again. He turned around immediately and decided to wait outside the room. He rested his back on a living room wall.

Only two minutes later, Sebastian exited the room too. He didn't see Kurt and walked right by him, towards the main door, but Kurt caught his arm.

"Hey" he greeted Sebastian, cheerily. If he gave Sebastian a knowingly smile, the boy would think something was off.

Sebastian's serious expression turned somewhat livelier instantly. Kurt held his breath.

"Gayface" Sebastian said, placing his hands around Kurt's waist, and greeting Kurt with a bite on the nose.

Kurt's arms were immediately around Sebastian's shoulders. "It took me a while to find you" Kurt told him, chuckling. "Andy said you went outside" he commented, scratching Sebastian's arm.

"Wow, the guy doesn't miss a chance" Sebastian joked. "I was about to, but I had to take _this_- long story" Sebastian said, showing Kurt his phone, then dismissing the matter with a hand gesture. "So, you wanna come with me? We're running out of alcohol already" he said.

Kurt nodded and smiled. "Sure. Let me grab my coat – it's in the kitchen" he said, pointing towards the spot. There was a visibly difficult crowd blocking the entrance. Kurt rubbed his forehead.

"That looks easy" Sebastian commented, sarcastically. Then he grabbed Kurt's arm and took him to his room. Kurt followed him. "Here, you can borrow my jacket" Sebastian passed him a leather jacket, and Kurt observed it confused. It clearly didn't match his outfit.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "It'll be five minutes, Kurt. Give it a rest" he complained, amused.

Kurt snorted, reluctantly. "Fine" he muttered. "The things you make me do, God" he sighed.

Sebastian grabbed Kurt's ass playfully. "Making you were these jeans was a fine request – admit it" he whispered on his ear.

Kurt smiled shyly. "It's not a request if you actually 'make me' wear them…" Kurt commented, biting his lip. They were alone in Sebastian's room, with the lights off, and Sebastian was giving him the predatory look. So Kurt needed to bite his lip, to find some restraint. Otherwise, he'd attack Sebastian's lips aggressively.

Sebastian came forwards and trapped him against the wall, both hands on Kurt's hips. "I could 'make you' do some other things if you keep questioning my commands." Kurt gulped and let go of his lower lip, needing his whole mouth now to gather some oxygen. His nose didn't seem to be enough entrance.

"I could comply" Kurt whispered, lost in Sebastian's fierce look. He raised his hands then to caress Sebastian's cheeks and show the boy some affection. Sebastian closed his eyes and leaned into the touch, relaxing. And once he relaxed, he looked tired. Kurt's heart melted a little at the view. Kurt couldn't help but kissing Sebastian's cheek, carefully. "You look tired, Bas" he commented, caressing the spot.

Sebastian opened his eyes, but the tired, honest look was still there. "Rough week" he admitted, staring right at Kurt. "But you're gonna heal me tonight, aren't you?" he gave Kurt a small smile.

Kurt's heart stuttered. He simply nodded, smiling back at the handsome boy in front of him.

"Good" Sebastian smiled calmly. It wasn't one of his brightest smiles, but it was equally alluring. He rested his forehead on Kurt's and closed his eyes again. Kurt stroke the back of Sebastian's head, barely making pressure. Suddenly everything around them felt incredibly intimate, even though they were at a party and aggressively flirting only three minutes ago.

Kurt felt Sebastian's breathing slowly gracing his own lips, and Sebastian's lips were so close that Kurt could already feel them, promising him a kiss. Kurt could not wait any longer and came slightly forward to kiss Sebastian. And their lips seemed to like each other, because once they met, they deepened the kiss almost immediately. Sebastian was kissing him willingly, fervently and it was contagious. Suddenly Sebastian's hands were all over Kurt's chest, stroking it – every touch gentler than the touch before.

Sebastian lowered down his mouth to place warm, vibrant kisses along Kurt's throat. Kurt felt a heat wave running all over his skin and guts, shaking him up. Then Sebastian's face reached Kurt's chest, where it rested to inhale, while his teeth nibbled the buttons of Kurt's shirt.

"Bas?" Kurt managed to ask, confused. They were not alone. Someone might come in any second, and they were supposed to go buy some 'booze', right? Though any of those thoughts seemed relevant enough once Kurt breathed out Sebastian's name.

Sebastian shushed him, his hands gently squeezing Kurt's torso with soft touches. He had undone the first three buttons of Kurt's shirt, and had his nose now hidden on Kurt's chest. Sebastian's lips found their residence somewhere in between Kurt's nipples, where they warmed up the skin with their lingering kisses.

It was a deep, intense kind of tenderness, and Kurt had never experienced it. It made him eager for more, and yet paralysed him.

Two more buttons got loose, and now Sebastian's mouth was reaching Kurt's abdomen. The boy applied just as much warmth as he had applied before. The continuous rubs of his hands on Kurt's torso put Kurt at ease, soothing him. The gesture told Kurt that everything was all right, and it made him feel like it was Sebastian the one who would be healing him tonight.

Kurt wasn't only turned on – mostly, he was feeling loved. But he forced himself to focus on the sensations rather than on his deductions. And the sensations were exhilarating enough.

Gradually, Sebastian's mouth found his way up to Kurt's lips again, where it rested for a few seconds. Kurt kissed him eagerly, trying to transmit Sebastian at least an inch of the gratitude he was feeling. Gratitude for how amazing Sebastian made him feel.

But Sebastian had other plans.

"Turn around" he demanded Kurt, his nose grazing Kurt's ear momentarily. Kurt trembled, taken aback, even though Sebastian's eyes looked not as hunger as other times before. Sebastian took in Kurt's anxiety and rubbed his hands along Kurt's arm, to sooth him.

"I'm not gonna enter you just yet, relax" he whispered, jokingly. Kurt let himself be calmed by the touch for a few seconds. Then he turned around, unable to pronounce a single word.

Sebastian lowered down Kurt's shirt over the shoulder, slowly uncovering Kurt's back and greeting the skin he found with constant kisses that drew a warm line, barely nibbling here and there. He thrust his hands under Kurt's arms, reaching out to feel Kurt's now naked chest. His fingers cautiously grabbed the skin they found there.

Kurt's breathing became more unsteady, but he managed to keep it together. Something about the slow, patient speed Sebastian was employing on his touches made Kurt feel somewhat in control, even though he was letting Sebastian dispose of him.

Kurt grabbed Sebastian's forearms, taking a hold on them – he needed to touch and feel the other boy too. But soon enough, Sebastian's right hand was feeling the way down Kurt's upper body, until it reached Kurt's bulge and started massaging the erection there. Kurt gasped now, startling, but Sebastian was quick to place a wet kiss on his cheek. His left hand, which remained on Kurt's chest, grabbed Kurt's hand tightly – his thumb drawing circles to ease Kurt. And Kurt let himself, again, be soothed by Sebastian.

He didn't really know why Sebastian made him this nervous. It was not like he had never had sex before, or foreplays. It was definitely something about this particular man, and the very particular intensity he put in every movement he made around Kurt.

Sebastian undid Kurt's belt and slipped his hand under Kurt's underwear, now making direct contact with Kurt's sensitive, intimate skin. Kurt moaned silently, and Sebastian rested his head on his shoulder, his unsteady breath covering Kurt's skin. Sebastian was moaning too, and soon enough his body was pressed against Kurt's. Kurt was fully able to feel Sebastian's erection against his ass cheek now. He gulped.

The movements of Sebastian's hand became faster and eager on his erection as they both felt more aroused. Then the boy started rubbing his own erection against Kurt's ass, raising the temperature of the whole room. Kurt could barely breathe.

Kurt knew he was about to come, and he felt the sudden urge to look at Sebastian. He grabbed the hand Sebastian had hidden under his underwear and removed it, turning around to face the boy and kiss him. He brought Sebastian closer and pressed himself against him now, working on the movement of his body against Sebastian's so they both could come together. Sebastian let him.

"I'm-" Kurt tried to talk but Sebastian's lips didn't let him, biting his lower lip hard to stop him. Kurt tried it again. He wanted to explain Sebastian why he had took off his hand: "I'm close" but that was the best he could manage. Kurt breathed out between kisses, his hands feeling Sebastian's skin under the black, fitted shirt the boy was wearing.

Sebastian nodded, knowingly. "Me too" he whispered. They stopped kissing then; their mouths simply took a hold on each other's skins; their movements more frantic and convulsive now as they reached the climax and released.

They both moaned quietly, letting go of the muscular tension. Kurt grabbed Sebastian's collar and started babbling: "That- was… that was- am-azing" he breathed out, tiredly. Every intimate encounter they had, felt even better than the time before. Kurt's whole body trembled at the mere thought of what it would feel like to finally go all the way with Sebastian.

Sebastian smiled against Kurt's neck, then bit it. "I needed it" the boy said with a hoarse voice. He dug out his head. "Shall we continue it later?" Sebastian asked, smirking widely.

"Sure" Kurt agreed, somewhat overwhelmed. He might need to gather some energy first, though. Kurt smiled timidly at Sebastian, whose eyes kept piercing Kurt's still uncovered chest. The boy returned the smile and started fixing Kurt's outfit, silently. Kurt observed him, always taken aback for Sebastian's continuous thoughtfulness. He was always so attentive…

Sebastian finished buttoning Kurt's shirt and squeezed his waist, in a 'done' kind of way. Kurt grabbed one of his hands, and looked right at him, trying to shake his shyness away. "Thank you" he whispered.

Sebastian studied Kurt's expression for a few seconds, looking amused and insecure at the same time. Then he casted Kurt a small, slightly surprised smile. "You're welcome" the boy said, as if he didn't really understand what Kurt was thanking him for. He squeezed Kurt's waist again.

/

Eventually, Rachel got tipsy too. Sam and she shared some beers and Kurt joined them when he came back from the street with Sebastian, bringing some more 'booze'.

At some point, everybody started doing tequila shots, and Kurt found himself with a shot on both hands. He raised his eyes to meet the mysterious guy who had put them there, and it turned out to be Andy, who showed Kurt a salt shaker and a plate with a sliced lemon.

Kurt giggled at this guy's determination. He took the salt shaker and covered his own hand with salt, then passed it over to Andy, who opened his mouth to protest. "Hey, that's not how it's done" the blond boy said, pointing to his own neck.

Kurt shook his head, amused. "Take it or leave it" Kurt offered him. Andy had to give in.

Once they were done with the two shots, Kurt felt two hands momentarily squeezing his chest from behind, then resting on his hips. "Those had to be the most boring shots ever, gayface" Sebastian mocked him.

Kurt slapped Sebastian's hands playfully. "Hu, I don't go licking random necks around, thank you" Kurt rolled his eyes.

Sebastian moved to stand right beside him. "It's a good thing then that you're already familiar with mine" he said out loud, gaining a very shocked look from Andy. Sam was mute, and Rachel just made a face. Sebastian smirked.

"Here" Sebastian said, gently grabbing Kurt's neck and tracing a long, thin line of salt along it. Before Kurt could react, Sebastian was licking that same line. "Mm" he made, suggestively, then drank the shot and put the lemon slice on Kurt's lips, to take it from him. "You know? This would be a lot more fun if you just cooperated a little" Sebastian said, pinching Kurt's chest somewhere dangerously close to his right nipple. The boy certainly knew his way around Kurt's body even when Kurt was fully dressed.

Kurt casted Sebastian an annoyed look for the little show-off he was giving his friends. But Sebastian ignored him and came forwards to capture the lemon slice, kissing Kurt a little longer than necessary in the process. Kurt pulled off, casting his friends an awkward look.

Sam shrugged. "It's okay, dude. Blaine told me" he said. Kurt froze. He had not told Sebastian just yet.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at Kurt, but he didn't look upset. In fact, he looked simply surprised. Kurt casted him a shy, awkward smile. Thankfully, Sebastian let it be. Instead, the boy grabbed the salt shaker and stated: "We're making a round, and we're all participating, Berry" he winked at her. Rachel narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth to protest, but Sam was faster.

"Don't worry, Rach. We can take it together so you don't have to suffer other guy's drools" he assured her, sweetly. Rachel went mute and put her poker face on. Then she just nodded.

Kurt chuckled, amused. Then Sebastian caught his attention by offering his already salted neck. "Someone's a little eager" Kurt joked. Sebastian pulled him closer.

"Damn right I am" Sebastian whispered on his ear. Kurt shivered and went for Sebastian's neck, proceeding more discretely than Sebastian. He drank the shot and grabbed the lemon from Sebastian's lips, unintentionally biting his lower lip. Sebastian didn't complain, though.

Kurt observed then a very blushed Rachel letting Sam lick her neck. Sam wasn't exactly pale either.

"What's with those two?" Sebastian asked him, following Kurt's eyes.

Kurt gave him a small smile. "Nothing. Yet" he added. Sebastian smirked.

"Do they need a little push, too?" the boy asked cheekily. Yeah, definitely Sebastian and Santana were not that different.

Kurt nodded, amused.

"Second round!" Sebastian screamed, maliciously.

/

The rest of the night went by on a blur. Kurt remembered dancing with Rachel and Sam, dancing with Andy and making out with Sebastian every now and then. Kurt was trying to put the pieces of the night together when he found himself drinking water from a very large bottle. How that bottle had ended up on his hands, he wasn't quite sure.

Then Kurt remembered he was on the street, where he had been for almost half an hour. He had also a bitten taco on his lap. The mix of food and water was probably bringing back his awareness to a good shape.

He was sitting on a bench, and Rachel was resting her head on his shoulder. Sebastian and Sam were on his feet, eating and talking simultaneously. _What an odd scene_, Kurt thought, rubbing his eyes.

"Oh, yeah – he definitely wants to punch you" Sam commented casually, while taking another bite from his burger.

Sebastian chuckled. "Sounds like fun."

Something told Kurt that they were talking about Blaine, and his belly made an anxious twirl.

"And you're his best friend?" Sebastian asked Sam, who looked quite comfortable with the talk.

"Yeah" Sam replied enthusiastically. "I love him! He's like- the best friend I've ever had" he told Sebastian, grinning like a little kid.

Kurt's stomach felt even funnier.

"Okay" Sebastian said, chuckling. "Well, I think it's pretty cool that you can be here with us, and not punch me" he commented somewhat jokingly, but Kurt could tell Sebastian was being sincere.

Sam shrugged. "Kurt's my friend too" he said, then locked eyes with him and smiled. "We were brothers for a while, you know" Sam said then to Sebastian, who looked suddenly puzzled.

"For a while?" Sebastian asked, scratching his chin and casting Kurt an amused look.

Kurt chuckled. "Yeah, Sam came live with Finn and me for a while in my senior year. Long story" Kurt waved his hand to dismiss the subject. His brain felt somewhat tired.

"Cool" Sebastian told Sam, who kept waiting for some kind of congratulation.

"It was pretty cool, man" Sam agreed. "So I'm trying to be partial here, it's only fair" he explained casually.

"Impartial – I think it's the word you're looking for" Sebastian suggested, but he looked more amused than willing to mock Sam. Thankfully.

"You're sure, dude?" Sam asked Sebastian, confused. "I mean, that doesn't make any sense, right? If I'm taking both their sides, or parts, then how can I be 'impartial'?" Sam explained, and he seemed really curious about the matter.

Sebastian contained a chuckle, and just shrugged. "I know, right?" he said, casting Kurt a small smile.

_Well, he can be nice when he wants to…_ Kurt thought, eyeing him suspiciously.

"Well, I'm really thankful for that either way, Sam" Kurt said, casting him a genuine smile.

Sam smiled back at him. "I've got your back, Kurt" he assured Kurt, and Kurt's stomach felt at ease again.

"Isn't Berry too quiet?" Sebastian asked then, trying to lock eyes with her.

But Rachel's eyes were closed. Kurt turned his head to see her placidly sleeping on his shoulder.

Sebastian made a ball with the wrap of his taco and threw it at her.

"Hey" Sam and Kurt made simultaneously. Sebastian rolled his eyes at them.

Rachel opened up her eyes slowly and looked around, zombie-like. "Is it morning already?" she asked, covering her eyes from the sun with her hand.

"Yep" Kurt nodded, knowing Rachel was as freaked out as he about not wearing sunblock.

"Oh, no" she gasped dramatically, fully awake already. "Okay, we need to get out of here" she told Kurt, then looked at Sam. "Was it that way?" she asked Sebastian while she pointed towards the left. Sebastian looked clueless. "Your apartment?" she explained, standing up.

"Emmh" Sebastian made, eyeing her somewhat annoyed. "Okay, guys" he smiled forcedly at Sam and her, "it's been _lovely_ to see you, but if you excuse us now, I'd like to have some alone time with Hummel here" Kurt heard Sebastian say with a polite yet irritated tone. The 'lovely' gave it away.

Rachel's jaw fell open. "Kurt! My skin!" she said upset, narrowing her eyes at him. Kurt avoided her eyes, and thankfully Sam interfered.

"It's okay, Rach – let them have some intimacy" he told her, while grabbing her arm. "We'll take the subway, guys" Sam said out loud, waving them off. Rachel casted Sam a reproachful look, but waved Kurt and Sebastian off. Reluctantly.

Kurt observed them as they walked off. Then, he felt Sebastian moving beside him. The boy had been quick to sit beside Kurt on the bench.

"Hey, there" Sebastian grinned. _How can he look so good after a party like that?_ Kurt thought, not exactly jealous, but pleased. After all, it was he the one who would spend 'the night' with Sebastian and enjoy the ridiculously good-looking boy.

"Hey" Kurt smiled back, yawning.

Sebastian rested his hand on Kurt's thigh. Kurt had gotten so used to that, that he didn't even notice it.

"You don't look too energetic, do you?" Sebastian commented, cheekily.

Kurt shot him an annoyed look. "What a subtle way to say that I look like shit" Kurt said, trying to keep his sense of humour.

Sebastian chuckled and squeezed his thigh, coming closer. "I'm not taking it back because that's not what I meant" he said playfully, grabbing now Kurt's knees to turn him around and face him. "Plus, I think you look kind of cute when you're all worried about the state of your hair" Sebastian said, amused, running a hand through Kurt's hair.

Kurt gave him a brief glare and shook his hand off. "Hey, don't make it worse!" he protested, feeling slightly childish. 'Slightly' was a reasonable measure, right? "Anyway, I don't think you really like them _cute_" he added, trying to dismiss the attention from his hair.

"Nope" Sebastian agreed, while he brought up his hand again to Kurt's hair; this time, to fix it. Kurt narrowed his eyes at him, although his mouth betrayed him and gave Sebastian a small, suspicious smile. "I normally don't" Sebastian added, and while it was a sweet thing to say, the smirk on his lips and his seductive, low voice made it quite suggestive.

Kurt felt aroused and screwed at the same time. Sebastian needed to stop saying things like that. He needed to, or Kurt would fall for him hopelessly. More than he had already fallen – that is.

They locked eyes and stared at each other silently, both sharing a knowingly smile. A smile that assured both of them that there'd be funny business somewhat soon. Kurt had to look away, aware that he was blushing. _God_, how did he even have the energy to keep blushing? He damned his alabaster skin.

"What I meant, if you're actually interested to know it" Sebastian said, capturing Kurt's jawline with his hand, "it's that you're tired, and that's okay" he added, giving Kurt one of those effortless-but-bright-like-the-sun smiles. "Because _I'm not gonna enter you just yet_" the boy said, clearly amused, repeating those same words Kurt had heard only a few hours ago.

That didn't help to ease Kurt's blush. In fact, it made it worse. He managed to give Sebastian a 'stop it' smile.

Sebastian kissed Kurt's cheek. "I'm kidding."

"Hilarious" Kurt replied sarcastically.

Sebastian ignored him. "So, here's the deal" he stated, cockily. "How about we come back to my apartment, I grant you some hours to sleep, and rest, and relax that gracious butt of yours" he explained, taking his time to articulate each single word. His voice was impossibly smoother. "… then you let me tie you to my bed and keep you there for the whole day?" he asked, smirking widely.

Kurt gulped, looking away momentarily just to put himself together. But Sebastian was not willing to give him a break, and he rapidly grabbed Kurt's cheek to make him look at him. "What do you say, Kurt?" he asked, with a calm, kind tone. Kurt looked at him, and there was a huge '_Got ya_' written all over Sebastian's face. Did Kurt really have a choice? "Sounds like something you might want to do?" Sebastian continued, caressing Kurt's thigh.

Still, it was nice that the boy was kind enough to make it look like Kurt had some free will left, and was not entirely committed to Sebastian already.

Needless to say, Kurt wanted to.

"Ye-yeah. It does" Kurt stuttered, but forced himself to stare right at Sebastian's eyes and not feel intimidated by his straightforwardness. Sebastian's wildly confident manners were a _huge _turn-on, _don't get me wrong_, but it had the tendency to make Kurt feel oddly shy, and nervous.

Sebastian regarded him with curiosity, probably surprised by Kurt's honest answer. "Come here" the boy said then, giving Kurt a sweet, harmless smile. He grabbed Kurt's collar to bring him closer and kiss him.

Kurt smiled against Sebastian's lips, kissing the boy back eagerly.

/

If there was a time when Kurt had felt mentally capable of communicating Sebastian his doubts and fears about their 'relationship', Kurt could no longer remember how that felt.

He had no fears now. Nor did he have doubts. He was now crushing hard on Sebastian – and there was no stopping that. There was nothing else to doubt, nor to discuss. Kurt had the certainty. And it felt strong, burning in his chest, while Sebastian cuddled him now in bed.

He felt Sebastian's breathing falling over his shoulder, and it soothed him. It didn't matter if Sebastian did not feel the same. He hoped the boy had meant it when he told Kurt he would respect anything Kurt might feel. It was a sad consolation, but it was a consolation nevertheless. And Kurt would hold on to it. He would hold on to it until there was no more 'Sebastian and him'.


	20. Chapter 20

Thanks for reading and reviewing, really, it makes writing this very worth it! :)

This chapter was quite hard to write... I don't have much time any more and I've had an awful cold since last Friday u.u anyway, I hope you guys enjoy it!

P.s. I don't own Glee.

* * *

Kurt woke up feeling somewhat cold. Which was understandable, considering that he was on his underwear. But it wasn't only that. There was no sheet covering him, nor there was a body. Sebastian's body.

Kurt opened up his eyes suddenly alarmed, like he had just woken up from a nightmare. He felt weirdly self-aware. He was almost naked and alone on a bed that wasn't his. Something about that made him feel foreign to his surroundings, even though he was not new to them.

Then he heard a noise coming from the kitchen. He slightly sat up on the bed, his weight resting on his elbows. Kurt tried to shake away the feeling of disbelonging he was getting. _Ugh_, if only he didn't have such a funny mood in the mornings…

The door was opened then, and Sebastian came in carrying a big tray. With breakfast. Kurt's heart made a mortal jump.

"Hey" Sebastian greeted him, too lively for Kurt's state. Not that Kurt didn't feel immediately happier at the view of Sebastian, and what the boy had been doing on the kitchen, but his sleepy state was making things difficult. Kurt managed to give him a small, but genuine, smile.

"Hey" Kurt said back, sitting up straighter on the bed. He rested his hands on his knees to stop them from shaking. The sweet guy in front of him was making him tremble.

Sebastian approached the bed, still smiling, and placed the tray at their feet, getting in bed too and covering both Kurt and him with the sheet he found on the floor.

"I hope you weren't too cold tonight" Sebastian gave Kurt an apologetic smile, observing the sheet.

Kurt was paralysed. Overwhelmed even. He shook his head, smiling. "Not until you got up – I think" Kurt said.

Sebastian observed him with a cheeky expression. "I make one hell of a human covers, don't I?" he joked, stroking Kurt's knee. "Warm, and comfy" he added, running his tongue along his lower lip, with a hungry expression.

Kurt shivered. "You do" he conceded, biting the inside of his mouth, nervously. "What did you bring me here?" he asked, needing a change of subject. His body craved energy to be able to keep up with Sebastian's speed.

Sebastian smiled amused. "Just some fuel – you're gonna need it" he said, calmly staring at Kurt. But Sebastian's calm tone did not hide his intentions. Kurt gulped, already blushing. Suddenly there was not enough air around them. Sebastian moved his hand slightly higher, towards Kurt's thigh. "Don't worry" the boy said, his head now searching for Kurt's neck. Kurt felt Sebastian's piercing eyes running wildly over his flushed neck skin. "I'll get you there warm and ready" Sebastian whispered against his ear. Kurt breathed out nervously, but forced himself to look at Sebastian briefly before grabbing the tray and bringing it closer.

"I'm gonna need this, then" Kurt murmured, giving up. "Thank you, I guess" Kurt said awkwardly, giving Sebastian a quick look before taking a bite from a toast.

Sebastian snorted, and grabbed a glass of juice from the tray. "Oh – it's the least I could do" the boy said, cockily, containing a laughter.

Kurt observed him while he chewed his toast, and realised Sebastian looked really amused. "You enjoy doing this do to me, don't you?" Kurt asked then, relaxing a little.

Sebastian finally chuckled, no longer containing it. "Yes, I do" he admitted, grinning like a little kid. "You can't blame me, though. Your faces are just… well, so expressive" he commented, between chuckles.

Kurt casted him a bitchy glare. "Great. My face is a freaking mirror" Kurt rubbed his cheeks, soothing them.

"Don't" Sebastian said, still grinning stupidly. "Those blushing cheeks are mine and I demand you let them be" the boy said while shaking Kurt's hands away. Kurt rolled his eyes and bit his toast again. "Besides," Sebastian added, coming closer again, suggestively, "they really turn me on."

Kurt coughed, almost choking on his toast, and Sebastian snorted, placing a soft kiss on Kurt's cheek. "Okay, I'll grant you a break to eat – otherwise you won't make it to our fun time" he joked.

"How very considerate of you" Kurt responded ironically. But he was feeling calmer now. Sebastian was being Sebastian. And that was something Kurt always enjoyed and found irritating at the same time. It was their usual dynamic.

They both ate silently, comfortably, but Kurt's stomach threatened to go ungentle on him every time Sebastian and he shared a furtive smile. They had never shared that before. And it was quite something.

"Stop distracting me" Kurt pinched on Sebastian's naked chest, playfully, the third time the boy gave him a not-so-innocent furtive smile.

Sebastian caught Kurt's hand before Kurt could pull it back and kept it there, on his chest.

Sebastian's hand, over his, on that sensitive yet sculptural spot, felt really intimate. Before Kurt could realise what he was doing, his thumb was stroking Sebastian's skin, affectionately. His aim wasn't to turn Sebastian on – not yet, anyway. He just wanted to feel him. To feel close to him.

Kurt got distracted observing his hand under Sebastian's, so when he raised his eyes to meet the other boy's and unconsciously smiled at him, he was taken aback by the serious look the boy was giving him. It wasn't a bad kind of seriousness, but it was serious anyway.

Sebastian looked away two seconds later and let go of Kurt's hand, grabbing the tray and resting it on the floor. Then he moved slowly, no sign of a smirk or a cheeky smile on his lips or eyes, and gradually placed himself on top of Kurt. First, he grabbed one pillow and put it behind Kurt's head, inviting him to rest his head there and get comfortable. Then the boy placed his knees on both sides of Kurt, and helped Kurt lay his back down on the mattress.

The caution and care Sebastian put on every movement made Kurt smile. It was only a matter of time before Sebastian speeded it all up. _Wasn't it? _Still it felt nice starting things up like this. It gave Kurt the time to prepare himself for it. Not that Kurt didn't enjoy Sebastian's roughness, but it was quite hard to pick between his rough side and his sweet one. Thankfully, he didn't have to.

Then, Sebastian lowered himself down to cover Kurt with his body, but placed his forearms on the mattress to not crash upon him. Kurt gave him a shy smile, and brought his hands to Sebastian's shoulders.

"I know I really wanna do this" the boy said, giving Kurt an intense, insecure look, while he studied Kurt's reactions. "But- sometimes, it's hard to know if you do" he continued. Kurt didn't know what he was most shocked about: that statement, or Sebastian's eyes – full of doubt and insecurity. "I mean- I can't really tell if you're just nervous, or… if I fail to make you feel- well, comfortable enough with- _this_" the boy explained.

So that was what that serious look was about. Kurt didn't know what to say. Sebastian wasn't entirely wrong – he was freaking nervous around him most of the time. But that wasn't what was making him mute. It was Sebastian opening up to him and telling him what was on his mind. It was refreshing, for a change, but also… intense.

"Look, I know we've already been- sort of intimate, but… well, I need to know that you're totally okay with this" Sebastian continued, struggling visibly. Kurt caressed his face, being this the only way he found to show Sebastian support while he spoke. "Because sometimes I feel like I'm going to deflower you" the boy joked, nervously.

Kurt bit his lip, feeling kind of down with himself. He sighed. "I really don't like that" Kurt said, trying to fight how annoyed at himself those words made him feel so he could find a way to prove Sebastian differently. "I'm sorry" he said, straightforwardly, bringing his hands to stroke Sebastian's sides.

Sebastian regarded him with curiosity, and smiled. "Why? Don't be" the boy added quickly, brushing his nose against Kurt's cheek, then planting a soothing kiss there.

Kurt felt a chill down his spine, but thankfully didn't shiver. He smiled at Sebastian, grateful, and sighed. "Can I be honest?" Kurt asked.

"Of course" Sebastian told him, seriously.

"I really don't know why you make me so nervous" Kurt said, honestly. "But I've stopped questioning it. Because I- I kind of like it" Kurt added with a small smile, tentatively.

Sebastian smiled back at him. "I can help with that, then" he said, livelier. "I don't mind soothing you."

Kurt felt his chest getting warmer. "Oh – that's gonna come in handy" he joked, coyly. "Because I feel totally ready for… you know" Kurt said clumsily. "You might find this hard to believe, but I've felt somewhat ready since you lectured me in fetishism" Kurt admitted, half-jokingly, aware that he might blush – but he didn't care now.

They both chuckled. "Well, humour me – I think I noticed that" Sebastian stated cockily, biting Kurt's neck playfully. "I wanna ask you something else, though" Sebastian added.

"Shoot" Kurt said, feeling relieved. So far, the nerves part had being successfully clarified. He squeezed Sebastian's sides.

"Would I be… your second?" the boy asked, bluntly.

Kurt froze. He thought Sebastian already knew that and was cool with it. "You mean," Kurt gulped, insecurely, "the second guy I um-"

"Have sex with, yeah" Sebastian finished the sentence, giving him an amused smile.

Kurt bit his lip. "Would that be… a problem?" he asked, tentatively.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him, smirking. "You're gonna answer me based on what I say next?" he asked, chuckling.

"Maybe" Kurt said playfully. "I really hope I don't have to, though…" he added, since they were sort of playing.

Sebastian shook his head in a 'you silly' kind of way. "So you've only had sex with Blaine, right?" he asked then, though he was stating it.

Kurt nodded, biting the inner part of his mouth. _Well_, he had never intended to hide that, anyway.

"Okay" Sebastian said again, taking that in. "Maybe that's another reason why you're so nervous" he meditated out loud, observing Kurt for a few seconds. Kurt wasn't so sure about that. He was under the impression that it was about Sebastian, and not about how many guys he'd been with.

"Well," Sebastian said, looking suddenly less lively, "then I guess it's only fair that you know that-" he stopped, looking momentarily away before making eye contact with Kurt, "I've been with a lot of guys" Sebastian stated. Two months ago, Kurt could have imagined Sebastian bragging about something like that. But the guy he had in front of him didn't sound cocky in the slightest.

"So I- I've had myself tested with regularity for a couple of years now" Sebastian explained, and Kurt could tell he felt awkward while telling this. "And I'm clean. Last time I checked was like- one month ago, and you have nothing to be afraid of, because I haven't been intimate with anyone since then."

"O-kay" Kurt said slowly, feeling sort of awkward and amused at the same time.

They locked eyes then and chuckled simultaneously, releasing the tension. "That was awkward, wasn't it?" Sebastian asked him, looking more like himself now. Kurt giggled. "I just thought you should know" Sebastian added, scratching Kurt's arm.

"And I thank you for that" Kurt said, "not that I had any concerns, though…"

"You didn't?" Sebastian asked, giving him a reproachful look. "Kurt, you've got to be careful with that. Especially with guys like me" he joked. "I guess you've never had to worried about that before, but… now you do, gayface" he said, stroking Kurt's hair.

Kurt shrugged. "I kind of had faith that you were smart enough not to catch anything" Kurt said playfully, though he meant it. "And I'm not really planning on go trying people around, so… I think I'm good" he giggled.

"You don't?" Sebastian asked – and the boy was asking honestly, with a glint of shock on his eyes. Kurt tried not to overthink things. "I mean, you just got out of a three year relationship" he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "Don't you wanna live a little?" Sebastian asked, but not maliciously. Still, Kurt forced himself not to show how he didn't like that expression.

"I guess that depends on what 'living a little' means… I do feel very alive right now" Kurt said, giving Sebastian a small smile. He hoped Sebastian got it. Kurt felt like this was where he was supposed to be now.

Sebastian's pupils dilated, and his eyes smiled genuinely at Kurt, while he run a hand along Kurt's body, from chest to navel. "What else do I make you feel?" Sebastian asked him, wetting his lips.

Kurt doubted briefly whether this conversation was going smut, or he could stick to the butterflies-on-my stomach talk. Sebastian's eyes were not even remotely looking as hungry as they usually did when things got intense.

"Challenged" Kurt said, feeling a pleasant tickle on his navel. Sebastian had just kissed the spot.

"What else?" the boy asked, his breath only millimetres away from Kurt's skin, now reaching his abdomen.

Kurt closed his eyes. His whole mind was focused on Sebastian's mouth and its closeness to his skin. The feeling somehow opened up Kurt's box of honest answers, and his mouth took charge of everything.

"Accepted" Kurt breathed out. Sebastian kissed the lower part of his ribbons.

"Keep talking" Sebastian demanded, noticing that all he could hear from Kurt was his breathing. He kissed the higher part of his ribbons now.

"Warm" Kurt said. Sebastian kissed just slightly below his left nipple. "Brave" Sebastian kissed his right nipple now. Kurt gasped quietly. "Eager" Sebastian's lips were on his clavicles. "Wanted" Sebastian's tongue was out now, wetting Kurt's neck until it reached his lips, which Kurt parted immediately.

They both sat up impulsively, and Kurt pulled Sebastian's hair fiercely, beaming with electric energy. Sebastian's hands grabbed Kurt's torso roughly.

"I want you _so_ bad" Kurt breathed out, feeling a wave of joy invading his insides. "Don't you doubt that" he said, smiling against Sebastian's lips.

They locked eyes briefly, still devouring each other's mouth. Sebastian smiled warmly too, then grabbed Kurt's head and broke the kiss. "You won't regret this. I promise" he whispered, staring right at him with a kind smile. He placed a lingering kiss on Kurt's cheek, and Kurt felt himself relax.

Sebastian rested his thumb on the sore spot, caressing it. "Lay down" the boy demanded Kurt then. "You wanna know how you make me feel?" he asked, once Kurt's back was pressed against the mattress again.

Kurt casted him a curious look. Sebastian bit his lip, pleased. "Wanted" he whispered, and playfully _bit_ Kurt's nipple, making him startle. "Eager" Sebastian breathed out on Kurt's ear, nibbling his earlobe briefly. "And warm, and accepted, and challenged…" he continued, placing wet kisses all over Kurt's neck and chest. "And alive" he finished, kissing Kurt with his mouth closed.

Kurt observed him, speechless. Funnily enough, those were the words he had also pronounced just one minute before, and yet they sounded so powerful on Sebastian's lips. So impacting. He brought his hand to Sebastian's hair and stroked it, unable to do or say anything else.

Would Sebastian be feeling _this_ too? The way Kurt was feeling? Or was the boy just repeating Kurt's words? Kurt had not dared to say 'loved', but that was also how he was feeling.

"You mean it?" Kurt whispered eventually, while Sebastian kept feeling his skin with his mouth.

The boy stopped then, and dug up his head to look at Kurt. Sebastian gave him a knowing look. "Of course I do" he said, and placed a kiss on Kurt's hipbone.

That did the trick. Kurt didn't know what took over him, but one second later he was grabbing Sebastian's neck and bringing him closer to kiss him. Just as electrically as two minutes before. This time though, they were laying down, and it didn't take long for their bodies to start rubbing against each other.

Sebastian pulled Kurt somewhat higher, towards the headboard, and Kurt quickly wrapped his legs around Sebastian's upper body – their intimate, lower parts now pressed, making full contact. Sebastian stroke Kurt's thighs, urgently, but broke the kiss.

"You wanna bottom? Or shall I?" he asked, while searching for Kurt's mouth and teasing him with wanting bites on his lower lip. Kurt attacked Sebastian's neck.

"I don't mind being bottom" Kurt mumbled against Sebastian's skin, nibbling and sucking every spot of that freckled neck. "It's what I- normally do" he breathed out, cautiously feeling Sebastian's torso with his hands, inch to inch.

Sebastian rested his mouth on Kurt's forehead, and let Kurt take his time to know and explore his body. Kurt was touching him less eagerly now, and more knowingly.

"I really wanna top this time" Sebastian told him, breathing more steadily now. "But I'll bottom for you some other time, 'kay?" the boy assured Kurt.

Kurt dug up his head from Sebastian's clavicle, and observed him for a moment. "Okay" he said, smiling warmly. Then he directed his attention to Sebastian's chest again. He run a hand over it, slightly slowing down when he reached a nipple. Then, without giving it a second thought, he brought his lips gradually closer to the spot, and rested them on the middle of it, placing a soft, lingering kiss. Then he pulled out his tongue, and traced a wet line towards Sebastian's left nipple, where Kurt started sucking.

Sebastian pulled Kurt's hair somewhat strongly, but not too hard. The boy rested his head on top of Kurt's, and kissed it between moans.

Kurt took in Sebastian's pleasure and decided to take it a little further. He slowly brought his right hand towards Sebastian's waistband, and slipped it under the fabric, feeling Sebastian's ass cheek, then stroking it. He stopped sucking then, and just kissed Sebastian's abdomen wetly, leaving sore skin at his pass.

Sebastian's hold on his hair got tighter, and only two seconds later Sebastian's tongue was on his ear, licking it thoroughly. That distracted Kurt, whose lips just stayed parted below Sebastian's pectoral. Somewhere in between that, their erections had started to rub against each other.

Sebastian removed one hand from Kurt's thigh and run it all the way up until it reached Kurt's lips. He introduced two fingers on Kurt's mouth, and Kurt licked them.

"I'm gonna open you up a little, okay?" Sebastian whispered on his ear, calmly. Kurt nodded almost imperceptibly. His eyes told Sebastian he agreed to that, though. Sebastian's wet hand stroked Kurt's back until it reached the waistband, then he teased Kurt over the fabric, caressing the hole over it.

Kurt hid his head on the crook of Sebastian's neck, and enjoyed the anticipation. He gasped when Sebastian's first finger entered him. Sebastian rubbed Kurt's back with his other hand, soothing him. "It's okay – you're just a little tight" he told Kurt. And Kurt was surprised to realise how that wasn't smut talking. Sebastian's tone was quite gentle.

Kurt relaxed, and let Sebastian keep working the sore spot. Once he felt somewhat comfortable with the pressure, Kurt kissed Sebastian's jawline and whispered "You can add another one", quietly.

Sebastian did just that, never stopping his rubs on Kurt's back. Not long after that, Kurt was nodding to tell him he could add another finger. They remained a while like that, just kissing wetly while Sebastian opened him up.

Sebastian's fingers were skilled. Soon enough, they started to hit Kurt's prostate, and Kurt was moaning mindlessly all over Sebastian's chest. "God- Bas" he babbled, unconsciously. He grabbed Sebastian's sides now, scratching them with want. Sebastian pressed himself further above Kurt, trapping him now against the mattress, and speeded up his movements above him, bringing his erection to rub constantly against Kurt's.

Kurt grabbed Sebastian's waistband, on a desperate gesture, and pulled it down, meeting Sebastian's hardness with his hands. He had never, in his short sexual life, felt this turned on. This anxious, this heated. Up until this day, Kurt never thought it would be possible for his body to contain so much want. He had always thought people exaggerated stuff when talking about sex. Maybe they did not.

Sebastian removed his fingers from inside Kurt then, and pulled down Kurt's briefs too. Then he quickly moved to catch a condom from his nightstand, and bit it open, while eyeing Kurt, who returned the look.

Kurt felt flushed, and sweaty, and was quite certain his skin might look kind of sore. He run a hand over his forehead, confirming his suspicions, and blushed – though his skin was already quite heated up, so it didn't show too much.

Sebastian observed him, side smiling, then he came forwards and kissed Kurt's forehead. It was a lingering kiss. Then, he grabbed Kurt's hand, and offered him the condom.

"Wanna put it on?" Sebastian asked, with a hoarse voice. Kurt took it – the sweat, the heat and the gesture making him feel somewhat self-aware again. He observed Sebastian's eyes then, and found a glint of kindness on them. But it wasn't the only part of Sebastian that irradiated kindness. His hands did too. The way he stroked Kurt's back, constantly calming him, or the way his other hand wrapped around Kurt's, giving him the condom.

Kurt gave him a brief smile, and came forwards to kiss him. Maybe not so heatedly anymore, but there was enough want around them by now. Kurt lowered down his hand while he kissed Sebastian until it reached his erection. He struggled a little, not capable of seeing much since he could not bring himself to pull back from kissing Sebastian.

Sebastian lowered down his hand too, and grabbed Kurt's, helping him put on the condom. Kurt's breathing became somewhat deeper from that moment on. More intense. Sebastian removed his lips from Kurt's and placed them on his cheek then, while he used his hand to locate Kurt's hole and place his cock at its entrance. Kurt grabbed that same hand then, startled, and Sebastian held his hand back tightly.

They locked eyes again, and Kurt simply nodded. Sebastian started thrusting inside him, slowly, with care. Kurt bit his lip, containing any slight pain or soreness he might feel, since he knew it would be temporary.

It wasn't long until Kurt started to feel at ease and Sebastian speeded up his movements a little, mouthing Kurt's chest constantly and his hand never leaving Kurt's.

Then, as Kurt breathing became panting and he started moaning incoherently, Sebastian's hands took a hold on his ass then, grabbing it fiercely, making things a little more rough and intense.

They never broke the eye contact, only when they kissed because it was almost inevitable to close their eyes then. However, every now and then Sebastian kept studying Kurt's eyes, silently asking Kurt if everything was okay, which Kurt responded nodding along.

"Kurt- ba-babe" Sebastian panted, on his neck, "can I- come against your skin?" he asked, mouthing the sweaty spot. Kurt didn't quite know what that'd imply exactly, but he didn't have it in him right now to deny Sebastian a thing, so he stroked Sebastian's arm and whispered: "You can do any- thing you- want", tiredly.

Sebastian exited him then, and threw away the condom, thrusting his hands between Kurt and the mattress to grab his shoulders from behind. "You close?" Sebastian asked him, his cock now caressing Kurt's belly, just as Kurt's was caressing Sebastian's belly too.

Kurt nodded. Sebastian hid his head on the crook of Kurt's neck and they let their bodies took care of the friction. Kurt came first, wrapping his arms around Sebastian's back, frantically. It felt like nothing he had felt before.

A few seconds later, realising that Sebastian hadn't come yet, Kurt restarted his movements until he felt Sebastian's cum on him.

The boy rested on top of him, not removing his hands from his back, or a single inch of skin from above Kurt's. They remained like this for quite a while.

Eventually, Sebastian moved to the side, resting his head over the pillow, but kept his arms around Kurt, and their legs intertwined.

"I had never done it like that" Sebastian said, observing Kurt with a calm expression. Post-orgasm calm expression.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him. "Like what?" he asked. His hand had started to revive and his thumb was now rebelliously drawing circles on Sebastian's back.

Sebastian shook his head, giving him a tired smile. "I don't know" the boy said, truly.

Kurt's insecurity made him imagine the worst case scenario. He gulped. "Is that… a bad thing?" he asked, tentatively.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at him, amused. "Of course not, idiot" he answered bluntly.

Kurt sighed, relieved. "Well, you're not giving me many clues" he defended, playfully. "And I'm a worrier" he joked.

Sebastian squeezed Kurt's side. "It was great, gayface" he said suggestively, coming slightly closer to Kurt. "I always suspected you'd be quite something in bed" Sebastian told him cockily, grabbing his hips. "The way you move _these_ – damn." He wetted his lips, cheekily.

Kurt looked away momentarily, trying to hide his blush. "Oh" he made, self-awareness coming back. Getting a bed-compliment from someone as experienced as Sebastian was not a small deal. "You had never had a hip-shaker then?" Kurt joked, shyly.

Sebastian smirked, his hand now moving from Kurt's hipbone to Kurt's arm. "Not just that, though" the boy admitted then, biting his lip. He looked unsure for a moment, and Kurt wondered if he was failing to get him, because there was a glint of struggle on the way Sebastian frowned.

Kurt wouldn't allow that – to have Sebastian looking insecure. With a courage Kurt didn't know he had, he came closer to Sebastian and wrapped himself around his torso, where Kurt placed a long, innocent, kiss. Sebastian's muscles felt somewhat rigid at first touch.

Sebastian's hand came tentatively to rest on his hair, where it began to stroke. Kurt broke the kiss with Sebastian's torso, and rested his cheek against it. "It was different for me too, meerkat" Kurt conceded, struggling to find the right words to say that he might be feeling just as overwhelmed. Kurt felt Sebastian's muscles relax a bit at that, and he couldn't help but smile.

"Different how?" Sebastian asked, that vulnerable tone the boy had when he had just woken up making a comeback.

Kurt dug up his head and placed it on the pillow again, though he didn't lose his wrap around Sebastian's upper body. Kurt wondered how far he could go. After all, he had just asked Sebastian the same question and the boy had been evasive. And it wasn't that Kurt was feeling like being evasive too – it was that he feared there might be a line he shouldn't cross just yet.

"I don't know if that's fair" Kurt decided, giving Sebastian a small smile. Sebastian casted him a knowing one, like he knew exactly what Kurt meant. "But I'll tell you anyway" Kurt added, pushed by that invisible force that always made him want to be as brave and honest as Sebastian, even though the boy wasn't acting like that right now. Still, something told Kurt that Sebastian was just not used to this kind of intimacy – just like Kurt was not used to Sebastian's rough, suggestive talk and touch before.

Sebastian's expression turned expectant, putting Kurt out of his inner monologue. Kurt cleared his throat, nervously. He might have resolved to speak his mind, but that didn't mean it'd be a road of roses. "Well," he started, biting his lip, "it was… quite a mix, you know?" he asked, rhetorically, and judging by Sebastian's eyebrow he wouldn't get a nod anyway, "I mean…" Kurt babbled, his eyes distracted by the tiny freckle of Sebastian's nose. Sebastian run his fingers along Kurt's cheek then, making Kurt look right into his eyes. There was a kind, patient smile there. "I felt like- my body could explode any moment with… want" Kurt let slip, feeling almost compelled to tell Sebastian. "It was almost dangerous" Kurt explained, half-jokingly, smiling briefly, "but I also felt… incredibly safe so…" Kurt sighed, feeling awkward. "I'm not making any sense, am I?"

"It's the effort that matters" Sebastian chuckled, but the boy wasn't mocking him, Kurt realised.

Kurt covered his face, embarrassed. "Oh, God, why did I even open my mouth?" he lamented, blushing badly.

Sebastian brought him closer, laughing quietly, and shook off Kurt's hands to make contact with his nose. The boy definitely had a thing for biting that spot.

Kurt sighed, giving up. "Okay, look… this is gonna sound incredibly shallow, but… I don't think I've ever enjoyed myself so much during… _it_" he admitted. _There_, he thought relieved.

Sebastian casted him a surprised look and smiled cheekily. "Is that so?" the boy asked, cockily, moving his thigh slightly higher towards Kurt's crotch, and it could have been much higher if Kurt hadn't stopped him.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I knew you'd take it that way" he said, pinching Sebastian's chest. Sebastian pinched him back and they chuckled stupidly, until their muscles remembered them the tired state in which they were. "Anyway, can I tell you something?" Kurt asked, even if he knew he didn't need to.

Sebastian nodded, looking curious.

"I've always had this- _stupid_, really stupid idea that sex was only crazily good in people's imagination – or porn" he added, chuckling quietly. "I mean – sex with Blaine was great, don't get me wrong…" Kurt smiled awkwardly. _Why am I mentioning Blaine?_ "But I used to have this dirty, little secret fantasy" _Oh, wait, why are you telling him this? _Kurt thought, amused and embarrassed at the same time… But Sebastian's pupils dilated at the mention of _dirty_ and _fantasy_ so… "In which I'd be married someday, live in a big house…" Kurt deviated briefly, then cleared his throat, "but anyway, one day I'd have an affair with the gardener, you know? Like in _Desperate Housewives_, and it'd be crazy, great, porn sex… only because it'd be only physical… you know what I mean?" he asked then, animatedly, but unsure if Sebastian would be following him.

"You mean… you thought you could only have great sex with a stranger?" Sebastian asked, amused.

"Exactly" Kurt responded brightly, glad that he hadn't lost Sebastian in that stupid story. "And the thing is… well, that I was wrong" Kurt added, tentatively now. This was the hard part. "You're not a stranger, and it wasn't only physical, and- yet…" he stopped to shallow down the nod on his throat.

"It was good, crazy, porn sex?" Sebastian asked, chuckling now cheekily.

Kurt looked away, visibly embarrassed. _Well at least I'm saying what I feel…_ "It was the best I've ever had…" he said, shrugging, trying not chicken out now. He felt Sebastian's hand on his side then.

"I'm really flattered, Kurt" the boy said, getting back Kurt's attention. Kurt looked at him, insecurely, but relaxed a bit. "And I'm definitely not gonna forget that any time soon" he assured Kurt, giving him a genuine smile. "Wanna hear my reasons now?" Sebastian added, rubbing his hand along Kurt's side.

Kurt simply smiled.

Sebastian gulped and bit the inner part of his mouth, looking much less cocky now. "I had heard people say that- sex might um-" the boy scratched his neck, uncomfortably, "make you feel closer to someone" he explained, locking eyes with Kurt briefly, then looking away again, "but I had never experienced it – until now, that is" Sebastian finished, going mute and rigid.

Kurt observed him, but the boy didn't look at him. His hand felt kind of inert on Kurt's skin. And Kurt was feeling kind of motionless too. Here he was, talking about 'crazy, porn sex' and Sebastian about 'feeling closer' to him. Had they switched bodies or something?

"I guess sometimes people's notions are not that wrong" Kurt joked, to break the tension, mostly.

Sebastian side smiled, shrugging. "Sometimes" he conceded, looking at Kurt again.

Kurt giggled. "Is it too late to add 'bonding' to my _poor_, very poor list of adjectives 'crazy, good, porn'?" he asked jokingly, though he kind of meant it.

Sebastian came over him, predatorily. "I'm corrupting you, huh?" he asked, all awkwardness gone.

Kurt chuckled. "I'm afraid so" he admitted, playfully. "I'm also afraid I might be softening you" he whispered jokingly, scratching Sebastian's arm.

"Huh" Sebastian made thoughtfully, pretending to be pondering it. "I wonder how many times I can make you say 'oh, Bas, this was definitely the best sex I've ever had'" Sebastian mimicked him maliciously, although it wasn't as mockingly as it was suggestive. Two seconds later, Sebastian was nibbling Kurt's neck. "Let's see…" he whispered against the skin.

Kurt felt a chill down his spine, suddenly remembering they were both still naked. "Bas – I'm gonna need more fuel" he lamented, amused. "Then you can get me there 'warm' and 'ready' again" Kurt was surprised to hear himself say. Sebastian groaned against his neck.


	21. Chapter 21

Thank you everyone for reading and reviewing ^^ it really cheers me up :)

So... this chapter is unsually angsty. I really don't like angst, but the story demanded it at this point. It won't last long, since I think it'll be only a few more chapters before the fic is finished, sadly.

I hope you enjoye it anyway! Sorry if I make some of you suffer x) I suffered writing it too.

P.s. I don't own glee.

P.s.2. I don't have much time to write anymore. So this chapter is a little shorter than usual. Sorry!

* * *

Around 10 p.m., Kurt knew he would be spending that night over Sebastian's too. It was quite refreshing, spending a whole day in bed with such a great lover, even if it was only physical. But Kurt knew it wasn't. Sebastian had admitted himself that it wasn't. So… what was it?

Kurt was not even sure how he had managed to keep a straight face when Sebastian told him that having sex with him had made him feel somewhat closer to Kurt. It wasn't only about a statement of such kind, but about the boy who made it. Sebastian. The same guy that used to get extremely serious when Kurt opened up to him. Well, maybe 'used to' was a strong expression, considering that everything had barely started two months ago.

Kurt wanted to scream and tell the world how crazily happy those words had made him feel, but he'd keep it for himself for now. He'd scream once he was home, safe and sound on the privacy of his curtains.

There was only one very particular issue Kurt hadn't been able to bring himself to talk about to Sebastian, and that was Blaine. For starters, the fact that Kurt knew Sebastian had met Blaine, acted strangely and failed to mention it. And, to continue, the fact that Sebastian was aware now that Blaine knew about Kurt and him. Yet, the issue didn't come up.

Every time Kurt tried to approach the subject, they ended up somehow joking or making out. Well, that happened mostly with almost everything they talked about, to be fair.

Yet it seemed to Kurt like he needed to talk about it. Something inside him kept telling him that he needed to tell Sebastian how little Kurt thought about Blaine lately. But why? Would Sebastian even care? And what would that imply, that Kurt thought about Sebastian instead? What if Sebastian didn't like that?

"Why so serious?" Sebastian asked him, closing the bathroom door behind him. It was almost midnight, and his briefs were the only clothes Sebastian had worn all day. It was quite a pleasant view, to say the least.

Kurt startled, realising he had let himself go a little too far by his inner monologue. He smiled at Sebastian. "I was thinking about this summer… and Lima" he said – that could not be considered a lie. Kurt was certain that somewhere in between his doubts he had thought briefly of his new job at Vogue. And also, Blaine and Lima walked by the hand.

"What about it?" Sebastian asked, laying down on the bed again.

Kurt looked at him surprised. "Oh – I believe I haven't told you yet" he stated, cheerily. Sebastian raised an eyebrow, suspiciously. "I got my Vogue job back" Kurt told him excitedly, patting Sebastian's forearm. "Well, not exactly my old job, but… I'll be at Vogue again!" he repeated, equally excitedly. Who cared about the details, right? Kurt wasn't delusional – he knew he'd have to work real hard to get back to where he was when he had to leave Isabelle's wing.

Sebastian casted him a bright smile. "Not even the best sex you've ever had can beat that, right?" he joked, cheekily.

Kurt slapped his forearm again. "I regret _so_ much telling you that" Kurt lied, his smile giving it away.

Sebastian chuckled quietly, grabbing Kurt's hands to stop him from slapping him. "Seriously, though – congratulations, gayface" Sebastian said, locking eyes with him.

Kurt felt a shiver, locking eyes with those emerald piercing ones. It didn't matter how kind Sebastian could be, there was always a slight glint of fierceness on them. Maybe that was not a bad thing. It simply meant Sebastian had a strong nature.

"Thanks" Kurt side smiled at him, then observed his hands, which were still trapped by Sebastian's. "So – that basically means I'm not going back to Lima this summer, which just feels _so _good, you know?" Kurt ranted, "Not awkward encounters with Blaine" Kurt let slip, intendedly, but Sebastian didn't blink, "not lame coffees at the Lima Bean… and above all" Kurt stopped to create suspense, "I'll have the loft all for myself!" he giggled amused, then sighed, happily imagining the next two months with no roomies around.

Sebastian smirked, his eyes turning darker, "Is that an indecent proposition?" he asked, suggestively, while his hold on Kurt's hands got loose.

Kurt chuckled amused. "Oh, don't flatter yourself" he said cheekily. "This is _my_ summer" Kurt emphasised, jokingly. And there was some truth to that. Kurt was finally feeling like he was on the way back to himself, if that made any sense.

Sebastian pretended to be outraged. "Cute, real cute" he protested amusedly, letting go of Kurt's hands.

It took Kurt two seconds to be all over him. He scratched Sebastian's upcoming short beard. "Meerkat…" Kurt said softly, observing Sebastian's perfect features. "You know? Sometimes I find myself struggling to remember what was the whole 'meerkat' thing about and I cannot quite place it" Kurt commented, distracted by the calm expression Sebastian's face had acquired. The boy had closed his eyes, relaxed by the touch of Kurt's fingers on his throat. "You look nothing like a meerkat."

Sebastian snorted, his whole face moving and his lips adopting the curve it was needed for a chuckle. "Well, thank you, Kurt" the boy said amused, looking right at Kurt now.

"You're welcome" Kurt replied smiley, playing along.

"Well, this is awkward" Sebastian said then, scratching his neck and casting Kurt a condescending look, "but you actually do have a gay face" Sebastian added, bursting out laughing just two seconds later.

Kurt punched Sebastian's ribbons somewhat resented, then looked away and pouted, half-jokingly. "Jerk" he bit back.

Sebastian grabbed him from behind, bringing his hands to stroke Kurt's torso gently. "Shh" Sebastian made, still grinning from the laughter. Kurt tried to get rid of his hands but Sebastian held him tighter. Plus, his strokes were too simply too good and Kurt was only human. "I was kidding, babe" Sebastian said, close to Kurt's ear. "Plus, if you did have a gay face, then I'd be the one who liked it, wouldn't I?"

Sebastian's breath was all over Kurt's neck, and Kurt couldn't contain a shiver. Sometimes his body had a funny way to react towards arousal. Sebastian planted a not-so-innocent kiss on Kurt's cheek then. It lingered.

Kurt's hands were suddenly over Sebastian's forearms. He hadn't planned on that, but once he placed them there, there was no way to take them back – his fingers had started to feel Sebastian's skin.

Sebastian broke the kiss. "You're _my_ gay face, okay?" the boy asked, and there was something about his reassuring tone that made it all about the _my_ and not about the suggestive peck he had just given Kurt – at least that's how Kurt saw it.

"Okay" Kurt consented more cheerily than intended, but he relaxed a bit between Sebastian's arms anyway. "I guess I don't really mind that" he added, letting himself go by Sebastian's strokes.

"Mm, of course you don't" Sebastian whispered somewhat suggestively, more mouthing than kissing Kurt's cheek now. "You like me too much to complain" the boy stated cockily, and there was something about that statement that just unsettled Kurt. What was it? _Oh, right_; that it was completely true. Still it made him feel vulnerable that Sebastian knew that much. Then again, was Kurt doing any attempt to hide it?

Kurt couldn't help but get a little rigid. His fingers stopped and just held tightly Sebastian's forearm. "What are your plans for the summer?" he asked instead, changing the subject and totally killing the mood.

Sebastian's hands stopped too and his breathing became quiet. "I don't know" he said first, honestly. "Europe, I guess" he said casually. Kurt rolled his eyes for himself – yeah, everybody's regular holiday was a freaking trip to Europe.

"I really envy you" Kurt lamented, but squeezed Sebastian's arm affectionately – it was his way to let the boy know that everything was okay and he could keep caressing Kurt's torso, if he still wanted. "Europe. Wow. Someday I'll be able to afford that too" he joked.

Sebastian's hands restarted its rubs, but they moved from Kurt's torso to his waist, and its touch became more affectionate than suggestive. "Someday you'll even be paid to go there" Sebastian said, with an incredulous tone. Kurt was surprised to notice that the boy wasn't mocking him – actually, he had stated it like it was obvious.

"Why?" Kurt asked, not following.

"Um, Paris? Fashion?" Sebastian asked rhetorically, amused. "Aren't you supposed to know about that stuff?" the boy joked.

"Oh" Kurt made, puzzled. Not because he hadn't thought of that – but because Sebastian had. The boy seemed to think Kurt would even be paid to go there. Wow. "That's very kind of you" Kurt said, tentatively. "But I'd be lucky enough if they let me be the coffee guy" Kurt added, feeling awkward.

Sebastian slapped his waist, playfully. "If that's how you already picture yourself, sure" the boy said, and Kurt realised Sebastian was telling him off for not dreaming big. It was kind of cute.

Kurt giggled quietly. "You're right" he conceded. "They'll be lucky enough to bring _my_ coffee" Kurt said, even if he didn't believe that. "And one day I'll randomly meet you in Saint-Tropez, where you'll be taking a break from filming some modern, classy French independent movie, right?" Kurt played along.

"Been there" Sebastian said, cockily. "Saint-Tropez is not that great. Santorini, maybe" he said casually.

Kurt slapped his forearm. "Don't brag, meerkat" he said, and Sebastian chuckled against his neck. Kurt stroke Sebastian's arms.

"I'd like to spend some weeks in the city first before taking off, though" Sebastian added, after a few, quiet minutes. Kurt's heart skipped a beat. "I feel like I haven't even properly seen the city, you know? It's so big and… busy" Sebastian commented, resented, and Kurt's hopes deflated like a punctured balloon.

Kurt sighed. "Yeah – I've been here for two years now, and still haven't even seen Chinatown" he joked. He was _totally not_ picturing Sebastian and him going sightseeing together. _Not at all_.

"I'll let you know if it fits in with my schedule" Sebastian told him playfully, biting Kurt's nose.

Kurt had to bit his lip not to grin like an idiot. Then he giggled. "I remember one day I tried to make Blaine come with me, but he's just so scared of little Asian kids. He's watched way too many horror films" he laughed now. Sebastian snorted, amused.

"Speaking of…" Kurt added fast, taking the chance to finally bring up the subject. "I saw him the other day" Kurt said before he could back down.

"Oh" Sebastian made, uninterestedly. Kurt gulped, nervously, and turned around slightly to face Sebastian, without breaking their hold.

"Yeah, and- well, that's actually why I've been a mess this week" Kurt explained bitterly. "I didn't want him to hear about us from someone else, so… We met, and- well; let's say he wasn't very understanding" Kurt said subtly, giving Sebastian an awkward smile.

Sebastian's façade turned inexpressive. Poker face-like. Kurt observed him, frowning. Why was Sebastian's reacting coldly again?

"What did you tell him, exactly?" Sebastian asked straight ahead, tone unaffected.

Suddenly their hold felt somewhat forced. Kurt was taken aback by Sebastian's attitude.

"Not much" he answered honestly, trying to read Sebastian's eyes. "Just that… _this_ happened, and- well." He looked away, unsure.

"Kurt" Sebastian said then, getting his attention. "His reaction was quite understandable" the boy stated. "You shouldn't have told him" he said, breaking the eye contact.

"Why?" Kurt asked quickly, puzzled.

"Because you don't inform your ex-boyfriend of every single hookup you have" Sebastian explained, somewhat exasperated, like that seemed uncomplicated to him. "Much less if the hookup is me, but even if it wasn't – you just don't. It's not that important, and he doesn't need to know."

Kurt trembled – not visibly, but on his inside. _It's not that important?_ He wondered, bitterly. Sebastian's words made him feel like he had overthought and taken things out of proportion.

"I wasn't aware there was some sort of universal way to proceed with these things, or something" Kurt disagreed, looking away. "But that's not how I handle things" he defended, regaining himself. Blaine had been both his boyfriend and best friend for three years. To Kurt's mind, the boy deserved an explanation. Much more if the guy was Sebastian – someone he knew. "Maybe we don't share the same view here."

Somewhere in between that, they had broken the hold.

"The same view about what?" Sebastian asked, somewhat lower, but they were close enough to catch every word the other said.

Kurt had to meditate that. The same view about relationships, or about what they, Sebastian and he, had? "About relationships" Kurt answered, locking eyes with the other boy again. "I still want Blaine to be my best friend. Being honest with him, though painful, it's a must if I really want to maintain that friendship" Kurt explained, hoping Sebastian would get him. Kurt accepted that Sebastian was entitled to have his own opinion on the matter… but he would not be lectured by someone who 'didn't do relationships'. _Come on_.

Kurt looked at Sebastian's eyes, and, for a moment, he felt even pliant. Why did he want Sebastian so desperately to agree with him? Didn't he enjoy Sebastian's fierceness when sticking to his points? Well, maybe not so much when it was about Kurt's choices.

Sebastian sighed, reluctantly. "Kurt" he started, placing his hand on Kurt's shoulder, "look, it's not that you don't have a point" he said, nicer but still somewhat detached. "But I think you're being naïve. I think both Blaine and you are gonna need more time to get back to that point. Meanwhile, you're both entitled to play around. Trust me, everyone does it. It's a given. So you really didn't really have to tell him about your hookups-"

"Would you stop calling yourself just 'a hookup'?! And quit the plural" Kurt cut him, annoyed, "you know I'm not seeing anyone else and I don't intend to" he added, unable to stop himself.

Sebastian looked slightly shocked. Kurt sighed. Okay, so he had taken it off his chest, but now he had screwed it up.

"I'm sorry" Kurt mumbled, a few seconds later, rubbing his temples. He couldn't bring himself to look at Sebastian. "I'm so embarrassed- I don't even know why I screamed at you" he ranted.

Thankfully, Sebastian caught his hands, uncovering Kurt's face, and that simple contact put Kurt's whole body at ease. "It's okay… being annoyed, you know?" he commented, kinder than before. Kurt looked at him, grateful, but he couldn't quite see Sebastian behind the cold emeralds yet. Something was off.

"Bas, I- um…" Kurt whispered, knowing this was the moment to come clean. He preferred honesty to this strangeness. "Although I was unnecessarily high-pitched, I meant what I said. It shouldn't come as a surprise, should it?" Kurt asked him, and wondered if that was sincere enough. "I mean… I like you" Kurt added, looking right at him.

Sebastian scratched his own neck, visibly struggling. Thankfully, he had stopped looking indifferent, but he looked uncomfortable instead. Kurt felt like an idiot. Somehow, he had come to think that he would never make Sebastian feel uncomfortable with his own skin.

"Please don't say you respect that" Kurt added, before Sebastian could say anything. "That would suck even more" he joked, bitterly and looked away.

"You know I like you too, Kurt" Sebastian said then, cupping Kurt's chin with his hand. "We're just… we're overthinking things. Way too much" the boy casted Kurt a tentative smile, running his thumb over Kurt's chest, gently.

There was nothing Kurt wanted more than to end the tension. "I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable" Kurt sighed, coming closer to Sebastian. Something told him he was backing down somehow, but… did it really matter when he was centimetres away from feeling Sebastian completely again?

Sebastian rubbed Kurt's arms, gently. "Kurt, it's okay" he repeated, smiling genuinely now. That smile meant the world to Kurt, who leaned into the touch. "What are you apologising for?" Sebastian asked, sort of rhetorically, because then he came forwards and placed a long, soothing kiss on Kurt's cheek.

Kurt felt a warm wave invading his insides, and closed his eyes momentarily, feeling Sebastian's lips closed on his cheek. "I don't even know" Kurt admitted, closing his eyes and forgetting about the world. But Sebastian was right. Kurt shouldn't apologise for disagreeing with Sebastian on something. "How do you manage to be so wise, meerkat?" Kurt asked him fondly on a whisper, timidly running his hands along Sebastian's sides, then he kissed somewhere around Sebastian's neck.

Sebastian hummed against Kurt's chest, wetting it now with his mouth. "I'm really not" he said suddenly, breaking the contact and looking into Kurt's eyes.

Kurt casted him a disbelieving smile, then stroked Sebastian's hair. "I beg to differ, sir."

Sebastian puckered his lips while he studied Kurt's expression, resting his chin on Kurt's chest. "Sometimes it amazes me- how fast you forget that I'm a jerk" the boy said then, slowly, but honestly.

Kurt narrowed his eyes at the boy, and his hand froze on Sebastian's hair. He looked away, taken aback. "I don't. I just think you're not a jerk" he defended, his tone somewhat low.

"But you used to think I was" Sebastian replied, sarcastically. Kurt locked eyes with him then, and wondered where this was coming from. That bitter look on Sebastian's cold eyes.

"I did" Kurt admitted, more regained now. "That was before I got to know you better, Bas" he explained, tentatively moving his fingers again to comb Sebastian's hair.

The boy shook his head and made an almost imperceptible snort. "You got me right the first time, Kurt" he said, bluntly. "Maybe my sexual skills are somehow clouding your judgement."

And there it was again; the coldness between Sebastian's eyes. Kurt felt a sting of pain threatening him to pierce his chest harshly. Sebastian wasn't kidding; he really thought he was a jerk and, just like any time the boy was making a point, he got somewhat fierce. But the worst part was that he had somehow implied that Kurt's only interest on him was physical.

Kurt startled a little, and wondered if trying to talk Sebastian out of it was really the best idea. Sebastian jumped off him then and laid beside him instead. His eyes didn't look bitter or harsh anymore, though. He just looked conflicted. Kurt tried to lock eyes with him but he looked away. Something was going on with him, all of a sudden, and Kurt was failing to figure it out.

Kurt decided he would give himself no longer than five seconds to react. No matter how frozen he was feeling right now, he would order his body to do something, because one of the most wonderful days he had ever had was suddenly turning dark, and he needed to stop it.

So he did; he turned to Sebastian's side, and timidly placed his hand the other boy's hipbone, ordering his thumb to stroke Sebastian reassuringly. "You're my jerk, then" Kurt said eventually, and when Sebastian looked at him, Kurt casted him a side smile. Thankfully, Sebastian returned it.

The boy turned to Kurt's side too, and faced him completely. Whatever the strange phase the boy had just gone through, it was over now. Not because Sebastian wasn't feeling conflicted anymore (Kurt could still see it in his eyes), but maybe because the boy was just too tired to fight Kurt's affection. Kurt didn't mind that.

Kurt acted instinctively and grabbed the sheets to cover both Sebastian and him. Then, he came closer and caressed Sebastian's face.

He wanted to feel closer to Sebastian. To tell him how much the boy meant to him. And how he had started to like him long before they had sexual relations. But Kurt's mind was blocked. His body, instead, seemed to be able to express it better. His lips captured Sebastian's cheek then, on a long, soothing, gentle kiss. Kurt felt Sebastian's body reacting to him, getting looser, peaceful. Then Sebastian capture Kurt's hands with his own and held them tight, his thumbs giving soft strokes.

Kurt made the mental resolution to tell Sebastian someday. Sometime soon. One day he'd give a damn about repercussions and would tell the boy how much he was worth it. Just tonight Kurt wasn't feeling brave enough. He had Sebastian on his arms now and there was no better feeling in the world. He wouldn't risk to lose that.

/

Kurt knew something had changed. There had been only a day since he left Sebastian's apartment, but he could feel it on his bones that something had happened to Sebastian on their last night, and Kurt had failed to stop it from happening, being left alone with a feeling of unbearable impotence.

He hadn't heard from Sebastian since then, and something told him he wouldn't in a while; that next time they met, it would be Kurt's doing.

Next Friday came along and the nod on Kurt's throat was becoming unbearable. Thankfully, the week had been quite busy and distracting. He had now officially finished his sophomore year at NYADA, and next Monday he'd be working at Vogue, so Kurt decided he couldn't let anything stop him from enjoying that. Theory was easier than facts, though.

Rachel had left for L.A. to work on that TV pilot and, although she would not admit it, to run from the feelings Sam had started to awake on her. She didn't need to tell Kurt that, he knew it and wouldn't stop her. Sometimes feelings could make you feel in danger, rather than safe.

Santana would leave next week, so it was only a matter of days before Kurt had to face this new turn his life was taking. He just hoped it didn't have to be without Sebastian.

Plus, dared he admit it? He was feeling hurt. He kept repeating himself that things couldn't be so simpler, but every time he remembered things had gone weird with Sebastian the same day they had finally had sex, he felt a wild, unpleasant tickle on his belly that made him feel cold and unsafe.

But Kurt would not acknowledge the hurt. Not yet, at least. That would be too dramatic, wouldn't it? It was only Friday, after all. And if Sebastian didn't call him, Kurt would. It was that simple.

Kurt spent all the afternoon just preparing for it. He showered, gave himself a hair masque, a facial masque, and a body scrub. He dedicated an entire hour to style his hair thoroughly, then another hour fixing his outfit.

At eight o' clock he cooked himself an elegant dinner, then calmly did the dishes and caught up with his DVR. It was still too early.

At half past nine, Kurt decided it was time to get dressed. Then he got to the fire escape and sat down. He took a deep breath and dialled Sebastian's number.

"Hello?" Sebastian asked, although his voice was hard to hear with all the noise and music that seemed to surround the boy.

Kurt frowned. Had Sebastian not checked the caller ID? "Hey, meerkat" Kurt greeted him cheerily, anyway. "What's up?" he asked, trying to sound casual.

"Oh- hey, Kurt" Sebastian greeted him, surprised – at least Kurt thought he sounded surprised, although the loud music was really getting in the way of his perceptiveness. "God, this is _so_ loud, I can barely hear you" Sebastian chuckled.

_I haven't talked that much_, Kurt thought, but shook the thought away. "Yeah, sounds like you're having fun" Kurt commented.

"I am" Sebastian agreed, cheerily. He sounded tipsy.

Kurt wouldn't let that discourage him to ask Sebastian to meet. It didn't have to be right now, so… yeah, he'd just let Sebastian know he was available. "So… um" Kurt started, nervously, "you wanna meet later? I'm also going out tonight" he lied, "maybe we could meet afterwards" he suggested. _Short and to the point_, he congratulated himself.

"Oh" Sebastian made, and that single sound told Kurt he wasn't delighted by his proposition. "I kinda have plans, _babe_" he said cockily, and that 'babe' made Kurt feel patronised. "If you know what I mean…" Sebastian added, chuckling idiotically.

The boy was definitely tipsy, but it hurt Kurt anyway. "Oh, right" he said, nervously. "I wouldn't want to hold you up, then" Kurt added, feeling bitter. "Have fun."

"I will" Sebastian said suggestively, then hanged up.

Kurt contemplated the cell phone on his hand. _Did that really just happened?_ He wondered, frozen. Then he observed his trousers, and his shirt, and felt ridiculous.

_What went wrong?_ He couldn't stop himself from wondering, that same unpleasant sting of pain piercing through his bones. Had he abused Sebastian's time? Of course he had, that had to be it. _Idiot_, Kurt said harshly to himself. He couldn't expect Sebastian to always be free and available for him, could he?

_Oh, God, I can't believe I'm being so stupid_, Kurt thought, and stood up, going to his living room. _What's wrong with me? When did I become so dependant?_ Kurt's train of thoughts became frantic. _Sebastian can do whatever he wants… __**whoever**__ he wants_, Kurt added, bitterly. _So can I, so can I… why can't I want to?_

_What's wrong with me, why can't I want to do other people?_ Kurt wondered, looking at himself on the bathroom mirror. He saw a tear running down his cheek, and contemplated it shocked. _Why am I crying? God, I'm such a baby_, Kurt told himself off. He undressed with ungentle movements, throwing his clothes away with anger, then got into the shower.

Maybe if he showered again he would feel less ridiculous. Like the whole thing never happened. Like he had never spent a whole afternoon preparing himself to see Sebastian.

Kurt turned on the hot water and let it fall upon his stupidly styled hair. He let his face be watered then, and soon enough the water drops mixed with his tears. Then, he couldn't hold it any longer, and sobbed. Kurt rested a hand on the wall, feeling suddenly dizzy, and sobbed again. This time, he let himself cry and finally acknowledge the pain.

_I'm hurt_, Kurt admitted to himself, and something decompressed on his lungs. _There's nothing wrong with me. I'm entitled to feel hurt_, Kurt repeated like a mantra, trying to calm himself down.

_I'm hurt because of Sebastian_, was his next thought. Once he let himself feel, his thoughts became uncontrollable. More genuine. Truer. _Sebastian has hurt me_, Kurt finally admitted, and strangely enough, thinking that made him feel relieved. Not because he liked that, but because he was finally being honest with himself. _Sebastian is not ready for what I feel. I am_. _He's not_, Kurt's inner monologue continued as he grabbed a bottle of gel and wrapped his soaped hands around his body, trying to wash away the loneliness he was feeling.

He did his hair after that, and took a few deep breaths. _I let myself go recklessly. I had this coming_, Kurt lamented, letting the water fall all over his hair again. _Santana was right. Sebastian doesn't get what my cheesy bullshit is about_.

He stepped out of the shower and wrapped himself around his long sized towel, hiding also his head on it. _It was a matter of time. I just didn't want to see it_.

Kurt put his pyjamas on and snuggled up to a blanket on the couch. _Sebastian doesn't feel the same. God… why did I think he did?_

More than hour passed, and Kurt remained still on his position, contemplating the turn-off TV and letting all of his thoughts run freely over his mind, until he felt physically unable to keep feeling miserable. He got up and served himself some ice cream. When he came back to the couch and saw his cell phone, an idea occurred to him. A crazy, desperate idea. _Andy_.

Kurt didn't even want to get dress right now. But he needed to feel better. First Blaine, now _this_… He really needed to stop giving himself to people like that. His heart would not be able to endure more pain. He needed to let himself be comforted. It didn't matter how. Or by whom.

Kurt grabbed his phone and started typing.

**To Andy (11:13 p.m.): What are you doing tonight?**

Kurt wasn't feeling like overthinking. That should be direct enough.

He sighed and observed his puffy eyes reflected on his cell phone screen. _That's enough, Hummel, _he told himself. He continued eating.

**From Andy (11:21 p.m.): Heading over Seb's with a couple of friends. Not party, though. Want me to pick u up on my way there? ;)**

Kurt had to read the text four times until he got it straight. _Sebastian's. Not party. What?_ Sebastian had definitely sounded like he was out partying. That had been two hours ago, though.

But that was not the main issue. The main issue was that Sebastian had made it sound like he was getting some tonight. Andy's text was confusing.

**To Andy (11:27 p.m.): I don't think I'm in – I'm on party mode lol. What's the plan, though?**

Kurt read it and hit 'send', pleased with his own text. Andy didn't need to know that he was on his PJs and didn't have the slightest interest to party tonight. _Nope_.

**From Andy (11:31 p.m.): Oh, that's a pity :( u sure? Just some videos for theatre club.. let me know if u change ur mind.. or wanna meet later ;)**

_Huh_. Had Sebastian lied to him? Or changed his plans? Either way, Kurt felt a weight lifting off his lungs, then his shoulders. How could he find out for real?


	22. Chapter 22

Thanks guys for R&R :) or just reading! thanks for sticking around!

Soo... I think the story is coming to an end, sadly. Probably two, three more chapters, maybe four - for fluff purposes haha. I hope I'll make justice to these two!

P.s. I don't own Glee! That could be catastrophic, actually.

* * *

"And then…" Kurt said while going through his cell phone, looking for the last text Andy had sent him. "Then, he sent me _this_" he handed over his phone to Santana, who read it carefully.

Okay, so maybe having roomies around was not the worst thing ever. Quite frantically, Kurt knew he was gonna miss it during the summer.

Luckily, that Friday night around 1 a.m., Santana had got home. And Kurt really needed someone to talk to. Besides, Santana's cold objectiveness, though harsh, was always appreciated in the end.

"Well?" Kurt asked her, eagerly. "It doesn't make any sense, does it?" he asked suspiciously, waggling his eyebrows.

Santana puckered her lips. "Maybe Sebastian is doing Andy" she commented, straightforwardly. Kurt winced.

"No way" he said. From all the possible explanations, that had never occurred to him. "I've seen them together. They don't like each other" Kurt told her, narrowing his eyes.

"Right, 'cause you _so_ liked Sebastian at first" she said maliciously.

Kurt casted her a bitchy glare. "Would you pay attention? Andy said he was going with some friends!" Kurt told her off, annoyed.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Okay" she said reluctantly, "but I'm not discarding that just yet" she added. "Maybe Sebastian's booty call bailed on him" she smirked.

"And he had the decency not to call me as a second best, mm" Kurt pondered it. Though equally hurtful, that could be it. He bit the inside of his mouth, doubt consuming him.

"You still think Sebastian just made it up, don't you?" the girl asked, folding her arms.

Kurt gave her an awkward smile. "You think I should dig on this? Find out for real?" he asked instead, with a bitter excitement.

Santana stood up and shook her head. "I think you should let it be, Kurt" the girl went to the kitchen, then grabbed a beer from the fridge. "You want one?"

"Not really" Kurt winced at the beer. He had eaten his weight on ice cream that night. He didn't like Santana's response, though. "Let it be? Oh, boy" he said, throwing back his head against a pillow, desperate. "How could I let this be? Even if I wanted to?"

Santana sat again on the armchair. "Well, for starters, you focus on your new, awesome Vogue job" she stated, and Kurt was surprised that the girl would actually give him some suggestions. Though it sounded more like commands. "Then, you realise what an _amazing_ summer you have in front of you" she continued, and Kurt doubted for a moment if maybe he should be writing it down.

Santana's expression got suddenly harsher. "And finally, you stop whining like a desperate, lame lady and grow a pair of boobs, get out there and embrace that you're single for the first time in forever and guess what? That puts you in an awkward position, you know why?" Kurt shook his head, somewhat scared of how quickly Santana's switch could snap. "Because that means you don't even remember what it's like to be the one looking out for yourself, and probably you stopped working on that a long time ago" she stated, then pointed a finger at Kurt. "Stop thinking men and love can somehow save you, and start working on yourself a little more. You sure need to" she finished with a disgusted face.

Kurt couldn't even swallow down. He'd need some time for that to sink in. Funnily enough, Santana's words didn't hurt him. They triggered something inside him instead.

"That might be… true" he conceded, but felt unable to lock eyes with Santana. One step at a time. "I might've neglected myself a little."

Santana snorted. "Might, might've…" she rolled her eyes. Kurt glared at her. "_It is_, and _you have_ – call things by its name."

Kurt sighed. "Fine" he admitted reluctantly. They fell in silence.

"Now" Santana broke the silence, with a tentative tone. "This is what you do about Sebastian-"

"I thought I didn't have to do anything about Sebastian" Kurt cut her, irritated.

Santana frowned. "Don't be stupid, Kurt. Of course you do something about Sebastian" she said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Kurt narrowed his eyes at her, confused. "You can start taking care of yourself and also do something about him, can't you? – I mean it's not excludible. Or can't you do two things at once?" she asked, maliciously. "The slut is up to something, that's for sure" she stated, getting Kurt's attention.

"Okay" Kurt said, slowly. "So… I don't let it be, do I?" he asked, to make sure he was following.

"Oh, no, you _pretend_ you let it be" she explained, tone full of attitude. "You take those things I just listed for you: your job, your summer, _yourself_ – and you keep yourself _so_ busy that you actually begin to believe that you matter more than him. It might take you some time, though…" Santana casted him a doubtful face, studying Kurt like he was a baby. "Anyway, during that time you don't text him, you don't call him, you don't exist on Facebook… you just _don't exist_ for him" the girl emphasised. "Give it a few weeks, and he'll be knocking on our door, desperate" she finished, taking the victory sip from her beer.

Kurt couldn't help but smile. Santana was a natural strategist. Then he remembered something.

"In a few weeks Sebastian will be in Europe" he realised.

Santana took another sip, and looked thoughtful. "Then he might be coming over sooner… asking for a quickie, maybe, before he takes off… and of course you'll have to shut him down, that's crucial" she thought out loud.

Kurt shook his head, tired of hearing nonsense. "Now you're just speculating" he said, and stood up.

"Right, because you never do" the girl said sarcastically.

/

Kurt would take Santana's advice, though. Not about the last part, where Sebastian would be coming over for a quickie. Kurt chuckled every time he remembered that prediction – Santana could not know Sebastian any worse. That was so _not _Sebastian's style.

But Kurt took her advice regarding the rest of things. He forced himself to go to Vogue on Monday full of sunshine and optimism. He couldn't tell Isabelle he was suffering from yet another heartbreak. What would that say about him? Maybe Santana was not so wrong. Kurt needed to start looking out for himself.

A few days passed and Kurt was surprised to see that things at Vogue weren't that different from where he left it. Meaning that he was practically doing the same job. And also, Isabelle wouldn't stop inviting him for lunch and dinner to classy places with classy people.

So yeah, life was not treating Kurt badly. Except that it was, because Sebastian had not given him signs of life yet, and Kurt felt a cold shiver piercing his chest every time his mind wandered towards the memory of them together. He struggled permanently to shake it off, and yet kept hopelessly waiting to hear from the boy. It'd been almost two weeks, but that wasn't a lot of time, _was it_? For all Kurt knew, Sebastian might call him that weekend, and Kurt might've be worrying over nothing.

Yet Saturday came along, and Kurt was alone on his couch. Santana had left two days ago, and Kurt's first days without roomies were turning out to be unexpectedly cold. He got a text from Andy which he read making a groan of complaint (for a second Kurt thought it might be from Sebastian) and then ignored completely.

Around 5 a.m., a noise woke Kurt up from a pleasant dream. He was lying on the couch with a blanket, surrounded by snacks and his collection of _The_ _Golden Girls_ playing on the TV. Since he was alone in the apartment, he had made it a habit to sleep on the couch. It made him feel less lonely.

Kurt woke up startled, not knowing where the noise was coming from, or if maybe he had just dreamt it. A few seconds later, he heard the buzzer. _That_ was the noise.

Kurt got up and pressed the speak-bottom of the buzzer, somewhat scared. It was freaking 5 a.m.! "Hello?" he asked, tentatively.

"Kurt?" Sebastian's voice asked, sending a tsunami through Kurt's body.

Kurt felt suddenly completely awake. "Meerkat?" he asked, puzzled.

"Hey, could you open? There's a creep staring at me from across the street and it's freaking me out" the boy ranted, agitated.

"Oh, yeah- sure, sure" Kurt pressed another bottom so the main entrance would open.

Then he observed the state of his living room and winced. "Crap" he made. He didn't even have time to clean up. Kurt brought a hand to his hair, full of despair, then realised his hair would not look any better either. "Oh, no."

But the doorbell rang then and Kurt jumped, startling again. Sebastian was only a few steps away from him, the closed door being the only distance between them.

Kurt took a couple of deep breaths. _What the hell_, he thought then, and opened the door.

"Hey" Sebastian made, somewhat contained. He was soaking wet.

"Oh, dear" Kurt made when he saw him. "Come in, I'll give you a towel!" he said, letting Sebastian in. "And some dry clothes too. You want a hot beverage? You must be freezing" Kurt ranted, moving nervously around Sebastian.

Sebastian caught his wrist to stop him. "I'm okay, Kurt" the boy assured him, a glint of amusement dancing on his eyes.

"Well, let me give you at least a towel" Kurt insisted, concerned. "And a sweatshirt, okay?" Kurt asked him wishfully, hoping Sebastian would let him help.

Sebastian side smiled. "Okay" he said, then let go of Kurt's wrist and followed him to his bedroom.

Sebastian noticed the bed unopened. "Were you sleeping on the couch?" he asked with curiosity.

Kurt scratched his nape, awkwardly. "Um- yeah" he admitted. "I fell asleep watching the TV" he admitted, locking eyes with Sebastian.

Sebastian's eyes looked smiley and kind, though tired. Kurt lowered down his eyes to Sebastian's lips and realised then that the boy was casting him a genuine smile. An uncontrollable leak of warmth spread over Kurt's insides. He smiled back and they just stared at each other, frozen-like.

Kurt cleared his throat when the silence got to thick. "Here" he said, going to his drawer and taking some clothes and a towel. "Oh, maybe you'd like to shower?" Kurt wondered out loud.

"The towel is fine, really" Sebastian said, taking it from Kurt's hand.

"And the sweatshirt" Kurt insisted and passed it over to Sebastian too. "Your clothes are soaking wet, Bas" Kurt told him, with a demanding tone. He wouldn't have on his conscience being the cause of a cold. "Some sweatpants too" he murmured, while looking for them on his drawer.

Kurt heard Sebastian chuckling behind him, and shook his head. "Put these on too" he told the boy with a serious tone. Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"Yes, ma'am" the boy joked. Kurt ignored it and Sebastian started undressing himself.

"Oh, wait, I'll give you some privacy" Kurt said, feeling sort of dumb, since he had seen Sebastian completely naked more than once.

"Don't be silly" the boy said, and continued undressing. Kurt sat on the bed then, and had to summon upon himself all the self-control in the world not to observe Sebastian.

They both remained silent while Sebastian changed his clothes.

The boy finished and grabbed the towel, which Kurt took as his cue to get up.

"Thanks" Sebastian told him, and Kurt locked eyes with him again.

"Oh- don't mention it" he said kindly with a small smile, then exited the room.

Kurt started putting some order on the couch so they both could sit and soon enough Sebastian was helping him. Kurt observed him from the corner of his eye, and a thousand questions popped out on his mind.

Once they were done, he pointed to the couch for Sebastian to sit.

"So… um- how you've been?" Kurt asked, awkwardly.

Sebastian seemed distracted drying his hair with the towel, but he answered anyway. "Fine enough."

Kurt nodded, and bit the inside of his mouth, not knowing what else to say. He looked away too and realised the TV was still on. He grabbed the remote control and turned it off. He didn't need Sebastian mocking him for watching _The Golden Girls_.

"What about you?" the boy asked then, and Kurt couldn't really tell if he sounded interested or not.

"Also fine, I guess" Kurt responded coyly, then realised he was being equally evasive. "First week back at Vogue successfully completed" he added, jokingly.

"Good" Sebastian smiled, throwing Kurt the towel. "Hair successfully dried" the boy said amused.

Kurt caught the towel and threw it to the armchair. "Good" he said back.

They stared at each other in silence, for half a minute or so. Sebastian looked really tired, Kurt noticed. Why was he there, then?

And, also, _why _was he there? Just to stare at Kurt in silence?

Kurt sifted on the couch, nervously. "Did your car break or something like that?" Kurt asked, trying to figure it out discreetly.

Sebastian frowned. "No, it didn't" the boy replied, then casted Kurt a suspicious yet amusing face. "Why?"

"Oh, I don't know" Kurt said, sarcasm mode on. "I was just trying to figure out what could've made you come by at 5 in the morning without a warning" he said casually.

Sebastian snorted. "Mmh, yeah… I guess an explanation would be nice, wouldn't it?" he said cheekily, coming slightly forward and resting a hand on Kurt's knee.

It was weird. It was just the tinniest gesture, and the boy had done it a thousand times, but somehow it felt new.

Kurt played along, sarcastically. "Oh, it certainly would, yeah" he bit his tongue, trying to contain a chuckle.

Sebastian bit his lower lip, pretending to be thoughtful. "And it should be now, shouldn't it?" he teased.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "Yes. That's when it should be."

Sebastian chuckled then, quietly. "Okay, I guess that's fair" he admitted, more honest now. He squeezed Kurt's knee and looked suddenly coy.

Kurt wasn't feeling like helping him, not really. So he decided he would say or do nothing.

Sebastian puckered his lips then and gulped. "I guess I just missed you."

Kurt shivered, equally moved and confused. He searched for Sebastian's eyes, but it took Sebastian a few seconds to return the look. When he did, Kurt felt as vulnerable as the boy looked.

"I missed you too" Kurt whispered, breathing somewhat agitatedly.

Sebastian breathed out and his face lightened up. Next thing Kurt knew, Sebastian was on top of him and Kurt was laying on his back. Sebastian kissed Kurt's cheek intensely – Kurt could feel his energy, his need. Like he had been containing all that warmth for too long.

Kurt held Sebastian tightly and kissed him back where he could find skin – his jawline, for example.

Sebastian kissed him on the lips then, wanting but carefully, without teeth or tongue. They were barely taking a hold on each other, Kurt noticed, as if they needed to make contact and picked it up where they last left it.

"I really missed you, Kurt" Sebastian whispered against his neck, mouthing the skin mindlessly. Kurt could tell the boy was already feeling more confident again; his movements less careful now and more knowing as Sebastian held Kurt's sides and stroked them with his hands.

"Bas, I-" Kurt started, but he wasn't feeling too brave. He had missed Sebastian's warmth too badly.

"Shh" Sebastian cut him, kissing his lips again, sweetly. "Let me take care of you" the boy said against his lips, then rubbed his nose against Kurt's.

And Kurt's body wanted to relax between Sebastian's arms so bad… So did Kurt himself, but Sebastian's choice of words rang a bell. _Take care of you_… _Wait_, wasn't Kurt supposed to be the one taking care of himself now? Santana's words echoed within his brain.

Kurt broke the kiss and sat slightly on the couch, grabbing Sebastian's shoulders gently. "I- I- need to- we need to talk" Kurt mumbled, catching his breath.

Sebastian looked at him taken aback, somewhat sad for a brief moment. _Sad?_ But it was gone just two seconds later, replaced by a tired expression. Kurt observed him, waiting for him to sit up too, but Sebastian stroked Kurt's chest then, soothingly. "Kurt, listen to me – I'm leaving tomorrow" the boy said, confidently.

Kurt wasn't sure he was following. "Tomorrow? Where to?" That didn't make any sense. Wasn't Sebastian supposed to spend some weeks on New York before taking off?

"France" Sebastian added quickly, not missing a beat. His eyes were piercing Kurt's, and something felt extreme all of a sudden. Intense. Final.

Kurt looked around, letting that sink in. "O-kay" he said slowly, "I still think we need to tal-"

"I'm leaving _tomorrow_, Kurt" Sebastian cut him, the pressure of his hands impossibly tighter now. "_Tomorrow_" he insisted, with a firm, fierce voice. Then, he studied Kurt's eyes for a brief moment, as if to make sure Kurt was following him now, and resumed kissing his neck.

Kurt startled, but felt unable to stop Sebastian. He could take a hint. Sebastian's fierce and intense words meant there was nothing to talk about. Sebastian was leaving tomorrow and he didn't want to talk. He didn't want to hear whatever Kurt wanted to say.

Santana's words kept haunting Kurt: _he might be coming over sooner… asking for a quickie, maybe, before he takes off… and of course you'll have to shut him down, that's crucial…_

Kurt felt powerless. Dumb, even. He let Sebastian's lips kissed his skin while his hands soothed him. Kurt rested still, defeated.

His mind was so far away from there, so out of it… He even started picturing alternate scenarios, in all of which he'd act braver:

"_So- this is it?" he would ask, bitterly._

_Sebastian's lips would close against his throat then, uncertain. The boy would dig up his head and say: "What is it?" Pretending not to follow._

_Kurt would say: "You're leaving, and you don't wanna talk… When you come back in a couple of months, who knows if there'll even be something to talk about." Kurt's voice would be trembling at first, but then it'd become surer, stronger, as he would feel some proud courage emerging from within himself. Because he would know then that he would finally have started to look out for himself._

_Sebastian's eyes would probably widen; the boy would be perplexed. Then he'd retrieve himself from above Kurt and sit slightly. He'd say, nervously: "What do you wanna talk about?" _

But none of that happened. Kurt surrendered and let Sebastian have him. He wasn't even sure if he was enjoying it, but he couldn't bring himself to react.

Sebastian started to undress him, gently, kissing every inch of skin he left uncovered. Then Kurt observed the boy undressing himself, and he couldn't even raise a hand to help him.

As simple as that, they were both naked now on the couch, and Kurt was feeling cold. He shivered.

Soon enough, Sebastian stopped kissing his chest, and rubbed his own forehead against the spot, visibly frustrated.

The boy sighed. "I shouldn't have come, should I?" he asked Kurt, though it sounded slightly rhetorical.

Kurt covered his eyes with his own forearm. His mind, his senses… everything felt heavy and thick. He felt like he was on a trance. "I think so…"

Sebastian looked at him then – Kurt could feel his eyes on him, but he just couldn't return the look.

Sebastian shook Kurt's arm away and forced Kurt to stare at him. "Help me out here, Kurt" the boy said, tiredly. In fact, he looked exhausted.

Kurt's body instinctive reaction was to caress Sebastian's face then, out of concern. "How many hours you've been awake?"

Sebastian closed his eyes at Kurt's touch, and sighed again. "Too many" he admitted. "It's been a rough week" Sebastian murmured.

Kurt came forwards then and kissed Sebastian's forehead, unable to stop himself. "Let's go to bed" he whispered, then grabbed Sebastian's wrist and took him to his bedroom.

Sebastian just nodded and followed him, not fighting it.

They got in bed, completely naked, and Kurt covered both of them, bringing the covers to the height of Sebastian's chest. Sebastian grabbed his hand then, and looked right at Kurt.

Kurt was slightly exiting his trance, and felt more self-aware now. He returned the look, and gave Sebastian a small smile.

"I'm tired too" Kurt said, squeezing the hand that was holding his.

"Okay" Sebastian returned the small smile.

"Can I hold you?" Kurt asked then, probably a side effect of his trance – or so he would think later. "It seems like you need it" he explained, feeling weirdly brave.

Sebastian's expression got surprised, and suspicious, and cheery all at once. The boy simply nodded, and turned to the side, his backside now facing Kurt.

Kurt came forwards and placed his arms over Sebastian's sides, his hands resting on the other boy's belly. Sebastian rested his arms above Kurt's then, and Kurt decided to take a hold on those strong forearms. He stroked them, his thumb drawing small circles on its skin.

Finally, Kurt rested his nose somewhere around Sebastian's nape, and kissed it. "Good night, Bas."

"Night, Kurt" Kurt heard on a whisper.

/

Kurt woke up four hours later, around 10 a.m. His hands rested directly on the mattress, on a spot where Sebastian's torso used to rest. He looked around, unsettled, wondering where Sebastian would be. Then, he saw a note on his nightstand that he didn't recognise at his.

_My plain leaves early and you look too peaceful sleeping. I wish you the happiest of summers. Take care of that gay face and remember it's mine. _

_S.-_

Kurt had to read it at least three times until the words sank in. He wouldn't see Sebastian for the next two months. He suddenly felt nauseous.

/

Sebastian's early departure left Kurt with a thousand questions burning on his mind. The first one being why the boy had decided to cut short those weeks he said he'd be spending on New York.

Something told Kurt it looked a lot like running away. But how could he know? Besides, that was judging prematurely.

On a second but not less prominent place, there was question number two: Why hadn't Sebastian wanted to talk? It would've helped Kurt understand a lot of things. But mainly, it would've given Kurt the chance to tell Sebastian how he felt about him, even if it was quite obvious, to Kurt's eyes.

But maybe it wasn't to Sebastian. After all, the boy had in fact accused Kurt of being wooed by Sebastian's sexual skills. So it was becoming an impending need to tell him how wrong he was. And, above all, how he wasn't a jerk. That was crucial for Kurt.

And let's not forget about question number three: Why had Sebastian acted so weird since their last night together? Why had he lied to Kurt, in the night of Andy's texts?

Those were three _whys_ already, and all of them seemed to point towards one conclusion: Sebastian was not ready for Kurt's… _love_? Kurt wasn't sure, but it was either that or that Sebastian wasn't simply that into him. And Kurt might've inclined towards the second if it hadn't been for that visit at 5 a.m. when Sebastian had never looked more vulnerable.

So Kurt was now forced to struggle with these questions on a daily basis, while he kept appearances at Vogue. Which, by the way, was proving to be a good distraction. A happy one, even.

He really wanted to take Santana's advice to heart, and to focus on himself, all the more since the latina girl's last prediction had sadly become true: Sebastian looking for a quickie on his last night. _How very cliché, God_, Kurt kept wincing. And yet Kurt suspected that was not what their last night together had been about, but… only time would tell.

Kurt's inner monologue ended abruptly when his cell phone started ringing. Thankfully, he was on a lunch break. He checked the caller ID: Sam Evans.

"Sam?" Kurt asked, somewhat confused. They really didn't talk that often, sadly.

"Hey, Kurt" the blond greeted him cheerily. "_What you up to_, dude?"

"Not much" Kurt admitted, contemplating his sad little salad. "Lunch break."

"Me too, bro – so listen, it occurred to me, are we the only ones left in the city for the summer?" Sam asked then, intrigued. "Burt told me you got your Vogue job back, dude – that's _so_ dope" he sounded genuinely glad for Kurt, and Kurt felt a smile creeping up his lips.

"Why, thank you Sam" he kept his salad on his bag and decided he needed a hot dog. "I didn't know you were still here, how did that happen?"

"Gigs keep coming, Kurt. Everyone wants a piece of _this_" Sam joked and Kurt chuckled, truly, for the first time in weeks.

"Oh, Sam, I _so_ want a piece too" he joked himself. "We should have dinner together" Kurt suggested.

"Yeah, that'd be awesome" Sam agreed. "I'll be done by seven – see you at your place?"

"Sure thing" Kurt replied cheerily, while he paid the guy who handed him a tasty hot dog.

/

It turned out Kurt wasn't that eager to live alone. At least no when he was feeling so utterly lonely. So having Sam around every now and then was proving to provide him with a missed feeling of family. To quote Sam's words, they had been brothers for a while, after all.

They mainly had dinner together, sometimes at Kurt's, sometimes at Sam's, who was living alone too in Mercedes's place (which made the boy feel somewhat uncomfortable since they were no longer together).

Soon enough, when Kurt realised they were spending most of the nights at Kurt's, he decided to invite Sam over for the rest of the summer – that way they wouldn't have to be constantly moving, and they'd keep each other company.

It wasn't like they were besties all of a sudden, but it felt like home, somehow. Even if they didn't have that much in common, they did have in common having their families and friends away.

"So… Rachel's coming this weekend, did she tell you?" Kurt asked Sam one night, watching American Next Top Model – one of the few TV shows they could both agree on watching without a fight for the remote control.

Sam casted Kurt a suspicious look. "No" he said, then took another bite of his pizza slice. "We haven't talked in a while" the blond commented.

Kurt frowned. "You haven't?" he repeated, rhetorically. "But you guys are close, right?" he asked, uncertain.

Sam shrugged. "We haven't always been close" he said, casually. "We were for a while, during your senior year, you know?" Sam asked Kurt, unsure if Kurt would be aware of that. "I mean, that was when Rachel and Finn were engaged. She was always around, dating Finn and all" he explained, and Kurt contained a chuckle, since there was no need to explain him that – he knew the details. "But then not so much when you guys moved to New York" the blond said, eyeing his pizza and giving it a new bite. "I think she literally forgot I existed" Sam wondered out loud, with an expression of curiosity in his face.

"Oh, I don't think she did, Sam" Kurt interfered. That was a sad thing to say. "She just… got a little lost with all the Finn and Brody drama" Kurt remembered, chuckling when picturing Brody as a gigolo.

"Hey, I'm not saying it was a conscious choice" Sam defended. "I'm not offended or anything" he assured Kurt, shrugging again. Kurt had to believe him. The boy was too good natured to be offended. "Anyway, I think we kind of reconnected again when… you know, when… when- Finn died" Sam added nervously, and scratched his neck, uncomfortable.

"It's okay, Sam… I don't think I ever say it out loud, to be fair" Kurt commented, giving him a side smile.

Sam returned the smile. "Neither do I" then bit his lip. "It's kind of sad, isn't it? It's like Finn's the only thing that's brought us close now and then, you know? It's not the first time I notice this" Sam told Kurt, looking down at his pizza.

Kurt bit the inside of his mouth, not really knowing what to say. He hadn't never looked at it like that, so it took him a little aback. But Sam looked conflicted, so he needed to say something _like_, right now.

"You know, I don't think that's a bad thing" Kurt told him, reassuringly. "I think that actually makes you one of the few people that can actually get her… you know what I mean?" Kurt asked, hoping Sam would believe him.

Sam still looked kind of down. The boy had stopped eating. "Yeah, maybe" he agreed, nonetheless. He looked thoughtful for a few seconds, then said: "I just- I feel weirdly protective of her" the blond boy said, struggling with his words. "Ah… I don't know" he sighed. "I can see how lonely she feels, and sad, and- I just don't know what to do to make her feel better" Sam said on a rant, looking frustrated.

Sam's raw, real honesty was sort of new to Kurt. But he could perfectly see now why Blaine had found a best friend on him.

"That's great, Sam" Kurt assured him, but Sam shook his head. "No, listen- hey, it is" Kurt continued, clearing his throat so his voice would sound firmer. "Don't be so hard on yourself. Rachel's dealing with her pain at her own rhythm – all she needs is her friends to stand by her, and that's what you're doing. You can't take her pain away – and neither can I. But we can love her… that helps" Kurt suggested.

"I wish she didn't have to go through that" Sam said on a low voice. "I mean, I wish none of us had" Sam quickly dried a tear from his cheek and bit his lip. "I miss him so much, Kurt" the boy said, looking away.

Kurt froze, swallowing down the incoming nod on his throat. "So do I" he whispered.

"Oh, man" Sam dried another tear and sifted his position on the armchair, but he sounded slightly amused now. "He would _so_ kick my ass for having so many thoughts about her girlfriend" Sam joked, although he was actually still crying. "'Cause I'm having 'em, Kurt" he looked at Kurt then, with an almost comical expression of concern. "I have _those_ kind of thoughts about Rachel… you know" the boy bit his lip, embarrassed, and looked away.

"I know" Kurt said, giving him an understanding smile. "And I think she does too" he added, to calm Sam down.

Sam's expression got suddenly shocked and pale. Like he had just seen a ghost. "What…? You think?" he asked, perplexed.

Kurt suddenly felt a tickle on his belly. Was he going too far? "Um- I mean, she hasn't actually told me anything, you know… I just think so" Kurt added, timidly.

Sam chuckled then, nervously. "Dude! You scared me!" he said, then focused his attention back on his pizza. "Of course she doesn't" he shook his head, amused. "Anyway, it's just thoughts, you know? You can't help them" he shrugged. "If I could, I wouldn't have them, you know?" he added, chuckling. "But I've got it under control" he assured Kurt, seriously now.

Kurt chuckled too. "Okay" he said, since it looked like Sam was waiting for his approval.

They fell in a pleasant silence.

"Hey, what about Sebastian?" Sam asked, all of a sudden.

Kurt puckered his lips, distractedly. "What about him?"

Sam threw him a cushion. "Dude! I think we were talking!" he protested. "You know? From bro to bro" Sam said, encouraging him. And the boy looked truly interested.

Kurt wasn't used to have a "bro dude" actually asking him questions about his _gay_ love life. Emphasis in _gay_, since that kind of talks used to make Finn and Puck somewhat uncomfortable, to Kurt's amusement.

"Okay, jeez" Kurt threw Sam back the cushion and chuckled. "I-" he started, but then he realised he didn't really know where Sebastian and he stood right now. "I mean, he's in France now" Kurt settled for the basics.

Sam nodded. "Do you guys talk?" he asked, moving funnily his face, to inquire Kurt. "Or skype?"

Kurt had to chuckle again. "Oh, no – not at all" he said. Sam casted him a confused look and Kurt realised there was actually nothing funny about that. In fact, it was kind of sad. "I don't really know, Sam" he admitted, bitterly. "Things got a little weird right before he left" Kurt murmured, studying his salad.

"Oh" Sam made, casting Kurt a sorry look. "How weird?"

Kurt was finding hard to put his thoughts into words. He knew how he was feeling, and how things had been between Sebastian and him. But having to tell someone made him realise how hard he'd been avoiding the subject.

"Weird as in… I think he's scared of his own feelings" Kurt said, even though he had never phrased it that way on his mind before. "And I should be the one being scared, you know? I mean, I'm the one who just ended a three year relationship, right?" Kurt asked rhetorically, but Sam nodded along. "It should be me, since I still ache a little from Blaine… but somehow it's not. And I just can't tell him that" Kurt ranted, exhausted, then threw his head into his hands, hiding it between them. "Every time I say something remotely daring, or cheesy, he just reacts so coldly."

Kurt locked eyes with Sam. The boy looked like he was having a hard time processing all that information. "Oh, God – I'm sorry I ranted like that" Kurt apologised, chuckling. "I guess I haven't had someone to talk to in a while" he giggled awkwardly.

"Don't apologise, man – it's totally okay" Sam said, nodding exaggeratedly. Still Kurt smiled at him. "I mean… he should grow a pair, right?"

Kurt giggled again. "Exactly" he agreed. Then thought it better. "You know, lately I've grown obsessed with telling him that he's not a jerk" Kurt said, and Sam had to narrow his eyebrows at him. "Yeah, he has a thing for calling himself a jerk. And a cheap ass" Kurt explained, because suddenly he wasn't feeling like shutting up.

"Oh?" Sam made, unsure.

"Yeah" Kurt agreed. "_Oh_ indeed" he sighed, amused. "It's just a defence mechanism – that's what it is" Kurt kept going. "People assume he's an ass, so he prefers to claim himself as it before anybody else can" Kurt rolled his eyes. "But he's not. And he doesn't believe me" Kurt bit his lower lip, harshly.

"Man, I don't know, but…" Sam started, taking Kurt out of his incoming inner monologue. "Sounds like the guy has some self-esteem issues" he said understandingly, and took another pizza slice. "Oh, I'm gonna have to work out so hard tomorrow" Sam said, contemplating the slice.

Kurt observed him at awe. _Exactly_. How could he have not thought of that before? _Look at Sam_, Kurt said to himself. According to Blaine, the blond boy had some severe body related self-esteem issues even though he had a great body and liked to show it. Just like Sebastian liked to show and claim himself as an asshole even though Kurt had learnt he wasn't.

"Sam, you're a genius" Kurt let slip, putting down his salad.

Sam was still making eyes at his pizza. He looked at Kurt then, confused. Then shrugged and sank his teeth into the slice.

Kurt stared at his cell phone, standing on the table. _No, Kurt, no. _He looked at the TV then, and ordered himself to focus on the show. His eyes wandered back to his cell phone, though.

Half an hour later he couldn't take it anymore. He started writing a text, but erased it every time he finished it. He wrote the eighth one, and stared at it, distractedly. Sam asked him something then about a participant that wouldn't stop crying on the TV show. Kurt pressed 'send', before he could regret it.

**To Sebastian S. (08:46 p.m.): Stop thinking about me! :P**

* * *

P.s.2. After reading this chapter... would any of you guys be interested in a Samchel spin-off? I can't stop picturing their parallel storyline on this fic... It'd be a Samchel fic, but with some Kurtbastian, just like this fic included some Samchel... anyone'd be up for that?


	23. Chapter 23

Thanks everyone for R&R!^^ It keeps me going with this fic :)

Don't worry! I won't start the Samchel spin-off until I'm finished with this fic. Plus, I'm participating on NaNoWriMo on November and I won't have the time for Samchel anyway. So my goal now is to finish this Kurtbastian fic on October :) you can rest easy! hehe

P.s. This turned out to be incredibly long and full of twists. I hope it's not angsty, but sometimes it just happens even when you don't want to!

P.s.2. I don't own Glee.

* * *

Kurt had to go to bed with the utter feeling that Sebastian had ignored his text. He kept checking his cell phone until his eyes could no longer bear being open.

A few hours later Kurt got this text from Sebastian.

**From Sebastian S. (04:37 a.m.): You miss me like crazy**

Of course, Kurt wouldn't read it until he woke up for work. Damn time difference.

_Of course I do_, he thought, fondly_. Wait. Doesn't that scare the shit out of him?_ Kurt wondered. But he was too thick to think clearly. Morning was definitely the worst part of day to text someone. His grumpy morning mood could totally play him, so Kurt decided to give it a few hours.

He went on his morning like he normally did. Coffee for Isabelle, some errands and attending phone calls and website requests. Lunch time came unnoticed, and soon enough he was on the subway, on his way back home, when he realised he hadn't replied Sebastian yet.

_Oh, wow_, Kurt thought. He would've never thought he'd so absorbed that he'd literally forget about the world. Vogue was doing that for him, and it felt great. Santana had been right: it'd just taken some focus on himself to actually start thinking he mattered more.

Kurt got home and saw a note from Sam: late night shoot. Kurt felt somewhat thankful, since he really needed some time to think of some witty comeback for the text. Which he just couldn't do.

After a few minutes he realised it didn't have to be witty. It just had to be his! But nothing came up anyway. He started typing nonsense.

'_of course I do'_

'_you got me begging you for mercy' _Kurt blamed his iPod.

'_get your ass back on a plane'_

'_I miss your warmth'_

Then he remembered something.

**To Sebastian S. (07:43 p.m.): You make one hell of a human covers, of course I do ;)**

Okay, so not exactly witty. But he was tired! Kurt made himself comfortable on the couch and devoured his sandwich while he turned on the TV to some random reality show.

This time he didn't have to wait long for Sebastian's response.

**From Sebastian S. (07:51 p.m.): Well, someone's gotta keep marble warm… How you manage not to freeze without my burning heat around is beyond my understanding**

Kurt chuckled. Okay, _that _was a witty comeback. He better shaped up.

**To Sebastian S. (07:58 p.m.): I like it when you call me 'marble' :) but I'm missing some gay references to my face here… are you that out of your game, meerkat?**

Kurt smiled pleased at himself and finished his sandwich.

Of course he missed Sebastian, and his warmth. _God_, suddenly a wave of melancholy took over him. He got up and poured himself a glass of wine. Then snuggled up to a blanket and nervously eyed his cell phone every now and then.

**From Sebastian S. (08:05 p.m.): Don't provoke me… the things I'd do to you if I was there**

_Ups_. Kurt was briefly shocked (he hadn't been told things like that for weeks). Then he realised he clearly had triggered Sebastian's predatory side. Soon enough the shock was over and a glint of arousal tickled his throat.

**To Sebastian S. (08:09 p.m.): Like what**

Oh, that was too short. _Dammit_, Kurt thought. _That sounded desperate_, he mentally slapped himself.

He took a long sip of wine.

**From Sebastian S. (08:11 p.m.): Like mouthing your trembling, pale body. Restlessly. Mm, I know some of your sensitive spots… would you cooperate this time?**

Kurt had to put the blanket away and took another sip.

Yeah, he hadn't been exactly participative last time. But he'd had his reasons...

In fact, he still did. Damn right he still did. Kurt shook his head, annoyed at how easily he could forget sometimes.

**To Sebastian S. (08:15 p.m.): I might have to consider it… would you be willing to talk to me?**

_I'm totally killing the mood_, Kurt thought. But he was getting tired of things being expressed physically between them. Sometimes words were needed.

Plus, Sebastian's voice was kind of one his favourite sounds in the world. And Kurt loved the way the boy expressed himself (when he did).

Really, was it really too much to ask? Their bodies would only get them so far. Kurt needed more. _Sebastian_ better shaped up, not him.

**From Sebastian S. (08:19 p.m.): … Tease. What do you call this, if not talking?**

Kurt rolled his eyes. _Don't play dumb, Smythe._

**To Sebastian S. (08:22 p.m.): Dirty talking, that's what I call it. Emphasis on 'dirty'.**

_I'm not giving up that easy_, Kurt thought. For Christ's sake, he just wanted to talk! Was it that hard?

But once he gave it a second thought… what was he doing? Sebastian was in France. It wasn't like they could talk through texts, or phone. Kurt wanted to talk in person.

Maybe he needed to let it be.

**From Sebastian S. (08:25 p.m.): You're gonna be the end of me. We'll talk when I see you, okay?**

Kurt lips immediately curled up and adopted the shape of a smile. _Finally_.

**To Sebastian S. (08:29 p.m.): :)**

Okay, it was a vague promise, made via text. But Kurt needed Sebastian to know that it was a good thing. That talking would be good for them. There was nothing to be afraid of. Kurt only had nice things to say, after all.

**From Sebastian S. (08:31 p.m.): Oh, just kill me already…**

Kurt rolled his eyes and couldn't help but wondering. It would be at least a month until they could see each other. A whole month.

Yet he needed to stick to his points. _I know what I'm doing_, Kurt repeated to himself. _I'm looking out for myself. For both of us_. He'd have to fight Sebastian a little – that was all.

**To Sebastian S. (08:34 p.m.): Jerk ¬¬**

**From Sebastian S. (08:40 p.m.): Whatever. I'm alone and horny. **

**From Sebastian S. (08:42 p.m.): And knowing you were touching yourself thinking of me would've been quite a nice, soothing image.**

Kurt couldn't help but smile again. How did Sebastian manage to sound sweet when he was actually being kind of smutty?

And, above all, how could the boy not know that he was all Kurt could think of? Intimately and… emotionally?

**To Sebastian S. (08:44 p.m.): … I do that every night, idiot**

_Did I really just send that? _Kurt thought, alarmed. The worst part was that he hadn't intended to sound dirty. He was actually trying to reassure Sebastian.

Kurt snorted. His mind process was getting kind of funny. What kind of way of reassuring someone was that?

**From Sebastian S. (08:46 p.m.): Aww. Good to know. :)**

_Idiot_, Kurt thought, chuckling. Seriously, these were the most awkward compliments ever. Sweet and dirty, all at once.

**To Sebastian S. (08:48 p.m.): You're disturbing.**

**From Sebastian S. (08:50 p.m.): And you love it. ;)**

Kurt had to bit his lip. Of course he did. In fact, he felt almost addicted to Sebastian's dysfunctional love displays.

_And what's wrong with that?_ He wondered. _Nothing, that is_. Then it occurred to him that Sebastian had wanted a mental image of him, Kurt Hummel, to feel less lonely and to ease his horniness.

Kurt couldn't be too sure that the boy hadn't already banged someone else. And Sebastian had every right to. But that didn't mean it didn't unsettle Kurt.

Kurt had a crazy idea then. He preferred Sebastian to be horny about him, even if that meant overcoming how awkward sexting made him feel.

**To Sebastian S. (08:52 p.m.): I do… okay, we can dirty talk if you want to :)**

Kurt chuckled then, already picturing Sebastian's surprise.

**From Sebastian S. (08:57 p.m.): As touched as I am that my gayface actually offered, I'm going out now. But knowing that you'll jerk off to the image of me tonight is priceless. I'll keep that in mind all night… ;)**

Kurt blushed furiously. _That's… cute_, he thought. Was he losing it? How could a text like that be cute? And yet it was. Maybe not for someone who didn't understand their dynamic, or who didn't get Sebastian. But Kurt got him. Kurt _so_ got him and loved what he saw.

Sebastian's sweetness was his kind of sweetness. Kurt liked it and couldn't help it.

**To Sebastian S. (09:03 p.m.): That was somehow sweet, I think. Or maybe I'm getting equally disturbing. Take care meerkat :) **

Kurt buried his head on the pillows and cursed. He knew now why he was screwed, why he had been screwed all along. He was in love with Sebastian.

/

A few days later, Kurt would be forced to think that the texting between Sebastian and him had been a one-time thing, even though he felt the need to talk to the boy all the time. Still Kurt knew he needed to learn some restrain.

Truth to be told, it had been easier to restrain himself and to focus on his own life right until those texts took place. Ever since, Kurt had realised what he felt for Sebastian was stronger than he had thought, and that terrified him.

And if it terrified him, how could not terrify Sebastian?

Thankfully Rachel came along that weekend, proving to be a good distraction. Her TV-show was on a hiatus and she had a few days break that she'd spread out between Lima and New York. What she didn't expect was to find a new roomie when she got home. So, naturally, she dragged Kurt to his bedroom with a dramatic expression as soon as said boy came back from work.

"When were you planning on telling me that now Sam lives here?" the girl asked frantically, pointing a finger at him.

"Oh… that" Kurt shook off Rachel's tight grasp on his arm. "It's just for the summer, Rach. We were both feeling a little lonely" he pouted.

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Don't pout! It doesn't look good on you" she bit back annoyed.

Kurt sighed. "Rachel, come on! What's the big deal? You don't even live here anymore!"

Rachel's jaw fell open with shock. "That's a very mean thing to say, Kurt Elisabeth" her finger dropped.

Kurt rubbed her arm. "Oh, honey, you're still my number one roomie, and this will always be your home… but you live in L.A. now" Kurt told her carefully.

Rachel looked away. "I know. It also gets a little lonely out there, you know?" she bit her lip.

Kurt hugged her. "Well, you're here now. And we're gonna have the absolutely most fabulous weekend ever" he said, once they broke the hug.

Rachel gave him a small smile. Sam peeked his head then into Kurt's room.

"Hey, Rach?" the blond boy asked, tentatively.

Rachel startled a little and looked at him.

Sam came in to the room. "So I just changed the sheets on your bed and did some cleaning…" the boy scratched his head, awkwardly. "It should be good now, I think."

"You mean… my bedroom?" Rachel asked, a little surprised.

"Yeah" Sam smiled, brightly. "Everything's just as you left it. I swear" he added, seriously.

"Sam…" she brought a hand to her chest, and gave him a fond smile. Kurt had to roll his eyes. "You didn't have to… I mean, I no longer live here" she said sadly.

"Oh, come on" the boy put an arm around her. "This whole place screams your name" he said, cheerily.

Kurt cleared his throat, loudly.

"And yours too, dude" Sam added, reluctantly. "I'll take the couch for a few days, it's no problem" he assured them both.

/

Time didn't seem to run fast enough. Kurt kept finding himself longing for the tiniest gesture from Sebastian, then pissed at himself for having always his mind wandering off like that. Rachel had been talking for two hours now and Kurt's attention was anywhere but on his living room.

_God, what's going on with me? _Kurt didn't want to be that dependant. He wanted to only depend on himself. But this wasn't some silly, temporary crush. Some rebound, as people had thought at first. Kurt knew what he was feeling was real, and what could he do if his feelings were that consuming? He was human, after all.

"Kurt, where are you?" Rachel asked him with an amused expression. "I just said I saw Gena Rowlands at the studio lot – Gena Rowlands! You love that woman. Granted, I just saw her on the distance, but I'm quite sure it was her" she said convincingly, and Sam nodded to back her up.

Kurt's bubble exploded. "You saw Gena Rowlands? The Gena Rowlands?" he asked, astonished. Rachel smiled brightly. "Oh, God, I hate you!" he chuckled. "Did you ask for her autograph?" Rachel looked down. "Anything?" the girl shook her head. "No?" Kurt asked, disappointed.

"She was getting in a car and I- I froze" Rachel admitted, then took a sip of wine. "Anyway, what's got you so out of it?" she asked again. Although Kurt hadn't heard it the first time.

"Out of what?" he asked, confused.

Rachel seemed exasperated. "Of here! God, you're not even listening to any of my anecdotes!" she protested dramatically. "I have tons" she told Sam, nodding for emphasis.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "I'm not out of-" he defended, but Rachel's 'cut the crap' expression made him back down. "Fine, I'm distracted, okay?" he admitted irritated.

"Okay" Rachel said, then eyed him suspiciously.

"He just misses Sebastian, cut him some slack" Sam told Rachel, innocently.

Both Kurt and Rachel looked shocked. "Oh" Rachel made, "right."

They fell in the most awkward silence ever.

"Who wants some ice cream?" Kurt asked, getting up abruptly.

"I do" Rachel said, relieved.

Sam got up. "I'll help you."

"Hey, you okay?" Sam asked Kurt on a whisper once they were preparing the ice cream bowls.

"Yeah" Kurt nodded almost automatically. What else could he say?

"You sure, dude? You looked kind of tense when I brought up Sebastian" Sam added, tentatively. "I mean, did something happen? You looked fine the other night…"

Kurt had to stop fidgeting with the bowls and the spoons and took a deep breath. "I- um… don't know" he said, giving Sam a tired look.

Sam patted his back. "You'll figure it out" he told Kurt, and Kurt couldn't help but remember the time Sebastian had said to him the exact same words right before Kurt made the decision to allow himself to feel whatever he was feeling. Ironically, the situation seemed similar enough. Just that this time, his feelings were more intense.

They made his way back to the couch, and Rachel waited no more to interrogate Kurt.

"Okay, I need a Sebastian-rehash. What did I miss?" she asked Kurt, intrigued.

Kurt casted her an awkward smile. "Not much, I think" he answered, evasively.

Sam snorted. "Sebastian's in France and they won't text or Skype" he informed Rachel. Kurt sighed, exasperated.

"Really?" Rachel asked, surprised. "I mean… on the other hand… you guys are not exactly dating, are you?" she seemed genuinely confused.

Kurt couldn't supress a chuckle. "It's confusing, isn't it?" he asked rhetorically, not hiding his bitterness.

"Kids these days…" Sam joked, making Kurt relax a little.

"We texted the other day" Kurt let slip.

"Uh-hu" Sam made, waggling his eyebrows.

"Well, don't look so happy, I started it" Kurt informed him, chuckling. "But it went well, I think" he said, his mind momentarily wandering off. Sebastian's last text had been just too... _sweet_?

"Oh my God, you're blushing!" Rachel accused him. "Oh, I don't even wanna know!" she laughed dramatically.

"Did you guys sext?" Sam asked, his jaw on the floor and looking genuinely interested.

"Oh, dear, no!" Kurt shushed them, blushing further. "We did not!" he assured them, but they wouldn't stop chuckling now. "I'm serious! It's just that Sebastian can be a little suggestive, sometimes…" he tried to explain. "Anyway, who cares? That was days ago. He won't text me again, and he won't be back till the end of August so…"

"Kurt" Rachel said suddenly, and when Kurt looked at her she was wearing Rachel Berry's signature bright smile. "I just had a great idea" she nodded, enthusiastically.

Kurt gulped. He loved the petite girl, but her ideas could be a little crazy sometimes. "What?" he asked, coyly.

"Okay, first of all: don't judge me, but I spend a lot of my time on Facebook lately" she admitted, looking slightly insecure for a brief moment. "But it's the only way I have to keep in touch with all of you, okay? And my dads, and the glee club… " Rachel ranted, until she realised none of the two boys were saying anything. "And by the way, do you even check Facebook sometime Kurt? Your wall is kind of dead" she said, making a face. Kurt rolled his eyes. He couldn't care less. "Anyway" she shook her head disapprovingly, "last month I friended Sebastian" Kurt's eyes widened with shock.

"Why would you do that?" he asked, glaring at her.

"Hey, don't look at me like that" Rachel covered her face, alarmed. "It's just Facebook, and he had been so nice to me with all the Funny Girl thing" she explained. _So nice_ was a little exaggerated, but Kurt couldn't blame her. Rachel wasn't used to people being remotely nice to her. "And let me tell you – he is always online" Rachel assured Kurt.

"What's your point here?" he asked, tiredly.

"My point is" she said, looking as confident as ever, and _dammit_, Rachel Berry's confidence was kind of contagious, "that you've been keeping such a low profile on the social media that he'll have no choice but to notice if you suddenly upload, let's say, some pictures" she suggested, lifting her eyebrow. "Okay, I haven't come up with a whole strategy just yet, but I'm just saying – you should make some noise!"

"Hu" Kurt made, scratching his chin. That rang a bell. On his second week at Vogue, Isabelle had made him pose with some jackets for a photography test. "I might have just the right material" he said, cockily. He just hadn't uploaded any of it because he was following Santana's advice to heart. Although he kind of had betrayed it when he texted Sebastian the other night… "Oh, but this is silly, Rach. What am I, fifteen?" he asked, sarcastically.

"Dude" Sam said, somewhat resented. "I upload my shoots all the time. I mean, not all of it, because it's like 500 photos looking just the same, but, well, you know" he explained.

"That's different, Sam" Kurt rolled his eyes. "You're not trying to get anyone's attention" Kurt said bluntly, then realised what he had just said. Who said Sam wasn't trying to get anyone's attention? Sam's blush definitely said differently.

"Mock my idea all you want" fortunately, Rachel was still on 'mission' mode, "but those things work. People are that simple" she said, and Kurt wished the girl just stopped talking, judging by Sam's even redder cheeks.

"Works for you, Rach?" Kurt asked, maliciously.

The girl looked taken aback. "I- I don't know. I mean- I guess. Works for everybody, I think" she admitted, suddenly very interested on a napkin.

Kurt sighed and threw back his head. Who did he want to fool? He was on a mission too.

/

Saturday night came along and Rachel wouldn't shut up about going to Callbacks. The brunette claimed to miss the place and promised all she needed was a song, then they could leave.

This time they were a majority of straights, so going to a gay bar wasn't exactly appealing, nor for Sam or Rachel. But Kurt wasn't exactly feeling like having that kind of night – he was simply feeling cheerier again.

Somehow, uploading those silly pictures to his Facebook page had acted like an adrenaline-shot-to-the-heart. Santana said it better: he could both take care of himself and do something about Sebastian, couldn't he? It was not incompatible.

And yes, Kurt might not want to admit this to anyone, but taking care of the Sebastian thing had made him feel better. _Sue him_. That didn't mean he was dependant… did it? _Oh, boy_, Kurt preferred not to think about that.

Anyway, they reached Callbacks and of course Rachel didn't settle for just one song. She demanded two solos and a few group numbers with both Kurt and Sam. Two beers later, Kurt was delighted.

He was heading to the bar searching for his third beer when one hand grasped his arm tightly. Kurt startled.

"Kurt?" Andy was standing right in front of him, with a pleased smile.

_Dammit_, Kurt thought. He was not even remotely happy to see the blond boy. Last time they "talked" (more like 'texted'), Kurt had asked him out. _Ups_.

"Andy, hey" Kurt tried not to sound too forced. "What are you doing here?" he frowned.

"Are you kidding me? I love this place!" the guy replied enthusiastically.

"Really" Kurt asked, but it was quite rhetorical. And suspicious. "Do you sing?"

"Not really" Andy shrugged. "But it's fun, isn't it? Plus, my friends do. I mean, you've heard Sebastian, haven't you?" he asked, in a confidante way.

Kurt felt a chill down his spine and got rigid.

"Seb- Sebastian?" he stuttered. "Is he- Is he here?" No, he couldn't be… _right?_

"Oh, no, no… he's in France" Andy said casually. "But he loves coming here."

Kurt frowned. How come he didn't know that? Plus, how come they had never come across each other here? Then it hit him. Kurt hadn't really come much to the place since "the Teenage Dream incident". What a terrible night.

"Oh. Right" Kurt made, awkwardly. "Have you… heard from him?" he asked tentatively, hoping really hard not to be too obvious.

Andy shook his head. "None of us have" his expression got thoughtful for a brief moment. "You know, actually- we've been all talking about him lately" he said, and Kurt's stomach got funny. "He's been acting kind of weird" Andy told him lowly, like it was not official.

Kurt saw it clearly. This was his chance to find out once and for all what the hell happened the night with the weird phone call.

Kurt tried to exaggerate his surprise, because somehow he wasn't surprised at all.

"Really? Wow. Weird how?" he asked, then had an idea. "Hey, you want a refill? We could sit in the bar and catch up… What do you say?" he asked with a soft tone, and casted Andy a cheeky smile. He was on a mission, after all.

"Sure!" Andy agreed, maybe a little too excitedly for Kurt's taste.

They reached the bar and sat on a couple of stalls. Suddenly, Rachel's voice filled the bar. She was doing a Celine Dion rendition, of course.

"Is that your friend Rachel over there?" Andy asked, pointing to the stage perplexed.

Kurt nodded and gave her a look, then realised Sam was standing right next to her on the stage, with a microphone in hand. Kurt's jaw fell to the floor. "And Sam" he added.

"Boy, can she sing" Andy seemed mesmerised. "See, this is why I'm bi, you know?" he asked Kurt, though it was rhetorical. "I mean… wow, she's outstanding."

Kurt couldn't help but smile. So Andy was bi… it seemed like Sam might have some competition… Then he shook the thought away and focused on his "mission" again.

"So, you were saying… Sebastian's being acting weird?" Kurt asked again, casually. "I mean… I haven't seen him in a while… Maybe even before the night you told me you were going to his place, I think" Kurt scratched his chin, thoughtfully. He mentally congratulated himself, though. Points for subtlety.

"Oh, that's long" Andy replied, still kind of distracted by Rachel. Thankfully, Sam chose that moment to join her, and the song became a duet. Andy pulled back his eyes from the stage, looking defeated. "Yeah, I mean…" Kurt could tell Andy hadn't heard much of what he had said. "One night he invites over to prepare a play – you know, saying he'd stick around for a couple more weeks in the city, then next thing I know the guy's leaving for France and doesn't even give us an explanation."

"Mm" Kurt knew that much. That much was not enough. "And he acted completely normal that night?" Kurt inquired, hoping he wasn't being too curious.

Andy didn't seem to notice. "That night? Oh, no, not at all" he chuckled, amused. Kurt frowned. "I mean, when we got to his place, the guy was so wasted we couldn't really work much."

Kurt couldn't help but find unnerving how Andy kept repeating "the guy" when referring to Sebastian. He had a name! For Christ's sake. And a beautiful one!

Andy continued. "I remember he wouldn't stop babbling nonsense about marble, I think?" Andy chuckled. Kurt got pale. _Marble?_ "And then, all of a sudden, this random guy appears knocking on his door, claiming they had agreed to meet on Grindr, and Sebastian kicks him out." Andy's annoying chuckle was starting to get under Kurt's skin. "_Crazy_ night" the blond boy added, then took a long sip from his beer.

Kurt wouldn't speak. Even if he had wanted to. _Grindr. Marble. Crazy_. Yes, crazy indeed.

"So…" Andy eyed him suspiciously after a few seconds. Kurt realised then he had worn an expression of silent shock for way too long.

"Hm?" Kurt asked, giving Andy a small smile.

"What's the deal with you two?" Andy seemed confused. _Get in line_, Kurt thought amused. "I mean, are you guys like… dating? 'Cause maybe I shouldn't have said anything. I mean, the Grindr guy looked nuts. Who knows if it wasn't just some creep, right?" he chuckled nervously. Andy clearly looked regretful, like he had just realised he had said too much.

Kurt shook his head, alarmed, and patted Andy's back. "Oh, no, no… rest easy – you didn't say anything wrong. It's okay" then he got up, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. "I think it's my turn now to hit the stage" Kurt commented, seeing as Rachel and Sam's duet was coming to an end.

"Oh, I wanna see that" Andy said, cheery. "But we'll catch up later, right?" he asked, wishfully.

"Right" Kurt lied.

/

Kurt woke up to an unpleasant buzz on his ear. It was his cell phone, buzzing on the nightstand. And judging by how brief it was, it had to be a text.

_Damn my light sleep_. Woken up by a silly text. It was 9 a.m.! And Kurt was exhausted. And hungover. Extremely hungover.

He grabbed a bottle of water from the floor and drank it all up. Then he checked his phone.

**From Sebastian S. (09:08 a.m.): You're trying to kill me or what**

Kurt frowned. What the hell was Sebastian talking about? Then Kurt's body got rigid. Sebastian_. Grindr. Marble. Andy. _Andy! Kurt turned his head to the side and felt a wave of relief running down his body as there was no one lying next to him. Thankfully, his bed was empty and unopened on the right side.

_Oh thank Gaga. _He sighed.

But _wait_. He did remember kissing Andy. Or hadn't it been Andy? It'd been a blond boy – that was for sure. _Oh, boy_, why did he get so wasted? _Sebastian_. Sebastian! The text message.

**To Sebastian S. (09:16 a.m.): Wht ar you taking abou**

Kurt's stomach was feeling funny. And pained. Oh, God, why did his body pain so much? He hadn't drunk that much… had he?

**From Sebastian S. (09:18 a.m.): The suggestive pictures you posted on Facebook?**

"Oh" Kurt made. Apparently people were _that_ simple. He had to give that to Rachel.

_Rachel. _Rachel! And Sam! What the hell had happened last night? Was Kurt delusional or had he caught them kissing?

**From Sebastian S. (09:20 a.m.): By the way, did you forget how to spell?**

Kurt didn't even have the energy to roll his eyes, so he just groaned and threw the cell phone away. He was not in the mood for that. Maybe not in the mood for Sebastian? _Ah_, he didn't know.

What was he so upset about? The Grindr guy? Was that even relevant? Sebastian had kicked him out according to Andy. _Andy!_ Oh, God, Andy.

Another buzz.

**From Sebastian S. (09:28 a.m.): Oh, come on. Have some humour. Did I mention you gave me an eyegasm, marble?**

_Marble_. Kurt shook his head, not sure if he found that funny or annoying. He was getting tired of the flirting. And the sexting. And the stupid, stupid arousal that seemed to gain over his body when it came to Sebastian.

Kurt needed to start listening to his heart, as cheesy as that sounded. He missed it.

He read the text again, and his eyes fell over the word 'marble'.

**To Sebastian S. (09:33 a.m.): When are you coming back?**

Kurt checked the text twice before sending it, just to make sure he hadn't made any spelling mistakes. _Annoying meerkat…_

**From Sebastian S. (09:35 a.m.): Is someone a little eager to see me? :)**

Kurt chuckled, imagining Sebastian's smirk. Needless to say, of course Kurt felt eager.

**To Sebastian S. (09:37 a.m.): It's just for the souvenirs, meerkat. I expect some silly T-shirt, or some fancy chocolates. I'm really not that exigent ;)**

Kurt got up, deciding to finally attend his bladder. That bottle of water was having its consequences.

He crossed the living room but blinked twice and even rubbed his eyes when he realised there was no one sleeping on the couch. Where was Sam? Should he be concerned?

Then his cell phone buzzed on his hand, making him startle.

**From Sebastian S. (09:40 a.m.): Mm what will you give me in return? **

Kurt sighed and scratched his head. Who was he trying to fool? His arousal would take the best of him as soon as he finally laid eyes on Sebastian.

**To Sebastian S. (09:42 a.m.): Am I not enough? :P**

Kurt's belly and bladder complained then at unison. He got into the bathroom, feeling dizzy.

_Damn beer… _Damn shots? He suddenly got a flash of a salty neck. _Wait, _had he licked that neck? He felt nauseous and kneeled down in front of the W.C. When he couldn't take it any longer, he threw up.

_Oh, sweet merciful Gaga, _what had he done last night? And with whom?

Another buzz.

**From Sebastian S. (09:46 a.m.): Of course you are :) See you in two weeks, marble.**

Kurt felt nauseous again, images of shots and Sebastian mingling on his head.

/

Later that morning, a very hungover Sam exited Rachel's bedroom while Kurt held his belly with true care on the couch. They locked eyes and Kurt's got wide. Sam blushed, and pointed awkwardly towards Rachel's room.

"That- was… I mean- that's not… it's really not what it looks like" the blond boy babbled, coyly.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled quietly. "I'm not judging."

Sam got alarmed. "Hey, there's nothing to judge! I swear!" he looked kind of overwhelmed. Kurt took pity of him.

"It's okay, Sam- really, you don't have to explain" he assured the blond boy, giving him a knowing smile.

"Dude!" Sam was not really listening to him. The boy looked freaked out. "We didn't sleep together! I swear!" he repeated, even more fervently this time.

Kurt got up, quite unsettled by Sam's frantic movements.

"Hey, hey, I believe you" he patted Sam's back and dragged him to the kitchen, to make sure his screams didn't wake up Rachel. That would be even more awkward, Kurt feared.

"Look, man – you weren't supposed to see me" Sam said, and Kurt couldn't help but frown now. "I mean…" the boy grabbed the coffee, nervously. "Rachel doesn't have to know I slept there. She would freak out!" Sam covered his face with his hands, alarmed again.

Kurt decided he would take care of Sam's breakfast. Coffee was not a good idea. The boy seemed nervous enough.

"How can't she know already, Sam?" Kurt asked, confused. The girl wasn't stupid.

"Because I told her I would go to the living room as soon as she fell asleep, but then I- I- fell asleep too!" he murmured, lamenting – shaking his head like crazy.

"Sam, you need to calm down" Kurt said then, soothing the boy. "It's really not that big of a deal as you think it is. It's very innocent, actually" Kurt thought out loud, his mind inevitably wandering off to the memory of Sebastian's roughness. Not that he didn't like that, though. But Sam looked quite innocent compared to it.

Sam didn't look any calmer.

"Okay, jeez, we won't tell her" Kurt promised him, giving up. He left Sam with his breakfast and lay down on the couch. He was feeling nauseous again and unable to deal with any drama right now.

Sam followed him, looking calmer now.

"Thanks, man" the blond sighed with relief, then happily attacked his bowl of cereals.

"Don't mention it" Kurt murmured. Like _really, don't_.

Then Kurt remembered he might need some help too. "Hey, Sam… could you… I mean" Kurt gulped, nervously. There was no easy, or proud, way to ask this.

"Anything you need, Kurt. I owe you my life" Sam said, regarding him intensely.

Kurt contained a chuckle. "You really don't. Anyway, you think you could… maybe, tell me- what I-" he cleared his throat, embarrassed, "oh, God… what the hell happened last night?"

Sam burst out laughing. "You really don't remember?" the boy looked really amused.

Kurt hid his face behind a pillow.

"Oh, you're killing me!" Sam kept laughing. "Oh, damn! If I didn't owe you I would so mess around with you. What a pity" and he looked sad indeed.

Kurt rolled his eyes. "It can't be that bad. Can it?" he asked, scared.

Sam shook his head. "It's not, but I could totally play with your head" he said with a mysterious tone.

Kurt snorted. He _so _could not. But Kurt let it be.

"Nah, you just fooled around with that Adam guy, but we got you home safely" Sam winked. "Don't sweat."

Kurt was only partially relieved and very confused now. "Adam? Won't you mean Andy?"

"No, Kurt, he means Adam" Rachel said all of a sudden, jumping to sit right next to him on the couch.

"Adam? Adam who?" Kurt asked again, even more confused. Had he been fooling around with a random guy he just met on the bar? Not that he would've preferred it to be Andy, but… at least he could put a face to the guy.

"Adam, as in _your_ Adam?" Rachel asked rhetorically, shaking her head then like she just couldn't stand so much nonsense.

Kurt froze. "What?!" he screamed, with a high-pitched tone he hadn't pulled off since he sang "Defying Gravity" on the glee club reunion. "Oh no, no, no, no, no, no…" he mumbled, feeling nauseous again. "No, no, no, no, no! Oh God, no! Why didn't you stop me?" he asked Rachel then, full of resentment.

"Man" Sam interfered, casting him a reproachful look.

Kurt sighed. "Sorry" he mumbled to Rachel, who looked unaffected.

"Well, you looked cheery enough" she shrugged. "And he's a nice guy, so I figured…" the girl started to explain, but Kurt shook his head and cut her, feeling like world had just gone crazy.

"But I'm in love with Sebastian!" he said, exploding.

Both Sam and Rachel looked taken aback.

Kurt gulped, realising how dry his throat was. _I feel so stupid_.

Rachel's hand was on his shoulder then. "I didn't know that, Kurt. I'm sorry" the girl admitted, truly.

"Yeah, neither did I, dude" Sam added. "But don't worry, from now on I'll help you keep an eye on… um-, well, you" he added, awkwardly.

Kurt couldn't contain a bitter chuckle. "Wow. I'm such a mess" he sighed, resting his head on Rachel's lap, who started stroking his hair all mommy-like.

"Don't say that, Kurt. You're not" she told him off. "You're just… in a very confusing relationship. You should talk to Sebastian, you know" she added, somewhat lower.

"I know" Kurt agreed. Thankfully, Sebastian had promised they would. "Just two more weeks" he remembered.

/

Rachel left on the next day, taking away with her all the craziness from that weekend.

Kurt didn't hear from Adam, nor did he expect to. He wanted to get back to his normal, peaceful working life, and forget any of that had actually happened.

Except that it had, and he had a hickey on the lower part of his neck that proved it. _Dammit_. Thank God Sebastian wouldn't be there for at least two more weeks. That gave his skin enough time to recover… right? Kurt bought an expensive ointment just in case.

Plus, _Adam_. It wasn't like Kurt had made out with some random stranger. Adam was a great guy and he didn't deserve to be treated like that.

A week later, though, Kurt still hadn't heard from him. _Huh_. Would the blond boy regret it just as much as Kurt did? _Oh, Gaga, was I that awful?_

Yet Kurt knew that was the least of his problems. The biggest one being that upcoming conversation with Sebastian. _The talk._

Dear Lord, had that really been _his _idea? Because it surely was a terrible one. Now that Kurt had come to terms with his feelings in such a drastic way, what could he expect from Sebastian? Or worse yet, what if there was nothing the other boy had to come to terms with?

But that couldn't be right, could it? Not after what Andy had told him. Even Kurt was not that thick. _He _was marble.

One week and a half later Kurt still had no news of Adam. But neither had he of Sebastian, and that unsettled Kurt way more. Not even a silly text. And his profile page was every day more and more loaded with pictures of the boy having fun. Like, _really_ enjoying himself. He was sporting his bright-like-the-sun smile in all of them, and it tickled something inside Kurt.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that Sebastian had looked miserable when he left.

Kurt wanted him to be happy, he truly did, but he also wanted to make him happy. What if he didn't?

Kurt's inner monologue would go on and on and on and on until that Friday morning. He was leaving a coffee shop on a hurry when he bumped into someone.

"Kurt?" a familiar English voice asked.

Kurt trembled and raised his eyes tentatively. "Adam?" Somehow, seeing the blond boy with his full conscience back let Kurt recover some memories from that night.

"Kurt, hey, I've really wanted to call you earlier, but…" the boy scratched his head, clearly embarrassed.

To say Kurt was surprised would've been an understatement. "Why? I mean – I was such a mess the other night… I'm sorry" he apologised seriously, his cheeks and ears burning furiously.

"No you weren't" Adam told him quickly, firmly, but with a kind smile. "You were fun, and gentle, and really, really understanding."

Kurt went mute. "… Was I?" he asked, puzzled.

Adam giggled. "Of course you were, silly. It was me who wouldn't stop whining like a baby about my boyfriend. Really – you, sir, were nothing but great" Adam patted Kurt's back, in a friendly way. Kurt was shocked. "And I hope you noticed how I said 'boyfriend', and not 'ex'" Adam giggled, happily.

"Oh?" Kurt giggled too, just to play along discreetly.

"That's right, we made up" Adam exclaimed, smiling brightly. "I took your advice and I confronted him. I said: you and I need to have a little talk, sir, and… I came clean! And it felt great, Kurt" the boy sighed, relieved.

Kurt was at awe. _Hu. _Had that really been his advice?

"So what about you?" Adam asked, smiling cheerily. "Did you also talk to this – oh, how did you describe him? – 'passionate yet sweet' boy of yours? He sounded dreamy" Adam chuckled.

Kurt blushed even further. "I- I-" Kurt stuttered nervously. How much did he tell Adam? "I did not" he admitted, bitterly. "Still waiting for him to come back from Europe, I'm afraid."

"Oh, right, right. France" Adam nodded. Apparently he knew that much. "Well, good luck, mate. I'm sure it'll turn out marvellously for you" Adam wished him genuinely, and Kurt felt overwhelmed by his generosity.

Kurt had to giggle, really, because what else could he do? He didn't deserve so much kindness. Not when he didn't even remember talking to Adam.

"Oh, come here, you!" Adam asked him, going for a hug then.

"Oh" Kurt startled, but returned the hug just as enthusiastically. It was the least he could do.

"You deserve the love, Kurt. Now go get it!" Adam encouraged him, once they broke off the hug.

Kurt smiled at him and waved him goodbye while he observed the blond boy leaving with an animated attitude, brightening up the day at his pass. Kurt could not move his feet.

Something felt odd. The way Adam had acted with him… their interaction had been anything but awkward. Plus, in which moment between the mutual whining about their lovers had they started to make out, exactly? Adam couldn't be more in love with his boyfriend. It didn't make any sense. And the hickey. Come on.

Something told Kurt there was some information missing from that night.

He had to talk to Andy. And he had to do it soon.

/

Oh, God. How could he be so stupid? Of course it had been Andy! Kurt had known it from the very moment he opened his eyes that dreadful morning after. What if they had hooked up while Sam and Rachel were… distracted? _By each other's uvulas_, Kurt thought sarcastically.

_Dammit_, that Andy boy had such a big mouth. He surely didn't seem like the discreet type. The 'I get some and shut up about it' type.

_Crap_, what if he had told Sebastian already?

Kurt literally had no time to react, though. As soon as he was greeting Vogue's doorman good-bye, he was presented with the charming view of a very handsome and tanned Sebastian.

Yeah, _dreamy_ was actually just the perfect adjective for him.


	24. Chapter 24

_God_, writing this was like giving birth to a **very heavy** baby. I don't mean it in a bad way, but... it was exahusting, really! Their chemistry, their perspectives, their reasonings... aaah everything took a lot of work. But I feel like if I don't leave it here and post it now, I never will. So I hope it turns out to be enjoyable and credible for all of you and that my effort was not in vain!

I know there're still some questions that need to be adressed. Like Andy, Adam, and what exactly happened that night. Everything will be explained on next chapter. But rest easy, nothing terrible happened! Haha I'm just commenting this because I got a little worried with your reviews... Kurt just got drunk and couldn't put a face to the blond guy he kissed... that happens, lol! Or maybe I've had too many bad experiences with alcohol idk...

Ps. I don't own Glee.

Ps2. Sorry for the spelling, grammatical mistakes. I'm sure there'll be tons, but I'm just sooo tired to check the text again...

* * *

At first, Kurt thought it had to be an illusion. He'd been so emotionally stressed out that day that this was the mean, cruel way his mind had to pay him back.

But then Sebastian smiled right at him, and Kurt's body just melted. That smile was unreal, that much was true. But it was Sebastian's, so it was actually real. Did that make any sense?

Kurt slowly returned the smile and approached him, feeling like a human bunch of nerves about to collide.

"Hi" Kurt said, feeling dumb enough. He stopped just two steps away from the other boy, not sure of how he should greet him. It'd been one month and a half. And it'd been two rough weeks.

Sebastian smirked, amused. "Wow" the boy made, chuckling. "I mean, when you said: 'won't I be enough?' I thought: sure, you'll do. But now… I'm not so sure" he said, then stared right at Kurt playfully.

It took Kurt exactly two seconds to realise the boy was joking. He felt himself relax and chuckled briefly too, scratching his nape awkwardly.

They locked eyes, both excited yet uncertain, and Kurt's instincts naturally took charge once again of his free will, making him wrap his arms around Sebastian's on a hug – and taking Sebastian by surprise. He hid his nose on Sebastian's clavicles and inhaled softly, letting his body be overwhelmed by a feeling of belonging Kurt would've never expected to experience. He was hugging Sebastian, and somehow it felt like home.

Sebastian returned the hug just as warmly, closing his arms around Kurt too. He stroked Kurt's back gently, then slowly pulled back to face him.

"Hi there" the boy said with a small smile.

Kurt took a hold on Sebastian's shoulders, and tried really hard not to care about how badly his cheeks were burning. So he had blushed. Who cared? Sebastian knew him already.

"I missed you" Kurt said cheerily, rather than sadly. He was floating on cloud nine.

Sebastian looked just as animated to Kurt's eyes. The boy even came forwards and bit Kurt's nose, making Kurt giggle.

"Oh, it's been a while since my poor nose was attacked" Kurt joked, rubbing his sore skin.

Sebastian looked quite proud. "Your nose can take it" he said playfully, then kissed Kurt's cheek.

Kurt sighed, all love-bird-like. Had he missed Sebastian's affection. Had he…

"You're hungry?" Sebastian asked then, and they started to walk. Aimlessly for now. "Or thirsty?" he smirked.

Kurt shook his head. "Oh, dear, no" he giggled awkwardly. "My body's sworn off alcohol for a while. It's really pissed at me."

Sebastian shot him a curious look. "Wild summer, Hummel?" he asked, mockingly.

Kurt couldn't help but gulp nervously. _Just one damn night_, he thought. He settled for smiling discreetly. "I'm a bit hungry, though. And I'm gonna need the food to digest how jealous your tan is making me feel."

Sebastian actually laughed, and it sounded so clear and truthful that it made Kurt shiver. How could that little sound affect him so much?

"Let's have some proper food, then" Sebastian said, directing Kurt to a street-cross, all gentleman-like.

/

They ended up somehow on _their_ Irish pub. Kurt felt a little awkward when ordering a Diet coke, but forgot all the awkwardness when he saw how yummy his burger looked like.

So far, Sebastian and he had burnt out all the small conversation topics there were available: Edna, Vogue, Rachel's crazy TV-show and the basics about Marseille, where apparently Sebastian spent almost every summer.

The boy answered a little evasively, though.

"That'd be my mother's father. He's the one who's French" the boy nodded, informing Kurt.

Kurt was trying really hard not to feel like he was interrogating Sebastian, but every time the boy looked away while answering, Kurt felt almost forced to change the subject to some silly anecdote of Isabelle or Sam.

This time, when Sebastian eyed the bartender while talking about his grandfather, Kurt decided he would dig a little further. If Sebastian couldn't even bare this level of "personal", then how could he stand a conversation about their feelings?

"Mm… is the grand-père a nice man?" he asked tentatively, giving Sebastian a small smile.

Sebastian shrugged. "He's okay" the boy said smiling back, though briefly. "He's better than my other grand-father, that's for sure" he mumbled.

"Edna's husband?" Kurt asked, confused.

Sebastian chuckled. "One of them."

_Right, _Kurt thought. It suited Edna. "I can't believe I'm asking this but… she didn't have any more kids… did she?" Kurt doubted for a moment.

"Oh, no, you're crazy?" Sebastian snorted. "I mean, I love her – but she could barely take care of my father" the boy smiled, awkwardly.

Kurt nodded, letting that sink in. He had touched a sore spot.

"I haven't visited her in a while…" Kurt thought out loud, while finishing his burger. "I would blame my crazy schedules, but… I think I've just been careless" he admitted, with embarrassment. Those poor old ladies, Maggie and Edna. How could he forget?

Sebastian shook his head amused. "You? Careless? Kurt, you're literally the most caring person I know" Sebastian said straightforwardly, surprised. Then he looked away nervously. Like he had said something wrong. But he hadn't!

Kurt kicked Sebastian's leg, playfully. "Well, thank you, you" he joked.

Sebastian rolled his eyes but smiled. "Just one hour I already sound as cheesy as you" the boy mocked him, but Kurt didn't care.

"Hu. You wish" Kurt eyed him cheekily while he stole a couple of fries from Sebastian's plate. Sebastian let him.

"So…" Sebastian observed Kurt's empty plate, "shall we go to my apartment?" he asked, with a malicious smirk that promised nothing good.

Kurt gulped. The moment of truth.

"Um-…" he distractedly scratched his neck, and bit his lip so hard it hurt him. "Could we… I mean, you'd like to…"

"Stay a bit longer? Sure" Sebastian cut him, and got up nervously, not looking at Kurt. "I'm gonna uh- get a refill" he murmured while grabbing their glasses.

Kurt's stomach twirled funnily. Oh, God. Sebastian was even more nervous than he was. Kurt took a deep breath and grasped the table firmly. _Relax. You only have nice things to say. Relax_.

But that wasn't true, was it? What about the unsolved Andy incident?

"Here you go" Sebastian said, planting a "fresh" glass of Diet coke in front of Kurt.

_This is not gonna help my nerves_, Kurt mentally lamented. "Thanks" he whispered, then took a long sip anyway. He had a lot of nods to swallow down.

Sebastian wouldn't look at him, and Kurt wondered for how long his own body could bear this agitated state.

"Meerkat?" Kurt asked, tentatively. Sebastian stared right at him then, kind of fiercely. "I- I-" Kurt stuttered briefly, but enough to feel unable to follow. He closed his mouth then, and just smiled awkwardly.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him. "You okay?" the boy asked, concerned.

Kurt was feeling a little nauseous, and he was pretty sure that he looked pale. "Not really" he admitted, taking another discreet deep breath.

He suddenly felt Sebastian's hand over his own, even though he hadn't caught the movement. But it was there, warm and firm, and it soothed him.

Kurt observed the hand briefly, then raised his eyes to meet Sebastian's again. "I have to tell you something" Kurt finally said.

"Okay" Sebastian nodded, somewhat calmly.

Kurt nodded too. "Okay. Um-" _Just say it. Say it_. "Look. Up until two weeks ago, I would've come here and said that I just had nice things to say. I really would have, but now-"

"It's okay, Kurt. I get it" the boy cut him, taking his hand away and his expression turning incredibly serious now. Sebastian stared at the floor.

Kurt frowned, suddenly so confused that the tension of his shoulders seemed to vanish momentarily. "What? What do you get?" he asked, truly puzzled.

Sebastian gave him a brief look. "Whatever you're feeling. I get it" he shook his head, coldly.

"How do you know what I'm feeling? I haven't even told you" Kurt protested, somewhat annoyed.

Sebastian casted him a shocked look then, clearly not expecting Kurt to protest. "But you did, you- you just said you thought it would be all nice stuff, but as it turns out, you've realised it's not. It's okay. I knew you'd come to your senses sooner or later" the boy explained nervously.

The boy in front of Kurt didn't even look like _his _Sebastian. He looked so insecure and vulnerable that it almost made Kurt's heart ache a little.

"Bas, that's… that's not what I was gonna say. _At all_" Kurt stated, regained now, emphasising his last words and grabbing Sebastian's hand again. "Really, it wasn't" Kurt insisted.

Sebastian looked a little taken aback at first. "Oh" he made, insecurely, but he smiled briefly.

_Better than nothing_, Kurt thought.

"What I was gonna say, actually, is- that I-… I did something stupid the other night" Kurt bit his lip, embarrassed. Granted, he wasn't entirely sure of what had actually happened that night. But he did remember kissing someone, and his instincts had told him from the start that it had been Andy, so Kurt preferred Sebastian to hear it from him than from Andy. Plus, it had been just a few kisses! That much he knew, and Sam had assured him they got him home safe.

Sebastian casted him a confused smile then, slightly curious. "O-kay?" he asked, seeing that Kurt was silent.

Kurt scratched his neck. "I don't even remember it. It's kind of a blur" he let slip, then forced himself to put his shit together. "I mean- it's not even important. Not for me, anyway" he promised, even if Sebastian wouldn't exactly understand that was what Kurt was doing. "I think something happened with Andy. We probably made out, or… kissed, I think" Kurt's trembling voice said, and for a moment Kurt thought it was someone else's.

Kurt didn't know when, but somewhere in between his speech, his hand had lost Sebastian's. He went mute then, desperately waiting for some kind of sound to come out of Sebastian's mouth, but the boy was silent too. Kurt observed him, and his lips were no longer relaxed or smiling. They were puckered and tense.

Sebastian looked incredibly serious. And pissed off. "What do you mean you don't even remember?" he asked finally, when the silent stare became unbearable.

Kurt gulped, slightly scared. He recognised that fierceness. Only, that he used to witness it in bed. And it was quite harmless. Now… it was something else.

"I was really drunk" Kurt admitted, biting his lip hardly again. "It's not like I don't remember anything, I do remember some stupid kiss and… well" Kurt caught a glimpse of Sebastian, who was shaking his head slightly, upset. He felt nauseous. "Nothing more happened, Sebastian. I went home alone" he added, hoping that piece of information would sooth Sebastian.

Sebastian snorted. "I'm gonna kill this guy" he murmured, covering his mouth with his hand and not even looking at Kurt.

Kurt's eyes went wide with shock. "What-… why?!" he asked alarmed, looking for Sebastian's eyes.

"Are you kidding me, Kurt?" Sebastian asked rhetorically, eyes full of rage. "The creep took advantage of you. He probably was the one who get you wasted" he accused Andy, convincingly, but Kurt was not so sure.

"Sebastian, I- I-" Kurt babbled, nervous just because of how unsettled Sebastian looked. "I don't think he did. I probably just- mixed something I shouldn't-" Kurt tried to explain.

"You did shots?" Sebastian cut him, not even listening to him.

Kurt froze. They did. But he did shots all the time. "Why?" he asked, confused.

"Did you, or did you not?" Sebastian repeated, somewhat irritated.

Kurt just nodded, not even sure of what to think anymore.

Sebastian smirked, bitterly. "Of course. He does that all the time. I already stopped him once, you know? That night at Loud 4. You were a mess and yet when I saw you, he had bought you a beer, remember?" Sebastian sounded almost frantic.

"Oh" Kurt made. He had to give that to Sebastian. But that didn't really prove anything. "Look, Sebastian, it doesn't really matter. I just wanted you to-"

"Of course it matters, Kurt. You matter" the boy cut him again, this time frustrated.

That silenced Kurt.

They stared at each other for a couple of seconds, silently. Kurt felt partially awkward, but also unable to pull back his eyes from Sebastian's.

"I'm sorry" Kurt said at last, even if he wasn't really sure what he was sorry about. He just was. He lamented Sebastian's sad look, mostly. "What I meant is… that I wish it hadn't happened. Mostly, because I thought you guys were friends-" Sebastian snorted, and Kurt had to ignore him, "but ultimately… because that ruined my goal, which was… only having nice things to say to you" Kurt fidgeted with his napkin, nervously. He wanted to say more, much more, but the tension was still there. How could he ignore it? "I still have them, though, and I- I'd like for you to hear 'em. Look, could we go somewhere quieter?" Kurt asked then, pliantly.

Sebastian simply nodded and got up, poker face-like. Kurt gulped and got up too, feeling like an idiot. Sebastian pointed towards the exit and let Kurt walk in front of him. It was stupid, but Kurt could not see the moment when they were outside the pub walking next to each other. Then, as he was picturing that, he felt Sebastian's hand on the small of his back, barely holding him – and he felt revived.

"Where do you wanna go?" Sebastian asked, still somewhat coldly.

"Oh, I was thinking… maybe your apartment? I mean, it's five minutes away" Kurt said, even though it was a risky move.

Sebastian regarded him with curiosity, but he nodded.

They walked to Sebastian's quite silently, and Kurt felt suddenly grateful to live in such a noisy city, because it made it less awkward.

When they reached Sebastian's, the boy thankfully looked calmer, although he still didn't lock eyes with Kurt very often. Kurt felt a thousand questions burning wildly on his mind, and had the sudden hunch that Sebastian wouldn't answer all of them. Not tonight, at least. He sighed and sat on the couch, tiredly.

"You think you could handle a glass of wine?" Sebastian joked harshly.

Kurt bit the inside of his mouth, trying hard not to feel hurt. "I think I'll pass, thank you" he answered somewhat annoyed.

He observed Sebastian moving around the living room, putting some order, and wondered if the boy actually had some right to be mad at all. If they were not dating, why the hell was he so upset? But the fact was that he was, and that only proved that their relationship was now clearly confusing for both of them.

Kurt cleared his throat. "Would you sit here with me, please?" he asked, when he could no longer stand Sebastian ignoring him.

The boy casted him an uncertain look, but sat down. Reluctantly.

Kurt sighed. "This is getting really confusing, Sebastian" he let slip.

Sebastian frowned. The boy opened his mouth, but then just puckered his lips and looked away. "What is?"

Kurt took a deep breath. "Everything…" he mumbled. Then he reminded himself that evasion was not an option. Not now. "_You_ – leaving so soon for France, not wanting to talk to me… and now _this_, getting so pissed for some stupid kiss."

Sebastian looked taken aback, then his expression got somewhat harsh. "So it's just me the one acting confusingly" he stated, coldly.

Kurt damned himself. He moved a little bit closer to Sebastian on the couch – as closer as his vulnerability let him, which wasn't much right now. "That's… not what I meant" he rubbed his forehead, insecurely.

"Then what did you mean?" Sebastian asked, straightforwardly.

Kurt felt cornered, but he didn't feel the need to run away. If something, he felt the need to set things straight. "I meant that we agreed to say something when things got too confusing, but we haven't. I- I know I haven't" he admitted, breathing somewhat unsteadily.

Sebastian regarded him expectantly. "Why?" he asked, on a whisper.

Kurt looked at the boy in front of him. The answer was standing right in front of him, and he was wearing such a scaring expression. He looked defensive, fierce, and yet receptive. It was… well, _confusing_.

"I was scared" Kurt let slip. Sebastian's eyes got somewhat softer. "I was scared that what I was feeling- what _I am_ feeling, might… freak you out" he joked, awkwardly.

Sebastian came closer then, and left one hand on Kurt's knee. Just one piece of his skin over the fabric of Kurt's trousers. Just one gesture. But that gesture told Kurt they were okay. That they were doing okay for now.

"I don't want you to ever be scared of me" Sebastian told him, regretful.

Kurt observed him, a little surprised, but soon enough a warm wave gradually crept up his lungs, chest and throat to finally reach his lips and become a smile.

"I'm not scared now. I promise" Kurt told him, softly.

Sebastian gave him a small smile, a genuine one. And Kurt's breathing became somewhat steadier again.

"As long as you're not scared either…" Kurt added, because there was still much more to talk about.

Sebastian smirked bitterly, pulling his eyes away. "You think I am?"

Kurt sighed. "I might be wrong, but… yes" he admitted.

Sebastian wouldn't return his look. The boy got silent again, and looked visibly uncomfortable.

"Sebastian…" Kurt started, tentatively placing his hand on the other boy's arm. "Sebastian, I- I wasn't lying. I can only say nice things about you" Kurt mumbled, his voice barely steady now. "I think you're… wonderful" he let slip, then looked down, feeling unbearably vulnerable.

If Sebastian was looking at him, Kurt could no longer tell it. Kurt was too distracted by the pattern of Sebastian's shirt. He wouldn't dare to Sebastian's reaction just yet.

"What?" Sebastian asked then, tone full of suspicion and doubt. "You-… you really think that?" the boy rephrased, incredulously.

Kurt met his eyes then, and just nodded.

Sebastian looked astonished. He wouldn't stop babbling. "You… you think that" he repeated, shocked. "Bu- but why?" he said then, with sad intrigue. "Why would you think that? I mean-…" the boy turned around to stop facing Kurt while he brought his hands to his own hair.

From all the possible reactions, that was probably the last one Kurt was expecting. It was almost ridiculous that Sebastian would not believe him.

Kurt was suddenly hit with a crazy idea. "Bas?" Kurt asked, tentatively, and mostly to put the boy out of his denial. Sebastian looked at him then, still puzzled. "Would you- join me… in your bedroom?" Kurt got up, not even waiting for a response.

Maybe it was stupid, but Kurt thought they would communicate better in bed. There was just something about the place, about what it represented, that made it the perfect encounter point. A place where Sebastian would feel calm, and safe, even if they didn't actually _do_ anything. They could use it just to adapt to each other's needs, and find a way to express what each of them felt. That was what Kurt imagined, anyway.

Kurt took off his shoes and sat in the middle of Sebastian's bed. He looked around, his eyes greeting one of his favourite places on Earth.

Sebastian stood under the doorframe, a little sceptical.

"I thought you wanted to talk" the boy said, confused.

Kurt patted the bed, inviting Sebastian to sit right next to him. "I do. But we can continue it in here" he explained, trying to shake the upcoming self-awareness away.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him, looking curious, but approached the bed eventually. He stood in front of Kurt, looking down at him, eyes studying eyes.

Kurt sat on his knees then and moved to the edge of the bed, his eyes now meeting Sebastian's chin. His self-awareness level reached its highest.

"I thought you might feel more comfortable here…" Kurt added, nervously. "It was a stupid idea – we'll go to the living room…" he mumbled, stepping one foot out of bed, but Sebastian sat down then, and caught his knee.

"It wasn't. I like it here" Sebastian told Kurt, giving him a small smile.

Kurt smiled back at him, feeling at ease, then witnessed Sebastian's hand coming closer to his cheek, barely stroking Kurt's skin with its thumb.

"Sebastian..." Kurt decided he'd start talking now, before things could get physical too son. "If I asked you to talk is because I don't precisely have all figured out" Kurt told him, feeling an urge of sincerity. "I'm a mess. Only now I'm starting to learn how to take care of myself."

Sebastian listened to Kurt in silence, attentively. Kurt mentally thanked him, also because the boy looked somewhat calmer now.

"But I do know that I- I just can't keep pretending I can handle _this_" Kurt breathed out. "This constantly hiding what I feel for you."

Sebastian's lips trembled, almost imperceptibly; then he sighed, regretful. "Dammit, Kurt. This is only gonna get worse" he blurted out, rubbing his temples. "I didn't know this was how you were feeling, I mean- maybe I sensed something when I left, but..." he shook his head, "I thought none of us were looking for... something serious" he gulped down.

Kurt locked eyes with him. Sebastian was right. None of them were... at first. Was Kurt now? "That's what I'm saying, Bas... I don't even know what I'm looking for-"

"I think you do, Kurt" Sebastian cut him, with a tone that denoted both impatience and harshness.

It took Kurt a few seconds to react to the unexpected harshness. "I... I just- I just want to be with you" Kurt said, but felt like words were getting poorer somehow. Unsatisfying.

"What are you asking from me here?" the other boy simply asked, eyes and tone heavy, conflicted.

Kurt couldn't help but feel hurt for Sebastian's lack of cooperation. Did the boy have nothing to say? At all?

"Well, for starters, I'd like to know what you feel about me" Kurt exploded, unable to contain it anymore. "Because I think you do have feelings for me" he ranted, annoyed. Then saw Sebastian's widened eyes and felt shocked too. "I mean..." Kurt gulped, nervously, looking anywhere but at Sebastian, "the night before you left... I also sensed something – there was something going on with you... and I think I had something to do with it" Kurt added, tentatively, then finally dared to look Sebastian in the eyes.

"You meant what you meant" Sebastian commented, coldly. He couldn't look more unwilling. He got up, and started to pace the room frantically.

"I just needed some air, Kurt. I would've left eventually anyway, so…" Sebastian mumbled, more talking to himself than to Kurt. Kurt had the feeling that the boy had failed to catch that _air_. "Look, I don't know what I'm feeling, okay?" Sebastian finally exploded, frustrated. "This is new for me, and I don't think I can do this" he told Kurt, with an overwhelmed expression. "You're right. We agreed to do this until things got messy. And they've gotten too messy now. Maybe it's time we- stop" he added, more lowly.

Kurt felt a sting of pain falling upon his chest. And he would have let himself feel that pain if it hadn't been for Sebastian's defeated expression. Coward, even.

Kurt could not believe that, nor could he accept it. "I think you're just scared" Kurt said then, determinedly.

Sebastian snorted, a mix of bitterness and actual scare on his tone. "Scared?"

"Yes, _scared_" Kurt repeated, just as firmly. "Scared because you don't think you're worth being loved." Sebastian's eyes got wide with shock then, but Kurt wouldn't drop it there. "But you are, Sebastian" Kurt told him pliantly now, with all the strength that he had. "You deserve to be loved, and I'm just asking you to let me do it" Kurt whispered.

Sebastian listened to Kurt's words with an expression of alarm, but he didn't move an inch from his standing position. He appeared to be speechless, moved even, and his eyes kept moving frantically from Kurt's eyes to his lap, uncertainly.

The fact that Kurt was sitting and Sebastian was looking down at him didn't help either. It made Kurt felt small, mostly, but ultimately it made him feel away from Sebastian. Distant.

"Kurt..." Sebastian barely murmured, eventually. "I'm scared, yeah... but I'm scared to hurt you" the boy said, almost trembling. "Not intentionally, but..." he looked insecure now, "inevitably. You're setting such high expectations of me... I don't think I can live up to that" Sebastian said, sincerely.

"But I'm not" Kurt protested, tiredly, with the last inch of determination he treasured. "I'm not asking for anything in return" he murmured, fidgeting with his own sleeve.

Kurt felt like an idiot. How many times did he need to hear Sebastian rejecting him? He couldn't keep asking Sebastian to let him in while baring this utter feeling of being unwanted. He just couldn't. He had so much energy, and it was fading fast under Sebastian's conflicted expression.

"God, I feel so stupid" Kurt mumbled, then got up abruptly. Sebastian casted him a shocked look, and Kurt just shook his head, feeling like crap. "I'm so sorry I put you through this…" he grabbed his shoes from the floor, "_God_, I'm making you feel so uncomfortable" he babbled, terrified with the realisation of what he had just done. He had ruined everything with his insatiable need for honesty. "You're right. I was out of line, and we should stop. _I'm sorry_" he mumbled one last time, then hurried to the living room to look for the rest of his things.

As soon as he put one step on said place, Sebastian's hand grabbed his arm tightly from behind. Kurt froze. He was so freaked out that he hadn't even realised Sebastian had followed him.

"Kurt, don't leave" Sebastian said affectedly, then rested his forehead on Kurt's shoulder. "Please" he added.

"Wh- why?" Kurt said, not daring to move a single muscle.

"Because I didn't get to tell you... _anything_" Sebastian whispered anxiously. Kurt got actually worried about Sebastian's anxious state then, and so he tried to turn around and face him, but Sebastian's hold on his arm got only tighter, as in asking him to stay right where he was. Sebastian's free hand found its way to Kurt's torso and stroked it. Kurt placed his hand over Sebastian's and held the boy closely to himself, reassuringly.

"No one's ever looked at me the way you do, Kurt. The way you smile at me? The way you just... enjoy having me around? The way you just... want to share your time with me, I-... I really don't get it, but... you do, somehow" Sebastian breathed out, unsteadily, but slowly calmer. "Please, don't go. Whatever you're doing… just don't stop it."

Kurt breathed out with difficulty too, feeling happy, confused and scared all at once. "I won't" Kurt promised. "As long as you want me to, I won't" he whispered.

Sebastian intertwined his fingers with Kurt's then, on both hands, and placed them on Kurt's chest, holding him firmly from behind. Kurt couldn't believe there had been a moment, not long ago, when he had felt unwanted by this man.

Sebastian kissed Kurt's neck first, slowly; then he just mouthed it, and kept moving aimlessly until he reached the corner of Kurt's lips, where he stopped, uncertainly. Kurt turned his head to the side, searching for Sebastian, and captured his lips carefully.

He barely brushed his lips over Sebastian's at first; then, as Sebastian's lips started to respond with intensity, Kurt kissed more firmly, and soon enough he had to turned around and wrap his arms around Sebastian's neck, urgently.

Sebastian groaned against Kurt's mouth, not exactly erotically, but in a way that seemed like the boy was putting everything he had into the kiss.

Kurt timidly searched for Sebastian's tongue with a tap on the other boy's teeth, and Sebastian deepened the kiss right away. Sebastian held the small of Kurt's back firmly, his fingers stroking Kurt's skin under the fabric of his shirt.

They broke the kiss eventually, feeling like they were running out of air. Kurt rested his forehead against Sebastian's then, and breathed agitatedly.

_God_, if only Kurt could find a way to tell this beautiful, very beautiful man how highly he thought of him. How fond, and proud, and happy Sebastian made him feel. How Sebastian deserved just the same in return.

"Do me a favour?" Kurt dared to say, probably because he was feeling intoxicated by the warmth of Sebastian's arms wrapped around him.

Sebastian nodded, almost imperceptibly, but they were close enough to even catch each other blinking.

"Stop thinking you're a jerk… please?" Kurt asked him, truly. He didn't intend for it to sound funny, or to break the tension, but somehow that was the effect his words had, because Sebastian breathed out warmly and side smiled, not taking it too seriously. "I'm serious, though" Kurt smiled, but his tone was more firm now. "Maybe I should've started with that…" he bit his lip, regretfully.

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him, partially surprised, partially amused. "Why?"

"It's just- that… you said our _intimate time_" Sebastian's actual words had been 'sexual skills', but Kurt chose to rephrase it, "had somehow clouded my judgement and… now also, you keep saying you don't get why I want to spend my time with you… and I'm concerned" Kurt said, timidly. "'Cause, let me tell you…" Kurt casted him a pity look, "you're not that good in bed" he added jokingly, making both of them chuckle, and breaking the tension once and for all.

Now, _that_ had been intended. Thankfully, Sebastian looked more approachable now.

"My point is… that you matter too, Sebastian" Kurt explained. Sebastian frowned, looking away, as if he was struggling to find a valid argument to discuss Kurt's reasoning. "Look. You once asked me to believe you when you said I was hot… Now I'm asking you to believe me when I say you're not a jerk. Deal?" he added, smiling coyly.

Sebastian bit the inside of his mouth, containing a suspicious smile. "Deal" he gave in, eventually.

They held the stare for a few seconds, although it was Sebastian's kind, almost shy smile what kept capturing the attention of Kurt's eyes. Sebastian took a soft hold on Kurt's neck, almost cupping his jawline, and came forwards to place a warm, lingering kiss on Kurt's cheek. That kiss was followed by another, now somewhat closer to the corner of Kurt's lips; that, by another, which played teasingly with Kurt's lower lip. Soon enough, Kurt found himself coming forwards almost unconsciously and kissing Sebastian again. He felt pulled like a magnet, and they got into a dance of kissing and biting each other's lips, lovingly.

At some point, Sebastian broke it, and Kurt rested his head on the crook of the handsome boy's neck. "Kurt?" he asked, tentatively, searching for Kurt's eyes.

Kurt dug up his head from Sebastian's neck skin, where he was inhaling discreetly. "Hm?"

Sebastian wetted his lips, and Kurt observed his pupils dilating. "Thank you" the boy said with a rusty voice.

Kurt narrowed down his eyes at him, surprised.

Sebastian looked away, visibly embarrassed. "Just thank you."

"You're welcome" Kurt wouldn't protest. He kissed the spot where he had been resting his nose just a few seconds ago.

"So… what happens now?" Sebastian asked, suddenly, scare all over his tone.

Kurt looked at him, doubtful. "What happens?" he repeated, a little insure.

Sebastian gulped down, and got a little rigid. "I don't really know what I'm supposed to do now" he commented, nervously.

Kurt was a little shocked to hear that. He suddenly got the feeling that he might be forcing something into Sebastian, after all. "Nothing you don't want to" he explained, tentatively. "Bas, I-… nothing has to change. I just needed to say what I feel… that's all" Kurt looked down, struggling hard not to choose the wrong words. "I promise. No pressure" he nodded.

Sebastian smirked then, somewhat calmer. He cupped Kurt's cheek, gently, and met his eyes. "Seems fair" the boy told Kurt, more regained now.

Then he broke the hold and grabbed Kurt's hands instead. The boy said nothing, but the way he stared at Kurt told him everything he needed to know. They started walking then, and soon enough they were in Sebastian's bedroom again.

Sebastian pointed with his head towards the bed, which was right behind Kurt, and slowly sat Kurt down on it, right on the edge.

Then, the boy got down on his knees, and parted Kurt's legs a little, just enough for him to place his arms over Kurt's thighs and have full access to Kurt. He run his hands all the way up Kurt's torso, until he reached the collar of his shirt.

Kurt just observed him at awe, unable to do anything else. Sebastian grabbed Kurt's collar and contemplated it with anticipation, but did nothing.

"Can I help?" Kurt asked then, giving Sebastian a small smile.

Sebastian shook his head, playfully. "I'm still trying to decide what I'm gonna do to you."

Kurt fell a shiver down his spine, but tried to keep a normal appearance. "Oh" he simply said, feeling kind of silly.

"It's been too long, hasn't it?" the boy commented, while taking off Kurt's shoes. He locked eyes with Kurt then, and probably realised Kurt's agitation, because an incredulous smirk graced his lips. "You know you have some calling here, right?" Sebastian said, amused.

Kurt blushed, feeling really clumsy.

"Hey…" Sebastian murmured. "How come I still make you so nervous, babe?" he asked, surprised and delighted at the same time.

Kurt puckered his lips, embarrassed. "Don't enjoy it so much" he told Sebastian off, still feeling like his cheeks might just explode any second.

"But I do" Sebastian protested, then scratched the inside of Kurt's thighs, suggestively. "I really do" he whispered, coming closer to Kurt's ear. "Can I tell you something?"

Kurt gulped, kind of fascinated by how comfortable Sebastian looked right now, when only ten minutes ago he had sounded so anxious. He nodded, anyway. When Sebastian left his ear, Kurt realised the boy didn't look as confident as he had supposed.

Sebastian sighed. "I'm looking for the right way to make love to you here, but I might need some help" he said, charmingly honest.

Kurt couldn't help but smile. "That's kind of sweet" he whispered, giving a side smile and rubbing Sebastian's arms.

"I can be sweet" the boy murmured, coming closer to kiss Kurt on the lips. Kurt welcomed Sebastian's mouth gladly, kissing him back just as warmly. He couldn't contain a moan.

"You don't need any help, though" Kurt murmured against his lips, "you're doing just fine" he added, and bit Sebastian's lower lip with want. Before he could realise it, Kurt grabbed Sebastian by the shirt and dragged him to bed, making the boy rest on top of him now. "Just be your natural touchy self" Kurt whispered jokingly on his ear before attacking Sebastian's earlobe.

Sebastian moaned, lowly, and started unbuttoning Kurt's shirt, urgently. "Fuck – I've missed this skin" he breathed out before planting his tongue on Kurt's chest, licking it relentlessly.

Kurt suddenly found himself arching up his hips to rub himself against Sebastian's, and before he could process anything, he was undoing Sebastian's belt.

Almost two freaking months.

Sebastian left Kurt's chest then, and aggressively got rid of Kurt's shirt and his own. Kurt got mesmerised by the sight of Sebastian's naked upper body. "You're so beautiful" Kurt heard himself say, _out loud_, then blushed furiously.

Sebastian run his hand all over Kurt's skin, from his nose, to his crotch, where it stopped and massaged gently Kurt's hardness over the fabric of his clothes.

Kurt panted and closed his eyes, overwhelmed.

"If you could see yourself now…" Sebastian's breath was brushing his ear, too closely for Kurt to contain a shiver. "That's the definition of beauty" he said, with a kind tone, and Kurt opened his eyes then, almost violently.

Sebastian was looking right back at him, intimately, like they were just sharing a secret, and Kurt's emotions finally claimed for some space there in handling Sebastian's sweet, kind smile.

Kurt felt an uncontainable warmth spreading over his chest. How did Sebastian manage to make sex so… so little about sex?

Somehow, that slowed down the speed of the whole thing. Suddenly Kurt was slightly sat up, his back pressed hard against Sebastian's body, who kept stroking him and kissing him from behind, with smooth movements. It was immobilising, because he couldn't reach properly to touch or kiss Sebastian, but it was also overwhelming, since it was Sebastian the one _covering_ him. Physically, but also metaphorically. Kurt had never felt more covered. More provided.

Soon enough they were on their briefs, panting calmly. Not as frenetically as Kurt would have expected after two months. It was like they were both taking their time to enjoy every second. Every touch, every inch of skin, mattered.

"I _so_ wanna do you, Kurt" Sebastian said straightforwardly, with his aggressive, fierce sex manners. His voice was smooth, though.

Kurt could tell. Sebastian's erection constantly tickling his lower back didn't lie.

"O-kay" Kurt breathed out, expectantly.

"You sure?" Sebastian asked, capturing his earlobe teasingly, then continued grasping at Kurt's cheek with his lips. "I don't want you to think you can't top" he added, daringly introducing his hand under the fabric of Kurt's underwear and taking a gentle hold on Kurt's cock.

"I know, I know" Kurt said, then had to bit his lip, distracted by the sensation of Sebastian's fingers on his intimate parts and the thought of being the one topping. "I- I've never topped, though…" Kurt admitted, somewhat coyly.

Sebastian stroked Kurt's side with his other hand then. "You'll do it great… when you're ready" he told him, reassuringly.

Kurt relaxed. It didn't cease to amaze him how comfortable Sebastian found himself in bed. Comfortable enough to be that communicative, that generous. Sebastian's communicative skills were obviously more physical. Just like Kurt's were more verbal. And there was nothing wrong with that.

"Mm, my marble" Sebastian whispered, turning around to face Kurt, and lowering down Kurt's briefs until he got completely rid of them.

Kurt took the opportunity to make the boy rolled down on his back and sat on his thighs, facing him. He took a hold on Sebastian's briefs and put them all the way down too. Then, it was his turn now to _cover_ Sebastian. He casted Sebastian a fond smile, looking down on him, and focused on covering the whole of his freckled torso with his lips. Freckle by freckle. Inch by inch.

Sebastian didn't even move during the whole process – only his hands to take a hold on Kurt's back. That was before their erections started brushing together, making both of them quiver. Kurt stopped kissing Sebastian's torso, terribly aroused. Then, after a brief, yet intense stare between the two of them, Sebastian sat up quickly to take a condom from the nightstand drawer. Kurt followed the movement with his eyes and took Sebastian's hands to help him put it on. Still holding one of Sebastian's hands, Kurt helped the boy locate his entrance, and took a firm hold on Sebastian's wrist while the boy took a couple of minutes to finger him.

Kurt felt too tight at first, and felt incredibly tempted to ask Sebastian for lube. It wasn't necessary though, because no long after, he felt himself relax and could start to appreciate the delicate movement of Sebastian's fingers inside him.

Sebastian sat up slightly then, and wrapped his arms around Kurt, covering his arm with kisses. "When you're ready" he whispered, stroking Kurt's sides for reassurance.

Kurt nodded, and soon enough Sebastian started thrusting inside him without breaking their hold, even though it got incredibly sweaty and heated up after a couple of minutes.

They kept the stare the whole time, sharing furtive, entranced smiles every now and then. Kurt came quite quickly, which wasn't exactly surprising for him. After all, he hadn't had sex for two months. But it did surprise him that Sebastian came not long after him, just as intensely as he had. Kurt wouldn't dare to comment on that, of course. Nor he needed to.

Kurt laid down then partially on top of Sebastian, to make sure he let the boy catch his breath. But Sebastian quickly grabbed him by the waist and placed him over himself, in a 'you're-not-going-anywhere' way.

Kurt smiled, then just relaxed by feeling the rises and falls of Sebastian's heated chest with his cheek.


	25. Chapter 25

Okay, I know I promised I would be explaining the Andy-thing on this chapter, but things got a little out of hands! I just kept writing fluff, and fluff, and... I was reaching 10,000 words already and I thought the chapter was getting too long. So I've decided to cut it here so you guys can enjoy an update now! I'll save the rest for next chapter, and I'll try to have it finished over the weekend. I promise :)

Thank you for your kind reviews :) I really needed it this time!

P.s. I don't own glee.

* * *

Kurt woke up with an overwhelming feeling of warmth covering his whole body. Sebastian was all over him, arms and legs – but the boy looked so obliviously asleep that it was almost cute… Yes, his weight was crushing Kurt, but Kurt was embracing that weight gladly right now.

Mostly, because he was feeling safe. For the first time since they had started seeing each other, Kurt was feeling welcomingly safe. He didn't know what was ahead of them now that they had expressed out how they were feeling, and that, of course, came with a certain amount of risk.

But it was a good feeling of risk: the risk was just themselves, and it didn't seem too scary. For starters, Kurt had Sebastian all over him right now, and the boy was anything but scary from Kurt's perspective; which was Sebastian's right pectoral, actually. Yep, Kurt was enjoying a pretty good view of that particularly spot. It irradiated heat and it looked muscled in a slim way. Sebastian just had a good complexion; his body looked more sculptured than worked out, and that damn tan raised the boy's sex-appeal to ridiculously high levels.

Kurt felt a cocky wave of proud creeping up his chest while looking at it. He smiled idiotically, feeling empowered with the knowledge that he was the one enjoying that tan right now.

_Dammit, _Sebastian's skin was so close to him that it seemed almost sinful not to feel it, if that made any sense. Kurt could actually feel his own breath hover over the spot, bouncing right back to his own lips. He looked up timidly to check on Sebastian's dozed off expression. Then, Kurt couldn't help but bring his lips forwards and softly press them against a tiny spot of skin, right below a nipple. He also brushed accidentally the tip of his nose against it, and looked up alarmed to make sure he hadn't woken Sebastian up. Kurt sighed relieved – he hadn't.

Kurt run his fingertips with extreme care around Sebastian's side – barely touching him, almost playing. After a couple of minutes, he got a little careless and just couldn't stop himself from placing another kiss against Sebastian's ribbons. This time, he didn't even notice his nose crushed against the skin.

Nothing happened, though, so Kurt felt safe enough to press his cheek against the spot and rest it there, blissfully. Only two seconds later, though, he felt Sebastian's hand coming to lay on his hair, where it started to stroke. Kurt looked up, a little regretful.

"Did I wake you?" he asked on a whisper, locking eyes with an adorably asleep Sebastian, who was smiling lazily at him.

Sebastian nodded tiredly, but his smile didn't fall. He cleared his throat then. "It was a pretty good way to wake up."

Kurt smiled fondly. "I'm glad, then" he whispered, and rested his cheek once again against Sebastian's ribbons, getting a little dozed off too with the combing of Sebastian's fingers on his hair.

"Did I crush you too badly tonight?" Sebastian asked, with a lively tone that showed anything but remorse.

Kurt chuckled. "I can take it" he joked, then raised his hands slowly from Sebastian's hipbones to his arms, caressing gently the skin he met along the way. "I slept wonderfully, though" he breathed out, relaxed and peaceful.

A couple of minutes passed, and Kurt felt himself entering once again an asleep state.

Sebastian went down on Kurt then, to meet his eyes. Kurt's eyes were closed, though, but he could feel Sebastian's emerald and intense stare piercing on him.

Kurt opened his eyes, defeated.

"Hey there" Sebastian murmured, looking quite awake and playful.

Kurt groaned and closed his eyes again, regretting waking the boy up. "You're too energetic in the mornings" he complained, grumpily.

Sebastian chuckled. "And you're a little touchy, but I couldn't be more okay with that."

Kurt opened his eyes again and snorted, meeting Sebastian's cheery expression. It was one of those bright-like-the-sun smiles, like the smiles Kurt had seen on Sebastian's Facebook pictures, and it reached his eyes. Kurt felt a wave of warmth flooding his insides. So he could also make Sebastian smile like that. _Hu_. _Good to know_.

"You're still crushing me, by the way" Kurt told him, but he looked anything but pissed off.

"Mm-mh" Sebastian nodded, smirking cockily, and his hand started caressing Kurt's features.

Kurt groaned again, but didn't make the least effort to shake Sebastian off him. He closed his eyes again, softened by the touch of Sebastian's fingertips on his face. First, they were on his cheek, drawing small circles towards Kurt's temples. Once there, they moved to Kurt's eyelids and smoothed them gently. Of course, Sebastian took his time when greeting Kurt's nose, running a finger up and down several times, with true dedication. Kurt smiled, amused. It was Kurt's lips turn then, and somehow Kurt could tell it was Sebastian's thumb the finger which was exercising a little pressure on his lower lip.

Before Kurt could realise what he was doing, his lips had already took charge and kissed softly Sebastian's thumb. He opened his eyes then, a little self-aware, and found a strangely mesmerised Sebastian looking right at his lips. They locked eyes then, for a very brief moment; _very brief_, because Sebastian's lips were quite quickly on Kurt's own, kissing them softly, as if afraid to be too aggressive for Kurt's asleep state. Kurt was certainly feeling more awake now, though.

He kissed Sebastian back and even wrapped his arms around him, with a mix of laziness and enthusiasm he could not quite decipher. Kurt felt like he had little energy, and yet it felt like Sebastian had enough for both of them. More precisely, Sebastian's warmth was all Kurt needed to be fed with right that moment.

It stopped at slowly as it started, but Sebastian's lips didn't abandon Kurt's face. The boy placed small, effortless kisses all over Kurt's cheek, jawline and temples.

Kurt wondered if his face would be telling how he felt. Because if it was, he could be in serious trouble. He was quite mesmerised and overwhelmed by Sebastian's loving gestures, and he doubted he could hide his fascination.

But he didn't have to… right? Supposedly, last night conversation had been about not having to hide anything anymore. Had it not?

Kurt shook the thought away and realised Sebastian was just observing him now while caressing his chest.

"Kurt?" the boy asked, timidly, and Kurt noticed Sebastian's expression was too self-absorbed right now to have noticed Kurt's mirroring face. He sighed, relieved.

"Hm?" Kurt made, casting Sebastian a small smile. He took a moment to enjoy Sebastian's lingering touch on his chest.

"I just remembered" Sebastian started, and chuckled somewhat nervously, "I haven't given you your present yet."

Kurt's eyes got wide with excitement. On his idiotically asleep state, the word 'present' enclosed a very specific and childish excitement. Then, two seconds later, his brain processed it. It wasn't just any present; it was Sebastian's. "You got me something?" Kurt asked, paralysed.

Sebastian chuckled then, more naturally this time. "Of course I did, gayface" he sat up and grabbed Kurt's thighs. He observed them thoroughly, with an intense stare. Kurt would've got a little self-aware if it wasn't because he was quite used to Sebastian's fierce and suggestive stares. "Mm" the boy made, thoughtfully. Sebastian took his dirty thoughts quite seriously. Kurt smiled, amused. Who knew what was on Sebastian's mind right now. "I got you two presents, actually" Sebastian added, then locked eyes with Kurt and smirked not-so-innocently.

Kurt arched an eyebrow at him, intrigued and cheery. "Did you, now?" he asked rhetorically, and sat up slightly. "May I… see them?" he asked, containing his excitement.

Sebastian bit his lip, considering it. "Maybe a more accurate way to put it would be that I got you a present, only _yours _to enjoy, and that I got _us_ another present, which will be very much for my enjoyment and pleasure alone…" he smirked again, maliciously.

_Oh_, here it was again. Sebastian's hungry eyes didn't cease to affect Kurt. "Oh… should I be concerned?" he asked, gulping down nervously.

Sebastian came forwards and shushed him, playfully, then murmured on his ear: "Yes", and bit Kurt's earlobe, teasingly.

Kurt blushed and shivered, unable to focus on anything else than Sebastian's hands on his chest. Sebastian stroked it, very suggestively now. "I can't wait to see how it looks on you…" he murmured, then bit Kurt's earlobe again. One of his hands started running down dangerously fast and soon enough it was caressing the inside of Kurt's thigh.

Kurt remembered he also had two hands then, and slowly brought them to rest on Sebastian's lower waist. He observed Sebastian's abs and kept his stare there, too flustered right now to meet Sebastian's hungry eyes.

"Ca- can I…" Kurt tried to talk but discovered, quite unpleasantly, how dry his throat was. It almost hurt. "… pee first?"

Sebastian snorted and hid his face on the crook of Kurt's neck, unintentionally making Kurt shiver. The boy shook his head, amused, and all Kurt could focus on was the skin of Sebastian's forehead rubbing against his own skin. And how awkward he felt for asking permission to _pee_. Yeah,_ that _too.

Sebastian dug up his face and locked eyes with Kurt, casting him an 'I-don't-know-what-to-do-with-you' smile. "Sure" he said, amused, and the hunger of his eyes looked somewhat calmer now. "I'll tell you what" Sebastian patted Kurt's thigh again, this time more out of habit, "you can even get some breakfast."

He got up then and put his briefs on, throwing Kurt his own too. Kurt thanked him with a small smile, because he was not quite comfortable with being constantly naked, and right when he was about to get out of bed too, he noticed Sebastian had just offered him a hand to help him get up.

Kurt narrowed down his eyes at him, unable to contain a chuckle, but Sebastian just smiled mindlessly, and soon enough Kurt dropped all suspicion and took it. He got up with Sebastian's help, but it didn't seem to be on Sebastian's plans to let go of Kurt's hand just yet, so they made it to the kitchen holding hands just as if they had always done so. Kurt couldn't help but notice the gesture, and his stomach got much more agitated than it had earlier in bed. As usual, it was Sebastian's little loving gestures, those that could go easily unnoticed from the outside, the ones which affected Kurt the more.

So, naturally, when Sebastian stopped walking and turned around to face Kurt, it took said boy by surprise, since his mind had inevitably wandered off to happy places full of Sebastian's little loving gestures.

"By the way, if you wanna wake me up like that every time we sleep together… it won't be the worse" Sebastian suddenly said, then scratched his nape smiling coyly and went to the sink, losing the hold of Kurt's hand then.

_Okay_, that had probably affected Kurt more than the handholding thing.

/

"I- _wow_" Kurt looked up to Sebastian and just got lost on the bright look the boy was giving him. Kurt was at a loss for words and felt incredibly aware of everything. "This is amazing" Kurt whispered, lowering down his gaze again to the book he had just unwrapped. Sebastian had given him an old French edition of Baudelaire's _Les fleurs du mal_ – and when he said _old_, it was _old_ indeed. It dated from 1890. It was amazing. Of course, the book was not on his best condition, but it had gone through a dedicated restauration and it was now quite protected with plastic layers on the covers.

Sebastian smiled too. "Really? That's great" the boy said excitedly, then scratched his neck somewhat awkwardly. "It's great that you like it" he added, visibly containing his excitement.

Kurt was still a little shocked, though. "I _love _it" he emphasised, smiley. "It feels like a have a piece of History in my hands" he said, his inner nerd quite moved.

Sebastian sifted his sitting position on the bed, clearly enthusiastic. "You do" he came forwards to sit beside Kurt now, "a piece of Parisian History, actually – I got this in Paris" he explained.

"Oh, shut up!" Kurt said overwhelmed, then gave the book another look full of promise and dedication. "I have a piece of Paris in my hands!" he said excitedly.

"Exactly" Sebastian chuckled.

Kurt looked at him, quite surprised, and had a realisation. When Sebastian recited for him _Enivrez-vous_, Kurt just took in the sensuality of the situation. The sensuality of Sebastian's reciting and the alluring words he was reciting. But now, with the book on his hands, Kurt's appreciation took a step further. Sebastian could recite like that because he was actually quite a nerd for Literature too. In Kurt's opinion, that required a _certain_ sensitivity. A _deep_ one.

"Here" Sebastian grabbed the book and opened it on a particular page, "this is my favourite section – les _Tableaux parisiens_" he showed Kurt, and Kurt noticed there were some pages marked with Post-it flags, though they didn't stick out from the outside. You had to give the book a closer look in order to notice them, actually. Kurt put his finger on one of them and looked at Sebastian.

The boy bit his lip, embarrassed. "I marked some of my favourites" Sebastian explained, uncertain. "I shouldn't have, should I?" he asked rhetorically, then tried to remove the sticker but Kurt stopped him.

"Don't you dare" Kurt chuckled, then took the book from Sebastian's hands. "I love that you did that" he added, somewhat lower and coyly.

He locked eyes with Sebastian then, and for a moment they just stared at each other, feeling extremely self-aware.

Kurt felt a little exasperated with himself for the awkwardness, so he came forwards and planted a kiss on Sebastian's cheek, acting on an impulse.

Sebastian smiled at him, a little surprised.

"Thank you" Kurt told him, then minded his new book again.

Sebastian rested his hand on Kurt's shoulder and caressed it. "You're welcome" he said, more regained.

Kurt proceed to peek random pages on silent while Sebastian rested his chin on his shoulder. They remained like that for a while.

Sebastian suddenly clear his throat. "Oh, about the other present…"

Kurt gulped down nervously. He had the feeling that the other present wouldn't be that _sensitive_. Sebastian got up and looked for his luggage, which was still unpacked. He came back with a black plastic bag. It looked discreet, at least.

Kurt eyed the bag while biting the inside of his mouth, unsettled. Sebastian's hand found its way back to Kurt's shoulder again, easily.

"I won't be offended if you don't like it, or don't want to use it" the boy said, kindly.

Kurt turned his head to face him and casted him an intrigued look. "I'm not gonna reject a present from you" Kurt said firmly, and gave Sebastian a small smile. He grabbed the bag then and found a small, black box wrapped with a black lace inside.

Sebastian's breath brushed Kurt's ear and sent a chill down his spine. He picked one of the ends of the lace and pulled it, undoing the wrap. He opened the box then, and found what it looked like a piece of underwear. Kurt looked at Sebastian, surprised.

"You scared me" he shook his head and grabbed the briefs. They were black and cotton silk, and looked quite fancy. But Kurt noticed then that they also seemed pretty small, like there was not enough fabric to them. He flipped them and realised that there was actually some fabric missing. On the backside, more specifically. His butt would be at full display. Kurt's saliva got thick and he gulped down with difficulty, nervous.

Sebastian's hand stroked his shoulder then. "It's okay if you don't wanna wear it, Kurt" he said, calmly. "It was mostly a present for me, after all" he chuckled quietly.

Kurt bit his lip and looked at Sebastian, slightly embarrassed. Sebastian looked calm, though, and returned the look with a sweet smile. "I'll wear it" Kurt heard himself say, shockingly. "I mean, maybe not right now" he giggled, awkwardly, "but I'll definitely wear it someday… for you" he clarified.

"Make it a surprise, then" Sebastian suggested, cheekily, and bit Kurt's earlobe playfully.

Kurt turned around then and kissed Sebastian eagerly. He might as well go crazy if he didn't. Kurt was feeling all this energy, sexual and non-sexual, towards the boy, and needed to do something with it. So he wrapped his arms around Sebastian's neck and captured his lips with want.

Sebastian held Kurt on his arms too. He bit Kurt's lips, mostly, and not too hard, but it kept making difficult for Kurt to kiss Sebastian properly. And it made him feel more urgent and needy every time he tried – which was probably Sebastian's intention. After a couple of frustrated groans from Kurt, Sebastian chuckled cheekily against his mouth and finally kissed him fully, with so much intensity that it took Kurt's breath away.

In fact, it wasn't long until Kurt needed to break it and catch his breath, his chest raising and deflating violently. Sebastian run a hand around it, soothing it, then brought his lips to said place to continue the job. It didn't sooth Kurt so much, though. It made him feel more aroused, of course.

Kurt took a hold on Sebastian's hair and held the boy gently against himself, trying to make his breathing somewhat steadier. He was feeling quite agitated, excited, and every pore of his skin was burning with desire for Sebastian's lips to touch it.

Suddenly, Kurt blinked and he was now lying on his back, pressed against the mattress. Sebastian was on top of him, keeping him warm, and his kisses got somewhat less wet, less suggestive. This time they kissed more calmly, as if coming back from a hurricane. Kurt caressed Sebastian's cheeks with his hands, simply delighted by the idea of being able to do just that. He smiled fondly when he felt Sebastian's lips on his cheek.

Kurt felt happy, but he wasn't even aware that was what he was feeling.

"You're amazing" Kurt told Sebastian warmly, kissing the other boy's chin, then jawline, then neck. Kurt could feel they were both hard, but for some reason, right now their kissing wasn't about going all the way to orgasm. It was just about… kissing.

Sebastian looked at Kurt then, a mix between joy and surprise dancing on his eyes. "It's your doing" he whispered then, cockier. Which was pleasantly weird, since he usually looked cocky about his own actions.

Kurt smiled fondly, though. Sebastian's cocky smirk was a huge turn-on for him, no matter what the boy was feeling cocky for. "No, it's yours and yours alone, meerkat" Kurt murmured, not even thinking. His mouth had somehow found a direct line with his emotions, and it seemed like it had eliminated the intermediary – Kurt.

Kurt felt Sebastian's lips once again on his own, and he welcomed them cheerily. Their mouths soon got wet and sore, their kisses gradually lazier. Eventually, Sebastian got off Kurt and laid beside him. They cuddled and their lips just happened to rest against each other, not even kissing anymore.

It was probably noon, maybe later, but it felt like time didn't even exist right that moment.

/

About two hours later, Kurt found himself in the shower with Sebastian. But they were doing anything but taking a shower.

At first, Kurt had felt really determined to soap up Sebastian with his own hands, but then, as he started wrapping the boy in foam, Sebastian grabbed Kurt's hands and slowly placed him against the wall, with calculated premeditation.

Kurt let the boy have it his way, but felt a strong shiver once his back and ass cheeks were pressed against the freezing cold wall. Sebastian noticed and changed the direction of the water falling, so at least a couple of taps would drop some hot water over them. He placed his arms between Kurt's back and the wall, though, to make it less cold for Kurt.

"Sorry" the boy murmured, then kissed Kurt's cheek as an apology.

"It's okay" Kurt smiled at him, overwhelmed by Sebastian's care. He rubbed his still soaped hands around Sebastian's back and kissed his clavicles.

Sebastian closed his eyes, and Kurt could have sworn he had never seen that expression on Sebastian's face. His look was intense, but in soft way. Harmless. Vulnerable. Kurt could read on Sebastian that all his defences were down. So he keep kissing his shoulder, holding the boy tighter and gentler, doing everything he could think of to make the situation as safe and pleasant as possible for Sebastian.

Sebastian's mouth rested on Kurt's forehead. "I'm _so_ glad you didn't leave" the boy said quietly.

Kurt squeezed Sebastian's back carefully. "I'm glad you asked me to stay" he smiled, feeling blissfully high. He didn't want Sebastian not to grant himself some credit.

"That's right" Sebastian breathed out, chucking quietly. "But I wouldn't have dared to if you hadn't been so brave…" he added, then got a little tense.

Kurt kissed Sebastian's chest again, as in telling him that it was okay to express his thoughts out loud. "I bet I looked all blushed and scared, though" Kurt joked, to break the tension.

"You looked beautiful" Sebastian whispered, then bit Kurt's nose, a little more regained.

Now it was Kurt's turn to feel disoriented and vulnerable. Who was this wonderful man and how come he had so many nice words for him? He looked up at Sebastian, speechless, but Sebastian grabbed his hand and took him to stand straight, no longer pressed against the wall. Kurt appreciated it.

Sebastian grabbed the soap then and started washing Kurt's skin with his own hands, just as Kurt had planned to do himself on Sebastian. He couldn't quite move right now, though.

Sebastian rubbed his hands thoroughly along Kurt's torso, and Kurt was so spaced out that it took him about half a minute to realise that Sebastian was biting his lip, with a conflicted expression.

Kurt gulped down, confused. "Is everything okay?" he asked, tentatively, making Sebastian stopped on his hipbones.

Sebastian looked up at him and stared right into his eyes, struggling. "I need to ask you something" the boy said eventually.

Kurt instinctively placed his hands on Sebastian's shoulder, needing to keep the contact with him somehow. Otherwise, the shower felt too cold. "Anything" Kurt nodded, lively.

Sebastian looked down, somewhat nervous. "It's about Blaine" he let slip.

Kurt tried not to be concerned, although he had a pretty good idea where this was going. "Okay" he nodded again.

"It's been like… what? Three months?" Sebastian asked then, somewhat insecurely.

Kurt knew instantly that Sebastian meant how long it'd been since Blaine and he broke up. He swallowed down a nod on his throat. "Almost five, actually" Kurt said, timidly.

Sebastian frowned. "Five? When?" he asked, confused.

"Next month" Kurt admitted, and had to contain a chuckle for his stupid response.

Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Okay. So _four_" he corrected, then got silent.

Kurt really didn't like this conversation, so of course he waited for Sebastian to keep talking. If the boy wanted to talk about Blaine, maybe ask for an explanation, then he'll have to do just that: ask.

"So I guess I was wondering…" Sebastian scratched his nape, nervously. He pressed a tap to buy himself some time and started washing Kurt. "What you feel about him" Sebastian added, finally.

Kurt sighed, a little nervous. Sebastian certainly deserved an explanation about that. "I unfell for him a long time ago" Kurt admitted, even though that made him feel incredibly guilty. "Probably before we broke up, if I'm being honest" he bit his lip and looked down, not really happy about it.

"Is that- different from… loving him?" Sebastian asked, unsure.

Kurt nodded. "It is. I still love him" Kurt explained. "Like friends do" he rushed to add – he didn't want Sebastian to doubt that in the slightest. "I just didn't know that was the way I was loving him" he confessed, embarrassed. "And I hurt him."

Sebastian closed his arms around Kurt's then. Kurt looked up, not really sure what he'd find on Sebastian's face, but thankfully it wasn't coldness. The boy just looked understanding, and thoughtful.

"You feel remorse?" Sebastian asked him, studying his eyes.

Kurt nodded and bit the inside of his mouth. "I know how it must look like from the outside" Kurt said, coyly. "But… even though this makes an awful person, I wasn't in love with him for three years" he let slip, still feeling uneasy. But mostly, concerned. Concerned that Sebastian might doubt the authenticity of his feelings. "It's okay if you can't believe it right now, though… I just hope you will eventually."

Sebastian casted him a confused smile and squeezed Kurt's arms. "Why wouldn't I believe you?"

Kurt shrugged almost imperceptibly, also feeling confused. "I don't know. I guess I'm not feeling very comfortable on my own skin right now" he admitted, giving Sebastian a nervous smile. "I sound like a mess."

Sebastian arched an eyebrow at him and squeezed his arms again. "Kurt, that was not my intention, really; I just wanted to-"

Kurt nodded, knowingly, making Sebastian shut up. He didn't want to make Sebastian feel bad about himself too. "I know that, don't wor-"

"No, I don't think you do" Sebastian cut him, shaking his head. Kurt stared at him, a little surprised, but decided not to interrupt the boy again. Sebastian looked vulnerable, and Kurt felt like his heart was about to leave his chest every time Sebastian looked like that. Coy, yet brave. To Kurt's eyes, Sebastian's vulnerability was an act of bravery, knowing how much effort it took the boy to show it.

"You always feel true to me, okay?" Sebastian finally breathed out, finally making Kurt step out of the dark zone he was getting into.

"Really?" Kurt couldn't help but ask. Sebastian just gave him a sweet, small smile, and Kurt was able to breathe easily again. "Oh, thank God- I was starting t-"

Sebastian lips silenced him then, and Kurt relaxed, thanking the boy with a tentative rub of his thumbs on Sebastian's sides.

/

"Come on, babe – there's got to be something" Sebastian asked Kurt calmly, while his fingers kept pacing Kurt's back. Kurt was lying face down, comfortably, and not having to worry about getting possible boners was a plus.

Kurt bit his lip, doubtful. Of course he had some kinks and fantasies, but… _No_, it was too embarrassing.

"Well, I gue-" Kurt struggled to look casual, like he hadn't even given it a thought before, but the truth was he had.

Sebastian lowered down his hand to the small of Kurt's back and stroked it. "Kurt, there's nothing to be embarrassed" Sebastian whispered, kindly. "It's just your body telling your mind what it needs – it's natural" the boy rubbed his hand around Kurt's sides, affectionately.

Kurt looked down. He knew Sebastian was right. _God_, why couldn't he find it so natural too? Sometimes he hated how shy his body could be. And his instincts.

"I know" Kurt admitted, biting his lip. "I guess I've never had a very close relationship with my body" he added with a small smile, locking eyes again with the beautiful boy he had in front of him.

Sebastian narrowed down his eyes at him, concerned. "Why? Do you not like it? Your body, I mean." Sebastian was trying to figure him out, and it moved Kurt a little, since he was usually the one trying to decipher the other boy.

"Oh, I'm way more comfortable with my body now than I used to" Kurt nodded, relieved when he thought back of the days when he didn't even want to know about gay sex. Thank God he had overcome that. "I just- didn't pay it much attention until I started using it with… Blaine" he added, a little dubious.

Sebastian smirked, amused. Probably by Kurt's subtle way to say 'having sex', Kurt guessed. "So you started discovering your body when you started having sex. Is that it?" Sebastian summed up, still studying Kurt.

Kurt nodded.

"What about on your own?" Sebastian asked again, caressing Kurt's arm now. "You started listening to it then?"

Kurt wasn't sure he understood the question. "Listening to it?" he felt a little awkward. Of course he knew what that meant. It just surprised him, since he was pretty sure he hardly ever did that. "I'm not sure" he let slip, biting his lip and trying not to feel embarrassed.

"I'll be more specific" Sebastian told him, taking in Kurt's indecision. "After your firsts _intimate encounters_ with Blaine…" the boy phrased, and Kurt couldn't help but smile a little at that – Sebastian had no problem to say 'fuck' or something equally less euphemistic, so if he chose to phrase it that way, it was for Kurt. "You felt comfortable enough then to- start… discovering it on your own?" Sebastian said, but he didn't look more satisfied with his words. "I don't really know how else to put it" he scratched his nape.

"It's okay" Kurt smiled at him. "I get it" he nodded. Then he bit the inside of his mouth, because he had to talk now. "I don't think I did, though" Kurt admitted, awkwardly. "I- um… didn't really- feel the need to further investigate… on my own" he explained. "I mean… I didn't know there was more to know" he added, witnessing how Sebastian's pupils dilated.

The boy was obviously containing his surprise, but Kurt could see it on his eyes. He didn't feel offended, though, because Sebastian's hand kept stroking him reassuringly.

"You do now?" Sebastian asked, calmly.

Kurt turned his head and hid it on the pillow, embarrassed. "I don't know" he mumbled.

"Kurt, I can't hear you if you hide your mouth" Sebastian told him amused, and dug up Kurt's head. "Don't feel embarrassed with me, I'm not judging you" the boy smiled at him, truly. "I just want to understand you, really."

Sebastian's calm and casual expression relaxed Kurt a little. Kurt sighed. "Okay" he nodded, sifting to lay on his back now. He stared at the ceiling.

"So… you don't know if you want to… _further investigate_?" Sebastian repeated, and this time he smirked cheekily. Kurt slapped his arm, blushing. Sebastian chuckled and grabbed Kurt's hand. He kissed it, playfully.

It didn't help diminish Kurt blush, so he looked back at the ceiling again.

"Is it too weird that I don't?" Kurt asked, conflicted. "I mean… when I hear you say 'listening to your body', it sounds great but… I guess it's never been my priority" he admitted, then looked back at Sebastian. "But it should, shouldn't it?" Kurt asked regretful.

Sebastian shook his head, still holding Kurt's hand. "No, it's not an obligation, Kurt" he said, calmly. "There's not a 'should' on what people feel. Maybe you listen more to your inner self, or something" the boy commented, thoughtful. "I mean, you tend to overthink a little" he chuckled, but cut it short when locking eyes with Kurt. "Ahem, and maybe I tend to _over-listen_ to my body" he added, amused.

Kurt chuckled too, rolling his eyes. "You have a point, though" Kurt meditated it. "I mean… mind and body are tangled up, aren't they?" he asked rhetorically. "But… how do you do that?" he rolled on his back, resting his weight now on his right side to face Sebastian. "How do you listen to your body?" he looked at Sebastian expectantly.

Sebastian returned the look, but it seemed like Kurt's question had got him by surprise. It took him a few seconds to react. "I guess… you pay attention to it?" Sebastian suggested, a little dubious. "You don't ignore what your guts tell you, or avoid acting on it, I think" the boy arched his eyebrow, thoughtfully. "I'd never had to think about it…" Kurt smiled at him, though. Sebastian returned it. "Let's try something" he proposed, suddenly looking excited.

Kurt casted him a suspicious look. "Okay" he agreed, anyway. If only for how cute Sebastian looked when he was excited.

"Great" Sebastian said, then bit his lip. "You're gonna tell me one of those fantasies and we're gonna make it real" he smirked, cheekily.

Kurt gulped down. "Oh" _Crap_. "Can't we use one of yours?" he asked, frantically.

Sebastian rubbed Kurt's sides reassuringly, but the cocky smile didn't leave his features. "We sure can – eventually, babe" he said, amused. "Not tonight, though."

Kurt closed his eyes and made a face, feeling defeated. "Fine" he agreed, reluctantly. "You're so mean" he pouted, but came closer to Sebastian and looked at his chest. "Could I…" Kurt mumbled, unsure, "um- hide my head there… while I tell you?" he asked, timidly.

Sebastian smiled incredulously, then puckered his lips containing a chuckle. "Oh, Kurt" the boy said, moved and amused at the same time. "I _so_ wanna make fun of you right now" he admitted, but sighed, playfully. "Okay. You can hide there."

Kurt didn't give it a second thought and rested his head there, wrapping one arm around Sebastian. He sighed. "Okay. I'm ready."

Sebastian chuckled quietly. "Shoot."

"Okay" Kurt repeated, taking a deep breath. "Back in high school, on my sophomore year… I was a cheerleader" he blurted out.

They fell in silence. Kurt couldn't see Sebastian's reaction, nor did he want to. But the boy felt a little tense all of a sudden.

"No way" Sebastian breathed out. He sounded shocked.

Kurt nodded, then realised Sebastian might not get that was what he was doing. "No kidding" he admitted.

"Wow" Sebastian made, less tense now. "I can't believe I missed that. Dammit" he sounded quite frustrated.

Kurt chuckled, more relaxed now. "Oh, I'm very glad you did" he admitted. "You would've mocked me forever."

"Ps- duh!" Sebastian chuckled, then brought his hands to Kurt's hair and stroked it. "Then I would've bribed you to give me a private pass…" he said suggestively.

Kurt shivered. "Really?"

"Well, that depends. Did your uniform include one of those insanely lascivious skirts?" Sebastian asked, intrigued.

Kurt slapped him playfully. "Of course not, Sebastian! Have you never seen a male cheerio?" he asked, outraged.

"I have not" Sebastian chuckled. "But I really hope that is where your story is going, though" he suggested.

Kurt bit his lip nervously. "Maybe."

"By all means – carry on" Sebastian said, suggestively.

Kurt rolled his eyes, but soon enough he felt incredibly nervous again. This was the hard part. "Well… you can imagine the rest" he said, evasively.

"I _really_ cannot" Sebastian breathed out, exaggerating his confusion.

Kurt resented Sebastian's lack of cooperation and rubbed his forehead against the boy's chest.

"Marble…" Sebastian said, caressing Kurt's nape. "This is aimed at helping you" he said calmly, with a kind tone. "Do _I_ enjoy seeing you all freaked out and embarrassed? _Sure_" Kurt pinched him, "_ouch_, but that's just a collateral perk" he chuckled. "Seriously, though. I enjoy much more the fact that you let me know what you wish, Kurt" Sebastian added.

Kurt dug up his head and couldn't help but locking eyes with him. He casted Sebastian a small smile and held the weight of his head on his chin. He would not hide anymore.

"When I wore that uniform I felt unexpectedly powerful" Kurt commented. "I was more respected, less bullied-"

"What?" Sebastian asked, perplexed. "You… you were bullied?"

Kurt was taken aback by Sebastian's concerned expression. "Well, yeah- I mean, it's obvious, isn't it?" Kurt said, giving Sebastian a side smile.

But Sebastian didn't find it funny. "It is not" he stated, then bit his lip, annoyed. "Fucking public schools" he murmured, outraged.

"Bas" Kurt said, scratching Sebastian's chest. "I put that far behind me a long time ago – don't worry" he told Sebastian sincerely.

Sebastian didn't look so convinced. "Kurt, it's no wonder why you've never felt comfortable with yourself. Those things destroy people's self-perception" he explained.

Kurt felt a little unsure. He had always been quite certain that all the bullying had only made him stronger. "I- I never really listened to them" Kurt insisted, although right now he was more trying to convince himself than Sebastian. "It just made me bitchier" he joked, awkwardly.

Sebastian gave him a dubious look, but let it be. "Well, we're working on that now, anyway" he said, suddenly confident. "Tell me the rest of your fantasy."

Kurt nodded. He decided not to protest anymore. "It was quite simple" he side smiled. "I just fantasized I'd get the attention of some young, hot, smart teacher. Who, in my mind, would always wear suit and tie" Kurt explained. Sebastian smiled at him. _Okay_, it hadn't been _that_ hard. "Oh, there's something else" he suddenly remembered, "the suit and tie were ultimately replaced by Dalton's uniform when I met…" he stopped, a little self-aware.

Sebastian looked a little uncertain. "If this fantasy was about Blaine I'm not sure I can go through with it" he chuckled, awkwardly.

Kurt shook his head, blushing furiously. "Oh, no, no, no" he assured Sebastian, although his deduction was quite understandable. "I meant that when I met Blaine, and then attended Dalton, well… the teachers' uniform was quite similar so…" Kurt fidgeted with his own hand. "So I started imagined a Dalton teacher" he cleared his throat. "My fantasy worked with someone older, you know?" he joked, awkwardly.

Sebastian nodded, visibly relieved. "Okay" he looked around, thoughtful. "You think a Dalton uniform will do, then?"

Kurt regarded him suspiciously. "What?" he asked, nervously.

"I know I'm not older either, but…" the boy smiled, cheekily, "I have the uniform here… call me a sentimental, but I brought it to New York" he joked.

Kurt gulped down. _Crap_, did that mean they would play it for real? "Oh, you don't have to… I mean, I feel better already" he said.

Sebastian chuckled. "Liar" he accused Kurt. "Now. Where's your cheerio's uniform?" he arched an eyebrow, amused.

"Ohio" Kurt rushed to say, then smiled awkwardly. "It's a pity, I know, but-"

"So if I go to your apartment now, you're telling me I won't find it in your wardrobe, is that it?" Sebastian cut him, studying Kurt's expression thoroughly.

Kurt tried to avoid Sebastian's gaze, but that'd only seem more suspicious. "I- I- yeah, you won't" he said, too trembling to be convincing.

Sebastian smirked, suggestively, and stared at Kurt for a few seconds. Kurt didn't know where to hide. Sebastian got up then, casting Kurt a malicious smile. "Get dressed. We're doing this."

_Just kill me already_, Kurt thought, desperately.


	26. Chapter 26

Thank you thank you thank you for reading/reviewing ^^ lots of love to all of you!

P.s. I don't own glee.

P.s.2. Did I say thank you? :)

P.s.3. Soo.. I don't really know what you'll think of this chapter.. Let me know if there's something you don't understand, because maybe I failed to make Andy-storyline and Kurt's reaction completely clear. I hope not, though :)

* * *

"Kurt, come out already!" Sebastian shouted from the bedroom.

Kurt contemplated himself in the mirror. He was wearing a cheerio uniform that made him look ridiculous. It didn't used to suit him that badly, though. His body had changed, that was all. But what it used to make him feel powerful, now it made him feel like he was about to engage on a porno.

"Sebastian, I look terrible" Kurt groaned from the bathroom. "It doesn't fit me anymore. I look like a pervert" he lamented.

Kurt heard Sebastian's chuckle and rolled his eyes.

"Kurt, if you don't come out now, I'll go in there" Sebastian threatened him.

Kurt snorted. What a threat. "Oh, and what are you going to do to me?" he giggled, amused.

The door slammed open then, making Kurt startle. Sebastian came in, bringing his cell phone to take a picture of Kurt. Kurt screamed and ran to hide on the shower, but Sebastian lowered down the phone and just observed him, mesmerised.

The boy wouldn't move, or say anything. He just stood there, observing Kurt.

"Bas?" Kurt asked, tentatively.

Sebastian raised his eyes then from Kurt's arms and locked them with Kurt's eyes. He cleared his throat. "Get your ass in my bedroom now" he stated, fiercely.

Kurt's eyes widened with surprise, but he did just as told. He knew better than to discuss Sebastian's fierceness by now.

Kurt sat down on the bed and bit the inside of his mouth, waiting for Sebastian to join him.

"Hummel?" Sebastian asked, standing under the doorframe.

Kurt raised an eyebrow at Sebastian. _Hummel? _"Smythe?" he asked, amused.

Sebastian casted him a murderous look. "_Kurt, I take my acting very seriously_" he murmured, then rolled his eyes and folded his arms.

Kurt couldn't help but chuckle. _What the hell?_

"What are you doing here, Hummel? I find this highly inappropriate" Sebastian stated, coldly, though he was devouring Kurt with his eyes.

Kurt felt weirdly aroused. What was he supposed to say now? He got up, alarmed. "Oh, I'm sorry, mister-" he babbled, uncertain. Sebastian's aggressiveness helped getting into character – for a brief moment, Kurt felt inappropriate indeed. Of course, he was wearing that ridiculous uniform, so that helped too.

"Mister Smythe for you" Sebastian cut him, with a serious expression. "Is this supposed to be funny? What are you even wearing?"

Kurt looked down at his own clothes, certainly embarrassed. He looked up at Sebastian again, and suddenly took in his Dalton uniform. It was weird. It was like seeing the old Sebastian, although his hair was longer.

"My old cheerio uniform" Kurt commented, more regained now. "You don't like it?" Words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He came tentatively closer to Sebastian, feeling awkward. _This is ridiculous._

Sebastian smirked cheekily. "I never said that" he said, hoarsely. He wetted his lips and Kurt caught the movement. He wetted his own too.

"You're sure? Because I can always take it off…" Kurt said, dying to take off that ridiculous "outfit".

Sebastian probably read right through him, because he shook his head, slowly, and clicked his tongue. "What's the rush?" he asked, suggestively. "You clearly wanted me to see it, Hummel" he smirked, cockily.

Kurt nodded and looked down, playing the shy student. "_Oh_, I don't know what took over me, sir."

"Mister Smythe" Sebastian corrected him. Kurt looked up and frowned. Was that really important? "_What? I prefer it_" Sebastian whispered, shrugging. They shared a furtive smile after that.

Sebastian approached him, quickly going back to character. He placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder and whispered on his ear: "I think you do, Hummel".

Sebastian sighed then, pretending to be concerned. "What am I gonna do with you, Hummel?" he rubbed his forehead. "I should report you for this. Sneaking into your teacher's bedroom… that is _so_ wrong" he emphasised, biting his lip.

"And yet feels so right?" Kurt finished the line, giggling. Such a cliché.

Sebastian casted him a resented look, then his expression got suddenly cheeky. The boy grabbed a chair and placed it right in front of a wall mirror, not facing it, though. Sebastian sat down, his back turned on the mirror.

"Why are you here, Hummel? You probably had something in mind when you sneaked into my room, didn't you?" he asked, straightforwardly.

It was around 9 p.m., so the lightning was quite poor. Kurt reached to turn on a lamp, but Sebastian clicked his tongue.

"I- um…" Kurt rubbed his head, nervously. He wasn't particularly good at role games. "I came to see you, I guess?" he asked, tentative.

Sebastian nodded, encouraging him. "Why? What did you expect it would happen?" Sebastian asked casually, pretending to be oblivious.

Kurt rolled his eyes. Sebastian patted his own thigh and casted Kurt a lustful look, telling him to come and sit down on him.

Kurt approached him, slowly, and sat down on Sebastian's lap, awkwardly. He bit his lip, uncertain of how to proceed.

"You came here to seduce me, Hummel?" Sebastian asked, hands off Kurt. It was hard not to notice this, since his hands were usually all over Kurt. Of course, this wasn't "Sebastian"; this was "Mr. Smythe".

Kurt gave him an awkward smile and nodded, then looked down.

Sebastian sighed, exasperated. "Okay. I might let you" he said, making Kurt a gesture with his head that Kurt read as 'do something!'

Kurt turned to face him, reluctantly, and placed his hands on Sebastian's clavicles, caressing them.

Sebastian shook his hands off. "What do you think you're doing?" he said, wincing. "I said I might. You gotta earn the right to touch me first" he smirked, maliciously.

Kurt sighed, tiredly. "Oh, come on!" he stood up. "Bas, I appreciate the effort, but this is ridiculous, really" he shook his head.

Sebastian stood up too, but he looked irritated. "Kurt, I'm making it super easy, for Christ's sake" he said, impatiently. "And you're not even cooperating."

"Because I don't really see the point" Kurt told him, carefully. He wrinkled his nose.

Sebastian grabbed Kurt's waist then, tightly. "Listen to me. The point is to make you feel empowered. To consciously give your body what it wants" he lowered down his voice, making it rougher, "what it _craves_…" he emphasised. "I want you to sit on my lap and watch yourself in the mirror while you become aware of what you have in your hands, okay? You've got me there. You just need to take me. So get yourself what you want and make me give in" he demanded Kurt, fiercely.

Kurt felt a chill down his spine, Sebastian's words echoing on his head. He wanted to feel like that. Empowered. Aware. _Hell_, he was already feeling like that just because of Sebastian's convincing attitude.

He nodded, then followed Sebastian to the chair, and sat on his lap. He caught a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror and observed it, feeling like he was contemplating a stranger.

"What do you see?" Sebastian asked him, when Kurt wouldn't pull his eyes away from his reflection.

Kurt noticed then that Sebastian's hands were on his sides, rubbing him reassuringly. He couldn't help but smile.

"I see a lucky guy" Kurt whispered. "Because he's about to get himself a very, _very_ attractive man" he smirked, feeling calmer.

Sebastian smirked back at him. "Really? And how is he gonna do that?"

"Well, I've got a couple of ideas… but since you're the teacher here, I was thinking you could… give me a few notes?" Kurt asked, smiling shyly.

"Oh, I don't know Hummel…" Sebastian made a face. "See, I may be the teacher here, but I certainly have no experience in dealing with cheeky, young men like you."

Kurt damned the other boy in his head. Reversed roles, huh?

Kurt smoothed Sebastian's tie, then grabbed it to bring the boy closer. "_In my fantasies, I usually played the shy student, not the whore one_" he murmured.

Sebastian chuckled. "_You need to get out of your comfort zone, babe_" he winked, then cleared his throat and his expression got oblivious once again.

"Fine" Kurt sighed. "You could've fooled me, though… I've seen the way you look at me" Kurt smiled shyly, playing with Sebastian's tie.

Sebastian folded his arms. "Oh, really? And what would that be?" he asked, sarcastically.

Kurt rubbed his bottom against Sebastian's lap very fast and very discreetly while he crossed his legs. And _very intentionally_. "Well, your eyes don't lie… Mr. Smythe" Kurt added, since Sebastian seemed to like hearing that. He wetted his lips and stared right at Sebastian's eyes. "I think you want to devour me" Kurt whispered, feeling weirdly encouraged by Sebastian's hand drawing circles on his thigh now. Somehow, his thigh was always a soft spot when it came to Sebastian.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at Kurt, looking impressed.

Kurt brought his fingertips to Sebastian's eyes, and closed them gently. "Forget I'm younger than you" Kurt whispered on Sebastian's ear. He uncrossed his legs and grazed Sebastian's crotch again. Sebastian groaned almost imperceptibly, but Kurt caught it.

Kurt took a hold on Sebastian's blazer and smoothed it down, running his hand along Sebastian's torso. "When I see you every morning on this blazer… I can barely focus on anything else" Kurt whispered again.

Sebastian smirked, his eyes still closed. "You should repress those thoughts, Hummel… they won't do you any good" he faked his concern.

"I'm tired of repressing myself, Mr. Smythe" Kurt smoothed Sebastian's shirt now, under the blazer, and moved his seating position slightly again just to tickle Sebastian's crotch. "I just need to get it out of my system… so I can be a good student again. Don't you want me to be _your_ good student again?" Kurt whispered on Sebastian's ear, while he caressed Sebastian's neck with his free hand.

Sebastian opened his eyes then, and they looked somewhat more affected.

"Won't you help me, Mr. Smythe?" Kurt asked again, and right now he couldn't really say if that was the acting talking. Almost unconsciously, his hips started rotating very, very slowly, and his butt was once again brushing against Sebastian's intimate parts. "I'll do anything you want me to – anything" Kurt murmured, feeling incredibly aroused himself.

They locked eyes then and just rubbed against each other, keeping the stare. Sebastian bit his lip, containing himself, and Kurt felt the other boy's erection now pressed hard against his butt. He smirked, feeling twistedly proud, and brought his lips to Sebastian's neck.

"Anything" Kurt murmured again, more affectedly, and nibbled on it.

Sebastian groaned. "Anything?" he breathed out, hoarsely. "Why? Why me?" Apparently the boy still had the energy to keep playing, which surprised Kurt, who was mentally celebrating his victory now.

Kurt frowned and looked at Sebastian, a little uncertain. Sebastian smirked and winked at him, grabbing Kurt's T-shirt and bringing him impossibly closer. He attacked his ear: "_We're not breaking character until this is over_" Sebastian said, breathing agitatedly. "_You're fucking amazing at this – keep going_" he bit Kurt's neck and greeted his skin with his tongue, very briefly. He let go of Kurt then.

Kurt regarded the boy in front of him at awe, his neck still tickling and craving for more. _Fuck_, he wanted Sebastian to be himself. The role game was fun but… Sebastian's natural being was way more _fun_.

"Why me?" Sebastian repeated, when he noticed Kurt wouldn't move.

_"Oh_" Kurt realised he had spaced out then, and quickly ordered his hips to resume its moving. "Well, um… because I want you" Kurt simply said, feeling a little rusty. He cleared his throat, awkwardly. "I- um… _crap_" he went blank. He looked around, trying to get in the mood for acting again.

Sebastian chuckled. "Did I affect you that much?" he murmured, jokingly.

Kurt gave him a small smile and tried hard to remember what his last thought had been before the interruption. His hips stopped again.

"Sorry" Kurt whispered, regretful. "Give me a minute" he told Sebastian, closing his eyes and rubbing his own temples, trying to concentrate.

Sebastian snorted and grabbed Kurt's hands to kiss 'em. "It's okay, babe. Let's give it a break" he placed a wet kiss on Kurt's neck too.

Kurt regarded Sebastian with curiosity, his skin once again warm and tickling in the spot Sebastian had just kissed. "You know? It was your fault, really" he teased.

Sebastian faked shock. "My fault?" he asked, outraged. "I killed my part – the whole prude, rigid guy thing. Hu." He snorted, pretending to be upset.

"Exactly" Kurt agreed. "Then you showed me your true colours and I lost all interest in that guy, which kind of made me wonder how you've possibly been able to be so patient with me" Kurt shook his head, incredulous.

Sebastian arched and eyebrow. "What do you mean?" he patted Kurt's thigh.

Kurt scratched his head. "Well… the whole reversed roles thing… I could see myself in you, and it was such a bore" he rolled his eyes, amused. "_God_, how can you put up with that? Am I that inaccessible?" Kurt asked, a little concerned now.

Sebastian wrapped his arms around Kurt's torso. "What are you talking about?" he said, surprised. "I was playing the two-faced, Kurt – you know? The 'I like to play hard but I'm actually the easiest'; that sort of thing" Sebastian explained. "You're nothing like that, marble" he cupped Kurt's cheeks and gave him a teasing bite on the nose.

Kurt felt somewhat better, but… "What about the nervousness and… the shyness, doesn't that unnerve you?" he asked, feeling paradoxically a little coy himself while asking so.

Sebastian smirked surprised, then narrowed his eyes at Kurt. "Maybe I don't generally like it, to be honest" the boy said, still rubbing Kurt's torso. "In your case, though… well, it's- it's _you_, and you _really_ turn me on" he whispered, then nibbled Kurt's chin. "Everything you do _really_ turns me on" Sebastian whispered just inches away from Kurt's ear, making Kurt shiver.

Kurt relaxed and stroked Sebastian's chest, which felt warm and welcoming under the blazer. "This blazer hides your amazing arms, you knew that?" he asked, cheekily.

Sebastian squeezed Kurt's sides and gave him a bright smile. "Help me take it off, then."

Kurt got rid of the jacket and started loosening the tie, which unintentionally brought Sebastian closer, but it felt great.

"You look fucking hot in your uniform, by the way – I just couldn't tell you earlier" Sebastian panted on Kurt's neck, his hands thrusting to get under the fabric, but the t-shirt fitted Kurt too tightly. He groaned, frustrated.

Kurt didn't give it a second thought and started lifting the t-shirt, but it was harder than he had guessed. "Um- I'm gonna need some help with this" he smiled awkwardly.

Kurt raised his hands and Sebastian pulled the t-shirt all the way up, with certain difficulty. It got a little stuck on Kurt's head, but after a couple of tries, it was off.

"_God_, I thought I'd choke" Kurt joked when it was finally on the floor, but then his chest was quickly attacked by Sebastian's mouth.

Kurt made the quick decision to change his sitting position to sit himself looking directly at Sebastian, wrapping his legs around Sebastian's torso tightly. "Mph, this chair is so uncomfortable – yet so exciting" Kurt lamented, Sebastian's lips everywhere around his chest, nibbling thoroughly on his skin. He groaned affectedly, and started unbuttoning Sebastian's shirt.

"Watch yourself" Sebastian demanded Kurt then, making him startle.

"What?" he narrowed his eyes at Sebastian, not following.

Sebastian chose that precise moment to slip his hand under Kurt's tight cheerio trouser, reaching with difficulty to massage Kurt's boner, over the fabric of his underwear. Kurt gasped. "The mirror" Sebastian stated with a low voice, then sucked Kurt's left nipple.

Kurt gasped again, and brought his eyes to meet his reflection on the mirror. _Wow_. He looked so… suggestive. Pornographic, almost. _Dear Gaga_, was that his sex-face?

No matter how hard Kurt tried to put on a straight face, Sebastian's lips on his nipple and his hand on Kurt's crotch was obviously getting under Kurt's skin, and his sex-face kept meeting him.

"I look wild" Kurt breathed out, unconsciously thrusting his crotch against Sebastian's hand, feeling harder every second. "_God_, don't stop" he mumbled.

"Finger me" Sebastian said, biting Kurt's nipple right then. Kurt moaned loudly and had to close his eyes, because he didn't even recognize himself on his reflection anymore. "Finger me" Sebastian repeated, this time cupping Kurt's chin with his free hand. "You're gonna top tonight" he stated, seriously.

Kurt studied Sebastian's expression fascinated. "You want me to?" he asked, feeling kind of dumb.

Sebastian nodded and attacked Kurt's neck then, aggressively. Kurt looked at himself in the mirror again, and saw a couple of hickeys on his chest. One of those had to be from last night; the other was fresh. He shook the thought away and run his hands all the way down Sebastian's back until he reached the belt. He brought them to the front then and undid the belt.

Kurt greeted Sebastian's erection briefly, barely caressing it, then took a hold on the waistband of Sebastian's underwear and moved his fingertips slowly until he was on Sebastian's backside again. Sebastian's hole was just a few inches away. Kurt rested his chin on Sebastian's shoulder, trying not to deprive the boy too much of his neck, but he needed some sort of visual with Sebastian's back.

Sebastian's hand left Kurt's crotch then, and Kurt actually appreciated it, because there was no way he could keep it on his pants much longer. Plus, he needed to concentrate on his "task".

First, he just brushed his fingertips over Sebastian's hole, over the fabric. Kurt was acting intuitively, doubling his care because this was Sebastian, but also, because this was the way he'd like to be stretched too.

He raised his hand and brought to his own lips then, and, making sure that Sebastian was still busy with his neck, Kurt timidly licked his fingers, feeling extremely self-aware because of the freaking mirror he had in front of him. He tried not to lose his focus and brought his hand back to Sebastian's back.

He slipped his hand under the fabric of the briefs and just stroked Sebastian's ass cheeks, softly. Then, he put the same pressure when caressing Sebastian's entrance, tentatively. He draw a circle around the hole with his index finger, then brushed it against the spot, without entering it yet.

Sebastian's breath got somewhat more unsteady, and his hands found also Kurt's ass, stroking it hardly over the clothes.

Kurt decided to introduce one finger then, to see Sebastian's tolerance, mostly. The boy seemed to take it well, arching his back a little against the chair.

"You okay?" Kurt whispered, anyway, caressing Sebastian's nape with his other hand.

Sebastian locked eyes with him then and nodded. He looked serious, but also willing and committed. Kurt captured his lips on a smooth, slow kiss, and started moving his finger inside Sebastian.

The boy gasped a little, parting his lips momentarily from Kurt's. It was brief though, because he was kissing Kurt again just a few seconds later.

Kurt didn't want to rush it, so he just kept kissing and caressing Sebastian for a while, until the boy felt unmistakably comfortable with the touch.

"Add another" Sebastian whispered against Kurt's lips, expectant.

Kurt gradually greeted Sebastian's skin with his other finger until it was completely inside. Sebastian panted again, and Kurt got a little worried.

"Bas, are you comfortable? We can st-"

"Keep going" Sebastian shushed him, his lips taking a hold on Kurt's chin. He devoured the skin he met along the way.

Kurt moaned, losing visual with Sebastian's back, but right now he really didn't need it. He started moving his fingers again, slowly, gently, not putting too much pressure.

"You're doing it great, Kurt" Sebastian whispered, reassuringly.

But Kurt knew he could do better. Acting on an impulse, he grabbed Sebastian's crotch and stroked it, then moved his fingers inside him on a particular direction, putting more pressure this time.

Sebastian gasped, maybe feeling a little sore, but Kurt hoped that the pleasure from his front parts would diminish the possible pain he might get from the back ones.

"Try- try a third one" Sebastian whispered, his nails grabbing Kurt's ass fiercely.

Kurt wanted to do just as told, but he knew that would be not entirely pleasant for Sebastian, at least not from the beginning.

He barely pressed his third finger along the butt crack, and felt Sebastian already wincing. "Your body's getting tense, Bas" Kurt told him, "let's wait a little" he suggested, tentatively.

"No" Sebastian shushed him again, "I'll relax eventually, I always do" he assured Kurt. "Try a third" he said, staring right at Kurt.

Kurt introduced his third finger and waited to see Sebastian's response before moving it. The boy bit his lip and Kurt stroked his erection, to make up for the soreness.

"Let's go to bed, Bas" Kurt cupped his cheek, and removed his hand from Sebastian's back. Sebastian nodded, compliant, and grabbed Kurt's forearm, letting Kurt guide him.

They laid down on bed and Kurt placed himself on top of Sebastian. He got rid of Sebastian shirt, then his shoes; all his movements very slow and calm. Then, when he was about to approach Sebastian again, the boy sat up and took a hold on Kurt's gymnastic trousers, putting them down. Kurt let him and threw them on the floor.

He hovered over Sebastian then, and watched the boy putting down his zipper and pulling down his trousers along with his briefs, getting completely naked.

Kurt gulped down, aroused by what he saw. Sebastian laid on his back and grabbed Kurt's hands, leaving them on Kurt's waistband. Kurt took the hint and threw his underwear away.

They stared at each other, fully naked and expectant. Kurt placed his arms on both sides of Sebastian's head, to hold his weight and not crash him. Sebastian smiled at him, playfully, like a kid who knows that he's about to be given a present.

Kurt kissed his lips with want, and soon enough he felt Sebastian's hands cupping his erection. Kurt moaned against his lips, but let Sebastian jerk him.

"We- can use some lube, if you want" Kurt told him, his hand wandering slowly to Sebastian's back.

Sebastian shook his head. "I don't have any, babe" he placed a wet peck on Kurt's cheek. "But you can get me there" he whispered, then grabbed Kurt's hand and introduced two fingers on his own hole, abruptly – he retrieved his hand then.

It took Kurt a little by surprise, but he started moving his fingers inside Sebastian. The bed granted him a better disposition, so he grabbed one of Sebastian's legs with his other hand and raised it a bit, his fingers now looking for Sebastian's prostate.

After a few tries, he heard Sebastian moan loudly and he knew he had hit it. Kurt added a third finger then and kept the pressure for a while until he felt Sebastian relax against himself.

"I think it'll be more comfortable for you if you lay face-down" Kurt whispered, removing his hand from Sebastian's back.

Sebastian nodded and grabbed a condom from the nightstand, handing it over to Kurt. Their hands met, and Sebastian closed his own around Kurt's. Kurt looked up at him but Sebastian moved forwards to kiss him impulsively, tightening his hold on Kurt's hand while doing so. Kurt received Sebastian's lips enthusiastically, and his mouth became quickly wet.

"I won't have much access to your lips for a while, so…" Sebastian smirked, cheekily, and broke the kiss.

Kurt gave him a small smile. "I'll make sure you do" he promised.

Sebastian laid down then, face down, and Kurt hurried to put the condom on. He observed Sebastian lying down on the mattress, presenting Kurt with his butt at full display, casting him an expectant look. Kurt ran a hand along Sebastian's back, caressing his tanned skin slowly.

He leaned down and kissed all the way down until he reached Sebastian's butt. Kurt stroked his ass-cheeks, and pushed all self-awareness away when greeting Sebastian's entrance with his mouth. He barely brushed his lips against the sensitive skin, but it was enough to make Sebastian arched his back affectedly. The boy moaned deeply.

That only encouraged Kurt more to do it again, and again, until he caught a glimpse of Sebastian's right hand trying desperately to take a hold on something, with no luck. Kurt grabbed it and held it tight, intertwining his fingers with Sebastian's, then brushed his tongue one last time against Sebastian's hole.

Kurt kissed his way back to Sebastian's neck and covered Sebastian with his own body, still not letting go of his hand. He met Sebastian's cheek and looked for his lips, kissing them reassuringly while he brushed Sebastian's entrance with his cock now.

With his free hand Kurt held Sebastian's waist and thrust inside him. Sebastian groaned and tensed up slightly, so Kurt kept kissing him. The first thrusts were probably not the easiest or most comfortable, and for a moment Kurt seriously considered to get off Sebastian. But soon enough they found a rhythm.

After a while, they both relaxed and started to enjoy it. Kurt forgot about Sebastian's lips and instead his mouth just covered any random inch of skin it met. Sebastian moaned deeper every time.

Both of them appeared to be ecstatic with their own sensations. Kurt had never topped before, and it was quite something else. He couldn't quite say what he liked more, but it made him feel kind of empowered. It made him feel a weird responsibility towards Sebastian he had never felt so far.

When it was over, Kurt tumbled down over Sebastian, and he tiredly wrapped his arms around him. Kurt was sure they both had enjoyed it, he knew that, but there was an inevitable part of him that felt insecure. Sebastian was an experienced boy, and sometimes it intimidated him.

Sebastian kissed Kurt's shoulder then, which was the only spot he had access from his position. It shook Kurt out of his inner monologue, and all doubt dissipated.

/

How often could a human body endure turning over a new leaf? Starting over? Kurt felt like he had endured too many "rebirths" for one summer. Frankly, both his nerves and his spirit could use a break.

First, it had been getting used to life without Sebastian. This had occurred even before Kurt knew that would be what he'd have to do. Before Kurt knew Sebastian would be leaving so soon for France, back on his first week working at Vogue, Kurt had pictured two wonderful weeks that would be filled with memories of Sebastian and him ahead of them. Then, Sebastian had left all of a sudden, and Kurt had found himself having to come up with a full, fake energised attitude to face work.

Now, just as he had found that new energy within himself, Sebastian had come back, and there were, once again, two weeks ahead of them that made Kurt daydream about their future together. Two weeks before school started again.

Coming up with a positive, regained attitude during the summer hadn't been exactly easy for Kurt. It had required a lot of energy from him. And having Sebastian back supposed a readjustment. Kurt really wanted Sebastian back in his life, and they had spent a wonderful weekend together that, if anything, had been really promising. But it wasn't until Kurt went back to work on Monday and entered, once again, his summer routine when Kurt realised that another misstep with Sebastian would be fatal for him. It would make him lose his new mojo and it would mean having to start over, all over again. Another "rebirth". And he wasn't up for that.

So of course Kurt was worried. He couldn't really focus all morning, wondering where Sebastian and he stood. Wondering whether he'd have to phone Sebastian over the weekend and just pretend the boy didn't exist during the week, just like they used to do before Sebastian left for France.

He was quite certain that he'd miss Sebastian before the weekend, actually_ missing him _would be an understatement, and Kurt just didn't want to settle for so little. He did nothing about it, though. Mostly, because he felt blocked.

**From Sebastian S. (3:34 p.m.): You owe me a private pass, don't think I'm one to forget about those things…**

Kurt read the text when he came back from running an errand for Isabelle and his inner monologue shut off completely.

Suddenly, he didn't even remember what he had been worried about.

**To Sebastian S. (3:57 p.m.): I miss you too ;)**

/

So the rest of the week went by and Kurt barely had time to see Sebastian. He worked late every night, helping Isabelle out with an important presentation due Friday.

The text exchange kept coming, thankfully. And it didn't fail to brighten up Kurt's day.

**To Sebastian S. (11:17 a.m.): Can I have you for myself tomorrow night? :)**

Coming Thursday Kurt was more than eager to see Sebastian again, and didn't care to show it. What did he have to hide anymore? He was _all in_.

**From Sebastian S. (11:23 a.m.): Big party tomorrow. NYU. Wanna be my +1?**

Kurt got up abruptly and checked with Isabelle's receptionist to make sure she wasn't on a meeting. He needed major fashion advice. How should he dress for a NYU party? Scratch that. How should he dress to show off as Sebastian's +1? Maybe saying that he needed major girl advice was more accurate.

/

It was NYU' Homecoming festivity, and apparently it was a big deal. It wasn't just a regular dorm party, but an 'every NYU dorm' macroparty. Of course, no one needed a formal invitation to attend it, which made Sebastian's offer of being his +1 way cuter. Plus one. Just two silly, impossibly shorter words, and yet Kurt's chest hadn't stopped buzzing with excitement since he first read them.

And it seemed like he was gonna hear them a lot tonight. Every time Sebastian greeted some friend, the boy introduced Kurt as "Kurt Hummel, my plus one". At first, Kurt had found it funny even, but after a while he couldn't keep ignoring what it really meant: "I have no idea what you are to me."

_Fair enough_, Kurt didn't know that either, but after a while he just went for a self-introduction saying: "Kurt Hummel, NYADA" or, when he was feeling noticeably tipsier, "Kurt Hummel, Vogue's reporter." Some people looked impressed, other just shook their head ignoring him.

Kurt stopped drinking when he reached his third beer, though, which he called "his last regret", because he knew that if he went for a fourth, the third one would be the last he'd remember. Maybe it didn't make any sense, but _oh, well_, that was his third beer talking.

Sebastian's "friends" were actually really nice, Kurt kept noticing. He hadn't really had a chance to meet them properly in Sebastian's apartment party, since he had been too busy minding the host, but now that he actually had the chance, Kurt was glad that the boy had at least a bunch of nice acquaintances.

Because they weren't actually _friends_, that much Kurt could tell. There was one of them that might stand out a little more than the others, in terms of friendship, but after a few exchanges Kurt realised the boy didn't know much about Sebastian. The two of them just had an understanding. Kurt made a mental note to talk more to this particular guy. Then he wondered if that kind of reasoning would freak out Sebastian: the fact that Kurt was plotting to gain some friends for him, like a mom would do for his little children. Or maybe like a boyfriend would. Kurt shook the thought away.

"I'm sorry, but what did you say you knew Sebastian from again?" this boy asked Kurt. His name was John, and he had a very pretty girl hanging from his arm who just wouldn't let go of him easily. Kurt guessed it might be his girlfriend.

"Oh, I didn't" Kurt smiled politely. The guy was just making small conversation… wasn't him? Or was he asking Kurt if Sebastian and he were dating? "From high school" Kurt added, pondering how much he should let John know. "Not that we went to the same school – which we did, I mean… but not simultaneously" Kurt tried to explain, but it was actually kind of tricky. "We really met because of glee clubs competitions" he decided to go with that and smiled, looking for Sebastian to back him up, but the boy was gone all of a sudden.

"No way, Sebastian can sing?" the girl asked, with excited eyes.

Kurt nodded, animatedly. "Quite well, actually" he added.

"Yeah, babe" John told his girlfriend, "I told you when we went to Scandals, remember?"

The girl nodded and something probably clicked inside her because she hummed knowingly, like that had been memorable somehow. Or maybe she was too nosy not to remember stuff like that. Kurt couldn't quite tell just yet.

"Hm, I'm _so _jealous" Kurt pouted, "I wish I had seen that" he admitted, smiling coyly.

"I'm sure you'll have your chance some time; he's certainly not shy" John joked.

"Oh, I know" Kurt chuckled, knowingly.

"So how long have you two been together?" the girl blurted out. _Nosy_, that was what she was and Kurt had no doubt now.

He trembled, though. That was the hardest question ever. He scratched his nape and gave them a small smile, awkwardly. "Oh, we're not… I mean, _we are_, but it's- it's not like-" he babbled, incoherently. Thankfully, John casted him an understanding smile.

"Complicated, huh?" John offered nicely, and Kurt felt incredibly grateful.

Kurt smiled back and raised the cup to his lips, only to remember that it was empty. "I'm gonna get a refill" he said, seizing the chance to get out of the awkwardness. He shot them a smile and started walking aimlessly, not really remembering where the barrel was. Also, he wouldn't get a fourth beer.

Also, where the hell was Sebastian? Kurt felt a little uncomfortable all of a sudden. The dorm where they currently were was too crowded. Inevitably, he bumped into a short, brunette boy.

"Sorry" Kurt mumbled, not paying too much attention, but then the boy turned around and his jaw fell to the floor. "Bl- Blaine?" Kurt babbled, nervously. He felt incredibly sober again.

Blaine looked certainly a little shocked himself too. "Kurt" he simply stated, regarding him with uncertainty.

"Hey" Kurt found himself saying, when the silence got too awkward. He thought of asking something like 'what are you doing here?', but what if then Blaine asked him the same? It would be awkward, wouldn't it? Although it was kind of awkward already. "How you've been? How was your summer?" Kurt asked, somewhat pitchy.

"Great- real great" Blaine said equally pitchy, nodding for emphasis. "What about you? How's Vogue?" he added, animated.

Kurt smiled back at him, feeling less anxious. "Vogue's great, real great" he said, then realised he had used the exact same words that Blaine had and they stared at each other with a funny expression, containing a chuckle. "That wasn't awkward" Kurt joked.

"Not at all, nope" Blaine played along, and they relaxed a little. "So…" he looked around, curiously. "Are you here with Sebastian?" he asked, bluntly.

Kurt startled, taken aback, but tried to hide it. "Oh" he made, surprised, then he nodded. "I don't know where he is right now, though" he looked around too, not sure if he was looking for Sebastian or for a way out of this conversation. Probably the latter, since Sebastian's presence wouldn't really help.

Blaine nodded, and to Kurt's surprise, he didn't look upset, just… normal? "I came with my cousin Fred, you remember him, right?" he pointed at a chubby, big guy who was actually dressed too elegant for the occasion. Yet he was participating on a drinking contest, drinking directly from a barrel to the sound of an eager crowd who encouraged him to drink faster.

Kurt winced. "What happened to him?" he said before he could take it back, but Blaine was thankfully giggling.

"College happened to him" Blaine joked, "he's actually a lot nicer now" he commented.

"Good for him" Kurt said, nodding.

"Yeah" Blaine smiled brightly. "We've hung out a lot this summer. "I kind of needed to have fun, you know?"

Kurt studied Blaine's expression. He didn't look drunk, but he was unusually cheery. Maybe hanging with his drunky cousin had been good for him. "Yeah. I'm glad you did" he said, sincerely.

Blaine smiled and patted Kurt's back. "You look great, Kurt" he said, maybe smiling too bright for Kurt's comfort, but he tried to smile politely in return. "Tell Sebastian I don't wish to punch him anymore, okay?" he joked, then patted Kurt's back again and dropped his arm, preparing himself to go. "Have fun."

Kurt contemplated him and did his best to hide his surprise. He waved off Blaine and turned around too, processing the weirdly nice encounter. The contrast with the last one they had shared was too big not to notice. Yet this was a good thing, right? That they could greet each other like that. It was. Kurt just wasn't that naïve though, and decided not to get his hopes up, out of caution.

He paced the whole floor and found no sign of Sebastian, so he leaned against a wall and sighed. Suddenly his cell phone buzzed. Kurt took it out and realised he had several missed calls from a few minutes ago, and now a text message, from Sebastian.

**From Sebastian S. (11:49 p.m.): Go to room 43**

Kurt read the text twice, a little confused if he should feel aroused or concerned now. Clearly the first one, right? But he wasn't drunk enough to feel comfortable with hooking up with Sebastian on a stranger's bedroom. He needed some air now, mostly, but he went and looked for the room anyway.

Kurt didn't have to knock on the door because he was presented with an unpleasant image on the halls. It was Sebastian's, and the boy was seizing another guy by the collar and crashing him to the wall, aggressively. Kurt felt like he was about to choke for a moment, his eyes playing cruel tricks on him and imagining already the two of them kissing. Then he realised he knew the other guy. It was Andy, and Sebastian was far from kissing him. He was about to beat him up.

"Stop it" Kurt cried out, running alarmed towards them.

Sebastian turned to face him then and Andy took the chance to shake Sebastian off him, but he didn't run away. Kurt was about to shout something like 'run for your life!' when Sebastian grabbed Andy by the collar again and brought him to meet Kurt.

"This little piece of shit has something to tell you" Sebastian stated, clearly angry, and shook Andy in the process.

"Fine, fine! Let go of me, Sebastian! I'm not going anywhere" Andy assured him, rolling his eyes, tiredly.

Sebastian released his hold and folded his arms. "Okay, I'm waiting" he said coldly.

Kurt looked between the two of them, confused and paralysed. The situation wasn't as violent or as bad as he had imagined when he first saw them from a distance, but it was equally tense.

"Kurt" Andy said, catching his attention. "Sebastian says you don't remember what happened between us on Callbacks" the boy commented, uncomfortably.

Kurt's eyes widened with shock and he casted Sebastian a murderous look. "Um- uh…" he scratched his neck, awkwardly. Was this really necessary?

Sebastian stroked his arm then, comforting him. "It's not you who has to feel uncomfortable, Kurt. _You_" he turned around and eye-murdered Andy, "why can't I hear you talking?" he said, fiercely.

Andy sighed, clearly overwhelmed and leaned against the wall. "Fine" he said reluctantly, but he looked really confused. "I- I didn't know you were that wasted, Kurt, okay? I'm sorry" he said, and Kurt thought he looked honest, but Sebastian's hold on Kurt got tighter. Kurt noticed Sebastian didn't look less pissed. "Don't look at me like that" Andy said to Sebastian, defending himself. "We just made out, it's not a big deal" he protested.

Sebastian released Kurt's arm and grabbed Andy by the shoulders again. "_It is_ a big deal. I'm tired of seeing you getting boys drunk to get in their pants, you sick piece of shit" he said hoarsely and shook Andy again.

"Hey!" Kurt protested quickly and approached them, grabbing Sebastian's arms to release Andy, who was being severely crashed against the wall. "That's enough, Sebastian!" he told the boy off, feeling annoyed too.

Sebastian frowned and casted Kurt a shocked look. "Kurt, I'm not making this up!" Sebastian protested, then looked at Andy again. "This creep tried to take advantage of you! He says you two only stopped making out because an old crush of you appeared and you lost all interest" Sebastian explained.

_Adam_, Kurt thought and gulped down nervously, feeling a wave of relief for coming across Adam that night even if he didn't really remember it.

Andy looked angry too. "That's not fair" he said to Sebastian and pushed him, then turned to face Kurt. "Kurt, I would've never taken advantage of you, I swear to God!" he protested, looking desperate for all the attacks he was receiving.

Sebastian pushed him too. "What's wrong with you?" he said, irritated. "Let me tell you something, asshole – if you have to get them drunk, you're not respecting them. Get that into your thick head" he pushed Andy once more.

Andy looked about to cry right now, and Kurt just stood there paralysed again, really confused.

"I- I don't-" Andy babbled, biting his lip hardly and leaning against the wall again. "I just bought you a few shots, that's all" he murmured, but he was unable to lock eyes with Kurt. "Everybody drinks at parties and gets looser like that. I- I never thought I was-" he babbled, his voice weak now. "I never thought I was doing something wrong" he admitted.

Kurt felt really sorry for the blond boy. Even from the night Kurt first met him, he could notice Andy was not the smartest. But he would've never guessed he'd be actually _dangerous_. _Wow_. He had been oblivious, hadn't he? Ignorance usually provoked danger. And Sebastian was right. What Andy did was wrong, and someone had to open his eyes.

Sebastian scratched his nape, uncomfortably, when he saw Andy covering his eyes discreetly with one hand. He sighed.

"Let's catch some air" Sebastian said to Kurt and grabbed his arm again, gentler this time. He turned around one last time to face Andy. "You didn't do anything irreparable, okay?" he said, still fierce but somewhat regretful. "Not to Kurt, anyway…" he added, gulping down. "Just grow up and don't ever do that again, okay? You needed to learn that" he explained, and Andy finally raised his eyes to meet Sebastian's.

The boy nodded briefly and turned around to leave, walking right by them and looking like hell.

Sebastian sighed again and let go of Kurt's arm. "Look, I'm sorry if I-"

Kurt didn't even listen and hugged Sebastian impulsively.

"Thank you" Kurt murmured. "I- uh… I don't even know what to say. I feel like an idiot" he breathed out agitatedly, his body suddenly trembling.

"Kurt" Sebastian made, surprised, but didn't break the hug and stroked Kurt's back again. "What's wrong? Why are you trembling?"

"I-" Kurt had to gulp down, feeling nauseous. "I think I might be sick" he said, feeling kind of anxious.

Sebastian put an arm around him and directed him to the elevator. Kurt felt dizzy and remained silent.

They reached the roof and as soon as Kurt found a trash can, he started throwing up on it. He sat down on his knees and took of his jacket, needing to feel the fresh air directly on his nape. The urge to vomit stopped, thankfully.

Sebastian patted his back, reassuringly. "Was it the beer or was it…?" he asked, knowingly.

Kurt nodded. "It's not just Andy's fault, you know?" he said, still trembling slightly. "I, for once, was conscious when I accepted his first shots, and what he did is… I mean, people do that all the time" Kurt commented, nervously. "That doesn't make it any less wrong, but… I mean, if you hadn't warned him now, who knows what he might have done in a future" Kurt admitted, holding his belly. "That night at Callbacks, _I_ might have... Oh, God" he breathed out.

Sebastian stroked his shoulders. "You're too innocent, and... well, alcohol is not" he simply said. "We all lose control sometimes, you know?" he added, kindly. Kurt nodded, although he felt really irresponsible for not taking better care of himself. "You should put on your jacket – your body is starting to tremble again."

"Oh" Kurt made, and looked for his jacket but Sebastian handed it over to him. They locked eyes and Kurt just didn't know what to say, nor was he sure what he was feeling right now. Admiration, probably. He took the jacket and put it on. "It's all fun and games until it's not" he remembered, all of a sudden.

Sebastian casted him a small, sad smile and nodded.

They got up and approached the railing, taking in the overwhelming views of the building.

"Bas, I…" Kurt started to say, but stopped briefly when he felt Sebastian's hand on the small of his back. "I'm really glad I met you right now" he heard himself say.


	27. Chapter 27

Oh, wonderful readers! I'm sad to announce that this is the last chapter of the story. It's some sort of epilogue, some sort of closure. I hope I can write Kurtbastian again some time soon. Maybe a sequel, maybe the Samchel spin-off, or maybe something else. Anyway, thank you for sticking with the story and letting me know on your reviews that you liked it. I'm happier now than I was before I wrote this!

Ps. I don't own Glee.

* * *

_Two weeks later…_

"I was a freshman and I joined the Lacrosse team" Sebastian commented, his finger running along Kurt's naked back. "And there was this senior, super-hot guy – he was the captain, of course" the boy smirked, animatedly.

Kurt bit the inside of his mouth, but returned the smile. Well, sort of. "He was way older than you. And at that age is quite noticeable" Kurt tried to say jokingly, but he was actually a little shocked for freshman-Sebastian. "I mean… weren't you a little temerarious?" he giggled nervously.

Sebastian chuckled. "I really wasn't" he shook his head, amused. "I was kind of shy, actually" he told Kurt.

Kurt looked up from Sebastian's chest and narrowed his eyes at him. "Oh, really?" he asked, suspiciously.

Sebastian chuckled again and slapped playfully Kurt's shoulder. "I was!" he defended. "But that guy took my poor innocence away" he said, amused.

Kurt wasn't sure that was so amusing. He gulped down. "Well, did he at least court you?"

"Court me?" Sebastian asked, containing a laughter. "Oh, it was anything but a love story, babe" his finger kept running mindlessly along Kurt's skin, and Kurt was starting to find Sebastian's sense of humour somewhat unsettling. "He just got into my shower one day after practice. Our affaire lasted, at best, fifteen minutes."

Kurt looked up again, this time much more shocked. "What?" he asked, incredulously.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him, probably confused by Kurt's concerned tone. He contemplated Kurt for a few seconds. "It was consented, if that's what your freaked out expression is about" Sebastian said, slightly coldly.

Kurt bit his lip, wondering how he could speak up his mind without judging Sebastian or his experiences. "How did he treat you afterwards?" Kurt tried to ask casually.

Sebastian's straight expression remained unaltered. He shrugged. "We were never really friends."

Kurt wasn't really surprised to hear that, although he had idiotically hoped the story of Sebastian's first time would get better at some point. But apparently that was it. He stroked Sebastian's side with his hand.

"I think… you were too young to tell if it was consented" Kurt let slip, nervously. Sebastian rolled his eyes. "I'm just saying… that it probably took you by surprise, I mean…" Kurt said frantically. "Did you see that coming?" he asked, carefully.

"I was not stupid" Sebastian said, roughly. "Of course I noticed the way he looked at me. I was just too inexperienced to act on it, but I liked him" he defended.

Kurt felt confused. Even if he was completely and rationally sure that this guy had taken advantage of Sebastian, experiences usually shook reasoning up. But how could Sebastian see so clearly that Andy had aimed at taking advantage of Kurt, and yet being oblivious about this other guy?

"I'm sorry if I made it sound like I was judging" Kurt told him, trying to ease Sebastian's cold expression. "It just… didn't sound like he appreciated you to me" he casted Sebastian a small, tentative smile.

Sebastian regarded him mutely, but his eyes looked kind of heavy now. Kurt placed a kiss on his chest, lovingly: "And you're too good to be unappreciated."

Sebastian looked reluctant, but mostly, uncertain. "Kurt, I-… I don't always need to feel appreciated. I don't really care" he admitted. "Not everything needs to be _sunshine and rainbows_" he said, sarcastically.

Kurt tried hard not to take that personally, but he couldn't. He didn't want to. "Now you're being a jerk" he mumbled, somewhat annoyed, and sat up on bed.

Sebastian was certainly taken aback, and regretful. "Hey" he sat up too, and tentatively placed his hand on Kurt's arm, caressing it.

Kurt bit the inside of his mouth, trying to make sense of things. "You just mocked the way I see things, which I don't really mind, but…" he let slip, and locked eyes with Sebastian. "It's like you thought there's something wrong with appreciating people."

Sebastian's expression got softer, confused even. "I didn't realise that" he admitted, scratching his nape uncomfortably. "But I wasn't talking about people, Kurt" he defended, gentler now. "I was talking about me."

Kurt narrowed his eyes. "And what are you, then? If not people" he grabbed Sebastian's hand and held it tightly.

Sebastian looked away, biting his lip with a doubtful expression. "You got me there" he casted Kurt a small smile.

Kurt smiled back at him and they stared at each other, the atmosphere getting less tense. He came forwards then, feeling pulled like a magnet, but really slowly and tentatively, and kissed Sebastian on the lips. It was brief, but it eliminated any possible residual tension Kurt was feeling.

Sebastian rested his forehead on Kurt's and observed him with _fond_ eyes. Or at least that's what Kurt saw. "I appreciate you, Kurt" the boy whispered. "Don't doubt that" he stroked Kurt's torso, softly.

"I know" Kurt smiled. "I just hope you can find the way to appreciate yourself" he murmured, coyly.

Sebastian gulped down, nervously. "You could- show me?" he half-asked, half-suggested.

Kurt nodded, even if he had no clue where to start. Even if he felt little confident that he would know how to do such thing. But he did know he would try really hard. Something warm buzzed inside him and told him that he could.

"I like that" Sebastian whispered, kissing him softly on the temple.

Kurt wrapped his arms around him and half-hugged, half-felt Sebastian. Sebastian did the same and playfully made themselves roll to lay down on the mattress again.

"Let's not get out of bed. Ever" the boy smiled brightly, intertwining his legs with Kurt's.

Kurt giggled idiotically, then started taking little bites on Sebastian's arm. "Yes, because I sleep _so_ badly during the week" Kurt pouted, jokingly. "You know? No one crashes me, or wakes me up too brightly…" he continued, playfully.

Sebastian smirked proudly. "I can't really tell if you're joking or not right now" he chuckled.

Kurt puckered his lips, containing a too joyful smile. "Neither can I" he admitted.

"_Gosh_, you're so obvious it's embarrassing" Sebastian smiled cheekily, then bit Kurt's nose.

Kurt slapped him playfully on the hip and they fell in a pleasant silence, just caressing each other.

"Shy Sebastian…" Kurt hummed. "I wonder how that was" he commented after a while, kissing Sebastian's neck warmly, more than suggestively.

Sebastian casted him a weirdly thoughtful smile. "I'm still shy… sometimes" he added.

"When?" Kurt asked, curiously, and Sebastian's expression got somewhat indecisive.

"You should meet my grandfather" the boy commented, looking to the wall distractedly. "He can turn the most outspoken person into a bunch of nerves" he smiled, sadly.

Kurt regarded Sebastian with attention, taking in Sebastian's discomfort. "Edna's ex-husband?"

Sebastian nodded. "I wonder what she saw on him" the boy confessed, a little spaced out.

"How is he?" Kurt asked, carefully, equally surprised and scared by Sebastian's honest outburst. Scared because Kurt never knew how far he could push.

Sebastian locked eyes with Kurt then. His look didn't seem to focus on Kurt, though. He looked tired, all of a sudden. "He's a difficult person" the boy said straightforwardly. Then he looked away again. "Demanding, old-fashioned… _old money_… This is one of his several apartments, actually" Sebastian said casually.

Kurt couldn't help but look around, startling. That made sense. Sebastian's furniture looked classy and old. Kurt knew Sebastian had to be somewhat rich, but this was the kind of apartment you inherited, not rented.

"He gave it to you?" Kurt asked, astonished.

Sebastian snorted and shook his head, exiting his distracted trance. "Oh, _God helps us_, no" he said. "Who knows what he'd ask in return… he asks enough for just mercifully letting me live here" Sebastian joked, bitterly.

Kurt raised his eyebrows, shocked. "What does he ask of you?" he heard himself ask before he could control his mouth.

Sebastian locked eyes with Kurt once again, but this time he studied them thoroughly. Kurt gulped down, wondering how bad it could be. Or if this was just Sebastian being his uncommunicative self when it came to personal issues.

"Pre-med" the boy stated, unaffectedly. Kurt's eyes got wide. "Actually, that's not accurate. 'A real career' is what he said, and he was _kind_ enough to let me choose between Business, Law and Medicine" Sebastian commented ironically, using a tone that made him sound detached and amused, but Kurt knew better than that.

"That's awful" Kurt let slip, his hand stroking Sebastian's back.

Sebastian shrugged tiredly and looked more relieved after his vent. "It's not like I hate Medicine, so… it's not that bad. And he takes care of the fees, the bills and all. I can't exactly complain" the boy explained, his expression more genuine now.

"You didn't have a voice there?" Kurt asked, trying to figure out why anybody would accept something like that.

"Not really" Sebastian admitted, caressing Kurt's hair now. "But it could be worse. I don't really know what else I'd study, though, and it'll pay for three more years... so, yeah, it could be way worse" Sebastian casted him a small smile.

Kurt didn't know what to think of that. It certainly looked more like Sebastian was trying to convince himself than to convince Kurt. But it also looked like the boy hadn't had much of a choice… Kurt would not dare to judge him. So he wrapped his arms around Sebastian's abdomen and placed his head somewhere below his chest.

"As long as you're not unhappy" Kurt commented.

"I'm far from unhappy right now" Sebastian said with a calm tone, combing his fingers through Kurt's hair.

Kurt lifted his head slightly and gave Sebastian a side smile. He locked eyes with the handsome boy and felt like he was seeing Sebastian for the first time. No smirk, no snarky attitude, no sign of defences. Just Sebastian.

Somehow, that triggered something inside Kurt. Sebastian was trusting him. _I should say something_, Kurt thought, worried.

"Bas, I… I'm not saying you should do something right now, but…" Kurt struggled with his words, not really wanting to ruin the mood, "well, you just asked me to show you how to appreciate yourself" he explained.

Sebastian casted him an intrigued smile.

Kurt bit his lip. "And… I would fail you already if I didn't say anything about this" he gulped down, uncomfortably. "Studying what your grandfather imposed you… underappreciates your own wishes" Kurt said, nervously.

Sebastian sighed. "Kurt, I really don't know what my own wishes are" he said, somewhat tiredly. "I told you."

"I get that" Kurt nodded, trying to assure Sebastian that he got his doubts. "That's why I'm not telling you to do something just yet" he continued. "Actually, I think it's hard to listen to yourself when your attention is on such authoritarian voices."

Sebastian opened up his mouth to protest, but ended up tightening his jaw, looking tense. "He doesn't really hover" the boy explained, after a few seconds. "Last time I knew about him was on the party I threw in here. He wanted me to have lunch with him and kiss his ass, you know? But he had my father phoned me for it" he snorted, bitterly. "Anyway, I simply emailed him my grades and told him to leave me the hell alone. And he did."

Kurt couldn't help but notice how tired Sebastian looked when talking about his grandfather. "I remember you said something about having a rough week" Kurt thought out loud.

Sebastian looked a little surprised. "You do?"

Kurt nodded, giving him a suspicious smile. "Of course I do. You looked so tired… Was that the last you knew of him? I mean…" Kurt suddenly remembered seeing that expression on Sebastian on another occasion. "The night before you left for France, you looked like that too."

"Oh" Sebastian scratched his neck, somewhat coyly. "No, I just… You know? I'm sorry about that. I should've said it sooner – the way I went to your apartment, and how I behaved, I mean…" he bit his lip, regretful.

Kurt stroked Sebastian's sides. "Don't worry about that" he simply said. That was water under the bridge for him now. Of course, Kurt noticed Sebastian hadn't really explained why he looked so bad that night, but he decided to let it be. "Your note was sweet. I kept it, actually" Kurt remembered, smiling.

Sebastian groaned. "_Of course_ you did" he protested playfully and held Kurt a little bit tighter. "Anyway…" he sighed, "thank you for your honesty, Kurt. It's quite a fresh angle" Sebastian said sincerely.

"You're welcome" Kurt whispered, warmly.

Sebastian went down on him then and greeted Kurt's cheek with a peck. He put the covers above them, like they were hiding. He placed one hand at each side of Kurt's head and lowered himself down again to kiss him, this time on the lips.

Kurt received Sebastian's mouth cheerily. He caressed the back of Sebastian's thighs casually while they deepened the kiss. Sebastian buried his knees on the mattress, shivering by the tickling of Kurt's fingertips on his skin.

The boy chuckled brightly. "Remember when you were all nervous every time I tried to touch you?" he joked.

Kurt didn't take his hands away and aimed a little higher, reaching Sebastian's buttocks carefully. "I don't know what you're talking about" Kurt attacked Sebastian's lips again.

Sebastian smiled into the kiss, which was cute, but also, it was keeping Kurt from kissing him properly. Kurt groaned. They broke the kiss and Sebastian's lips found its way down Kurt's throat.

"I'm sure you'll find a way to make me nervous again. Occasionally" Kurt added, because he was quite certain he was over the nervous phase by now.

Sebastian just hummed against Kurt's skin, gracing it with his teeth.

"I don't mean to kill the mood, but we're gonna be late, Bas" Kurt said tentatively, stroking Sebastian's back to make it less rough.

Sebastian groaned tiredly and tumbled down against Kurt's belly. "Whatever happened to never getting out of bed?"

Kurt chuckled. "That was your idea, and I didn't support it."

"Oh, you're killing me!" Sebastian complained, affectedly.

Kurt rolled his eyes but kept pacing Sebastian's back with his fingertips. "We'll get right into bed again as soon as we're back" he promised.

"Mm… Deal" Sebastian said, reluctantly.

/

"No" Kurt said with disbelief, with the kind of gossipy tone he used to employ when Rachel told him she had met yet another celebrity in the Paramount parking lot.

"He did, Pillsbury! He got up the stage and sang for us _My friends_" Maggie told Kurt excitedly, her eyes sparkling like a little girl's.

Kurt's jaw fell opened and he casted Sebastian a playfully resented look. Kurt slapped his shoulder. "You had to do that when I wasn't here, didn't you?" he accused Sebastian.

Sebastian chuckled. "Hey" he defended from the beating. "Accept it, _babe_: you had your chance to appreciate my performing but wasted it on hating me instead" he smirked, cheekily. "You'll never see me perform again."

"_God_, I _so _hate you right now!" Kurt narrowed his eyes and looked away, containing a smile.

He locked eyes with Edna then, and blushed for what he saw. The old lady was eyeing Sebastian and him with suspicious eyes and a knowing expression. So was Maggie.

Kurt smiled awkwardly and took a sip from his diet coke. Thankfully, Sebastian had either not noticed it, or ignored it.

"And I killed it, didn't I?" Sebastian asked his grandmother with puppy eyes.

Edna smiled back lovingly at her grandson. "Of course you did, hun. You've been playing _Sweeney Todd_ since you learned how to talk. It's hardly a surprise" she consented her grandson.

Sebastian casted Kurt a spoiled smile.

Kurt rolled his eyes, amused. "I won't believe it until I see it…" he said, casually.

Sebastian came closer and placed a hand on his knee. He squeezed it. "_Oh_, you're gonna have to do _so_ much better than that… In fact, you're gonna have to beg me" he smirked, suggestively.

Kurt blushed again, giving a quick look to the two old ladies who observed them with a really confused expression.

Kurt shook Sebastian's hand off and sat as far away from him as possible, although they were sharing a narrow couch. "He's such a tease" Kurt casted the ladies a casual smile. "I don't know how you manage to bear with him, Edna" he commented distractedly, taking a sip from his drink again.

Sebastian frowned at him, then looked at the ladies and took in the scenario. "Relax, gayface. You're not my type" he winked at him, playfully.

"Sebastian!" Edna told him off, looking annoyed by her grandson's behaviour. "Don't listen to him, Kurt. He's incorrigible" she hissed, rolling her eyes.

Maggie chuckled, and Kurt was relieved to notice that both Edna and she looked less suspicious again. "Such a pity. You two would make a lovely pair" she exclaimed, animatedly.

Kurt winced, making a disgusted face. "Oh, please. Have you seen those teeth?" he said, smirking maliciously.

Sebastian kicked his foot under the table. "_Yeah_, and I actually like _men_, Maggie. And even If I did like women, I'd still have my doubts…" Now it was Kurt who kicked Sebastian's foot.

"A pity, really" Kurt commented, sarcastically.

"Yep" Sebastian added, playfully.

Maggie chuckled again, clearly enjoying Sebastian and Kurt's little scene. "Oh, in that case I think I have the perfect match for you, Pillsbury!" she suddenly said, sharing a knowing look with Edna, who nodded along really cheery.

The commentary caught Kurt drinking and made him choke, which turned into strong coughs.

Sebastian was quickly all over him, sitting Kurt straighter and patting Kurt's back with his hand to help him swallow down the liquid. "You okay?" he asked, concerned and kind.

Kurt coughed a little more and nodded, giving him a small smile. He cleared his throat. "You were saying, Maggs?" he asked, discreetly.

Sebastian's hand remained on his back, though. Neither Kurt nor Sebastian realised it.

"Um…" the old lady looked uncertain for a moment, then continued. "His name is Tom, and he's our new doctor" she commented, with dreamy eyes. "He's so handsome, Pillsbury."

Edna nodded along, all smiles. "He is, sweetie. And he's not much older than you, I promise" she confirmed.

Kurt gulped down nervously and scratched his nape, while he smiled awkwardly at them. "Actually, I- um… I'm-"

"Kurt's already got himself a doctor" Sebastian cut him, smirking maliciously.

"A doctor? Well, what were the odds?" Edna chuckled.

Kurt smiled at Sebastian briefly. "He's not a real doctor, though" he commented, cheekily. "Not yet, at least" he added, when he caught a glimpse of Sebastian's murderous expression.

"You know him, Bas? Does he also attend NYU?" Maggie asked, curiosity taking the best of her. She was employing her gossipy tone.

Sebastian nodded, to play along. "Yes. And he's a keeper" he smirked.

Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Oh, really?" Maggie asked, delighted. "That's so nice, Kurtie. I'm so glad for you" the lady said honestly, touching Kurt's insides with her smile.

Kurt felt inevitably warmer all of a sudden. Calmer. Happier. "He is" Kurt confirmed, truly.

Sebastian looked at him briefly, containing a smile. They both turned their look to the old ladies, though.

"And I'm glad too" Kurt added, smiling at Maggie.

"Well, I hope he doesn't take too much of your time, sweetie, because we were gonna ask your help with something" Edna said, mysteriously.

Kurt casted her a surprised and curious look. "Please, _do tell_" he said, intrigued.

"Boring" Sebastian got up, but winked at his grandmother. "I'm going to the restroom" he told her, then observed Kurt's empty glass and simply took it, mechanically.

Kurt didn't notice that. Edna and Maggie did, but they didn't say anything.

"What is it, dears?" Kurt asked, animated.

"Our next production" Maggie clapped her hands, childishly,

"We're doing _Follies_, Kurtie, and while it's a play that naturally suits all of us here, we want to give it a new, fresh angle. And I only know one person who can do that" Edna smiled, generously.

"No way" Kurt's jaw fell to the floor. "_Follies_. Wow" he let that sink in, feeling incredibly flattered. He cleared his throat, excitement flooding his chest already. "When do we start?"

Edna and Maggie clapped their hands simultaneously and laughed, delighted.

Kurt couldn't help but giggling too.

"I told you he would agree" Maggie said, animatedly.

"Agree to what?" Sebastian asked, casually planting a refill of diet coke in front of Kurt and sitting beside him.

"Thank you" Kurt smiled at him, then took a sip that thankfully distracted him from Maggie's suspicious look.

"To direct our next production, Bastian" Edna interfered, enthusiastic. "We're doing _Follies_ and- oh! I just had the best idea!" she brought a hand to her mouth, dramatically.

Kurt enjoyed her show-offs. Maggie rolled her eyes at her friend, tiredly. "What is it, dear?" she asked anyway.

"My beautiful Sebastian. You should help too, honey" Sebastian automatically made a face, reluctant. "No, listen to me, dear; you've got the talent and the youth – that's all I'm gonna say to you" Edna pointed an accusing finger at her grandson.

Sebastian scratched his nape, uncomfortably. But Kurt could seize an opportunity. "Of course he will, Edna. Leave that to me" he smirked, like a true schemer.

Sebastian rolled his eyes at Kurt and sighed. "Fine" he agreed, then pinched on Kurt's thigh playfully. "The things you'll do to see me perform, huh?" he asked, maliciously.

Kurt shook his head. "God, you're so full of yourself" he said, disguising his true excitement.

Sebastian chuckled, genuinely, and stole Kurt's glass to take a sip from it. Again, Kurt didn't notice. He had got used to the domesticity some time ago.

"Oh, I just have a little problem, though…" he remembered, pouting thoughtfully. "I don't have as much free time as I used to…" Kurt lamented.

"Oh, that's right. With your Vogue schedules, and your classes…" Sebastian agreed, and Kurt nodded along, both boys exchanging a knowing, tired look.

They had already faced this problem with _their_ free time. Isabelle had offered Kurt to stay with a more suitable schedule that didn't interfere with NYADA. Still, it didn't leave time for much more. So naturally, they devoured every night they could and enjoyed their weekends fully.

They hummed at unison, unaware of it, then Kurt scratched his neck, thoughtfully. "It'd have to be on the weekends… on Sundays, more specifically" he suggested, reluctantly. He really wished he had more time.

He locked eyes with the ladies then and noticed they were smiling suspiciously. He looked at his thigh and saw no sign of Sebastian's hand. Neither on his back.

Edna shook him out of his confusion. "Sundays will do, dear. It's our Christmas production. We've got time" she said, kindly.

"Great" he sighed, relieved, and patted the armchair enthusiastically. "I can't wait to get to it."

"It'll have to wait 'til next Sunday, though" Sebastian got up, casting Kurt a knowing smile.

"Oh, _right_" Kurt got up too. They were going to the movies tonight. Not just any kind of movie theatre, but _their_ erotic one. He took in Maggie's frowning and explained: "Sebastian kindly offered to give me a ride home. I have a date with my doctor tonight" he waggled his eyebrows, cheerily.

"I'm sure he did" Edna mumbled, but got up to hug them good-bye. "Well, we'll see you two next weekend" she stated while pointing a finger at them, like her word was final.

Kurt nodded and hugged her back. "Fear not, my lady."

Sebastian and he went to the hall and Kurt took both their jackets from the hanger. He offered Sebastian his and helped him put it on. Sebastian opened the door for him and they left.

Maggie and Edna observed the scene with a cheeky smile.

"I'd like to think we had some doing there" Maggie said, proudly.

Edna rolled her eyes.

/

Once on the movie theatre, Sebastian and Kurt sat down on their usual seats. Well, maybe saying "usual" was a little too much, since this was only their third time there.

They felt quite comfortable, though. The room was almost empty and they had enough space to place their popcorns and drinks. The movie was about to start.

"You think we fooled them?" Kurt asked Sebastian, a little concerned.

Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him, not really following. He was wearing his black glasses again, which absolutely made Kurt's day.

"Oh, you look so adorable all confused with your black glasses" Kurt giggled, squeezing his knee.

Sebastian snorted and threw him a popcorn. "What did you mean, gayface?" he asked, eating distractedly.

It was nice not to see the boy get cold or freaked out when Kurt called him things like that. Like _adorable_.

"I meant Edna and Maggie" Kurt explained. "I'm pretty sure they suspect something" he whispered, noticing the lights had gone off and the screen was turned on.

Sebastian shrugged. "So what?" he asked, casually.

Kurt was taken aback by how cool Sebastian seemed to be with the matter. "Oh, nothing" he said, feeling dumb. Sebastian was right. _So what?_ He wondered, biting his lip.

Sebastian chuckled and put his arm around Kurt, granting himself some access to Kurt's ear. "So we tell them and they start planning our wedding. Not a big deal" he joked. Kurt rolled his eyes. "Now, seriously, though. You wanna know the second part of my fantasy here?" he asked, suggestively.

Kurt gulped down. "I wasn't aware there was a second part" he said, looking around nervously. He knew that look on Sebastian's eyes.

"Babe, we're practically alone, and no one has visual access to this row" Sebastian whispered, his hand stroking the inside of Kurt's thigh.

"Dear Gaga" Kurt closed his eyes, feeling the arousal coming. "Tell me it's not what I'm thinking."

Sebastian chuckled. "Now, how could I possibly do that? I don't know what you're thinking. I know what _I am_ thinking, and it's pretty innocent even" he said, biting Kurt's earlobe.

That made Kurt's eyes pop up opened. "Innocent?" he asked, suspiciously.

"Shh" Sebastian shushed him, covering Kurt's mouth with his fingers. "The movie has started" he murmured, playfully.

Kurt groaned and Sebastian uncovered his mouth to stroke Kurt's neck instead, while his other hand kept getting dangerously closer to Kurt's crotch.

"I knew you'd find the way to make me nervous again" Kurt lamented on a whisper.

Sebastian smirked, childishly, and slipped his hand under Kurt's trousers. "Relax and enjoy" he encouraged Kurt, his voice somewhat deeper.

Kurt didn't pull his eyes from the screen at any moment, hoping hardly that if he did so, no one would suspect anything. But the truth was that no one would say anything even if they saw them. That didn't ease his nerves, though.

Sebastian's hold on his intimate parts got tighter, and soon enough his hand was under the briefs, jerking now Kurt without hesitation.

Kurt covered his mouth and tried to keep a steady breathing, his feet twirling inevitably. He thrust against Sebastian's hand almost unconsciously, and by the time he realised that was what he was doing, he was too into it to stop.

Eventually, and thankfully, Kurt came, panting agitatedly against his own hand. Sebastian closed his zipper and cleaned his hand with a tissue. Then, the boy started eating again popcorns like it was no biggie.

Kurt stared at the screen and simply shook his head when Sebastian had the nerve to offer him some popcorns. He was too embarrassed to look at the boy, or at anywhere else, really.

Sebastian chuckled and patted Kurt's thigh. "I'll make it up to you" he whispered on his ear, "don't be mad" he added, and Kurt was surprised to notice that his tone was unaffected, not provocative. Maybe he meant it.

"I'm not" Kurt assured him, although he still could not lock eyes with him. He was still very much overwhelmed by the filthy scene they had just starred. Too self-aware.

Sebastian planted a kiss on his cheek then and held Kurt's hand, turning his look to the screen again.

Kurt sighed and wondered if he'd ever get used to Sebastian's twisted sweetness. Not that he didn't love it, but it didn't cease to accelerate his heart beating.

Kurt squeezed Sebastian's hand and brought it to meet his lips. He kissed it and put it down again, more calmed down.

They watched the rest of the movie quite pleasantly.


End file.
